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Buffy's Commentary

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About this blog

Because I don't opine nearly enough elsewhere.  Actually this is a weird little repository for things that amuse me...which don't always amuse other people but I'm okay with that.

Entries in this blog

 

TMI - do not read if freaked out by feminine sourced misery

You know how some women glide from one stage of life to the next effortlessly because their hormone changes are perfectly calculated and naturally administered with little disruption bringing only the good aspects of what is yet to be with none of the suffering? Yeah, me neither.  And if you're such a woman be grateful and I'm happy for you, but if you leave comments to that effect on this post I'll leave mean memes on your status.  Fair warning. My hormones never bothered to calibrate

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Audit Prep (or WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ZEN?!)

I made this happen yesterday.  Literally. I honestly didn't mean to make someone kinda cry...welling up, not ugly cry...I pretended not to notice.  Even though I still felt bad...but I'm over it. I get that audits aren't enjoyable for most people... But it's no walk in the park for me either.  I don't like spending so much time out of my comfort zone  I think the entire company wants to shove me back into my comfort zone...my pink clipboard and Hello Kitty lanyard is striking fear into

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

I'm all about the meetings...

I had three scheduled for today.  That's right...three.  On a Friday.   Yes, I do believe scheduling those is a form of self-harm.   One of them was scheduled for earlier...but I moved it because I had other important things to do first... And the one later afternoon was cancelled due to someone else's scheduling issue...didn't much like that guy before, but I do now. In order to move these things along I have some plans.  Did some pre-meeting communication with key p

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Guess what I'm up to?!

A little exposition for those of you unfamiliar with the joys of conducting or being the subject of an internal audit... Internal auditors ...we're the good guys.  Like your mom, we just want what's best for you. Properly conducted audits benefit everyone in the organization... Unfortunately not everyone being audited sees it that way...some are angry.... Some try to charm us... Some try to challenge us with their defiance... some try to fool us...

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

What's your flouncing style?

There are as many ways to flounce as there are people who get butthurt over nothing.  What's your flouncing style? Fancy? Aggressive? Glamorous? Classic? Youthful? No fuss? Pithy? Or are you more of a jetsetter kind of flouncer? Do you helpfully offer to help others flounce with you? Here's to flouncers everywhere who don't always get the credit they deserve by making the forum a better place...by leaving. Some tried to eff

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Yesterday....suuuuucked...

Exposition:  Monday night at about 6:00 pm I took a low dose of Effexor prescribed for hot flashes and other peri-menopause issues.  After an hour or two it knocked me on my ass...like a handful of Vicodin.  Like crashed on the couch and needed to be physically walked to the bedroom because way to out of it to be trusted walking past the stairs... Wake up the next morning all tingly...and not in a good way...but not necessarily bad yet.  Just like floaty.  Then I got up... the best t

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

I am Granny Clampett...

Not seeing the resemblance?  You will after this sadly true story. We moved into this house almost a year ago.  I've always liked the cooktop.   One of the kids who had cleaned the kitchen had dropped part of what we thought was a burner grate and it cracked. shit happens and I was so happy someone cleaned the kitchen without being asked I wasnt even annoyed when my husband said he couldn't find the replacement piece online.  Figured with my Google fu I'd have it ordered in no time.

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Crazy cat lady or the feline Mrs. Duggar?

So I had this dream last night - more like an emotional nightmare - where we adopted 50+ cats all at once.  The cuteness was overwhelming, but everyone someone in my family came home they can't with boxes of cats...carrying cats, cats poking heads out of backpacks and hoodies...until there were hundreds of cats from very elderly to brand new kittens.  Every size, color, type...you name it and they were everywhere. Not neatly packed in a labeled box like this.   Anyway I had a full on breakdo

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

There is a right way and a wrong way to do everything...

If I find the roll in the bathroom hanging under again instead of correcting it I'm going to do this... and of course I'm talking about the bathroom at work.  At home 3 out of 5 of us think this is the proper way...when they bother at all.   It's not rocket surgery people...replace the roll properly and no one will get hurt.

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

The Surreal Life, Episode 8: The Surreal Wedding

It's the final episode of The Surreal Life, which means it must be time for The Surreal Corey Feldman Wedding. Can Corey overcome the way everybody feels about him to make it a memorable evening that he will always remember whenever he remembers it? Time to say goodbye to the whole motley crew.    The Surreal Wedding. Yawn. Is everyone as excited as I am? That was rhetorical, kids. Well on with the recap... Talk about going out with a whimper rather than a bang. Jerri says that

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

'Tis the Season...for Audits

Most of my job involves IT.  IT is what I do, it's how I self-identify, it's how I spend the majority of most days.  But there is another part of my position which doesn't take up a lot of time because it's easier...but when it does hijack my work life it does it full force. I'm the head of QA.  Quality Assurance.  Lead Internal Auditor.  I have a clip board and everything.   For those of you unfamiliar with this highly sought after position (which no one wanted and I got by default because I

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

We've missed some holidays...

I've been behind on posting the holidays because...I get bored and find other mindless things to amuse me.  So a quick catch-up: March 20th - National Ravioli Day March 21st - National Common Courtesy and French Bread Days March 22nd - National Bavarian Crepes and National Goof Off Day (so like every day, sans crepes?) March 23rd - ooh - big day - needs bullet points National Chia Day   National Near Miss Day  

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Stuff I don't understand...

There are a lot of things I don't understand about the fundy mindset, but far and away the one thing I most want an answer to is how this belief system can override one of the most primal human instincts...to protect your child. You teach girls blind submission and you increase their risk of being victims of abuse by orders of magnitude...and who have no idea how strong and resourceful they can be even without an umbrella of protection. You teach boys that they are at the mercy of thei

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

True story...sad or funny? You decide...

Some overheard at work in meme form between coworker (we'll call him Luke*), me, and The Powers That Be (we'll call them Satan.) *Names changed to protect the innocent Luke to me: What I said: What I thought: Coworker to Satan: Satan to coworker: Coworker tells me he's made yet another plea for them to make me stay... I explain that contrary to popular belief no matter what they felt I wouldn't be required to stay.  There is no legal indenture ap

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

I don't know why said that...

But you know how someone clearly hacked my blog last week and said something about trying to be a better person....as if that came from me?  I was going to call the internet police over someone impersonating me with that crazy positive talk....but then I thought maybe I could stand a little self improvement so maybe I'll give that whole being a better person thing a shot.   So one way to be a better person is to be more positive, right?  So that's easy...I'll be a

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Meetings...anyone else bored yet?

I call two major, mandatory, cannot refuse, if your name is on the invite your ass needs to be in the conference room meetings a year.   That's not so many.  Once in the summer, once near end of year...it's not that intrusive to meet twice a year. For four hours.  Okay, that's a lot...but it's not my fault.  This is how we, as a whole, decided to meet this part of the standard so they aren't so much my meetings as our collective meetings upon which we agreed.  I just set the agenda, run the me

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

I need some good thoughts sent my way...

I need you guys to be with me in spirit today...I'm about to do the riskiest thing I've ever done (and I've had sex on a second floor window ledge, so that's saying something)...just wish me luck that I can handle the repercussions, whatever they might be. But... Even though... which it totally could.  But... and I need to be free from the torture of what ifs...my brain will stay itchy until it's resolved and this seems less risky that opening up my skull to pour cala

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

One day down - one to go

So far I'm still alive...let's hope I can maintain that through the rest of the audit and I get the result I'm looking for which Dilbert captured so beautifully. I thought yesterday went as well as can be expected, but I woke up today and my right eye is completely bloodshot where my son said it was too gross to look directly at me which happens when I have a migraine.  Did i mention I woke up with a migraine?  So I might be more stressed than I think.  

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Smiling and RBF...

I am one of those women always being told to smile.  I have resting bitch face and so even when I'm perfectly content I apparently look somewhat annoyed.  Or focused.  Or stop looking at my face if you don't like it... This has been going on since I was a child.  I never understood it.  I'd be happily engrossed in a book, playing dolls, or color-forms and someone would tell me to smile because I'm so much prettier when I do.   Absolutely no difference between that and sitting behind a bank

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

A peek into my the marriage...I'm here to teach...

So I've been married for several hundred years now and as yesterday was Valentine's Day I thought this would be a good time to share a little bit with you about my marriage.  Because like J'Chelle I, too, think having the extremely rare achievement under my belt makes me an expert in all things relationshippy.    Q: How did you know he was the one? A:  Because when we first got together this happened...and I hate the phone.  &#

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Speaking of Pecans...

(This is a redo for those who saw the test blog, some previously viewed content you have been warned..) In preparing for the upcoming holiday baking seasons many people thoughts turn to pecans and subsequently for FJite bakers...pecan theives.  Because let's face it, when we see the price of those spendy little nuts one understands the temptation to glean... First we must outfit ourselves with the proper perspective to tackle this controversial topic Because both pecans and pecan thieves are

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Bonnie and Clyde...what DID they do with the money?

We all know about Bonnie and Clyde, murdering theives who probably smelled pretty badly most of the time seeing as their access to showers was spotty at best. So why the wool suits in summer in the south?  Really? So I fell down a rabbit hole reading about them recently (and if you think the FJ community is drama filled we got nothing on them) and I have a question: What the hell did they do with the cash? I know some consider them folk heroes due to the great depression and

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

If ads are a snapshot in time of who we were...

It's amazing any of us are here, because our grandparents and those who came before were crazy people judging on the print ads. First - they were very anti-VD which I can totally get behind...so to speak... This one..you know she's just a good time gal because she's winking...nothing more whorish than moving your eyelid up and down in the general direction of another person...   Gay totally did mean something different back then...either that or Midol had very different s

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy

 

Things a little rocky with you and your man...

I don't have any words of wisdom, except to not follow the unsafe and blindingly sexist advice from ads of yesteryear which told women to flood their neither regions with Lysol to keep their husband happy. http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/05/14/vintage-lysoldouching-advertisement-corner/ Here's just one example:     Walked out on his wife and child because she didn't douche with Lysol?  I need to know exactly how good his junk smelled and I

HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy



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