Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal

Salty Memoirs of FinnLassie

Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
  • comments
  • views

About this blog

Many things have happened in my life. Shit family members, shit relationships, and shit people and happenings in general. Some of the posts are going to be deeper, some just me being petty about a small thing, and some random memories (positive, negative and neutral) that have happened along the way. But there's also good things, and that's the note I'll end everything with.

Entries in this blog


A Little Less Salty - Can You Guess the Place?

So, a while ago I mentioned in my last entry, that my sister and I share a language we have made up ourselves. We were chatting again as usual, and I noticed that we sometimes write cities and countries as they should be in Finnish or English, and some we turn into our language. I'll list some of these down - have a guess and/or a laugh! 1. Kostawika 2. Tsäpön 3. Nuujook 4. Ooswewija 5. Montwiä 6. Washa 7. Nooskäwowiinä 8. Uwanbato 9. Assöbashan 10. Bwyssewi




Speaking a Made Up Language

For many years, me and my younger older sister (SaneSister, not NarcSister - see my previous blog post) have spoken a language that only we two know. Us two have a two year difference and we shared a room for about 9 years when we lived in the countryside. She go the top bunk, and I was toootally fine sleeping in the bottom one. Being that we didn't really have kids our age live nearby, a lot of the time we made up games just between us two. One of our favourite things to play was Fifi the Pekingese dog. It started when my sister got a dog breed book as a gift, and we both found the breed really hilarious. So we started our journey as Fifi and her puppy or sibling. Playing Fifi, we started speaking in a rather peculiar voice during it. Around the age of 10, it started to be our regular way of talking, and that's when our Fifi-language really took off, and people stopped understanding what the hell we're saying apart from some key words. It's a hybrid, combining languages, pronunciations, and we've also developed how we write it. It's such a weird thing. The saltiness to this whole thing comes from how other people in my family reacted to this language. It was very berating, making fun of me and my sister. Yes, our voice changes completely when we speak it, but it does hurt when something really dear to you is being made fun of. My mum always starts laughing when we use our language, not really understanding why we think it's inappropriate. My positive take on this? Me and SaneSister have a way of bonding that is completely special between us two. Having our own language sets us free, and we can share some secrets that nobody else can pick up on. --finnlassie--




My Eldest Sister Doesn't Care About Me

I cannot remember a single time she's apologised in the past five years. Actually, I can't remember a single time in the past 10 or more years. Sure, I've had a couple of Sorry, IF I haves, but those mean nothing. In the end, those have always turned the blame to the person calling her out. NarcSister has also not comforted me or said words of encouragement in... yeah, at least the past ten years. It's always been discouragement. Te It's always been about reminding us others how we owe her things. We owe her explanations, we owe her favours, we owe her every minute of our lives. We owe her the glory, the access for her to brag about us, her sisters, as if we're her trophies. When our parents divorced, I was barely a teenager. Instead of comforting me, she spewed me all of her sorrows and how horrible our parents are, when we were supposed to just have a sisters movie night. She has literally thrown herself on the sofa crying like a toddler when we've not done her way. I really, really tried to call out her behaviour a couple of years ago. How demanding she is. How she doesn't give space. She turned that against me. That she must be oh so horrible (I mean, she is) that she doesn't deserve my time. And then went on demanding me to give examples of when she's been demanding. She was demanding examples of when she's not given space. NarcSister demanded me to give her explanations. And all I wanted to say was "right now. right now is enough of an example", but I kept my mouth shut. I'm not sure if I did right or wrong. I feel sad that I don't stand up against her. Especially when she uses her children, my dear nephews as weapons, as if they're objects she can blackmail us with. I hate that our mother enables everything. She always has excuses. "Oh, she's always been so strong willed. Oh, NarcSister is such a passionate person! But she's really changed! She's getting better and better! You need to accept that she isn't perfect!" ... well, perhaps in your eyes. But she keeps on playing her abusive game to us, her sisters, and our dad, who she's abused the most. I hate that I'm already scared about my wedding day, even though I'm not even engaged. I get so much anxiety. I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. But I also don't want my NarcSister's face to look like she just sucked a thousand lemons, huffing and puffing. That's what she did at my graduation celebration. She made the whole day about herself and her angst. I wonder if she realises that our SaneSister (middle child) has completely cut ties with her because she's so obnoxious. How she's never let her live her own life. How NarcSister has made it all about herself. How she keeps sending harrassing emails and text messages, using our nephews as weapons, trying to lure her into responding. NarcSister is currently whacking the last nails on her coffin. Soon, if this continues, I'll be gone too. I wrote this because yesterday she violated my privacy by tagging me and posting my real name on Instagram (my SaneSister too). I have ALWAYS kept my family relations away from ALL social media, for my safety, and other people's safety too as our family has history with a hostile stalker. But instead of being normal and saying "oh, sorry, I'll do that" she went on a rant how she didn't know our relationship is a secret and how I should inform in my profile how no one is allowed to tag me. Well, my friends are allowed to tag me, BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS ASK. Because they respect me. Because they show me unconditional love. My positive take on this? Even though I have to stand my NarcSister, I've learnt to defend myself. I've learnt to protect myself. I've learnt that I don't owe her things, and I'm mostly able to reject her demands. Slowly, I'm getting stronger. -- finnlassie --



Sign in to follow this  

  • Blog Statistics

    • Total Blogs
    • Total Entries
  • Recent Status Updates

    • PumaLover


      My 17 year old dog went missing 3 weeks ago yesterday. I've been hesitant to post about it, because I am certain a mountain lion (Puma) got her and I still can't really deal with it. 
      I'm the PumaLover. I used to work with wild cats and we moved up here to the mountains because I wanted to live among the wildlife. I've studied pumas for 11 years and knew I was moving into their territory. We took all the precautions. I never, ever thought one would grab my dog around noon in broad daylight. A couple days after she went missing, my other two dogs were going crazy in their kennel and then I saw two large pawprints in the sand on the driveway. My 6 year old niece is no longer allowed out in the yard by herself.
      I've been trying to be positive and my usual cheerful self but it's been really hard, and y'all FJers are the only ones who really see who I am after everyone else is asleep. 
      · 0 replies
    • thoughtful


      Last week, my sweet beagle boy had his last chemo treatment for lymphoma. He was diagnosed in February, and has been on a roller coaster ever since - 18 chemo treatments, with various unpleasant reactions (including one very frightening episode), constantly vacillating blood work, weight loss, anemia - the whole nine yards.
      But he has been in remission for a while, and has been bouncing back, gaining weight, turning back into his cheerful, lovey self. He didn't have unpleasant reactions to the last three treatments. I'd hoped the old guy could have some normal, happy time.
      While he was there, the vet felt that his thyroid seemed swollen. She aspirated and sent the tissue for biopsy. I just found out that he now has thyroid cancer.
      Besides hurting for him, and myself, I dread telling my mother. She adores this dog.
      · 1 reply
    • finnlassie


      i have my birthday on the 24th and feel like garbage. i'm so insecure. i'm scared no one wants to spend time with me. i've tried to act all cool and like heh my birthday's not a big deal for like 6 years now, but it is a big deal to me.
      · 3 replies
    • louisa05


      Waiting for contractor to come give estimate on some work on our garage. Supposed to be here 55 minutes ago. And cable has been out since 3 p.m. yesterday. Cable tech was supposed to call by 9 a.m., too. Nothing. This after dealing with phone and internet issues all day last Thursday. Good thing it's summer and I'm not working. 
      · 2 replies
    • HerNameIsBuffy


      Mike and Carol were right.  Astroturf and plastic shrubbery is the way to go.
      We have made so much progress ...why, why, why is weeding still a societal obligation?!
      I am hot, crabby, covered in hives, and hands full of prickers that just laughed my gardening gloves.
      If I ran the world plants that assault you with prickers would get to live where they will.  Ditto any plant that’s ambitious enough to grow through cracks in concrete.  Let’s reward their gumption and give them their hard earned squatters rights.
      I work all week and have a long commute...I don’t need to play Pa Ingalls clearing land on my weekend.
      · 3 replies