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FJ Reviews & Recaps

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A collaborative effort from Free Jinger members to review and recap books, movies and tv shows.

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Golden Tickets Grandpa Joe tells Mr. Bucket to read faster, as he simply must know the big news. He's content to sleep all day until Charlie comes home, but as soon as there is some sort of news about this chocolate factory, he's all about ordering his son (who works on the line at a factory) to read faster. Hey, Grandpa Joe, why don't you just read it yourself?  The newspaper says that Willy Wonka is a "candy-making genius" whom nobody has seen in 10 years. Willy Wonka is going to allow five children to visit the factory. They will also win a lifetime supply of chocolates and candies. To win, they must find one of five "Golden Tickets" that have been hidden in the wrapping of candy bars.  Grandma Josephine (of Joe) exclaims that the man is dotty. Grandpa Joe thinks he's brilliant and explains marketing and how using contests is part of many companies strategy.  Grandpa George is excited because of the free candy.  Grandma Georgina (of George) uses an exclamation point while remarking that the candy would have to be delivered in a truck.   Grandpa Joe tries to get Charlie excited about the possibility of winning. Charlie is sad and tells him he won't win, as he gets one bar of chocolate a year.  Of George tries to make Charlie feel better by saying he has the same chances, while George points out that other kids are buying candy every day, while Charlie gets one candy bar a year. ONE. Charlie gets ONE. Because he's poor. 

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Secret Workers  Grandpa Joe tells Charlie how the large factory in their city randomly shut down one day, laying off all of the workers and closing. Mr. Wonka said he was SORRY, and then sent home every single worker. Not an HR professional was left to handle the closeout and/or severance packages. No safety inspector left to ensure the ongoing safety of this large industrial building. Just shut it down. The reason for laying off the local workforce? Supposedly corporate espionage. Spies. Wonka was mad that other chocolatiers had stolen his special candies, such at the non-melting ice cream.* Then one day, it reopened, only they never rehired the workers. The gate remained locked. Grandpa Joe claims that "the people" could see small dark shadows moving about the factory. And the factory has been making candy and chocolate and they are even better than ever. Once again we are reminded that no one goes in and no one comes out. No one has even seen Mr. Wonka since the closing of the factory. The only things that come out are the chocolates and candies. They are packed and picked up by the Post Office.  At the end of the chapter, we are left with a cliff hanger! Mr Bucket (Charlie's father, the text helpfully reminds me) runs into the room waving a newspaper about. The Wonka Factory will be opened again to a lucky few! Haha, printed newspapers.  *he can make non-melting ice creams, but a chocolate mansion melts into a puddle?    Okay, seriously? How many violations is Mr Wonka running here? He's not letting in food and safety inspectors! He's fired the locals and doesn't leave his factory! Does he have foundations and grants for residents of this city? Charitable donations to get the goodwill of the people he's not hiring and poisoning with his factory? He fired a factory worth of people and they still love him? What is in this candy? Nicotine? Heroin? Meth? Ecstasy? Whatever "natural" drug I learned about last night on reddit where you don't even know you are high but you experience intense hallucinations? AND he laid off the locals but brought in immigrants;literal illegal aliens to save costs! Willy Wonka is Mitt Romney.   

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Chapter 3

This chapter is awkward.  Chapter 3: Mr. Wonka and the Indian Prince  Grandpa Joe tells Charlie the story of "Prince Pondicherry," who had asked Mr. Willy Wonka to "come all the way out to India and build him a colossal palace entirely of chocolate." Those Indians, amirite? Always with their weird names and schemes to do impractical things. /s Mr. Wonka, of course, builds the chocolate palace and tells Prince Pondicherry (Which is a cute name but also strikes me as somewhat inappropriate. This book was written in the 1950s, published in the 1960s, so this would be about when the UK was taking in a lot of refugees from the India/Pakistan border area. I am not intimately familiar with the causes of the partition, and being a 30 something American, I am not 100% certain that I'm not talking out my ass right now.) to start eating the castle immediately, as India is hot and the castle will melt.  The castle, btw, sounds amazing. Both amazingly engineered (hot chocolate comes out of the chocolate pipes, even the chocolate carpet) and amazingly gross. Seriously, you'll just be sticky all the time.  The story of Prince Pondicherry, btw, has little to no bearing on the rest of the story. It's used to show that Charlie is skeptical of this story, and Grandpa Joe want to "tell him something else that's true." Which is that Willy Wonka's factory doesn't use local workers. At this point in the story, it's just Grandpa Joe, whispering to Charlie that "nobody....ever....comes...out..." and "nobody...ever...goes...in" And of course we find out how "good" Charlie is. He's a kid, poor as hell, and his supposedly bedridden grandfather is telling him a story, when his mom tells him it's time for bed. And Charlie and Grandpa Joe immediately decide to finish talking about Mr. Wonka's mysterious workers the next night.  As I mentioned earlier, I grew up with the 1976 paperback with the illustrations by Joseph Schindelman.  The bottom is the version that was in my book. The top, I believe, was in the UK version, published around the same time.       

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Mr Willy Wonka's Factory The old people are old. They are not only chronologically old, but they are physically old and described in great detail how very old they are. They are so old they are willing to stay in bed for years, all day, every day. They are so old they are sharing a bed with people who at one time were acquaintances. Grandpa George and Grandpa Joe only know each other because their children married. Mr and Mrs Bucket (who have no first names) must not have siblings. And while I understand this is a children's story and it makes it easier for kids... what are the chances of a "George" marrying a "Georgina" and a "Joe" marrying a "Josephine" ... and then the children of these people married each other. Maybe the reason they don't have names is because Roald Dahl couldn't think of a third form of Joe and George.  Anyway, so back to the story. Charlie likes to listen to the old people's stories at night. He will spend up to HALF AN HOUR listening to these old people talk. The old people who sleep almost all day and only perk up when Charlie is around.  This is depressing.  One night, Charlie (who has a fixation on this chocolate factory) asks the Grandparents about Wonka's Chocolate Factory. It's the biggest in the world. The Grandparents have nothing bad to say about Mr. Willy Wonka. He's just amazing and extraordinary and famous and everyone in the world loves him. And he's got all these amazing chocolate inventions, like a way to make chocolate ice cream that stays cold and doesn't melt.  He's got gum that doesn't lose it's flavour, and caramels that change color, and a million other things. Charlie and Grandpa Joe talk about this and are kind of sad about not having any money.  Then Grandpa Joe says he's going to tell Charlie about "that crazy Indian prince" and the chapter ends. DUN DUN DUN.       

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Chapter 1

I was "inspired" to reread the children's classic "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" today, when @HerNameIsBuffy voiced a thought I've had many times about Grandpa Joe. I posted the photo of the cover I am most familiar with, which is the 1970's cover. Apparently I too was poor as a child and read mostly used, hand-me-down books. Fine with me! Less wasted paper in the world, I suppose.  Chapter 1: Here Comes Charlie  We are immediately introduced to our main characters by having drawings of them along with their names and relationships. Grandpa Jo is married to Grandma Josephine. They are very old and the parents of Mr. Bucket. Grandpa George and Grandma Georgina are the parents of Mrs. Bucket. Mr and Mrs Bucket do not have first names. They have a child named Charlie. All six adults and the one "small boy" live in a wooden house that is too small for them. The able bodied adults and their child sleep in one room on mattresses on the floor. The grandparents all share one bed. I feel uncomfortable thinking about what it must smell like.  This family is poor.  The only person with a job is Mr. Bucket, who works in a toothpaste factory before they designed a machines to screw the lids on to the tops of toothpaste. Seriously. He screws the lids onto toothpaste.  They eat boiled cabbage and potatoes, which does not make me feel better about the smell coming from this old wooden house stuffed full of old bed-bound people. Once a year, Charlie receives a chocolate bar for his birthday. He savors it, which I LOVED as a kid. One other notable thing to learn in this chapter. Charlie lives in a town with a huge chocolate factory. Charlie wants to go in and see what it's like, but for now he is content with just smelling the chocolate scented air. If I lived in a house full of boiled cabbage and grandparents, I too would walk as slow as possible past the old chocolate factory. 

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

A Game of Thrones Reread: Catelyn IV

Chapter 18: Catelyn Catelyn arrives in King’s Landing and speaks with an old friend. Characters: Catelyn Stark of Winterfell Captain Moreo Tumitis: Captain of The Storm Dancer. Has a very slight Tyroshi accent. Has a forked green beard. Ser Rodrik Cassel – Traveled with Cat from Winterfell to King’s Landing. Littlefinger/Lord Baelish – was a ward of Cat’s father. They grew up together in Riverrun. Challenged Brandon Stark for the right to Catelyn’s hand in marriage. Lost. Catelyn begged Brandon to spare Littlefinger’s life. Sits on the small council. Master of Coin on King Robert Baratheon’s Small Council. Lord Varys – Told Petyr that Catelyn is in King’s Landing Also called “The King’s Spider.” (But not to his face.)   Locations: The Storm Dancer – A two-masted trading galley with 60 oars. King’s Landing (an inn, and the Red Keep)   What happens: Maggie Mae learns that she is terrible at doing anything when she doesn’t have a nice adjustable desk, multiple monitors, and a full sized keyboard. Also, typing with a 15 lb. cat in one’s lap is not conducive to productivity. In the actual story, Catelyn and Ser Rodrik take a two masted galley from White Harbor to King’s Landing. Ser Rodrik gets seasick and they shave his beard. On the boat, Cat & Rodrik discuss the terrible danger she will be in once they reach King’s Landing. Cat gives Rodrik the backstory on Littlefinger. Catelyn arrives in King’s Landing and disembarks the ship, going to stay at an inn that the captain recommended. She takes a nap and wakes up to someone at her door, telling her to open in the name of the King. Thinking that the Captain betrayed her, she arms herself and opens the door. The guards take her to the Red Keep, where she meets with Petyr. Petyr, wearing a mockingbird, tells her that Lord Varys tipped him off to Catelyn’s arrival. Lord Varys arrives and asks about the dagger. Catelyn puts it on the table and Varys cuts himself. Lord Baelish tells Catelyn that the dagger is his. Cat is confused, and Petyr elaborates that he lost the blade to Tyrion Lannister in a bet. Petyr claims that several people lost that day, as “half the court” backed Ser Jaime.   Other Characters: Bran Stark: Would it be weird to name your favorite child after your husband’s brother whom you almost married? I think it would be weird, but I am not Catelyn Stark of Winterfell. Ser Aron Santagar-  King’s Master of Arms Edmure – Catelyn’s brother Brandon Stark – Eddard’s brother, deceased. Killed by the Mad King. Was betrothed to Catelyn at the time of his death. Aegon the Conqueror - Long deceased Maegor the Cruel – Aegon the Conqueror’s son. Commanded the Red Keep to be built and executed everyone who worked on it. Maester Pycelle - Grand Maester Maester Luwin - Maester at Winterfell Loras Tyrell – unhorsed Ser Jaime at the Tourney on Prince Joffrey’s name day.   Other Locations mentioned: Three Sisters – three islands in the Bite (a bay near White Harbor) Fingers – five peninsulas that extend into the sea. Littlefinger is from the smallest of these. The Bite – A bay near White Harbor, north of the Fingers White Harbor – City in the North Dragonstone – Island and castle where Stannis Baratheon sits. Also the ancestral seat of House Targaryen. Rocky, unable to sustain crops, but it is located in Blackwater Bay, so there are lots of sea things to live on. Blackwater Rush – A river in Westeros. It’s deep and flows into Blackwater Bay, where Dragonstone is. Visenya’s Hill – A hill in King’s Landing. Named after Visenya Targaryen. The Great Sept of Baelor is on the top of the hill. Great Sept of Baelor – seven crystal towers, on top of Visenya’s Hill. Will eventually be drenched with the blood of Eddard Stark. Hill of Rhaenys – stands on the blackend walls of the Dragonpit. Street of the Sisters Braavos – a city across the narrow sea Pentos – “free city” across the narrow sea Lys – “free city” across the narrow sea Port of Ibben – Ibben is an island about the size of Iceland in the Shivering Sea. Red Keep – seven huge towers, made of pale red stone. Summer Isles – group of islands where peaceful people live.   Thoughts: I really enjoyed seeing King’s Landing as Catelyn arrived by boat. I believe it’s a perspective I hadn’t really paid much attention to before. It allowed us to really “see” more of the city, as she had time to watch it and look at the different buildings and hills. Eddard is too busy being Eddard, Sansa’s not going to know all that history or pay attention to anything other than Joff, and Arya is too busy sulking to point out historical buildings to the reader. I had forgotten that Varys was present when Littlefinger claimed the dagger. I also seem to have suffered a bit of show contamination, because the Varys in the book is SO different than Varys on the show. I think I might prefer the show version. The giggling and squealing makes me slightly uncomfortable. Catelyn believes that Varys is an enchanter, which I really don’t remember, at all. Super weird. Littlefinger points out that Catelyn is doing the opposite of the Tully words. Family, Duty, Honor, would all require she stay in Winterfell.   Links to Previous Chapters: Prologue Bran I Catelyn I Daenerys I Eddard I Jon I Catelyn II Arya I Bran II Tyrion I Jon II Daenerys II Eddard II Tyrion II Catelyn III Sansa I Eddard III Bran III Nameed Character Death Count: 5*   *I am not counting anyone who died before the events of Game of Thrones. So anyone who died in previous rebellions will not be included, e.g. Rhaegar Targaryen, Brandon Stark, etc.  

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Breaking news!

Units en route to McDonald's on W 41st for a group of teenagers throwing a dead muskrat around in the drive thru.

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

 

The Phantom Tollbooth Reread: Chapters 19 & 20 (The End)

Chapter 19: The Return of Rhyme and Reason Tock, with the Princesses on his back and Milo and the Humbug holding on the back, flies over the demons, lands on the ground, and starts running with the Princesses still on his back. They all run down the mountain trails. with demons chasing them. They meet: Triple Demons of Compromise   Horrible Hopping Hindsight    Gorgons of Hate and Malice. These guys inched along like giant soft-shelled snails, with “blazing eyes and wet anxious mouths.” They left slime behind them and moved quicker than you’d expect. OH GROSS THE IMAGERY HERE WITH THE “wet mouths.” I am seriously regretting my lunch right now. As the demons close in, they run faster and faster, but the demons move just a little bit faster than the fastest that Milo has ever run.   Then come more monsters, including: the Overbearing Know-it-all. This is a demon who is mostly mouth, who offers up misinformation. Talks a lot. His body is heavy and bulbous, with spindly legs. He tumbles often, but only hurts others. the Gross Exaggeration. Has “grotesque features” and “unpleasant mannors.” Has “rows of wicked teeth” that mangle the truth. the Threadbare Excuse. Tattered clothes, small, and constantly giving the same string of excuses. The demons keep coming, and eventually the path widens a bit and becomes flatter and lighter. And then it ends. The armies of Wisdom are there, as a last minute save. The armies include everyone that Milo has met so far, and they charge and the demons retreat. Azaz’s cabinet declares a holiday. There is a parade and celebration. Milo, Tock, and the Humbug ride in the royal carriage with Azaz and the Mathemagician, and the two princesses. Milo says that he couldn’t have done it without everyone’s help, and then Azaz and the Mathemagician tell him that the quest was, in fact, impossible. They didn’t tell him because if he knew it was impossible, he wouldn’t try. And sometimes you discover the impossible is possible if you don’t know. Or something. I guess this is the life advice of this chapter. Just don’t think it’s impossible and you’ll find a way. Well ,I want to live forever. Figure that out, Milo. Anyway, so they party and carry on and then there is a feast (with division dumplings!) and songs and poems and it goes on for a bit. Eventually the party ends and Rhyme and Reason tell Milo to say good-bye. He tries to convince Tock and Humbug to come with him (why he would want to bring this weird ass talking bug back to the real world is beyond me, but whatev. Boys are weird.). They can’t, and Milo gives them both a hug. Milo gets into his car and drives away. As he drives away, he hears the brothers start their old fight again about word vs numbers. Chapter 20: Good-by (spelling is unchanged from the book) and Hello Milo drives back to the tollbooth, puts a coin in, and ends up back in his bedroom. It’s only six p.m. on the day he left. His room appears to be very different than he remembered. The next day he rushed home from school to take another trip. Only the tollbooth is gone (so sad.) As Milo mourns this loss, he realizes that he has a million other things to do and play with and see. He’s not even sure he has the time to take another trip. The end. Thoughts: Still a pretty good book. Good wrap up to the hero’s journey. I don’t actually have much to say anymore. The demons are both adult demons and child demons. I don’t think it’s “too advanced” for a children’s book, which is something that publishers worried about back in the 60s. I think that kids tend to be smarter than we think they are, and if given the opportunity to do these things, most kids will “get it.” I also think there are kids that this book won’t do anything for. But as a fantasy book, with a hero’s quest, this book was pretty much a textbook. Structured nicely, good use of interesting words, the climax was exciting, etc.   Next YA book: I was thinking about “A Wrinkle in Time” before @WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? suggested it. But I’m still unsure if that’s something I feel like reading right now. I might do something a little bit happier or maybe just another adult fiction book like Jurassic Park. I can’t decide. Which I suppose is also a demon. I also have the Southern Vampire Mysteries, and Outlander, and non-fiction. Decisions, Decisions. Links to Previous Chapters: Chapters 1 & 2 Chapters 3 & 4 Chapters 5 & 6 Chapters 7 & 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapters 14 & 15 Chapter 16 Chapters 17 & 18    

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

The Phantom Tollbooth Reread: Chapters 17 & 18

Chapter 17: Unwelcoming Committee After what seemed like days, the trio of reluctant heroes have barely made any progress on their projects. Milo notices that he doesn’t feel tired or hungry and could on doing the same thing forever. The faceless man remarks that perhaps Milo will go on forever. Tock suggests that Milo use “his magic staff” and find out how long it will take. Milo calculates that it will take them over 800 years to finish. Milo chooses to question the “man” about the 800 years to complete this unimportant project, and the man says that he wouldn’t have asked them to do it if he thought it was important.   He laughs and introduces himself as the Terrible Trivium, demon of petty tasks and worthless jobs, ogre of wasted effort and monster of habit. As the Trivium continues to try and convince the trio to spend their time doing busy work, someone yells at them to run. So they run, and they run through some stuff, and eventually lose Trivium, but find themselves in a deep murky pit. The voice belongs to something that identifies as a long-nosed, green-eyed, curly-haired, wide-mouthed, thick-necked, broad-shouldered, round-bodies, short-armed, bowlegged, big-footed monster. Milo uses his telescope and sees something that doesn’t match that description at all. The Demon of Insincerity hides and eventually flounces. Milo, Tock and Humbug climb out of the pit, and walk along until the entire mountain moves. Turns out it wasn’t a mountain at all, but the Gelatinous Giant. The Gelatinous Giant is a giant, um, creature who is afraid of everything. Including ideas. He is a conformist who blends with the background. As he goes to eat Milo, Tock, and the Humbug, Milo reminds him of all the ideas that Azaz had given him earlier in the book. And so, the Gelatinous Giant was defeated. The trio is placed on a nearby peak and they start running forward, as more and more shadowy, scary demons come out to chase them. Chapter 18: The Castle in the Air They climb and run and finally find the highest peak, which has a “spidery spiral stair” which leads to the Castle in the Air. In front of the first step is a little man, calling himself the official “Senses Taker” and he asks a thousand questions and asks them to fill out forms. As the demons close in and Milo & friends become more impatient, the Senses Taker switches to a new tactic – trying to entice them with things only they could see, smell, and hear. Milo is shown a circus, Tock gets to smell all the wonderful things (he’s a dog, so I imagine it to be cat poo. Gross, Tock.), and the Humbug hears people cheering for him. Milo, completely oblivious and sucked into the show, allows his bag to fall from his shoulder, spilling his gift of sound, which distracts them and breaks the spell. The Senses taker helps people find what they aren’t looking for, hear what they’re not listening for, run after what they’re not chasing, and smell what isn’t even there. In a villainous speech, he claims to take the sense of purpose, duty, destroy the sense of proportion, but he can’t touch humor. FFS. They run up the stairs. It sounds scary. The princesses of Rhyme and Reason tell them to come in and that they have been expecting them. They sit down on comfy furniture and discuss their trip. Milo tries to apologize for the delay, but they shush him. They tell him it’s OK to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. There is also this quote: And this And then the demons start to chop down the stairs and the castle starts to fly off into space. OBVIOUSLY, PHYSICS IS NOT PART OF THIS LESSON. SEE ABOVE QUOTE ON MOVING THE EARTH. And so, they determine that sometimes, time can fly. The Princesses climb onto Tock, the watchdog, Milo grabs Tock’s tail, and the Humbug (who is a bug and should already be able to fly), grabs ahold of Milo’s feet and/or ankles. Thoughts: TWO MORE CHAPTERS. One which is REALLY short. I could finish it right now, but I think I’ll wait until tomorrow. I do wonder if perhaps there is a lesson to be learned from the Trivium. Some of us are spending a lot of time doing a lot of unimportant work in our offices day in and day out so we can have a paycheck. See also the conformist giant. Actually, maybe the Gelatinous Giant is more of a Trump type figure. Hiding in plain site, trying to blend in. Then again, maybe not. The Senses Taker is just a pain in the ass. So frustrating with the paperwork and the questions and the wasting of the time. See also TSA. Anyway, I still love this book and love the “time flies” joke, even though it’s super cheesey. Any suggestions for what else to read? I was thinking I might do another YA type book, just to balance out the depressing Game of Thrones Reread.

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

A Game Of Thrones Reread: Bran III

Chapter 17: Bran Bran’s direwolf gets a name. Characters: Bran Stark - Middle child of Eddard Stark and Cat Tully, recently defenstrated. In a coma. Currently dreaming or something.  The Three-Eyed Crow - also known as (SPOILER) Bloodraven.  Location: Winterfell What Happens: Bran Stark has a chapter long dream/prophecy/vision quest. Bran is told to fly, and instead he falls. Bran believes that he will wake up before he hits the ground, like in dreams. The crow that is with him asks him what if he doesn’t wake up, and Bran starts to cry. Bran doesn’t know how to fly, and the crow tells him that flying is easy. Bran looks for wings and doesn’t find them. The face of Jaime Lannister appears (saying “The things I do for love”) and the crow tells him not to think about that. Bran looks down again and he can see the entire world and everyone in it. In Winterfell, it appears he is seeing things in real time. He sees Robb looking taller than he remembered. He sees other Winterfell people working and the weirwood in the godswood. To the east he sees his mother on a ship. South, he sees the Trident and his father pleading with the king. He sees Arya watching and Sansa crying. In Essos he sees the Free cities and Vaes Dothrak, and all the way to Asshai by the Shadow, where dragons stirred. (WHAT?) North, Bran sees Jon alone, cold. Past the Wall, he sees endless forests and snows and he keeps looking north. He “looked deep into the heart of winter” and was afraid. The crow tells Bran that Bran knows now why he must live.  It’s because winter is coming, and Brand still doesn’t understand and keeps falling. The crow has three eyes and the “third eye was full of a terrible knowledge.” Looking down, Bran has to choose between flying and dying. So Bran opens his arms and flew. Bran enjoys flying. The Crow stabs Bran in the face with his beak. Bran wakes up, Robb comes running into the room, and Bran names the wolf “Summer.” Characters Mentioned: Maester Luwin – Maester at Winterfell Jaime Lannister (unnamed)  - Kingslayer Robb Stark – If you don’t know by now, please. Oldest son of Eddard Stark. Hoder – A stableboy who is a giant and has some sort of mental disability. Mikken – I think the armorer at Winterfell. Probably not long for this world. Catelyn Stark (unnamed) – Lady of Winterfell. Ser Rodrik – Master of Arms of Winterfell. Seasick. Sansa Stark – Eldest daughter of Eddard and Cat. Kind of girly. Arya Stark – Younger daughter of Eddard and Cat. Kind of angry. Jon Snow – Bastard son of Eddard or so we think. Protector of the Kingdom of Men.   Thoughts: First, he sees something from his past. (Maester Luwin trying to convince him not to climb by making the clay boy that they threw off the roof.)Then Bran sees a bunch of stuff happening in real time. Except this quote about what is surrounding Eddard, Sansa, and Arya by the Trident. Clegane, Jaime, and … ? I would guess Older Clegane, but he’s not there. It’s not Robert, because Robert was already named. Or could the “golden and beautiful” be a Tyrell? Or perhaps a Martell? Bran goes to Vaes Dothrak and Asshai by the Shadow? What does THAT mean? I am SHOCKED that we are learning about Asshai already. And the dragons are stirring? Will there be more than just Dany’s dragons? I wonder what the “terrible knowledge” is in the crow’s third eye. Could his “vision” of Jon be in the future too? (I doubt it, honestly.) And the part where Bran goes north and then more north forever until he looks into the “heart of winter?” That is some imagery. The “curtain of light at the end of the world?” What is going ON in Plantoes? Year long seasons of unpredictable length, children of the forest, dragons, weird ice people? WHEN WILL THE WINDS OF WINTER COME OUT GEORGE? COME ON. I swear, if that book is not released by the time I’m done with this absurd project, I will … I don’t know. Give up? Go to Santa Fe, watch a movie in his theatre, and eat some stacked enchiladas? The part where the weirwood LOOKS AT BRAN? I never noticed that before. I never realized they could shift their vision. How cool is that? With Bran using the trees in the future is he looking at himself? Or is that Bloodraven? I need to read faster. Oh, and what about the bodies on the ice? Are those people who didn't fly? How long has Bloodraven been trying to find a new tree? Are there other seers before BR?   Locations Mentioned: Winterfell – The Godswood, Mikken’s Forge, Maester Luwin’s balcony, the yard The Bite – I think this is the first we hear of the Bite, other than the maps. The Trident – Where Lady was executed and Rhaegar died of a Warhammer to the Chest. Narrow Sea – divides Westeros from Essos. Free Cities – Where exiles go, but there are also people living there. I think it might have been inhabited before Westeros? Dothraki Sea – Where the Dothraki chill. Not actually made of water. Vaes Dothrak – Dothraki city. We will go there eventually. Jade Sea - ? Asshai by the Shadow  - Weird place. According to the fake history book I have, there are no children in Asshai. The Wall – Huge wall that separates the seven kingdoms from the wild north. Links to Previous Chapters: Prologue Bran I Catelyn I Daenerys I Eddard I Jon I Catelyn II Arya I Bran II Tyrion I Jon II Daenerys II Eddard II Tyrion II Catelyn III Sansa I Eddard III Named Character Death Count: 5* *I am not counting anyone who died before the events of Game of Thrones. So anyone who died in previous rebellions will not be included, e.g. Rhaegar Targaryen, Lyanna Stark, Brandon Stark, etc. 

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Unreailstic expectations and other nonsense

"Being musty is not a blessing" "i'm the ass flap" Trembling loins.  Trump loins.   (Snuggy thoughts!) 1Ball+Unranus ... new boy band?  Sounds like they are headed in a New Direction.... NO UNICORNS?! "His don't dangle excessively" (we need a 'danglegram' to fully appreciate the angle of said dangle) "The Karma train is a sin?" There is more than one Bread Guy on tindr, apparently. And Unicorns are a sin.   Just sayin'.  

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

 

The Phantom Tollbooth Reread: Chapter 16

Chapter 16: A Very Dirty Bird Milo climbs the stairs to infinity, but eventually collapses. As he begins talking to himself, half of a small child starts talking to him. Okay, .58 of a child. The child says that they are the average family, with a mother, father, and 2.58 children. He is the .58. He also says that infinity is a dreadfully poor place where no one can make ends meet. They discuss averages. Milo is confused by some of the examples given to him, such as The boy offers Milo some more advice, namely that even though Milo can never reach Infinity, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth looking for. Milo decides to turn around. A few minutes later he is back with Tock, the Humbug, and the Mathemagician. More great advice: They have some conversation, including a silly letter that Mathemagician sent to Azaz, which is made up only of numbers. Eventually, Milo out logics Mathemagician and gets him to agree to the rescue of the Princesses Rhyme and Reason. The Mathemagician transports them to the edge of Digitopolis by carrying the three (ha!) and the (goddamn it) Dodecahedron has Milo’s gifts. He hands over the gifts of sight, sounds, and words. Mathemagician gives Milo a gift as well, a “magic staff” which appears to me to just be a pencil, but whatever, I’ll go with it. The trio takes off into the Mountains of Ignorance. They climb and it gets darker, but not darkness from night. It’s a “mixture of  lurking shadows and evil intentions which oozed from the slimy moss-covered cliffs and blotted out the light” Milo wonders if they should wait until morning, and a voice replies that “They’ll be mourning for you soon enough.” The voice belongs to a filthy bird who “looked more like a dirty floor mop” Milo says something in reply about looking for place to spend the night, the bird makes another gosh-darn pun, and I slam my book shut. (Just Kidding!) The puns go on for a bit, finally Tock (the dog of reason) asks the bird if he has to be like that. And the bird answers in the affirmative. He is the Everpresent Wordsnatcher, and he is from a far away land called Context. He is not a demon, only a nuisance, and he flies off. The next character we come across is a well dressed, friendly man with no face. He asks the trio for help with some small tasks, and they cheerfully agree. He asks them to move a mound of sand with some tweezers, move a well with an eyedropper, and crave a hole in a cliff with a needle. For some reason, the trio works on this for hours before the chapter ends. *For some reason, the text has percent written as per cent.   Thoughts:  We are finally in the Mountains of Ignorance! Milo will be faced with a series of demons and then will go to the Castle in the Air and meet the princesses! There is a lot of interesting stuff coming up, and I think this chapter and the one before it have some of the best quotes about Milo and learning things. But alas, I can't just copy and paste the entire chapter into a blog post, so I just have to "recap" it.  The Everpresent Wordsnatcher says something about knowing the Humbug. That makes sense, because the Humbug uses a lot of words to say very little and represents people who do the same. Tock is still the most reasonable character here, being a pretty good opposite of the Humbug. Milo is still learning. But he's learned a lot and that is reflected in his conversations with the "Mathemagician."  LINKS: Chapters 1 & 2 Chapters 3 & 4 Chapters 5 & 6 Chapters 7 & 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapters 14 & 15  

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

A Game of Thrones Reread: Eddard III

Chapter 16: Eddard King Robert overstays his welcome at Castle Darry. Characters Present: Eddard Stark: AKA “Ned.” Lord of Winterfell, Hand to the King, Warden of the North. Vayon Poole: a steward for the Starks. King Robert: The drunken king of the seven kingdoms. Not really suited for the actual duties of being a king. Cersei Lannister: King Robert’s beautiful but horrible wife. Joffrey Lannister: Heir to the Seven Kingdoms. Also quite terrible. Lord Renly Baratheon: King’s little brother. Ser Raymun Darry: Owns a castle a half-day’s ride south of the Trident. The King’s Party is staying at the castle, but the Darry family fought for Rhaegar during the war. Ser Barristan: The Bold. Kingsguard, was also Kingsguard for Aerys, I believe. Why would you want the same Kingsguard? Sandor Clegane: a Lannister bannerman. Willing to murder children.   Location: Castle Darry   What Happens: Arya Stark has been missing for four days. When Jory Cassel finds her; she is brought directly to the king, on Cersei Lannister’s (the awful terrible no-good queen) order. Eddard is heartsick, worried, and furious. The fury is because of Cersei’s interference, of course. When Eddard finds Arya and Jory, they are standing in the center of a room that Robert borrowed from the Darry’s to hold court. Cersei and Joff (with a thick bandage on his arm) are standing next to Robert’s chair. I feel it’s important to note that Robert is slumped over in the chair. Eddard asks Robert why Arya wasn’t brought to him, and the Queen admonishes Eddard for how he speaks to the King. The King tells Cersei to “Quiet, woman” and straightens up in his chair. King Robert apologizes to Eddard, saying it seemed best to bring her(Arya) here and get the business done with quickly. Ned, “with ice in his voice” asks what business, and the loathsome Queen Cersei interrupts again to whine about her unpleasant and sociopathic son being attacked by Arya and the butcher’s boy. The Queen of the Seven Kingdoms claims that Arya’s “animal” tried to rip Joffrey’s arm off. Arya denies this, of course, because it is a lie. Arya points out that Nymeria only hurt Joff a little, and that Joffrey was hurting Mycah. Cersei still claims that Joff told them what happened, and that Arya and the butcher boy beat Joff with clubs while Arya set the wolf on him. Arya denies it again and is close to tears. At this last denial, Prince Joffrey joins in and claims again that he was attacked, this time saying that Arya threw “Lion’s Tooth” into the river. Finally, the “King” tells everyone to shut up, and asks Arya what happened, telling his son to STFU. (Paraphrased.) Arya tells her side of the story, and Sansa enters the hall with Vayon Poole. When Arya got to the point where she threw the sword into the river, Renly Baratheon started laughing. And he laughed some more about “Lion’s Tooth.” Robert tells Renly to leave the hall. Joffrey tells his side. It’s different. The King doesn’t know what to do. Ned points out that Sansa was there also. They bring Sansa forward and she just says she doesn’t know or remember, and that everything happened so fast. Arya attacks Sansa physically, and Jory and Eddard break it up. The Queen claims that Arya is as wild as the animal, and asks Robert to punish her. Robert reminds Cersei that Arya is a child, and children fight. He tells Ned to see that Arya is punished. Robert will also punished his son, himself. Robert starts to walk away when the BITCHFACED Cersei reminds Robert of the wolf. Jory tells the kind that they found no trace of the direwolf. Robert is content to let it go, but Cersei offers a hundred golden dragons to the man who brings her the direwolf's pelt. Robert wants no part of that, and tells her to buy her furs with Lannister money. She also says: Cersei points out that they have a wolf. And the Kind is pissed off and tired, and just kind of over it and tells them to have Ser Ilyn see to it. Ned tells him no, he’ll do it himself. And so, Ned executes Lady. After that is done, he has Jory choose four men to take the wolf’s body north. As Ned goes back to the tower, Sandor Clegane comes back with the body of Mycah.   Thoughts: Everything sucks. Especially the Lannisters. And Robert. I actually almost think Robert is worse. He just sits there and lets the Kingdom he won go to shit because HE is SEVERLY SELFISH and bored and lazy. It’s all so dysfunctional. Renly Baratheon is great! I miss him already. This seems like the beginning of the end for the Eddard/Robert relationship. Although, I would not be surprised if it was shaky well before this. Perhaps after the Rebellion? Maybe the Greyjoy Rebellion? Sansa has the Tully “look” but not the strict adherence to the “Family. Duty. Honor.” words. I never noticed the line where Ned knew Sansa’s side of the story already. Arya needed to hold her temper, but Sansa should have told the truth. She knew what happened, she remembered. It’s an interesting parallel. Eddard led searches for days, and then became heartsick and weary and could barely stand when Arya was gone. Then he was filled with fury, which is a word I more closely associate with Robert, when she was found and taken to psycho bitch Cersei first. Catelyn, when worried about Bran, didn’t sleep for weeks and just became more and more insane and useless. I am glad they found Arya after just a few days. I am also thinking that Arya is Eddard’s favorite, like Bran is Catelyn’s favorite. Do people usually have favorite kids? I bet they and they just don’t admit it. Everything might have just smoothed over, if not for Cersei. She pressed the issue. I wonder if she would have just ramped up her cruelty if Sansa had told the truth. Would Robert have conceded the battle over the wolves? I know the direwolves are symbolic, but this chapter, man. Sansa, the docile obedient, girly Stark, has the obedient, friendly wolf. It is beheaded, on the Lannister’s command. It’s the first, out of all the wolves, to go. They drive Nymeria away (well, we do not know that yet, but Jory and Arya drive her away and tell her to go.) Arya ends up being forced from Westeros. But back to Lady. What does her beheading mean? Is it reflective of Sansa being the one Stark to truly lose everything? Even her name, perhaps, when she is married off to someone? I have no idea. Was Cersei talking about Rhaegar when she said "the kind I thought to wed?"  Characters Mentioned (not present): Jaime Lannister: Leading a search north of the Trident for Arya. Ilyn Payne: The King’s headsman   Links to Previous Chapters: Prologue Bran I Catelyn I Daenerys I Eddard I Jon I Catelyn II Arya I Bran II Tyrion I Jon II Daenerys II Eddard II Tyrion II Catelyn III Sansa I Named Character Death Count: 5*   *I am not counting anyone who died before the events of Game of Thrones. So anyone who died in previous rebellions will not be included, e.g. Rhaegar Targaryen, Brandon Stark, etc.  

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

A Game of Thrones Reread: Sansa I

Chapter 15: Sansa Sansa and Joffrey spend some time together, alone. Characters Present: Septa Mordane: Septa to the Stark girls. Sansa Stark: Betrothed to the Prince. Daughter of Eddard Stark & Catelyn Tully. Auburn hair, young, girly, obedient, dreams of Princes and Knights and Romance. Lady: Sansa’s incredibly well behaved direwolf. Arya Stark: Sansa’s younger sister. Tomboy. Dirty and wild. Takes after the Stark side of her family in looks and attitude. Nymeria: Arya’s direwolf. Wild, like Arya. Sandor Clegane: Guardian of the Prince. Has a burned face. Queen Cersei Lannister: Queen Bitch is more like it. Sansa respects her because she is beautiful and queenlike. Prince Joffrey Lannister: whiny little 12 year old. Terrible, even for a 12-year-old boy. Ser Ilyn Payne: headsman to the king. Creepy AF. Ser Barristan Selmy: Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, councilor to the King. Previously councilor to King Aerys Targaryen. Renly Baratheon: Younger brother to the king. Handsome. Probably too handsome to enjoy the company of women. Lord of Storm’s End and councilor to the king. Mycah: A friend of Arya’s. Son of a butcher. Has a freckled face and thick red hair. Location: The Inn at the Crossroads, Ruby Ford What Happens: Septa Mordane, Sansa, and Lady eat breakfast. The septa does not approve of Sansa feeding Lady from the table, and is annoyed that Arya has not joined them. Sansa covers for Arya but is privately annoyed that Arya is not a nice, docile, little sister. She wishes that Arya would be more like Princess Myrcella. Septa wants Sansa to remind Arya to dress nicely today, as they will be riding in the wheelhouse with the Princess. Sansa plans to tell Arya, but reminds Mordane that Arya will dress the way she always does. Sansa goes to find Ayra, who is trying to groom Nymeria. Nymeria is not having any of that frilly nonsense and Ayra is struggling to get the mats out. They argue a bit. Sansa is excited to be invited to ride with the Princess and Queen. Arya would rather ride and talk to the common folk and hang out at the ford looking for rubies. Sansa doesn’t understand her sister, and Arya doesn’t really understand Sansa. Sansa mentions that she hates riding because you get dirty and sore. Sansa tries to reason with Arya, saying that Arya can not refuse the queen. Arya ignores Sansa, and says that she doesn’t like the Queen, and that Myrcella is a little baby. Sansa, feeling humiliated, turns to go back to the inn. She is upset because she wants everything to be nice and pretty, like they are in the songs. She reflects upon her relationship with Arya and Jon, thinking it would be easier if Arya were a bastard like Jon. She also contemplates how Arya and Jon look alike.   Once Sansa gets back to the Inn/Camp, she is distracted from her thoughts by the arrival of Renly Baratheon, Ser Barristan the Bold, and Ser Ilyn Payne. Renly’s good looks capture Sansa’s attention, while Ser Ilyn Payne frightens her. Sandor Clegane laughs at her a bit, frightening her some more. As she begins to cry a bit, the Queen sends Joffrey to her. “Her prince” tells them to leave her alone, and Sansa thinks he is beautiful. (Gag.) Joffrey tells her that Ser Ilyn Payne had his tongue ripped out with hot pincers by the order of Aerys Targaryen. Because of the arrival of Renly and Barristan, the Queen is unable to entertain Sansa today, and sends her off with Joffrey. Joffrey suggests riding, and Sansa remarks that she loves riding. Joff wants to leave the “dogs” behind, meaning Lady and Sandor Clegane. Sansa asks if that will be safe, and Joff annoyingly tells her that he fights with real steel and shows her his “longsword” named “Lion’s Tooth.” The pre-teens ride around for a while, Joff being reckless. When they needed to eat, the Prince found a hold fast and demanded the people fetch food for him and his lady. They drank wine and Sansa became a bit drunk. Eventually, they find themselves at the Ruby Ford, where Robert Baratheon (Joff’s “father”) killed Rhaegar Targaryen. At the Ruby Ford, Arya and her friend Micah are playing with wooden sticks, pretending to be knights. Joff is an asshole and uses his sword to torment Mycah. He presses his sword into the butcher boy’s face. Arya reacts to this and hit Joff with a stick. Sansa is too slow to stop it. When Joff slashed at Arya with the sword, Nymeria steps in to protect Arya and bit Joff in the arm. Sansa goes to comfort Joff, who treats her with contempt.   Characters Mentioned, not present: Eddard Stark: Lord of Winterfell. Princess Myrcella: Daughter of Queen Bitch Cersei and King Robert. (On paper, anyway.) Jon Snow: ½ brother to Sansa (on paper). Looks like a Stark. King Robert: Is hunting with Eddard Stark. King of the Seven Kingdoms. Killed Rhaegar Targaryen at the Ruby Ford by smashing his chest in with a Warhammer. Now is trapped in an unhappy political marriage and is addicted to alcohol and women. Jaime Lannister: Joff’s “uncle.” He killed King Aerys during the rebellion. Known as “Kingslayer.” Serwyn of the Mirror Shield – character from a song Princess Daeryssa – character from a song Prince Aemon the Dragonknight – character from a song Queen Naery – character from a song Ser Morgil – character from a song   Thoughts: This is such a sad chapter. Sansa is so naïve and young, and such a girl. She is just such a pre-teen girl, with the dreaming of handsome knights and imagining that life will be like the songs. I don’t know what to think about Sansa. She’s just so fanciful and girly. The conversation between her and Arya, with Sansa’s thoughts interspersed is so interesting to me. Sansa just does not understand Arya at all. Arya doesn’t really understand Sansa, because even though she knows Sansa, she still tried to “sell” the day to her. I honestly think that riding around, talking to people, looking for rubies, etc, sounds MUCH nicer than sitting in a stuffy wheelhouse that doesn’t even have windows! But that’s me. I’m sure if it were raining or something the feather pillows and lemon cakes would be nice for a little break. Yuck. Could you imagine the smell? It’s interesting that Barristan and Renly brought Ilyn with them. I wonder what they are meeting with the queen about. I had forgotten how early we meet these people. Lizard-lion! Such a fun word for what I imagine is just an alligator. Speaking of gaters, I saw this the other day. It’s cute! Joffrey is such an asshole. Fighting with the kids, getting Sansa drunk, then saying that he is going to tell his mother! What the hell. Such a little jerk. Arya is pretty badass. First she says, casually, that she doesn’t like the Queen. Then she has no qualms about hitting the Prince in the head with a stick, throwing rocks at him, and finally throwing the Prince’s sword into the river. Why are only Tyrion and Arya willing to stand up to this kid? I love that Sansa feeds Lady from the table. We also saw Jon Snow feeding Ghost from the table. She also corrected Septa Mordane on the direwolf vs dog issue. Haha, Clegane said that the “Starks use direwolves for wetnurses.” Nice. Joffrey SANG to Sansa as they traveled to the Ruby Ford. Why wasn’t THAT in the show.   Links to Previous Recaps Prologue Bran I Catelyn I Daenerys I Eddard I Jon I Catelyn II Arya I Bran II Tyrion I Jon II Daenerys II Eddard II Tyrion II Catelyn III  

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Super sad face

Sorry, there is a problem There was an error joining the chat room. Please try again or contact us. Error code: 5H269/A I know D is on it.  But still, sad face.

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

 

The Phantom Tollbooth Reread: Chapters 14 & 15

Chapter 14: The Dodecahedron Leads the Way Five miles from Digitopolis, the trio comes across a sign at a three-way fork in the road. Because this is no ordinary book, the sign points them in all three directions and gives them the distance to Digitopolis. The distance is given in miles, rods, yards, feet, inches, and half inches. The Humbug suggests traveling by miles, as it’s shorter, while Milo wants to travel by half-inches. Tock is more concerned about which road to take. I swear, the dog is the smartest one of this group. As they argued, another character steps out from behind the sign, talking constantly. He introduces himself as the Dodecahedron. He literally has twelve faces (each one displays a different emotion), because that is how this book rolls. Milo introduces himself, and the Dodecahedron is quick to point out that Milo only has one face. Dodecahedron finds it confusing that all one face creatures are called different things. He tells them that in Digitopolis, everything is quite precise. Milo asks him which road to take. In return, the Dodecahedron gives them a math problem. I think I had a teacher like that in eighth grade. It’s one of those super annoying word problems involving extraneous information about travel times.  After the Humbug shouts out a clearly inaccurate number, and Milo tells the Dodecahedron he’s not good at figures, the (ugh, I have to type it AGAIN?) Dodecahedron gives them another problem, this one pertaining to beaver (hehe) size and the construction of Boulder Dam (sidebar: this book was published in the 60s, well after the Boulder Canyon Project was built and renamed.)   Meanwhile, the Watchdog has managed to completely the fairly easy word problem from earlier and tell them all that all three roads arrive in the same place at the same time. The Dodecahedron tells them he will take them there himself. Milo mentions that all the roads are the right way, then, if they all arrive in the same place at the same time. He is very wrong. He turns spins the sign and all three roads disappear, a new road appearing in it’s place. They bounce around a bit in the car and there is some nice descriptions about the land and the (god damn it) Dodecahedron landing on different faces. Eventually it comes out that Milo doesn’t think numbers are very important.   The Dodecahedron is offended, has a bit of a tirade, and runs into a cave, where men are mining numbers as though they are precious gems. They meet the Mathemagician, who is dressed in a robe covered with equations and a tall pointed cap. He carries a giant pencil as a staff. The Mathemagician shows them some of the numbers that have been mined, and a room full of “trash” which is emeralds, rubies, and diamonds.   Chapter 15: This Way to Infinity Eight miners carry a huge caldron into the cave for lunch. As they eat bowl after bowl of “subtraction stew,” the only felt hungrier. The Mathemagician explains that it’s very economic to only take meals when they are full and eat until they are hungry. Digitopolis obviously has a similar outlook as Dictionopolis, with the horrible food. The Mathemagician pulls out this staff and magically transport Milo, Tock, Humbug, and himself into his office. There, they discuss important things like the concept of infinity and using the proper terms. Lots of word/number play in this chapter. Milo is told that he can find the land of Infinity by climbing some stairs. He takes off, two at a time to try and find it.   Links to Previous Chapters:  Chapters 1 & 2 Chapters 3 & 4 Chapters 5 & 6 Chapters 7 & 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13   

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Short but interesting

SNOWMAGEDDON "I met me husband on whammy" Sex ed Relationship endings "Always go for a 3 way" "Who gets shot at the end?" "Now that you've shown me yours, wanna see mine?" "You punched the bursar?" "Shank him" "My couch pulls out but I don't" Night, folks!

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

 

The Phantom Tollbooth Reread: Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Unfortunate Conclusions Keeping his mouth shut, Milo goes to meet the crowd of silent people. They ask him about the sound, he writes “It’s on the tip of my tongue” and spits it into the cannon. As the group prepares to fire it, Milo suddenly hopes no one gets hurt. Before he has time to think about that, the sound goes flying into the building and the building crashes down. All of the sounds come out at once, and there was lots of confusion. Milo, Tock, and the Humbug go to console the Soundkeeper. The Humbug says the wrong thing, Milo apologizes, Tock reminds her that they had to do it. While she is lamenting the length of time it will take to collect all of the sounds again, and realizing that you cannot improve sound by only having silence, the DYNNE shows up with all of her sounds in a giant sack.   The Soundkeeper invites DYNNE to a night of beautiful music; the DYNNE is horrified and runs off. Milo prepares to leave the Soundkeeper behind. She gives him a package of sounds to use on his journey and tells them they will soon be in Digitopolis. They drive along a shoreline road, watching the beach and sea of knowledge.  Each character makes an assumption, and as they do so, they leap off and disappear. Milo is the last to go – thinking that it couldn’t be a nicer day – and finds himself next to Tock and Humbug on the island. The island looks completely different in person. From the car, it was a beautiful island with palm trees and flowers. Up close and personal, it is covered with rocks and dead tree stumps. Milo asks the first man he sees if he (the man) can tell Milo where they are. The man responds by asking if Milo can tell [the man] who [the man] is. Milo says “you must know who you are” and the man responds with the same level of irritation “you must know where you are” After a conference with his friends, Milo asks the man to describe himself. The man responds with a riddle, and eventually they decide that he is “Canby” (presumably pronounced, “Can be” as he described himself as a bunch of different “can be(s)” (He’s as tall as can be and as short as can be, strong as ... you get it.) Canby tells them they are on the Island of Conclusions and to make themselves at home, as they will be there for a while. Milo asks how they arrived, and Canby tells them that they jumped, of course. Humbug tries to jump back and lands in a heap two feet away. Eight or nine more people have arrived from every direction, as well. Canby tells them that the only way back is to swim. The Humbug tells him that he doesn’t like to get wet. Canby replies that “you can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do.” Milo and Tock decide to swim, and the Humbug protests. They drag the bug with them toward the sea. They swam for what seemed like hours, Tock being the strongest swimmer. They reach the shore and Milo and Tock are completely soaked. The bug is not, and he straightens his tie and remarks that it wasn’t bad at all. Remarks: Milo, Tock, and Humbug “jump to conclusions.” They each made an assumption and have to swim back through the Sea of Knowledge. The Humbug think he knows everything already, so he’s not wet with Knowledge. At least that is what I got. Also, jumping to conclusions has to do with making assumptions before you know all the facts. Milo remarked that the day couldn’t be any nicer, so off he goes. Tock mentions that they have plenty of time, and the humbug thinks that nothing can go wrong. They learn a lesson and off they go! Milo receives yet another gift for the final boss fight. Links to Previous Chapters:  Chapters 1 & 2 Chapters 3 & 4 Chapters 5 & 6 Chapters 7 & 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

A Game of Thrones Reread: Catelyn III

Chapter 14: Catelyn Catelyn fights off an intruder. Characters Present: Maester Luwin: Maester to Winterfell. Bran Stark: Cat’s son. In a coma after falling/being thrown from a high tower. Catelyn Stark: Lady of Winterfell. Suffering from some sort of shock/trauma/general depression Robb Stark: Oldest Stark son, in charge of Winterfell while his father is away. 14 years old. Has the coloring of the Tully Family. Shaggydog & Grey Wind: Direwolves belonging to Rickon and Robb. Ser Rodrick Cassel: Master of Arms Theon Greyjoy: Eddard’s Ward Hallis Mollen: New captain of the guard Old Nan: Tells stories and helped to bathe Catelyn. I think I would like an Old Nan of my own. Location: Winterfell. Eight days after Eddard, Sansa, and Arya left Winterfell, Maester Luwin visits Catelyn in Bran’s room. He asks her to review the books, as the King’s visit has cost a lot. Catelyn, being a grief stricken mother, tries to tell him no. Luwin reminds her that there is no steward, as Poole (sniff) went south with Ned. Luwin also points out the other household things that need to be done, like finding a captain of the guards, a new master of horse, etc. Catelyn says she would slaughter all of the horses if it would open Bran’s eyes. Robb, being the dutiful son, steps up and offers to take over the appointments. After he dismisses Luwin, he tries to talk some sense into Catelyn. She’s not doing anything useful by sitting in the “sickroom,” and Rickon needs Cat more right now. So does Robb. She notices that he is only 14 and wants to get up, but can’t. The wolves start to howl, and Robb opens the window so Bran can hear them sing. Catelyn, not being a Stark, freaks out and tells them to stop, and to kill them if they must. (GODS Catelyn. You are so not a Stark.) Robb tells her that the wolves will never hurt him, and helps her to bed, promising to shut the window if she sleeps.  She’s barely slept since Bran fell. (This ALMOST makes me forgive her complete lack of usefulness as a person.) As Robb goes to close the window, he notices that dogs are barking and the library tower is on fire. Because Catelyn is singularly focused on her favorite child right now, she feels safe that Bran is safe, and DOESN’T EVEN MENTION RICKON, her youngest child. Mother of the year, right here. She doesn’t seem to be too concerned about the fire, as it won’t reach them in Bran’s room. Robb, realizing that his mother has gone mad, runs off to deal with the fire. Taking the guards, they descend the staircase. Catelyn prays to the seven while listening to the shouts of “Fire,” feels sad about the loss of books, and closes the shutters. There is a man in the room with her when she turns around. The intruder says “You weren’t s’posed to be here” on repeat, and it becomes clear that he is there to make sure Bran doesn’t wake up. The man attacks her, going for the throat. Cat grabs the blade of the dagger (OUCH) and wrestles with him and it. They fight, she bites his hand. And she is saved by Bran’s direwolf (Summer, but Bran STILL hasn’t named him! Come on, kid. Just because you are in a coma doesn’t mean that your dog can’t have a name. Get it together!) In a very gross scene, the dog/wolf that is not yet called Summer licks all of the blood off of Catelyn. Robb, Maester Luwin, and Ser Rodrik come back and find her on the bed with Bran. They bandage her wounds, give her “milk of the poppy”, and take her to her own chambers. There, she sleeps for four days. Waking up, she reflects upon how ashamed she is over her prior behavior, and pledges to be strong. Rodrick Cassel, Theon Greyjoy, Robb Stark, and Hallis Mollen arrive. They do not know who the man is. They found 90 silver stags under the straw in the stable. Catelyn remarks on how her son’s life wasn’t sold cheaply, and explained to the disbelieving men that the assassin was there for Bran. Robb questions this and she asks him to answer his own question. The story takes a paragraph long interlude to describe some food that Cat is not hungry enough to eat, despite the fact that she had JUST demanded her servants fetch it. Rich people. The food sounds OK, and includes a “rasher of bacon,” whatever that is. And a soft-boiled egg which, gross. After our/GRRM’s break for some food porn, we continue the story. Catelyn tells the new Master of Guards that Robb is in charge of Winterfell, because OBVIOUSLY the adult in this situation is not capable of making decisions. Robb has guards posted around Bran’s room, and the guardsman leaves. The remaining people in the room – Ser Rodrick, Theon, Robb, Cat, Luwin discuss the blade that the assassin carried. It’s Valyrian steel. Theon claims that Lord Eddard is like a second father to him. (LYING CREEP) They all take an oath and Cat shares the secret of the letter – how Lysa believes the Lannisters murdered Lord Arryn. She also points out that Jaime Lannister did not join the hunt the day that Bran fell. Catelyn does not think Bran fell from the tower, but was, in fact, thrown. Way to go Cat! You know suspect what we, the reader, have known for a while. Rodrick Cassel thinks that even the Kingslayer would flinch at the murder of an innocent child. They discuss the likelihood of Bran falling on his own. During the conversation, Robb draws his steel sword and is admonished by Ser Rodrik. Catelyn is surprised and pleased that her son is all grown up with a grown up sword. You couldn’t have graduated him to a real sword a few weeks ago? Before the whole Joffrey thing? No? Cat decides she must go to King’s Landing to look for proof in regards to Bran being defenestrated. It is decided that she will go alone, with only Ser Rodrik. They will not be taking the King’s Road, either. They will be going on a ship and plan to arrive before Ned and the King. Characters Mentioned, Not Present: Ned: Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell. Hand to the King. Married to Catelyn Stark, née Tully. Father to Robb Stark, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Bran Stark, and Ricken Stark. Brother to Benjen Stark of the Night’s Watch. Fostered under Jon Arryn, along with King Robert Stark. Younger brother of the deceased Brandon Stark. Has a sister who is also deceased, Lyanna Stark.   Steward Vayon Poole: Went south with Eddard. Hullen – Master of Horse, rode South with Eddard Rickon: Youngest Son of Cat & Eddard. 3 years old. Has the Tully coloring. Confused and lonely, as his mother is completely useless and his sisters and father have gone south to King’s Landing. Sansa Stark: Cat’s elder daughter, also has the Tully coloring. Hodor: A stableboy Lysa Arryn née Tully: Cat’s sister. Widow of Jon Arryn. Jon Arryn: Deceased. Former Hand of the King. Jaime Lannister: Also known as Kingslayer. Loves his twin sister a lot. Locations Mentioned: King’s Landing White Knife White Harbor Riverrun Thoughts:  This was a hard chapter to read and recap. I understand and accept that one of my many faults is what can best be described as a lack of empathy, especially for people and characters I find annoying or not very strong. Now, it's not that I don't care or feel for someone who is going through a hard time. It's not that I don't want to hear about it. It's that some people tend to appear to use their very tragic incident or whatever as an excuse to avoid their obligations. In this chapter, Cat hasn't slept. She hasn't done anything beside sit next to her son, Bran, and worry. This is not a productive use of her energy, especially when she is in charge of her other children. She is also in charge of Winterfell, and all of the lands and people and smallfolk and livestock and gardens that go along with that. If she can not handle that responsibility because of great personal loss, she needs to appoint someone else. Not yell at her subordinates and refuse to acknowledge her other children. Furthermore, the  Maester, who I guess is trained in some sort of healing art, has said that Bran will likely live. Cat's grief is leading her to be completely useless and that is very difficult to read. Furthermore, this chapter seemed longer that the last 13. I believe I started typing almost a week ago.  Beyond my being uncomfortable with Cat at this time, there were a few other things.  Theon is in Winterfell. This SUCKS for Robb. If Balon Greyjoy chooses to rise up in rebellion while Ned is in King's Landing, Robb will be called on to execute someone he treats like a brother. This sucks for Theon, too.  Also, the library burned down. Tyrion has some books with him, but all that Westeros History. *sniff*  I like how the wolves are keeping Bran strong, and Robb seems to really "get" that.  I am sad we will never have a Robb POV.    Links to Previous Chapter Recaps: Prologue Bran I Catelyn I Daenerys I Eddard I Jon I Catelyn II Arya I Bran II Tyrion I Jon II Daenerys II Eddard II Tyrion II  

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

 

Mish Mosh

Mountain lions/raccoons/bears near homes Affordable college Political chat Chafing relief Alligator nuggets "One of them looks like a giant sperm" 4.8 EQ in AK Broom maneuver/elevator cheat for the FitBit Star Wars Curling (the sport, not the rollers)

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

 

Sizing and Herbs

The vajayjay is not a storage area Herbs in "there" for a week at a time  ---WTF First time tampon insertion stories Menstrual cups Boobs and a scalp are up to the highest bidder Consulting a demigod Poops Tupelo Honey Spiral away! Lysol douche "I love the smell of pussy" "Boobs are stupid" "Cute bras lie ahead" Dick mount.  Nope, not googling "Double boobies" Bra sizing "American sizes are all crap" Vanity sizing WM people watching Night, everyone! 

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

 

Boobs, glorious boobs

Boobs "It was knife to see you, Spoon" Nipples falling off Mamoplasty MOM LOVE Bras, even sheepdog bras! We all need to work on our grifting skillz "Breaker, breaker" Care.com = where you discover your nanny has rum cake planned for your toddler's snack Hip hop fish and chicken Breathing orgasms Bleakage OZ boobs twirl in the opposite direction (WOW) Bruised semen (.....AND THAT WAS JUST PAGE ONE) Colorist surgeons "My chat disappeared my chat disappeared' = panicatthedisco...   Breathe "Gi Gers nap cookies" Weather Wedding gowns Shank him with an underwire! A pie table.   MMM pie. Where IS the pie truck? Nasty pie talk. Pearl clutching noted at 10:35 Central Cake v pie Easy Bake Ovens "Chat Choir" sings 'Soft Kitty' to FS [email protected] December made it complete! Taco Soup Celebrity deaths Great relationships with parents 'Kar-Trashdians' Good night peeps  - this was fun!!  xoxo  

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

 

Fundies, food and Sims

Fundie Jews RV living Moron Mormon Sims Fundie living conditions Tomato staking - not just for the garden anymore! Sweet corn v. just "corn" "PA is quite haunted" Eye makeup Pen pals Stopped up drains = hair = ick Food, again F3 Learning to knit Baby names Charlotte's Web Long distance relationship issues Dating sites Night!!!

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

 

Game of Thrones Reread: Tyrion II

Chapter 13: Tyrion Tyrion travels north and talks with Jon Snow.   Location: The Kingsroad, north of Winterfell, south of The Wall.   Characters Present: Tyrion Lannister: A dwarf, two different colored eyes. Benjen Stark: Eddard Stark’s brother serves in the Night’s Watch.  Not a fan of Lannisters. Jon Snow: Eddard Stark’s “bastard.” Traveling to “Take the Black” aka, pledge to protect the realm.  14. Yoren: Stooped and sinister. Has a beard. Brother of the Night’s Watch. Has a “twisted shoulder” and a sour smell. He is dirty and greasy, with patched old unwashed clothing. Morrec: One of Tyrion’s men.   Recap: Tyrion travels north with Benjen Stark and Jon Snow. We get a bit of world building. Lots of descriptions as the weather & ground grow colder. The trees get darker, and Tyrion feels unsettled by Ghost, Jon’s direwolf. Benjen, Jon, Tyrion, and two unnamed Lannister servants/men meet up with Yoren and two peasant boys from the fingers, who are “rapers.”  They also were bringing twenty horses and a cage of ravens from Winterfell to the Wall.   Tyrion has brought his warmest clothing, but it is still not warm enough, and he borrows a riding fur from Benjen. We learn that the Lannisters never decline, graciously or otherwise, they take what is offered.  Tyrion, despite the gymnastic skills he showed us in a previous chapter, is too hobbled and small to be useful. So he goes off to read every night while the other men create shelter and feed the horses. Nice.   Tyrion has taken some books from the Winterfell library as well. One is a book on the history and properties of dragons. He reads about the properties of Dragonbone. He (I guess?) reflects back on the time he first came to King’s Landing and sought out the remains of the dragons. King Robert had banished the skeletons to a cellar but Tyrion found them and was amazed by them. There were 19 of them, the largest being Balerion, large enough to swallow aurochs whole, the smallest being the size of Mastiff skulls.   We also get a little Lannister / Westeros history. I’m not certain if it’s relevant or just more world building. King Loren of the Rock & King Mern of the Reach (when the Seven Kingdoms were kingdoms and not provinces) joined to try and fight Aegon Dragonlord. They lost, despite having more numbers. King Loren lived, pledged fealty to the Targaryens, and beget a son.   Jon Snow asks Tyrion why Tyrion reads so much. Jon Snow is not what we would call an academic. This won’t be the last time he questions why people read. Tyrion, however, decides to answer him honestly and asks Jon to “Look at me and tell me what you see.” Jon, of course is suspicious and polite, and answers with Tyrion’s name. Tyrion points out that he, Tyrion, is a dwarf. Tyrion points out the many problems he has with being a dwarf, from needing special equipment to ride a horse, to his arms being too short to make a swordsman. He also points out that his father was Hand to the King that his brother killed. He ends this monologue by saying that his mind is his weapon.   They talk for a bit. Tyrion thinks that Jon has the Stark face, and that whomever Jon’s mother is, she left little of herself in her son. (L+R=J) To further the L+R=J speculation, the conversation drifts toward dragons. Jon points out there are no more dragons. Tyrion talks about how he dreamed of riding a dragon and watching his sister and father burn.   Jon looks horrified at this, and Tyrian questions him, prodding into Jon’s insecurities about Lady Stark, Robb, Winterfell, and the Wall. Jon gets upset and is close to tears. Tyrion feels guilty and goes to pat him on the shoulder when Ghost attacks Tyrion.   Jon forces him to ask nicely, and when Tyrion does, Jon calls of the wolf. They return to camp.   Characters Mentioned:                  Robert Baratheon Eddard Stark Aegon Targaryen: Unleashed dragons on the Seven Kingdoms of Old. Balerion, Meraxes, Vhaghar: Targaryen dragons King Loren of the Rock: Lannister ancestor. King Mern of the Reach: Joined Lannister ancestors to oppose Targaryen conquest.     Other Locations Mentioned: Winterfell King’s Landing Summer Isles Casterly Rock – Where the Lannisters come from. Port of Ibben – hairy mammoths said to roam the cold wastes here.     Thoughts: This is another chapter where the majority of the “action” is just a dialogue between two people. I’m beginning to see GRRM’s television roots in this book. I enjoyed the bit of Westeros history this time around. I don’t think I ever noticed it before. Another “shout-out” to Jon’s very Stark-like appearance. I like the interaction between Jon & Tyrion. Tyrion wasn’t too upset at the humiliation and before he was attacked he was on the verge of apology. Jon really isn’t into the reading, and he’s got a bit of a temper. I don’t know if Tyrion will ride a dragon. But I do know that this passage about Tyrion and dragons is cited a lot when people talk about Tyrion being a dragon rider. I do wonder if this dreaming of fires and dragons is just normal Westeros boy stuff, or if it has something to do with the stuff about Aerys and Johanna in TWOIAF. I wonder who those two raper boys from the fingers that Yoren is bringing to the Wall are. Jon is showing signs of maturity by the end. “It is what it is.” Poor Jon. Will Tyrion lose his intelligence? He lists people’s strengths, and the people he listed have lost their strength. Robert’s Warhammer won’t do him any good. Jaime loses his sword hand.   Or just coincidence? What is the point of “conquering?” Burning people alive with dragons for what? For some reason, I was surprised that Jon shared a tent with Benjen. And Benjen was kind of Uncle-ly toward Jon in their interactions.    Links to Previous Chapter Recaps:  Prologue Bran I Catelyn I Daenerys I Eddard I Jon I Catelyn II Arya I Bran II Tyrion I Jon II Daenerys II Eddard II

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae



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      Went to a writer's group meeting yesterday.  First time I've gone to this group's meetings.  Different from other groups I've participated in - this one was a series of prompts and exercises.  I was in a bit of a mood going in - Father's Day weekend for a recent widow is no laugh matter; several social/annoying things happened at Shabbat service in the morning, and one of our service leaders made a "somebody really should" statement of the writing variety and once I hear someone say "someone really should" I usually can't unsee the idea until I've had a try at it.  We did a word association map for one exercise, then wrote something based on part or all of the word map.  I picked a section of the map that had some references to knives and fancy dress balls to write from.  I'm pretty proud of what I wrote in 15 minutes but it's pretty clear that I was in a "mood."
       
       
      The night of the long knives came and went as a plague on the first born of the land.  Men perfectly healthy went to bed only to be jerked from sleep with knives against their throats.  Here were the leaders of men, thrust against walls at the point of a stiletto, there the young men only following their orders, and over there again the family men who didn't exactly plan to pursue this path but perfectly content where they'd found themselves.  At the end of a blade, deep in the depression years, taking their payslips home at the end of the week feeling they'd done a good job, and a little extra for mother in the kitchen. The years of children, church, and kitchen. The good women. Most of them not owning a fancy pair of shoes or a party dress, for who had time?  The children needed their mothers at home, the men away at work.
      The children of course, were not silent.  Soldiers burst into their homes, dragged their fathers out of bed.  Mothers clutching their husbands, children wailing for their papas. The ones who understood left quietly, reassuring the children on their way out - it's a special exercise, I couldn't know about it beforehand, otherwise I would have told you.  Hush child, I'll be home in a few days. They knew they'd be lucky to make it to the end of the block, of course, but let the children hope for a little bit longer, before all hope fell away and their eyes opened to the hatred their own fathers had taken part in.
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