NJMom

Zack Bates courtship over?

42 posts in this topic

I was looking at Duggars Without PIty today, and somebody had posted they'd asked the Bates on their website a couple of questions about Zack and Sarah courting, and all of the questions had been removed and not answered. I don't check out the Bates site very often, but has it been a long time since anything was mentioned about Zack and Sarah? Is it possible that the courtship is over? I wonder how their community feels about that, especially following the self righteous "Duggar Dating Rules" shows that the Duggars have shown when Josh and Anna were courting and got engaged. Has anybody heard anything else? Also, when is the Bates show going to air on TLC?

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I don't have any info about the courtship, but those two seemed so awkward together. I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't work out. For me, that courtship footage highlighted the pitfalls of keeping kids so isolated from their peers. Zach was as nervous as a 12-year-old going to his first seventh grade dance, but he was in his TWENTIES. It'd hard to imagine such a socially stunted young man being ready for a serious relationship, let alone marriage. Sarah also looked quite uncomfortable.

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Well, they do have the TV show starting... wonder if this'll be a "story arc"?

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Zach was as nervous as a 12-year-old going to his first seventh grade dance, but he was in his TWENTIES. It'd hard to imagine such a socially stunted young man being ready for a serious relationship, let alone marriage. Sarah also looked quite uncomfortable.

I felt akward watching them!

Maybe they are getting married (!!) and the questions have been deleted so nothing gets spilt before it's shown on TV

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The bates have pretty much shut down all PR in advance of the TV show, so I don't think it's indicative one way or the other.

"You'll have to tune in and see!"

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Is it mean of me to get a tiny bit of pleasure in the idea of failed courtships? it proves how stupid the system is as well as delay these people breeding even longer... Less breeding time means fewer little fundies.

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I am sure the party line is going to be "watch the show and find out".

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I was looking at their websites. The photos of Zach and Sarah are still up on the Bates site. The Reith website is really just about their band. I sort of watched the episode, but I don't remember all the details. Did Zach give Sarah a ring or is this just the "getting to know you" and we get engaged and I give you a ring later thing?

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Is it mean of me to get a tiny bit of pleasure in the idea of failed courtships?

Nah. I get a tiny bit of pleasure out of it too, because most fundies are so damn smug about it being the only correct way to find a spouse. Unless it's their own failed courtship, and then it's totally okay, because there was a perfectly good reason it had to end.

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I think they are holding back for the show. I remember Kelly saying Zack had to finish his "college" before marriage which was at least a year out. I have always wondered how they would work out his strong ties to his local area and her traveling music career?

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Yeah, I vote that they are saving details for the show.

It's probably the biggest story they've got, and Kelly has becomemheaps less forthcoming on the blog since the show was announced.

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So how is this in any way shape or form different from ending a dating relationship? Did he not start a relationship aiming towards marriage? Did he not invest parts of himself in it?

WHAT'S THE BIG TOOTIN' DEAL?

::head explodes::

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So how is this in any way shape or form different from ending a dating relationship? Did he not start a relationship aiming towards marriage? Did he not invest parts of himself in it?

WHAT'S THE BIG TOOTIN' DEAL?

::head explodes::

Calling it a courtship magically protects your heart from losing pieces.

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Calling it a courtship magically protects your heart from losing pieces.

Because romantic love is finite. But parental love multiplies and can conquer anything, so anyone who limits their family size because they can't handle the emotional needs of an indefinite number of children is just a dirty rotten liar.

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Calling it a courtship magically protects your heart from losing pieces.

It's not really the heart they're trying to protect...it's the vagina!

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It's not really the heart they're trying to protect...it's the vagina!

I think you misspelt control. :whistle:

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Because romantic love is finite. But parental love multiplies and can conquer anything, so anyone who limits their family size because they can't handle the emotional needs of an indefinite number of children is just a dirty rotten liar.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

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I am sure the party line is going to be "watch the show and find out".

That is my guess. Its probably going to be a very special episode of the Bates religious zealotry.

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This whole "we chose a courtship path" annoys the hell out of me. It's perfectly okay for a courtship fail because "God had other plans for you", yet they pressure children in waiting for the one "God has intended for you." How does that work then? Are they claiming God can make mistakes then? So stupid how if a relationship fails, it's because they chose to "date", but it's okay a courtship fails since God is thrown into it.

I chose my current boyfriend of 4 years. My parents, especially my dad, did not have any input on whom I will and will not date. Yes, he gave me very helpful advice when I got to that dating age but that's it. After about a year of dating, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. If he saw a really bad flaw in him, I told him to tell me. My reasoning behind having him meet my parents was so they could get to know him and develop a relationship with them (I'm very close to my parents, that's why). My dad is really close to my boyfriend now, so much so that if my dad is concerned about anything, the second my boyfriend texts my dad, the tension is gone and my dad is okay.

When it comes to the daughters, fundies make it sound like as if God is the one who is leading the women to these men, when in reality, the father has the ultimate say in it. I don't know, for some reason, the clip of Zack asking Sarah to be in a courtship relationship with him was just beyond awkward. If nobody knew what was going on, you could have easily thought he was about to propose to her.

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Because romantic love is finite. But parental love multiplies and can conquer anything, so anyone who limits their family size because they can't handle the emotional needs of an indefinite number of children is just a dirty rotten liar.

Ahh. So the emotional pain of a courtship is healed, because it's all arranged by the parents... we begin to see a theory testimony of the science faith of courtship chattel.

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Maybe we should ask Baylee, being the bates' bff and all.. :roll:

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I have such a hard time understanding their logic when it comes to courting instead of dating. I guess it's just they really push the whole gaurding your heart thing so when they finally do start courting someone there is so much pressure and so many hopes, dreams and expectations hanging on it all working out that it has to be utterly devastating when it doesn't. It just sets them up for heartbreak in a way that regular dating doesn't. Normal young adults their age go into a relationship thinking I'm for whatever reason attracted to this person and with a lets see where things take us attitude. They don't go into it with the expectation that this is "my one and only handpicked for me by God, and stamped with daddy's seal of approval so we are totes in love and going to get married and have a dozen plus kids and live happily ever after." Normal young adults don't go into a relationship with such high expectations which in a way to me at least is a better way to gaurd your heart to realize not all relationships end in marriage. The whole marrying the very first person you've ever been in a relationship with then rushing through the engagement so as not to commit a sexual sin brings to mind the old saying about marry in haste repent at leasure, I wonder how many fundies find they can't stand their spouse shortly after saying their I dos

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I think they are holding everything interesting back for the show.. I hope their courtship didn't fail. I don't like the whole idea behind it, but I think a failed courtship is especially for the girl really bad. It is like a stain on her purity.

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I looked at HER family's blog and nothing there either. I think it's all just a re-run of the Duggars--Zach will get married, we'll see them pack tons of stuff, go on whole family field trips appropriate for about age 7, see Mom and Dad kiss too much, etc. Likely see Zach in "action" as an elected official, see them slice up trees, etc. Nothing new at all will take place---just a different family doing it.

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I was looking at their websites. The photos of Zach and Sarah are still up on the Bates site. The Reith website is really just about their band. I sort of watched the episode, but I don't remember all the details. Did Zach give Sarah a ring or is this just the "getting to know you" and we get engaged and I give you a ring later thing?

Maybe Sarah's thinking twice about quitting her bluegrass band and her nice life (for a fundie at least, with all the touring and performing she does) instead of settling with Zach in a small shack in Tennessee, where she'll always have 20 people from her hubby's family being in their business. Not counting all the "babysitting" she'd have to do with the Bates younglings from time to time.

Thanks but no thanks.

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