Fundy-lite FB friend: no bikini for my 4-year old

[Feberin]

This is going to sound weird but topless is less sexualizing that a bikini, especially on small children. We're a no bikini family and we're not even fundy-lite. I don't have the body for it anymore. And it's too sexy for kids. That and we're all so fair skinned, we've all gone the swim shirt and board shorts just to cut down on how much sunscreen we have to buy or aloe if we forget. ;)

I agree with you. I wouldn't have a problem with my four year old running around topless (assuming it was either in the shade or evening or she doesn't burn like me) but a bikini seems so wrong especially the ones that have little triangle tops. My husband doesn't burn super easy yet I do so we'll have to wait and see if our future daughter(s) would need a swim shirt and such. My son has my really fair skin so we always do a swim shirt for him.

[NurseNell]

OT on competitive swimwear: Actually for national/international competitions and what not the suits past the knee, and anything above the waist for boys are now against the rules. I assume this is true for almost all levels as the swimming community is pretty constant with their rules. I think it's stupid for things like the Olympics where Speedo gave suits to any swimmer that wanted one, but it makes sense for age-group competition to avoid an "arms race" for faster suits among parents. Don't get me started on this topic, I like to say my family converted from Catholicism to competitive swimming when I was about 9 b/c I stopped going to CCD when it conflicted with swim practice. But those suits do feel amazing, I'd love to get to wear one too, if I had some money to burn.

8-)

It's been 20 years since my daughter swam competitively, medaled at state, qualified for nationals but gave up swimming for a more balanced life. Now her daughter is starting. Don't you just love competitive swimming?! I'm so glad to be going to meets again, I've missed that world. If I win the lottery I'll buy you a suit, if you win you buy me one. ;)

[Boogalou]

Princesses do indeed wear bikinis. You should tell that facebook friend that Kate Middleton, Princess Di, and Princess Beatrice have all worn bikinis and you have no idea what they are talking about.

[saraelise]

I hate bikinis on little girls (pre-pubescent) simply because why would they need to cover up their nipples? Especially babies who don't have any idea of modesty.

ETA: hate might be a strong word. I don't get it, is all.

[camdendayton]

It's been 20 years since my daughter swam competitively, medaled at state, qualified for nationals but gave up swimming for a more balanced life. Now her daughter is starting. Don't you just love competitive swimming?! I'm so glad to be going to meets again, I've missed that world. If I win the lottery I'll buy you a suit, if you win you buy me one. ;)

Sounds good to me :) I have a count-down for the Olympics, and I might just go to my mom's for the week so I can watch it 24/7 and not drive the BF crazy (who has to put up w/ nonstop swimming talk at family get togethers, as I'm the *least* into swimming of my and my brother's girlfriend's family! (They're both coaches!))

[Cannelle]

Princesses don't wear bikinis?

WRONG.

Princess Bea- http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Jqgj9XPpb7I/T ... 5B1%5D.jpg

Princesses Caroline and Charlotte- http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/0 ... 68x696.jpg

Princess Eugenie- http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/04/ ... 68x544.jpg

Princess Madeleine- http://images.werdyo.com/2010/09/19b/pr ... ini-10.jpg

Princess Stephanie- http://www.vanishingtattoo.com/images/t ... bikini.jpg

I could go on, but you get the point.

[Stickers]

Bikini tops aren't needed on anyone really, but it's the cultural norm in the west. I wore bikinis (and one pieces) when I was a kid and I doubt I would have been okay with going topless. If someone tried to make me I would have passed on swimming (and I love swimming). Because no adult women I knew did that.

[camdendayton]

Princesses don't wear bikinis?

WRONG.

Princess Bea- http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Jqgj9XPpb7I/T ... 5B1%5D.jpg

Princesses Caroline and Charlotte- http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/0 ... 68x696.jpg

Princess Eugenie- http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/04/ ... 68x544.jpg

Princess Madeleine- http://images.werdyo.com/2010/09/19b/pr ... ini-10.jpg

Princess Stephanie- http://www.vanishingtattoo.com/images/t ... bikini.jpg

I could go on, but you get the point.

:clap:

[saraelise]

Bikini tops aren't needed on anyone really, but it's the cultural norm in the west. I wore bikinis (and one pieces) when I was a kid and I doubt I would have been okay with going topless. If someone tried to make me I would have passed on swimming (and I love swimming). Because no adult women I knew did that.

I'm the exact opposite. I don't remember wearing bathing suits until age 5. When I was younger topless was very normal on Danish beaches. It still is in some places, but not so normal amongst younger women. I wouldn't go topless now, but I have no issue with kids running around topless.

[Just_Jane]

I haven't worn a bikini since grade school. It's not like a one piece suit hides anything more than a bikini does at that age. Even when you are older all it does is hide your belly and more of your back.

At 4 I usually ran around outside with the sprinkler on in nothing more than my undies.

[Guest Anonymous]

I agree with TXDuck... for some reason a bikini does seem sexual to me, even though letting her run around bare chested wouldn't. I don't think a tankini would seem sexual either. But to me, a bikini is more of a "sexy" thing that an older girl / woman would wear, as the bra top implies thinking about breasts, which feels a little squicky on a little 4 year old.. I get sort of the same feeling when I see little girls in high heels. In my mind, its more a matter of not wanting to see them sexualized too soon, when they're too young to even understand what it means.

[SpeshulTaterTot]

I'm the exact opposite. I don't remember wearing bathing suits until age 5. When I was younger topless was very normal on Danish beaches. It still is in some places, but not so normal amongst younger women. I wouldn't go topless now, but I have no issue with kids running around topless.

Same here. I spent ever summer in Denmark as a child, and I always ran around in just bikini bottoms or even naked. Nobody cared. I wouldn't now because I have body image issues, but here in Germany, you see topless women or even completely naked people in almost every park in the summer.

[Artemis]

I'm not fundie light or fundy anything really - and my daughters did not have bikinis either. Topless in the garden (which isn't overlooked) even nude in the garden (when smothered in sun cream if it's hot).

Covered in public, where I don't know who's wandering around, and covered at the beach when out in the sun for long periods because of the cancer risk. T-shirts over swimsuits for more sun protection - and actually you can teach them to hold the swimsuit aside and pee quite neatly, so they don't need to pull a wet swimsuit down.

No sexualised clothing, no logos, writing or advertising on clothing, no animal prints, no camouflage.

I was the fussiest parent on the block . . .

I have a real hatred of clothing that makes little girls look grown up and sexually available.

[darareaksmey]

In general, when my daughter was little, I tried to dress her in what I thought of as kid-appropriate clothing, not just miniature grown-up things. To me a bikini on a small child just looks like you're trying to make her appear like a miniature adult. But I agree that a one-piece is a pain; she always did tankinis. Now that she's a teenager, she wants bikinis, and I can understand. My main problem is sun exposure. She is very dark-skinned so she doesn't need to tan (no one does, I guess; very different from my youth!) but because she doesn't get the burn that her fairer-skinned friends do, it's hard for her to remember the sunscreen.

[camdendayton]

humm... due to all the talk of bikini vs. takini, etc, I did a Google image search for "girl 2-piece suit" as I read "bikini" in the context of the FB post to read something more like the kid-ified 2 pieces I grew up with. These looked more like this:

than this:

Not sure if I would put my (imaginary) daughter in the 2nd in public. Depending on my budget, etc, I might get the 2nd and let her wear it around the house, but I might insist on no. 1 in public.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I don't care for bikini tops on little girls that would look sexy on an adult woman. Tops that consist of 2 triangles (like this) look tacky, in my personal opinion, while something like this I think is just fine, as is a little girl running around topless. I strongly prefer 2 piece suits for my kiddo, for the bathroom reason. I've tried to teach her how to pull the crotch of a 1 piece over like I do to pee without pulling it all down (she has a 1 piece that she loves, but never wears), but it doesn't work and ends up in a mess.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

humm... due to all the talk of bikini vs. takini, etc, I did a Google image search for "girl 2-piece suit" as I read "bikini" in the context of the FB post to read something more like the kid-ified 2 pieces I grew up with. These looked more like this:

than this:

Not sure if I would put my (imaginary) daughter in the 2nd in public. Depending on my budget, etc, I might get the 2nd and let her wear it around the house, but I might insist on no. 1 in public.

It can be really hard to find option #1 in the stores, and if someone stocks them, they go fast! It's frustrating. I ended up ordering a few for my kiddo online last year.

[freejoytoo]

I had a swimming costume most of my childhood and then a bikini from the age of about thirteen onwards. I think I probably ran around the beach naked in toddler years. Is that seen as weird in the US?

[Just_Jane]

I had the more tankini style bikini when I was in grade school. I don't have kids so I admit my ignorance to what is available in stores these days for kids.

[emmiedahl]

I don't mind naked children, in fact I think it is ideal for preschoolers and toddlers. But I have a real problem with bikinis cut to look sexy. My kids dress like children, because they in fact are children. Not all bikinis are sexy, I was just looking at a Hanna Andersson catalog and wishing I had a chubby baby girl I could buy this for:

Hanna Andersson has lots of kid-appropriate swimwear and bikinis, if any of you are in need of that. Once again, the Swedes get it right.

[Eclipse]

Like many posters said I don't mind little girls running around without tops because there is nothing there. The chest of girls and boys at that age are the same, both have nipples but nothing else. If one can run around without a top, so can the other. In theory, I have no problem with little girls in bikinis but its the actual bikinis I see the little girls in that I have a problem with. It seems that the bikini tops these little girls wear only purpose is to sexualize them. The tops I have seen are cups or triangles that outline where the breasts will be. The bikini tops suggest breasts and I have even seen one daughter of a friend at 4 years old wear a bikini top with padding. It was disgusting. Tankinis and larger bikini tops are fine they don't sexualize children the same way because they don't give little girls sexual characteristics that they don't have yet.

I also worry about the little girls in those tiny tops. I have seen some not want to jump into the pool in case the top comes off because its a stringy top. And their young skin is getting a lot of sun exposure to their bellies, which aren't used to it.

[Just_Jane]

now that is just too cute! I love the ruffles.

I don't like the triangle ones and I wouldn't allow my imaginary young daughter to wear one. I find it silly and with ties or hooks I'd think it wouldn't be child appropriate. what if it go stuck on something.

[Spider Burps]

I don't mind naked children, in fact I think it is ideal for preschoolers and toddlers. But I have a real problem with bikinis cut to look sexy. My kids dress like children, because they in fact are children. Not all bikinis are sexy, I was just looking at a Hanna Andersson catalog and wishing I had a chubby baby girl I could buy this for:

Hanna Andersson has lots of kid-appropriate swimwear and bikinis, if any of you are in need of that. Once again, the Swedes get it right.

Oooooh em gee. I hadn't realized how bad my case of baby rabies has gotten! I practically cried at those adorable little baby thighs! I WANT. :pray:

[EmmieJ]

Ay yai yai! That Hanna bikini is absolutely adorable. I love having my son, but I do sometimes feel wistful that I didn't have a daughter as well, so I could dress her in cute things.

In remembering the swim suits my sisters and I had growing up -- they were matching red one piece suits that sagged horribly when they got wet :lol: My mom grew up in the northwest, but she has southern (Alabama) roots. My mom wasn't uber religious but she was very conscious of being a "lady" and raising her daughters to be ladies as well. I.E., ladies, young or older, dress in attractive, flattering, yet modest clothing. (Then she had to raise daughters during the 70's, when clothing styles were all over the map lol)

My main concern with exposing skin is skin cancer. My dad has been dealing with skin cancer for years, so I've seen firsthand the procedures he has had to endure. Thankfully, it's not melanoma. Anyway, I'm very cautious about the sun and doubly so for my child. My son wears the big loose board shorts and tons of sunscreen when we're at the ocean or the pool. I have very fair skin and wear a one-piece suit, a large floppy hat and a swim cover up. (Think Lucy Ricardo when she and Ethel are poolside in Palm Springs. :D )

If I had a little girl, one reason I might not dress her in a bikini is because there are tons of perverts out there. I wouldn't want some creep ogling her. On the other hand, a pervert will still perv, even if it's a child covered from head to toe in a tweed suit. Which would then lead me back to allowing my child to dress in fun, funky, pretty clothes that are suitable to her age and express her individuality.

[littlehouse]

Thanks so much for the photo emmiedahl! I forgot about Hana Andersson. I am looking for suits and those are perfect!