Sister Wife Christine and post partum

[helloemi]

Sunday's Sisterwives made me gain a lot of respect for the Browns. I was so impressed to hear Christine admit to being on antidepressents/anxiety meds after her last baby. I know MANY non-fundies that buy into the stigma of therapy or medication. The more people that open up about this struggle, the less stigma there will be (hopefully).

If only some of our "favorite" fundies (Brandy, Janice...) would get some help and stop flitting between beliefs. Even worse, the fundies with post partum that end up harming their children.

Props to Christine!

[luckylibrarian]

Good for her. That is such a hard thing to admit, especially on national television. I'm surprised Kody allowed her to seek help, though.

[helloemi]

His wives seem very empowered and I recall more than a few instances of him saying they run the house(s). I imagine it would be hard to play total patriarch when you are only at one house 2 days a week max.

I want to believe that the bubbley outspoken wives are for real and not an act for TLC.

He did seem concerned about modesty, but it didn't seem out of line than a "regular" dad.

[Feberin]

He seemed hopeless watching all of the children. I do think he cares about his children but it seems obvious that the wives do the heavy lifting with the parenting. However it was nice that he handled Dayton's difficulty getting his homework completed without punishing him or anything. I think a lot of the fundie fathers wouldn't be as creative and kind in coming up with a solution for a child with aspergers.

[ChunkyBarbie]

I watched that episode too. I was happy too, to see the support emotional and otherwise, that Christine received from the other wives. Many LDS take antidepressants, they don't flaunt it, but they do seek help. Antidepressant use is also very high in Utah. It is hard to strive for perfection, and fall short.

ETA I laughed at Kody being alone with all the kids. At least he acknowledged it was hard for him. He was really good with Dayton. I think Kody is probably a nice man, but he is such a goofball.

[llv]

I really like Christine -- she is cool, and honest, it would seem. :)

I'm not fond of Robyn... I did like her, but she seems more fundy than the rest.

[Nomorearrows]

I think a lot of the fundie fathers wouldn't be as creative and kind in coming up with a solution for a child with aspergers.

I agree. They'd probably say, "where is the ruler? Get on the blanket.. I'm going to 'train' you to do your work!" or prayer closet time.

I'm not fond of Robyn... I did like her, but she seems more fundy than the rest.

I agree. Those born into the belief system (Meri, Janelle and Christine) seemed more open than her. And when I watch, she always seems to get a large say (regarding dating and the youth group for example) in the teens' lives. I imagine that is very annoying for the teens to have a person (who just came into their lives a year ago) decide what you can or cannot do.

[yetanothermeg]

I agree. They'd probably say, "where is the ruler? Get on the blanket.. I'm going to 'train' you to do your work!" or prayer closet time.

I agree. Those born into the belief system (Meri, Janelle and Christine) seemed more open than her. And when I watch, she always seems to get a large say (regarding dating and the youth group for example) in the teens' lives. I imagine that is very annoying for the teens to have a person (who just came into their lives a year ago) decide what you can or cannot do.

Janelle wasn't born into mormon fundamentalism, she was mainstream LDS and converted. Also, her mother converted and married Kody's father as a plural wife. Robyn was born into a plural family.

[Nomorearrows]

Thanks, yetanothermeg. I tend to get them mixed up.

:)

[yetanothermeg]

Sure! I've been interested in polygamists for years and am a big fan of the show. I feel bad about how much weight Meri and Christine have put on since last season. The stress must really be getting to them. I'm a stress eater too so I feel for them.

[helloemi]

I feel even worse for the teenagers. The girls are obviously depressed due to living in Vegas. A few of the teen girls have gained a good amount of weight. The oldest daughter, the only child of Meri and Cody... she has probably gained the most and seems to be having the worst time in Vegas. I don't think parents always catch on to weight gain as a sign of depression, especially if the parents struggle with it as well.

[2xx1xy1JD]

They aren't in the same crowd as Gothard or Dobson, and don't have the same approach to parenting.

OTOH, while it's nice that they behaved like normal people when it came to treating Christine's PPD, you also have to ask to what extent taking a 4th wife contributed to the condition. IIRC, Christine was giving birth right around the time that Kody was getting seriously involved with Robyn. Polygamy doesn't stop women from having normal feelings of jealousy, it just forces them to suck it up. It was pretty clear that Christine wasn't crazy about Robyn joining in, even though she later learned to smile for the cameras. Christine was also the one doing the work at home, so she would have had less support and been more isolated, and Kody wasn't much help since he was off with Robyn.

[NothingLeftToLose]

The weight issues/depression has really bothered me as well - the episode where Janelle was weighed - had her weight announced - and then was reprimanded by the trainer for being obese was the last episode I watched.

Janelle was obviously very humilated and it was hard to watch.

[helloemi]

NothingLeftToLose: You will be happy to hear that Janelle is kicking butt with the weight loss and the others were jealous of how well she was doing. She seems very motivated and happy.

They showed her doing yoga and she looked great! I think they said she was down to 260.

Hopefully I didn't spoil your weekend TV plans :-0

[daharyn]

Also, from the last episode in particular it sounds like Janelle is back at work of some kind--she repeatedly referred to exercising "before work" or "after work." Given how important holding down a job outside the home has been for her, I was happy to hear that she had found some sort of way to satisfy that. One hopes that Christine can also find other cures for what ails her.

I did find the first weight loss episode to be quite difficult to watch, but they have since seemed to turn the new focus on fitness in a slightly more positive direction.

[So Many Lies]

Yes. Non-fundies don't like to admit the whole anti deppresant thing.

And they don't usually have people telling them that making casseroles and having children and praying and endless piles of washing and dishes should make them happy all the time.

It must be hard when so many fundies take the belief that anti-depressants are not necessary (even unGodly) and if you're down then you're not trying/praying/tithing/giving enough.

[So Many Lies]

Sure! I've been interested in polygamists for years and am a big fan of the show. I feel bad about how much weight Meri and Christine have put on since last season. The stress must really be getting to them. I'm a stress eater too so I feel for them.

Personally I wonder if its a side affect of too much JOY. They totally forgot about the Yourself.

...although is that a Gothard principal?

[ChunkyBarbie]

Among the Warren Jeff type polygs the term is Keep Sweet. It is a belief the submissiveness is feminine, tied with a big pink noose, I mean bow.

[So Many Lies]

Thanks... That's exactly what I couldn't remember!

[bea]

I've considered watching the show, but never managed to make it through an episode. Was a big fan of Big Love, though. I've read a number of books on the topic and I hate to say that aside from the whole patriarchy aspect, I could totally get into the idea of a sister-wife, as long as I got to pick her.

A friend of mine from college has three kids (six, four, and two) and I have two kids (four and two). OUr husbands have the same first name and while they don't really know one another, they seem to be in some kind of competition for who can work themselves to death fist. We visit back and forth a lot and are continually amazed at just how much easier five kids and two moms is than three kids/one mom/one absent dad and two kids/one mom/one mostly-absent dad. We've decided that whoever's husband works himself to death first, the widow will pack up her house and kids and join the surviving husband's household.

Our husbands seem fine with this.

Anyway.

I am always VERY VERY VERY OPEN about my PPD, along with telling everyone that gee, I wish I'd known crippling anxiety about the baby was a form of PPD so I could have gotten treatment earlier, when my first was born. I tell strangers in supermarkets, I tell moms at playgrounds, I probably overshare about it on a regular basis. The thing is, though, that except for hearing about it vaguely and having the OB ask if you're "feeling okay," our culture portrays PPD as wanting to kill the baby/yourself or something really drastic. And often, it's not. It's awful and miserable and you feel like a failure as a parent and a human and that there must be something horribly wrong with you and most of the time, you're too ashamed to tell anyone about it, let alone the person performing your six-week gyne checkup, who usually asks about your mental state while s/he has the speculum in (arrgh!).

Then again, I'm VERY VERY OPEN about my crazy in general, because I figure if people know that this nice, normal-seeming middleaged mom has to take one antidepressant and one anti-anxiety medication every day, it might make them feel a little less weird about telling their doctor about their own possibilities of Teh Crayzee. I'm open about the fact that I think the crazy is mostly brain chemicals - no one tells diabetics to man up and force their pancreas to produce more insulin, and if someone tells you to positive-think your way out of major depressive disorder, I think you should kick them in the shins. At least.

[Eponine]

I agree. They'd probably say, "where is the ruler? Get on the blanket.. I'm going to 'train' you to do your work!" or prayer closet time.

I agree. Those born into the belief system (Meri, Janelle and Christine) seemed more open than her. And when I watch, she always seems to get a large say (regarding dating and the youth group for example) in the teens' lives. I imagine that is very annoying for the teens to have a person (who just came into their lives a year ago) decide what you can or cannot do.

I thought Robyn was born into polygamy? I think I remember during the episode where they put the kids in public school her talking about having to hide her family from her friends when she was in school.

But I agree, she seems more fanatical than Meri or Janelle. Christine is pretty fundie about religion, too, it seems, but doesn't cry about it like Robyn does at times.

[ChunkyBarbie]

Robyn was, Janelle wasn't. I am hoping all the crying is hormones and she stops! I know she cried during pregnancy. I can't remember if she cried before.

I thought Robyn was born into polygamy? I think I remember during the episode where they put the kids in public school her talking about having to hide her family from her friends when she was in school.

But I agree, she seems more fanatical than Meri or Janelle. Christine is pretty fundie about religion, too, it seems, but doesn't cry about it like Robyn does at times.

[pixydust]

The thing is, though, that except for hearing about it vaguely and having the OB ask if you're "feeling okay," our culture portrays PPD as wanting to kill the baby/yourself or something really drastic. And often, it's not. It's awful and miserable and you feel like a failure as a parent and a human and that there must be something horribly wrong with you and most of the time, you're too ashamed to tell anyone about it, let alone the person performing your six-week gyne checkup, who usually asks about your mental state while s/he has the speculum in (arrgh!).

This, exactly! I never wanted to hurt my babies or myself, but damn I was terrified that my first would fall out of a window (not sure how, but that didn't seem to matter) and similar fears with the other two. The worst part was being terrified to tell anyone (I didn't tell my mom until my oldest was 2, so at least I knew what was up with the other two!). I think that gynos need to remember that PPD comes in several forms, and that asking "how are you doing" isn't enough, they need to be specific.