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Maxhell Makes Tacos Boring


anjulibai

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1 hour ago, Odd1Out said:

I’m just so glad she said to remove the lid before chopping up the meat. I would have done it completely wrong. 

It really is very sad that she has to write down steps like that because she doesn’t think you would know to do that because I don’t think she would know to do that unless she was told or by watching someone else do it. I don’t think she has any critical thinking skills or common sense. It feels like she is so scared of making a mistake she needs to know every move to make so she doesn’t do it wrong. Therefore she thinks everyone else needs those instructions too. 

there was a time in my life where i needed this level of instruction.  once, my mom asked me to take care of dinner by cooking some frozen fried chicken.  her instructions were:

take the box of chicken out of the freezer and put it on a cookie sheet.  then set the oven to 375.

so i did that, and then went about my business.  half an hour later, my mom went to check on dinner and found the box of chicken resting on a cookie sheet on the counter, and the oven nice and hot at 375. 

yep, i took those instructions literally.  it should be noted that i was nine.

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8 hours ago, CurlyWurly said:

Wow, they have truly outdone themselves on just how dull Titus2 could get. Also classic Maxwell move of completely skipping over the interesting part (what spices to use--they just say to 'make your own mix' or use a packaged one) and then explaining in mind numbing detail, TWICE, how to put meat in a pot and press a button. They killed fun a long time ago and they've now started in on my will to live.

Also one of my pet hates is single use kitchen utensils--Mr Curly calls them 'one use wonders'. 

So of course they had to buy some dumb single use item and shill it with their affiliate link.

The best part for me was when she told us to take the lid off the instapot in order to crumble the meat!  Very helpful!

I agree with Mr. Curly about the single use utensils.  I would just use a fork or something to crumble the meat.

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1 hour ago, kpmom said:

I agree with Mr. Curly about the single use utensils.  I would just use a fork or something to crumble the meat.

Would you mind blogging about your magical utensil multi-tasking tip? I had no idea that a fork could be used in food preparation, as well as in eating.

If a fork performs multiple tasks in your kitchen, how do you know what drawer to store it in??

 

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Why so little  cheese. One can count the shreds of cheese? Is cheese now an idol?

 

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8 minutes ago, Lillybee said:

Why so little  cheese. One can count the shreds of cheese? Is cheese now an idol?

 

Thank you. This was driving me crazy. What is the point of the tiny amount of cheese? Might as well have gone without cheese. The salsa did not look appetizing either. You actually don’t need too much seasoning on the meat if you have a good salsa and I like my salsa touching my meat down the side of the shell then put more on each bite.

I make my taco meat the same way I make my meat for chili and spaghetti. I just throw whatever seasoning I feel like at the time. It is really not complicated and doesn’t take much time. Of course I can’t use the Maxwell recipe because I never use frozen ground beef and I would guess that any deviation from the Maxwell way is not acceptable. Anyway, ground beef may be the easiest meat to cook. A complete novice could do it as there is really no thinking involved.  I don’t even want to know what the Maxwells would do to a poor chicken. 

I wonder if they have ever had chicken tacos or shredded beef tacos. I won’t mention carnitas because I am sure that is a no. 

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4 hours ago, anjulibai said:

They could sew more.

I think Steve felt they, especially Mary, were enjoying sewing too much, so he put the kibosh on that as an activity. It's too bad; they had talent and a closet full of lovely fabrics to choose from so they could sew whenever they wanted. Years ago, as part of the celebration for one of their birthdays, they each sewed a skirt and blogged about it; they looked like they were having a lot of fun. Steve can't allow any joy in the household, even if it's a pastime that should be pleasing to a headship. 

Also, never again will I have toppings on my food. My meals forever more will be embellished. I'm planning on embellishing the heck out of some grilled burgers tonight. When I pass my husband the pickles, I shall say, "Embellishment?" 

Thank you, Sarah!

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My taco "meat" recipe told in Maxwell style

Take one cup of walnuts. Walnuts come in shells, but you wan to make sure that you remove them from the shells or buy them shelled. If you purchase shelled walnuts, make sure you remove the walnuts from the packaging. Place the walnuts in a food processor with taco seasoning. I make my own seasoning, but for unexplained reasons I shall not share. You can use this website called Google.com to find a taco seasoning website. First go to Google.com, then type "taco seasoning recipe" in the search bar, finally hit enter.

Plug in your food processor, Pulse the walnuts and taco seasoning until they resemble ground beef(it kind of doesn't really, but do your best). Do not process too long or you will create taco flavored walnut butter. 

Place the walnut "meat" in a taco shell. There are hard shells, soft shells, dorito flavored shells, shells with flat bottoms, shells shaped like bowls, large shells, small shells, shells made out of white flour, shells made out of wheat flower, shells made out of corn and some people create shells using lettuce leave. You can also skip the shells and place the meat on top of lettuce you have shredded using a pizza cutter. 

Top with salsa, vegan sour cream, and vegan nacho cheese sauce. I will share the recipes for sour cream and nacho cheese in future posts*. I will also take you step by step through the uncomplicated process of cutting lettuce with a pizza cutter.

*these posts will never appear. 

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1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Would you mind blogging about your magical utensil multi-tasking tip? I had no idea that a fork could be used in food preparation, as well as in eating.

If a fork performs multiple tasks in your kitchen, how do you know what drawer to store it in??

 

I only wish I had an Amazon affiliate link so you could buy this magical fork I use and bless my ministry with some money!

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They are so fucking lazy! what are they off doing that they can't sit by the stove and brown the meat? add it to the schedule ffs

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33 minutes ago, freejugar said:

They are so fucking lazy! what are they off doing that they can't sit by the stove and brown the meat? add it to the schedule ffs

well, they do have to dust the ceiling fans.....

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I'm an Australian, so very far away from legit Tex-Mex food (and a vegetarian to boot), but I remember from my meat eating days that I used to start with onion and garlic and toast the spices first in oil to get the flavour out. Meat went in last so as not to overcook it, then usually some tomato paste. Looking back on it now I guess I was half way to chilli con carne but it was so much better than anything the Maxwells could do.

Speaking of, I'm coming up to exams so today I'll be making 12 serves of vegetarian chilli to get me and Mr Curly through the week. @formergothardite, could I trouble you for your elusive vegan sour cream and nacho cheese recipes? I'm off lactose too right now.

Do the Maxwells have any dietary requirements? It seems to me in a family that big there'd be someone with allergies/intolerances. I know that almost everyone in my family has one.

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5 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

Remember when Poor Uriah was destroying local roads in northern Canada?

This reminder made me LAUGH!!!!!!!!  I forgot all about this! Bahahahahah!!!!

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2 hours ago, Season of life... said:

I think Steve felt they, especially Mary, were enjoying sewing too much, so he put the kibosh on that as an activity. It's too bad; they had talent and a closet full of lovely fabrics to choose from so they could sew whenever they wanted. Years ago, as part of the celebration for one of their birthdays, they each sewed a skirt and blogged about it; they looked like they were having a lot of fun. Steve can't allow any joy in the household, even if it's a pastime that should be pleasing to a headship. 

Oh, definitely that's why Mary doesn't sew anymore. She liked it too much and was too good at it to easily. Can't like something too much or be too good at it - that takes away from Jesus. Better to dislike something and be mediocre about, and only do it because you have to for Jesus. 

That's why Sarah writes and Mary now does "art", both of which benefit Steve and his pockets more than they do Sarah and Mary. 

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Okay, first of all, what they have is not an Instant Pot (TM). It's an electric pressure cooker.

Second of all, you can cook frozen ground beef in an electric pressure cooker (linky - I'm not affiliated, just one of the first links that came up in a search).

The time wasted waiting for the ground beef to thaw could be better spent in precious Bible Time. Or writing a post about pizza cutter lettuce.

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7 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

Holy $hit, I have always thought Uriah as a "she" :pb_lol: Now that makes the classic FJ Trio's surprise humping of Uriah more sense to me.

Off to the prayer closet. The fun the Maxwells had in the ‘bus’.....cheese paper gate, the viberating seat, the various breakdowns and fun tasks such as washing him.

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24 minutes ago, Jingerale said:

Okay, first of all, what they have is not an Instant Pot (TM). It's an electric pressure cooker.

It looks like an Instant Pot clone - multifunction cooker that some functions use the pressure cooker.

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15 hours ago, Jinderella said:

You did an amazing job at making a boring post. But then Sarah completly outdid you. She spend a whole page on telling us how to throw meat in an instant pot... 

But did she post about remembering to plug said pot into an outlet? 

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I would eat this meal, which is something I almost never think about the "food" they produce.
 

I do wonder about Sarah preaching about saving time when literally, all she has in her life is time.

 

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The “brown” setting is for browning meat? Funny, I had NO IDEA.

I’m also shocked she said to enjoy several tacos. 

And yes, surely frying the beef in a pan is much quicker than faffing around with an instant pot. It’d make more sense to use the Instant Pot for stews or soups or something. 

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37 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

And yes, surely frying the beef in a pan is much quicker than faffing around with an instant pot. It’d make more sense to use the Instant Pot for stews or soups or something. 

For sure and the pan is much easier to clean.  If you want to start with frozen meat and have dinner in an hour, go instant pot.  Thawing hamburger in the fridge overnight, cook it in the pan.

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Where can I find this video?  I just started dipping into Maxhell.  I wouldn't know where to look for said taco video.  It will be my first boring Maxhell video!  I've been waiting on the Lord to place a burden on my heart to dip.  We'll see if He wants me to stay for snarking.  Thank you in advance!

I went to their website to try and peek at the organization chart.  Wow!  They have a book about the devil being after everyone's first born and how to deal with that, I guess.  W.T.F.   So many books and media. Nuckin' futz.  What is it with the life coach fundies and those who buy this shit?  How much detailed direction do these sorts need?  I'm genuinely confused.

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Da Fuq.  First off, that was tube meat, yeah?  Nope.  Secondly, these people are serious, aren't they.  "Embellishments" that's all you get.  Mentioning the many toppings is of the devil.  At least that's how I see it.  

I'm bored.

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11 hours ago, Odd1Out said:

I’m just so glad she said to remove the lid before chopping up the meat. I would have done it completely wrong. 

It really is very sad that she has to write down steps like that because she doesn’t think you would know to do that because I don’t think she would know to do that unless she was told or by watching someone else do it. I don’t think she has any critical thinking skills or common sense. It feels like she is so scared of making a mistake she needs to know every move to make so she doesn’t do it wrong. Therefore she thinks everyone else needs those instructions too. 

The other possibility is that cooking isn't Sarah's job and hasn't been for so long that she's forgotten how to do it, or never learned. Whenever we've seen her cooking, it's been assisting someone else. That's why the idea of coming up with a recipe/method herself is so obviously daunting. 

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16 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Post topics:

How to Come Your Eyebrows

Ceiling Fan Maintenance With a Joyful Heart

How to modestly change a diaper

How to color in a coloring book

How to clean a sink

Letting Jesus in While Keeping Flies out:  A Guide to Opening and Closing Doors

How to Vacuum

How to Use a Scrubber

Toothbrush Conservation - How to Efficiently Clean Your Teeth

Ways to Chop an Onion

14 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I'd kind of love to kidnap Sarah and take her somewhere like Walt Disney World. It'd be like taking a child for the first time, everything would be an amazing wonder.

I think she'd freak.

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