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Maxhell Makes Tacos Boring


anjulibai

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New post on how to make taco meat....because that's so complicated...

Damn Maxwells, how stupid do you think people are? 

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Using the instapot takes all afternoon when you can just put it in a pan, brown it, add seasoning and water, and then turn to warm while everyone is getting their meat. Bam, 10 minutes! This is a ridiculous waste of time. 

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Wow, they have truly outdone themselves on just how dull Titus2 could get. Also classic Maxwell move of completely skipping over the interesting part (what spices to use--they just say to 'make your own mix' or use a packaged one) and then explaining in mind numbing detail, TWICE, how to put meat in a pot and press a button. They killed fun a long time ago and they've now started in on my will to live.

Also one of my pet hates is single use kitchen utensils--Mr Curly calls them 'one use wonders'. 

2 minutes ago, Howl said:

But back to Maxhell. I think they are going to introduce using a pizza cutter to break apart the meat while cooking up their taco mix.  

So of course they had to buy some dumb single use item and shill it with their affiliate link.

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2 hours ago, anjulibai said:

New post on how to make taco meat....because that's so complicated...

Damn Maxwells, how stupid do you think people are? 

But, but, but, she told us to have "several"!!!!1111!11  I'm clutching my pearls here!

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Holy crap, y'all!!!! Taco shells come in both HARD and SOFT shell versions. And more than one size!!  WAIT TILL I TELL MY RELATIVES IN MEXICO ABOUT THIS!!!!!!

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Today's post.... I can't even....

Tell us what the dog is up to--it's more interesting. Or how to fold t-shirts the Maxwell way.

Dear God an entire post on putting hamburger and a package of salt-laden crap into a cooker? People just aren't this dumb outside the Maxwell home......

Post topics:

How to Come Your Eyebrows

Ceiling Fan Maintenance With a Joyful Heart

How to modestly change a diaper

How to color in a coloring book

Using a spatula

How to clean a sink

 

UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH

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I'm having a hard time trying to decide which is more boring: reading about Maxhell tasteless recipes, or yet another post about a visit to (Aunties') park with the little ones. I am seriously missing the good old Uriah and her ever-breaking windshield.

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I just don't understand....why in the world would they think this was interesting to people? Or that browning ground meat and adding seasonings was just so novel that no one would know how to do it? 

Seriously, they are way, way, way too sheltered if they think tacos is a surprising meal. 

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1 hour ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Dear God an entire post on putting hamburger and a package of salt-laden crap into a cooker? People just aren't this dumb outside the Maxwell home......

 

this blog post might have made sense in, say 1958, or if the Maxwells  lived in, say, Kazakhstan-- but the idea that any of their readers, living in North America in 2018, aren't familiar with TACOS just blows my mind.

Sarah, are you aware that your new SIL Chelsy has friends and relatives living in the State* of Chihuahua**? And she's made many visits there? And maybe she ate tacos while visiting. Perhaps you should shadow her sometime as she cooks, and blog about it.

*Note to Sarah: Mexico has states, just like the US! Actually, its full name is the United Mexican States!  

** Further note to Sarah: Chihuahua is a state, as well as a breed of dog. And, get this--the dog is named after the state!  I'll let you sit down for a while so you can digest all this mind-blowing information. The ceiling fan dusting can wait.

 

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I'd kind of love to kidnap Sarah and take her somewhere like Walt Disney World. It'd be like taking a child for the first time, everything would be an amazing wonder. 

She (and all the MaxKidults) really needs to experience more. Just more. Of everything. More cultures, more lifestyles, more people, more ideas... both the good and the bad.

I cannot imagine how boring their life must be, based on the terribly exciting things they choose to share with us. Maybe Steve is making Sarah leave out anything that might possibly be considered interesting or fun, lest we all make that thing an idol, or sin by envying their incredibly fun stroll to the local park.

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WHY OH WHY do they have to make the simplest task so complicated??? At first I thought the taco meat would be ready to serve for lunch, but no, they let it cook all day from morning until supper. What the hell?!

Someone please relieve Sarah of her bi-weekly blogging duties. Each time I think she hit rock bottom with the shittiest post, she beats her own record with a worse one. 

 

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2 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

How to Come Your Eyebrows

My mind went places very not-Maxwell approved with that suggestion... 

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2 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

I am seriously missing the good old Uriah and her ever-breaking windshield.

His!  Uriah was male!  And definitely the most interesting member of the family.

10 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

WHY OH WHY do they have to make the simplest task so complicated???

Parkinson's Maxwell's Law:  "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."

They have very little to do.  And they are terrible at the most basic domestic tasks.

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10 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

His!  Uriah was male!  And definitely the most interesting member of the family.

Parkinson's Maxwell's Law:  "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."

They have very little to do.  And they are terrible at the most basic domestic tasks.

I have said it before and I will say it again: if they wanted to, they could find more to do. They could sew more. They could research and cook better meals. They could knit. They could refurbish old furniture. They could flip houses. They could garden. All potentially money making ventures, in addition to just being good around the house. 

But they choose not to. Which is the most mind boggling aspect of it. 

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11 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

I have said it before and I will say it again: if they wanted to, they could find more to do. They could sew more. They could research and cook better meals. They could knit. They could refurbish old furniture. They could flip houses. They could garden. All potentially money making ventures, in addition to just being good around the house. 

But they choose not to. Which is the most mind boggling aspect of it. 

Yes, this. So much. I work full time, and have hobbies on top of hobbies. I've heard people say they'd be bored if they retired... heck, I wouldn't! I can't keep up with a tiny fraction of what I want to do, and having that extra 10 hours or so a day to do it in would help a lot. It wouldn't be money making stuff, but I could absolutely keep myself busy no problem. Give me a year off (paid, please, I can't afford it otherwise) and I'd probably still have a long to-do list at the end of it!

I'm just amazed that they don't seem to DO anything but read the bible, clean, pray, and sometimes exercise. The moms with little kids, sure, they're already working full time 24/7 just without getting paid for it. But the adults living at home? Their blog would be a heck of a lot more interesting if they grew some of their own food, tried out new recipes and reported how that went, learned and shared about learning some sort of craft (I'm knitting a ton right now, myself), did ANYTHING at all. They'd probably get some of their conference mojo back if they actually did something useful and mildly interesting to their audiences. Lots of fundies are on an organic kick... let the girls sitting at home learn to garden so they can share what they learn with the people who don't have time to experiment!

It's like they are terrified that if life is the slightest bit enjoyable they'll go to hell for it. 

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@IReallyAmHopewell I know your suggestions were a joke but they got me thinking about how simple a better blog post would be. Example: Mary used to do some cute braided hairstyles- do a post with tips (not ad nauseum, just a few that aren't common) and pics of some of her favorite looks. They won't cause that would be vanity, I know. But silly me, I think there's vanity in the amount of ego masturbation that would lead you to think people want to know what crappy things you assemble with your leftovers.

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Didn't Sarah ask for post topic suggestions awhile ago and there were many suggestions that were much less boring than this one. Come on Sarah! We tried to help! 

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I’m just so glad she said to remove the lid before chopping up the meat. I would have done it completely wrong. 

It really is very sad that she has to write down steps like that because she doesn’t think you would know to do that because I don’t think she would know to do that unless she was told or by watching someone else do it. I don’t think she has any critical thinking skills or common sense. It feels like she is so scared of making a mistake she needs to know every move to make so she doesn’t do it wrong. Therefore she thinks everyone else needs those instructions too. 

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1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

His!  Uriah was male!  And definitely the most interesting member of the family.

Holy $hit, I have always thought Uriah as a "she" :pb_lol: Now that makes the classic FJ Trio's surprise humping of Uriah more sense to me.

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5 hours ago, CurlyWurly said:

They killed fun a long time ago and they've now started in on my will to live.

And this is why I periodically take big breaks from this topic and family!!!!!

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15 minutes ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

Holy $hit, I have always thought Uriah as a "she" :pb_lol: Now that makes the classic FJ Trio's surprise humping of Uriah more sense to me.

I was not part of the very controversial bus humping trio but I can see the temptation.  I forgot to take a photo of him when I saw him, but Uriah was huge, a very manly and Godly bus, and positively sparkled with cleanliness. 

One of my better song parodies on FJ was "And They Call the Bus Uriah" :)

 

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Uriah really was the best member of the Maxwell family. And because of that he found a way to escape. 

If I was going to make taco meat I could do it faster and without making it into such an ordeal. Is Sarah next going to explain how to boil water? 

And if they are really this out of ideas they could always tell us how to cut lettuce with a pizza slicer. 

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Remember when Poor Uriah was destroying local roads in northern Canada? It was such a classic Maxwell moment that I had to have it as my avatar a few years ago. This sounds unnatural but I really DO miss Uriah :pb_sad:

 

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