Maxwell 20: Fun just dies

[nastyhobbitses]

11 hours ago, Sister Mozz said:

That soup sounds disgusting on multiple levels. Two kinds of meat (if little smokies count as meat ), plus roast pork broth? Frozen tomato sauce?!?!

TBF my grandma's meatball recipe is a mix of beef, pork, and veal, and that shit is goooooood. And my dad uses a mix of ground pork and pancetta (well, I guess that's more two ways of preparing the same meat) in his ragu. 

But this soup with zero seasoning or attempts to flavor beyond MEAT (girl throw a mirepoix in there, it takes like 15 more minutes and will add so much more flavor) just sounds bland (with random blasts of smokey sausage) and oddly textured. 

[kpmom]

8 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

I read cookbooks like most people read novels.  Just scored some great Southern Living ones from the 70's today at my favorite thrift - 25 cents each.  

That soup sounds gross and bland.  Where's the garlic?  Where are the spices?  WHERE IS THE FLAVOR?

I guess flavor is a sin.

Oh wow, I bought a set of four Southern Living cookbooks from the 80's from my church's thrift store. I especially like to read their recipes for holiday meals.  I'm going to try some of their side dishes at Thanksgiving I think.

As to spices in that soup, Teri did say she added garlic salt.  That's the same as fresh garlic, right?

Actually, I am a very lazy cook so I shouldn't make fun, but I also don't portray myself as a Titus2 woman and have a blog.

[catlady]

Five or six years ago, I found a leather bound copy of the Fannie Farmer cookbook from 1963.  I made the (mayo-free) potato salad several times; it called for French dressing, so I used the orange store-bought variety.  Everyone who ate it liked it, even though the color was unusual for potato salad. Then, about three years later, I realized I was supposed to use the book’s recipe for French dressing, which is mostly colorless. I haven’t tried it that way yet.....

[Foudeb]

The one thing that really really grosses me out is them wearing their hair down when cooking.

The salmonella casserole? bleargh, certainly nothing to blog about, but it didn't kill them.

"empty your freezer" soup? bleargh, but I've done worse. Sometimes you just need to defrost your freezer and it is wasteful to throw food away.

Titus 2 mother of 8, multiple book author, conference speaker and 30-year homeschool veteran unable to cook a single meal without three adult "helpers"? but hey, chronic depression, let's not snark.

Not taking the time to tie their hair back before handling food though, that's unforgiveable. Hairbands cost next to nothing and it takes all of 0.01 seconds to do a ponytail.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

21 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

Friday's post. Sarah's useless writing tips. 

Or.... how many hands make light work in getting ready for a conference that 12 people will attend.

Or...what a blessing someone is.

Or...how precious some random little child is.

Or...childless girl-women giving child-raising advice like how to stop them eating toothpaste.

Or...a bad photo and an apparently unrelated Bible verse.

3 hours ago, Foudeb said:

Titus 2 mother of 8, multiple book author, conference speaker and 30-year homeschool veteran unable to cook a single meal without three adult "helpers"? but hey, chronic depression, let's not snark.

Not taking the time to tie their hair back before handling food though, that's unforgiveable. Hairbands cost next to nothing and it takes all of 0.01 seconds to do a ponytail.

The Titus 2 Mother, etc. comment--yes to the why so many folks. Yes to depression

Hair--like petting the dog or cat. They are at home. It would be nice, but they are at home.

 

Now, the real snark--how would any of the 3 daughters cope with real life!!!

[Black Aliss]

15 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

have they ever discussed why Lunch is their biggest meal of the day, is it because they sometimes have their married kids and grandkids dropping in or is it another reason?

It's a midwestern thing. Although most people now refer to it as lunch, where in years past, the mid-day meal was always dinner, and the evening meal was called supper.

And, Steve, please tell your retired homeschool teacher that inanimate objects complement, not compliment, each other.

[grammyj]

Absolutely ,totally agree with Foudeb's comment about the women cooking with their hair all over the place. it grosses me out beyond all belief. I wear a kerchief or a hair net when I'm in the kitchen and so do my little granddaughters when they are helping.

You see this in so many fundie blog pics. Why???? You couldn't pay me to eat at the Maxes tho NR Anna usually looks OK. And theDuggers!!! Ewww and ewwww. Is it a fundie thing or something?

[freethemall]

Who the heck mentions an ingredient (frozen tomato sauce) in a list of recipe ingredients but then removes it from the recipe? Why even mention it?

That looks DISGUSTING

We need to have an annual Disgusting Fundie Food Contest. What with Maxwell soups and casseroles, Jill Dill's canned chicken, and of course the infamous Bro Gary pink weenies there's a lot of strong contenders.

[anniebgood]

What is that frozen lump in the middle? Is that broth? Jesus what a disgusting mess. 

 

[catlady]

yes, the thing in the middle is the frozen broth; i thought it was a gelatinous cube of melted pig-hoof when i first saw it.  

i have long hair, and i never leave it down during any kind of food prep.  at the very least i do a pony tail, but more often than not i use a big butterfly clip to put it in a bun.  

now that i think about it (because i don't really want to), Terri cooked the beef three times--once to add the half-onion, once to cook the soup, and a third time to reheat the soup when they actually ate it.  i also just realized that she put the broth-ice on top of the beef-and-weens.  why on earth would she not thaw the block-o-broth first, and then add the meat?  oh right, this is Maxhell, where common sense doesn't count.

random gross thought:  Terri's ween soup meets BroGary's pink ween gravy.

[HereticHick]

Please Rufus, lay it on Chelsy's heart to put in a biiiig garden this spring, like she's accustomed to back on her family's farm, and show her sisters-in-law how to grow and eat real food!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

6 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Please Rufus, lay it on Chelsy's heart to put in a biiiig garden this spring, like she's accustomed to back on her family's farm, and show her sisters-in-law how to grow and eat real food!

She'll be in deep morning sickness.....

Plus, she'll be acclimating to tasteless burritos and leftover soup. That will soon stop her wanting food with flavor!

 

 

[bluelady]

On 2018-04-04 at 2:49 PM, Ivycoveredtower said:

Terri is just useless isn't she. couldn't even prepare a pot of soup by herself. No she had to do it a whole day ahead because her helpers would be busy the next day. 

She literally threw a bunch of frozen things in a pot and needed three adults to help her do that.  I do not understand why she needed help for that or why it needed to be done in advance. 

[theologygeek]

16 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I don’t understand that. I get that she is useless but why? Her kids are grown, and so is she. Why can’t she do things for herself? Why Do her daughters have to help her? Is it really that hard for her to do something by her self?

I don't understand it either.  She said she had to make the soup ahead of time because "all the kitchen helpers" were busy.  She can't cook for six people???  My mother is 81 years old and just did Easter dinner for 14 people.  And we're Italian with the 8,436 courses, so...  I would have helped her cook, but she doesn't want anyone near her in the kitchen.  I cleaned the kitchen for her afterwards. 

How could Teri not know how to cook after all these years?  Pick up a damn cookbook or watch youtube videos.  Also, why does she need help just to make disgusting contraptions?  She can climb a mountain but she needs help cooking for six people.  It just boggles the mind.  And Steve, if your wife has trouble cooking and finds it stressful to do herself, then help her.  Get your ass outside and grill.  Lazy bunch of slugs that family is. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 hours ago, freethemall said:

Who the heck mentions an ingredient (frozen tomato sauce) in a list of recipe ingredients but then removes it from the recipe? Why even mention it?

That looks DISGUSTING

We need to have an annual Disgusting Fundie Food Contest. What with Maxwell soups and casseroles, Jill Dill's canned chicken, and of course the infamous Bro Gary pink weenies there's a lot of strong contenders.

can't forget chickenetti 

[catlady]

52 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

 My mother is 81 years old and just did Easter dinner for 14 people.  And we're Italian with the 8,436 courses, so...  I would have helped her cook, but she doesn't want anyone near her in the kitchen.  I cleaned the kitchen for her afterwards. 

Your mom sounds amazing!

7 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

can't forget chickenetti 

i once showed the chickenetti to Mr. CL, and he was grossed out.  but i think if it were (heavily) modified, it could be turned into something mostly good.

[theologygeek]

12 minutes ago, catlady said:

Your mom sounds amazing!

Thank you.  Two years ago, she announced at Christmas that she was done.  No more cooking on holidays, she said.  Too much work, she said.  So we all gladly took over the reigns and had fun planning the foods we were all going to make for last Christmas.  Apparently my mother didn't like being done because she took right over for Easter and said she was doing everything herself.  LOL 

 

[PennySycamore]

@theologygeek,  I want to be like your mom when I'm 81!

[SPHASH]

That soup Griselda Teri made looks gross.  New post up.  Standardized testing time.  Why do Abby and Bethy have to bring treats Grandma likes?  She's not the one being tested.

[danvillebelle]

I was thinking about Terified as I stepped away from FJ a few minutes ago to make my breakfast.  

I sauteed an onion and a fresh tomato in a little olive oil, tossed in some spices I like (cumin, oregano, turmeric), then poured in 2 eggs and cooked it until they were just set.  Rolled it all up in some warm tortillas.

Time elapsed for entire process for me: about 5 minutes, including chopping the onion

Time required for Terified to produce the same breakfast - a special shopping trip, a planning session, chop the onion 3 days in advance, and 3 "helpers".

[formergothardite]

It is amazing that they don't seem to realize how not normal it is for Terrie to need a day and three helpers to make a simple soup. This is terrible advertisement for their whole "managers of the home" system. Terrie is so poorly managing things that defrosting food and heating it up is too much for her. The non-FJ readers HAVE to realize how insane it is. So does Chelsy. 

[samurai_sarah]

14 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

It is amazing that they don't seem to realize how not normal it is for Terrie to need a day and three helpers to make a simple soup. This is terrible advertisement for their whole "managers of the home" system. Terrie is so poorly managing things that defrosting food and heating it up is too much for her. The non-FJ readers HAVE to realize how insane it is. So does Chelsy. 

It is truly amazing. I'm still not done being amazed. I'm an ebil educated liberal woman who works, and I can do better than that. On my own!

I can understand someone who is new to cooking needing a lot of help to put together something simple. I can even understand putting this recipe out for a new cook. What baffles me is that the Maxwells sell their lifestyles as "better than thou", and this is what they offer and tout.

Our non-denominational FJ food club offers more enlightenment and better recipes than that!

[danvillebelle]

I sometimes wonder if part of her helplessness is due to her back pain possibly being waaaaaaay worse than she ever dares mention.  Lord knows Stevehovah would never allow her any pain meds.   Chronic back problems only get worse with age.  

 

[albanuadh_1]

I don't know why she didn't open some cans of soup & add water & call it a day! It would have been more appetizing.

 

[formergothardite]

57 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

I sometimes wonder if part of her helplessness is due to her back pain possibly being waaaaaaay worse than she ever dares mention. 

I wouldn't be surprised if her back pain is really bad, but all she had to do is dump stuff in a pot and turn on the stove to heat it up! Even the onions were already pre-chopped. I guess she did have to chop a couple of sausages, but it doesn't look like they put many in. 

Why did she need three people to assist her in doing this?! How can they not see that this is far from normal? 

I wonder if a lot of it is because she has gotten so used to not doing anything herself that the idea of even doing simple things on her own is unfathomable? At this point maybe she can't even imagine doing basic things without her children helping her.