Josiah Duggar Part 7: Waiting for the Wedding Pics

[Ivycoveredtower]

not sure if this pic has been shared yet but its the obligatory engaged couple pic in front of the staircase with the parents.  her mom looks so young, thought looking back at the courting video it very well could be when they start to court. (Don't know it was just on the newest Ellie blog post)

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I don't get the Pastor Caldwell is hot thing, but Mr. Lauren's dad, looks like the type of guy I would have hooked up with and did come to think of it.   

Her dad looks like he's early to mid 40's and mom mid to late 30's Lauren is what 18?  Lauren is very pretty as is her mom, and her dad.  Shame about the cult still.

[Ivycoveredtower]

18 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I don't get the Pastor Caldwell is hot thing, but Mr. Lauren's dad, looks like the type of guy I would have hooked up with and did come to think of it.   

Her dad looks like he's early to mid 40's and mom mid to late 30's Lauren is what 18?  Lauren is very pretty as is her mom, and her dad.  Shame about the cult still.

remember that Michelle and Anna pregnancy photo shoot when they were pregnant with Josie and Kenzie? just think Lauren and her mom could be in the same situation at some point. her mom did just have a baby and doesn't seem that old so I could see more arrows in her future. 

[singsingsing]

9 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

not sure if this pic has been shared yet but its the obligatory engaged couple pic in front of the staircase with the parents.  her mom looks so young

Lauren is the spitting image of her mother. I actually think her dad looks like the younger of the two, though. If you told me he was in his early 30s, I'd believe you (just based on this photo - I know he's about ten years older than that). Hard to believe his daughter is about to get married.

I don't think he or Pastor Caldwell are particularly hot, but ymmv. They're not really my type.

Why is there always someone in these photos/videos who looks like they just came in from working outside and didn't have time to take off their coat? 

[bananabread]

Lauren is so beautiful.

I REALLY hope Josiah and Lauren are happy together. They're the couple that worries me the most. Lauren is so young, and Josiah is...well, Josiah. I just can't envision him happily married in the fundie faith.

[Meggo]

2 hours ago, bananabread said:

Lauren is so beautiful.

I REALLY hope Josiah and Lauren are happy together. They're the couple that worries me the most. Lauren is so young, and Josiah is...well, Josiah. I just can't envision him happily married in the fundie faith.

So - then.... if he decides that the lord is pulling him to go thataway instead of thisaway - does she just follow? Because he's her headship? 

Like what if he decides pants aren't the devil, babies are great LATER and hey - if you want to go to college - go for it! Is she going to be wringing her hands because she just doesn't know what to do - or will she say "Yep - going to old navy for some pants. Picking up a college catalog on my way home."? 

These are the things I think about... 

[SapphireSlytherin]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Why is there always someone in these photos/videos who looks like they just came in from working outside and didn't have time to take off their coat? 

I've noticed this (and mentioned it) before. I wonder if the Duggar's house is just cold all the time?

[viii]

Michelle's shirt isn't green! 

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, viii said:

Michelle's shirt isn't green! 

oh someone is going to be in trouble for not doing the laundry 

[Runningfromreality]

2 hours ago, Meggo said:

So - then.... if he decides that the lord is pulling him to go thataway instead of thisaway - does she just follow? Because he's her headship? 

Like what if he decides pants aren't the devil, babies are great LATER and hey - if you want to go to college - go for it! Is she going to be wringing her hands because she just doesn't know what to do - or will she say "Yep - going to old navy for some pants. Picking up a college catalog on my way home."? 

These are the things I think about... 

I feel like I remember reading this somewhere (but I have no idea where so I could be making it up in my head) that if their headship does something ungodly or wants them to do something they think is ungodly, then their only option is to pray harder and submit harder. Someone please correct me if I'm totally off on that (or if you remember this being a thing!) That's one of the things that bugs me most about fundy marriages and the lifestyle as a whole. The rules are the rules but not really and they're only the rules as long as God says so but if your husband decides the rules are different you're supposed to just go with it. It must be pretty difficult to live that way. 

[Georgiana]

22 minutes ago, Runningfromreality said:

I feel like I remember reading this somewhere (but I have no idea where so I could be making it up in my head) that if their headship does something ungodly or wants them to do something they think is ungodly, then their only option is to pray harder and submit harder. Someone please correct me if I'm totally off on that (or if you remember this being a thing!) That's one of the things that bugs me most about fundy marriages and the lifestyle as a whole. The rules are the rules but not really and they're only the rules as long as God says so but if your husband decides the rules are different you're supposed to just go with it. It must be pretty difficult to live that way. 

I believe they are required to go along with household decisions their husband makes, but if he commands them to personally sin, they can refuse.  That's actually in the Bible.  So the husband can command the children go to school, be allowed to wear pants, etc. even against the wishes of the wife and she must submit, but he cannot command the wife to sleep with someone else or steal for him, for example.  She is justified in refusing to commit sin, even on the order of her husband.

When the husband is "in sin", the wife does have some limited recourse.  She can live elsewhere with the kids until he repents, but in many groups, she cannot divorce him.

If he divorces her, as shown by the Brown-Bradrick fiasco, she can remain in the movement and get remarried.  I don't think a woman could divorce her husband and still be considered for remarriage.  I do believe she would be ostracized, but I think also it would depend on who she is and if her family stands behind her.  

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Lauren’s dad doesn’t do it for me, but I do think Pastor Caldwell is hot. Different types, I guess.

[artdecades]

3 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I've noticed this (and mentioned it) before. I wonder if the Duggar's house is just cold all the time?

It’s gotta be. It’s hard heating a place that size with those high ceilings and since the kits they bought weren’t designed to be combined they probably aren’t properly insulated. 

[Four is Enough]

Yeah. Wasnt' it just a pole barn couple of kits to begin with?

[Ivycoveredtower]

12 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Yeah. Wasnt' it just a pole barn couple of kits to begin with?

it's two steel frame kits they talk about it at the 7 min mark of 16 kids and moving in and Michelle says Jim bob called her and said he had the biggest tinker toy project. 

[Jinder Roles]

Lauren's dad looks like he's in his late- 40s to me...and really sunburned. 

I can see why people think Pastor Caldwell is attractive, I guess he is, but he's too....clean shaven? square-headed? boyish? quintessential ignorant white man? homophobic peddling? patriarchal?

Yeah, something like that. 

Jeremy is hot though. But only with the beard. Without the beard he looks like Rob Kardashian after getting duped by Blac Chyna. 

[PumaLover]

It’s gotta be. It’s hard heating a place that size with those high ceilings and since the kits they bought weren’t designed to be combined they probably aren’t properly insulated. 

I have wondered about this. My mom has a large house with high ceilings and it's always cold in the winter and hot in summer. It looks pretty and grand, but it's just not practical from a heating and cooling perspective. She always complains about her utility bills.

I was late to the ring discussion but I always love talking about rings! I wear very little jewelry but I never take off my engagement ring or band. I found my engagement ring at the famous Gold and Silver pawn shop in Vegas on a trip with my sister years ago. It was a small, low set sapphire with a tiny diamond on either side, set in white gold. I called Mr. Puma and told him I was buying it and he said ok. That was our engagement story-so romantic! Lol The wedding ring is sterling silver and was made by an artist on Etsy. It's just a simple scroll leaf/vine pattern. The engagement ring needs to be re-flashed though, since the rhodium coating is wearing off and it's getting yellow!

[MargaretElliott]

At work one day, in college, I think I was twenty, I was getting hit on by this older guy whom I had absolutely no interest in- so I casually brought up my boyfriend. The guy asked how long we had been together, I told the truth, three years. The guy proceeded to go on a long lecture about how if a guy doesn't propose after two years, he's not serious and I should leave him immediately. Apparently my boyfriend was stringing me along and taking me for granted, since he wasn't willing to commit. While I know some people are ready for marriage at twenty, I knew I wasn't. And I'm damn glad, because that guy turned out to be a manipulative, possibly emotionally abusive asshat. I'm very glad I didn't marry him. Thanks, random guy, for providing horrible relationship advice intended to make women feel insecure. Dick.

I think that's one of the weird things about fundie relationships, they usually follow a very precise timeline. And while there are plenty of people who got married young after a short period of time and are very happy (and congrats to you!), but relationships aren't one-size-fits-all. And when you're younger, as many of these fundie brides are, that extra time to grow and mature together can be beneficial. And the fundie formula (less than 6 months between courtship and marriage) seems very one-size-fits-all, so they can get right to that righteous boning. I'm sure some of these couples will be very happy marrying after less than a year. I'm sure more of them won't be, especially after five, ten, twenty years.

Personally, I don't think I'd marry a guy unless we had been together for at least three to five years. That's my own personal feeling, and it might change. I've been with my current SO for a little under a year (y'all on the single ladies forum might remember that "fast track" as Jinger put it), and if he proposed tomorrow, I'd definitely say no. These rules, whether they come from societal pressures, parents, or some guy harassing you while you're just trying to be nice, are utter bullshit. Everyone is different, every relationship is different.

[Beermeet]

These are my rings.  The engagement ring is my paternal grandmother's from 1946.  She gave it to me on her deathbed and I wore it for months after she passed.  It was then I decided I wanted to wear that ring as my own until I pass it on on my deathbed ( that will be ruined by FJ spreadsheets).  Unusual?  Tricky situation? Yes.  But, I also figured the man that I will marry will be cool with that.  So, once me and Mr. Meet started talking marriage, I told him. He was uneasy at first but after I told him how much I want to legit wear that ring and it came from a death do you part marriage  ( good juju) he was good.  I had my mom give it to him when we visited NY.  Months later he proposed at the Hoover damn.  I was actually surprised!  I love that ring!  Typical design of the times.  

I choose my wedding band.  The reason for the middle band is because the diamond edges on the wedding band were rubbing and cutting into the 1947 ring.  Not cool.  So, I got the middle one to stop that from happening almost 2 years after we married.   I really like the look without it but, don't want the engagement ring to get damaged even more.

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

@Beermeet - your setup is similar to mine. And SO SORRY because I accidentally downvoted your post! I corrected it as soon as I realized.

 

[Beermeet]

7 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

@Beermeet - your setup is similar to mine. And SO SORRY because I accidentally downvoted your post! I corrected it as soon as I realized.

 

Pic?!

[SapphireSlytherin]

@Beermeet — here are my rings. And gahhhh! How old my hand looks. Lol

[Beermeet]

4 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

@Beermeet — here are my rings. And gahhhh! How old my hand looks. Lol

Gorgeous!  Totally similar.  Different but very similar.  Love it!  

[HermioneSparrow]

Eww.. Pastor Caldwell is Steve Newlin to me and I cannot unsee it. Lauren's dad looks late 40s IMO and like he fried himself in a tanning booth. 

The only attractive fundie to me is Lawson Bates but he's wayyy too into himself for my taste (also, fundie).

[just_ordinary]

Ahhhhh thanks y’all for answering my question. I totally get replacing a broken ring or when the material gets thinner and thinner. Or adding another band. Or when the one you got was always meant the be replaced with the real one.

I thought upgrade meant you just get a more expensive/bigger one even though your original engagement ring is still fine. That concept, I can still not grasp. I mean you want a bigger ring because you have more money now and love jewellery- just buy (or get gifted) the damn thing and wear it. No need to replace the original in my eyes. Some people add rings for children or from relatives, no reason not to add one just because you like it and you can. Wouldn’t call it an engagement ring though.

Material damage was the reason I insisted on platinum wedding bands. I loved the symbolism of “it might get a scratch but it will always have the same worth as in the beginning” (as far as I know the material isn’t getting thinner but just suspended on the ring itself when there is a scratch- if not please don’t correct my illusion!!!).

It was so hard to find simple bands without extra decorations that looked exactly the same (apart from size) that time. Material mixes, at least one stone for the woman, very wide cut and a “not rounded surface(???)” were everywhere. We found them though and they weren’t too expensive (around 2000-3000€ for both including engraving on the inside).