Joy & Austin 21: Still Talking About Baby Gideon

[kachuu]

1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Picky eaters, help me out here because I'm thinking about this a lot now:

I'm a massive foodie. I cook nearly every night of the week, I love experimenting, I love all kinds of cuisines, I'm pretty obsessed with my sous vide machine (salmon sous vide will make you believe that there is good in this world), and I see houseguests and parties as an excuse to try out new recipes and techniques. Real talk: I'm already planning my Fourth of July party (sous vide chicken wings, chipwiches with homemade cookies and ice cream and/or apple pie, possibly puerco pibil tacos as well, but that might be a bit much). 

What do I do/how do I react if a picky eater loathes or at least declines everything I serve? Because knee-jerk emotional reaction would definitely be "oh god she hates my food and me and nothing I make is good enough and I suck and she sucks too and it's all a waste now why do I even bother fuck you go eat a Lean Cuisine", but I know that's irrational and not polite at all. Do I go run out to the store and go buy what they want?  Do I just let them starve? Am I a bad host for not knowing? How does a host effectively cater to picky eaters, especially if said picky eaters aren't friends where I'd already know their habits/issues? 

If you could just rub off that love of cooking on me, that would be very appreciative!! I find i cook the same things each week. But i'm also pregnant and have become super picky (still) even in my third trimester. Not helping at all, just adding that i'm jealous of your drive to cook 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

I know a man who as a child and young adult wouldn't eat tomato, wouldn't even look at them, he took a lot of flack from parents and people like just try it.

As an adult he was tested for allergies, yep you guessed it. Deadly allergies for all things from the tomato family. I seem to recall they are from the belladonna  family .  Since then I have never tried force feed anybody, especially kids if they feel strongly about it.

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Picky eaters, help me out here because I'm thinking about this a lot now:

I'm a massive foodie. I cook nearly every night of the week, I love experimenting, I love all kinds of cuisines, I'm pretty obsessed with my sous vide machine (salmon sous vide will make you believe that there is good in this world), and I see houseguests and parties as an excuse to try out new recipes and techniques. Real talk: I'm already planning my Fourth of July party (sous vide chicken wings, chipwiches with homemade cookies and ice cream and/or apple pie, possibly puerco pibil tacos as well, but that might be a bit much). 

What do I do/how do I react if a picky eater loathes or at least declines everything I serve? Because knee-jerk emotional reaction would definitely be "oh god she hates my food and me and nothing I make is good enough and I suck and she sucks too and it's all a waste now why do I even bother fuck you go eat a Lean Cuisine", but I know that's irrational and not polite at all. Do I go run out to the store and go buy what they want?  Do I just let them starve? Am I a bad host for not knowing? How does a host effectively cater to picky eaters, especially if said picky eaters aren't friends where I'd already know their habits/issues? 

Just have a nice variety of sides. Like I said, I don't eat most seafood, but I will try any veggie, fruit, salad or side offered. Are you in the US? It seems to me that many Americans do not have an adventurous palate. 2 years ago, my hubs and I took a cruise to see the glaciers in Southern Chile. Our table mates were a family with 2 small boys (3,4) from Germany and those little guys ate everything offered at every meal. There was no whining or insisting on kid foods. We had just left our 2 YO GD and there is just no way... even though she's only 1/2 NO American, she is as picky as they come.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Picky eaters, help me out here because I'm thinking about this a lot now:

I'm a massive foodie. I cook nearly every night of the week, I love experimenting, I love all kinds of cuisines, I'm pretty obsessed with my sous vide machine (salmon sous vide will make you believe that there is good in this world), and I see houseguests and parties as an excuse to try out new recipes and techniques. Real talk: I'm already planning my Fourth of July party (sous vide chicken wings, chipwiches with homemade cookies and ice cream and/or apple pie, possibly puerco pibil tacos as well, but that might be a bit much). 

What do I do/how do I react if a picky eater loathes or at least declines everything I serve? Because knee-jerk emotional reaction would definitely be "oh god she hates my food and me and nothing I make is good enough and I suck and she sucks too and it's all a waste now why do I even bother fuck you go eat a Lean Cuisine", but I know that's irrational and not polite at all. Do I go run out to the store and go buy what they want?  Do I just let them starve? Am I a bad host for not knowing? How does a host effectively cater to picky eaters, especially if said picky eaters aren't friends where I'd already know their habits/issues? 

It’s a party. They can eat beforehand, bring food, or eat afterwards. If they complain, you don’t need them in your life. That being said, don’t expect your guests to be massive foodies and don’t get your feelings hurt if they aren’t enthusiastic about the food.

[Honeysuckle]

2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

What do I do/how do I react if a picky eater loathes or at least declines everything I serve? Because knee-jerk emotional reaction would definitely be "oh god she hates my food and me and nothing I make is good enough and I suck and she sucks too and it's all a waste now why do I even bother fuck you go eat a Lean Cuisine", but I know that's irrational and not polite at all.

Most picky eaters are pretty good about taking care of themselves by adulthood. It's one party, not a two-week getaway where yours is the only food they'll get a chance to eat. If they don't like the things at your party, they'll hopefully have the manners to say that they just aren't very hungry but everything looks so lovely. A lot of picky eaters are embarrassed if someone calls a lot of attention to what they eat or don't eat. So just host your party, offer everyone the food, and don't push it, and you and your guests should all have a lovely time. Really unless it's a very small gathering, you might not even notice who is devouring the sous vide chicken wings and who ate one bite.

And the guests who don't want any of the food can go home and eat after without you having to hear about it.

[MargaretElliott]

My grandmother (who took care of me while my parents worked) tried to convince me to eat everything on my plate by saying "There are kids who eat out of garbage cans!" She never really explained the connection, so I didn't know that I was supposed to be grateful for what I had. As a result, threw as much food away as humanly possible, so those poor kids who ate out of garbage cans would find something to eat. She got so frustrated with me, but I really thought I was helping someone.

My boyfriend was actually a really picky eater until he moved out and started cooking for himself. Like, rice, bread, and pasta only. But we had beef wellington (with mushroom duxelles, of course), potatoes au gratin, and a salad with homemade blueberry-maple balsamic vinaigrette for a dinner party the other weekend. He did the beef, and it was truly incredible. He even loves spicy food (like, eating ghost peppers straight) now. He's still kinda picky about vegetables, but people's tastes can really change depending on their environments. I prefer to consult the people I'm cooking for beforehand to make sure I'm aware of food allergies and the like, but I won't, say, not cook meat if there's a vegan person there. But I sure as hell will guarantee there's a delicious vegan option in addition to meaty, cheesy dishes.

I also love roasted garlic. I could eat it straight. It's the best thing you can add to mashed potatoes, in my opinion. Go Joy.

[Bad Wolf]

My friend's mother used to tell her children were starving in China. She kept looking in the china plate, trying to find the children.

[luv2laugh]

Even though Joy is ridiculously young, she will be ok since this is what she was raised to be. I’m just sad that she wasn’t allowed anything more....

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

6 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

I don’t like water.  Not even kidding. I hate ice. 

My kids were adventurous eaters, too. Escargot, liver, you name it, they ingested it. My stepchildren were very picky eaters. At first, I thought they would be happy to finally get to try so many new foods with us. They hated it. That’s when I realized picky eating had nothing to do with exposure or opportunity, and to not force kids to try things. They probably felt tortured. The only thing that upset me was their constant need to call things the rest of us were eating, “gross” and “yucky.” I didn’t expect them to try it, but they didn’t need to detract from our meal or insult those of us who were trying to enjoy ourselves. 

Water isn't my 1st choice of beverage, I'm horrible about it, and live on diet coke, I know I shouldn't drink as much as I do but it is hard to give up my nectar of the gods.   True story, I love escargot, had is several times always enjoyed it, the smell of liver gags me I've only ever had jt in pate and it was so nasty, 

 

[JordynDarby5]

1 hour ago, MargaretElliott said:

My grandmother (who took care of me while my parents worked) tried to convince me to eat everything on my plate by saying "There are kids who eat out of garbage cans!" She never really explained the connection, so I didn't know that I was supposed to be grateful for what I had. As a result, threw as much food away as humanly possible, so those poor kids who ate out of garbage cans would find something to eat. She got so frustrated with me, but I really thought I was helping someone.

 

33 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

My friend's mother used to tell her children were starving in China. She kept looking in the china plate, trying to find the children.

That's what I love about kids. When you tell them something you never know what they think that means. My parents tried the children are starving elsewhere with me too. I always offered to give them my food.  I thought it was a nice thing to do and solved the problem.  My parents didn't think so.  I probably was a picky eater but I do sometimes wonder if my stomach issues existed as a kid but we just didn't know. Some stuff like peas and green beans were always really hard for me eat aside from dislike my stomach always felt weird and I was never certain if I wouldn't throw it up. But my parents just assumed it was just me being picky, not liking them, or being difficult. They were easier to eat if I could hid them in my mash potatoes or something. But I really don't know.       

[fluffernutter]

I'm not picky except seafood. Other than like a crab dip or breaded fried shrimp, or tuna, I can't eat it. My husband was super picky when we got married. Turns out his mom was a really bland, processed type-foods cook and he just needed to try what was out there. My first two girls were picky, my last was happy to eat whatever we ate. I think it's just important to present a variety of food and encourage trying it. The kids responded well to a garden- like a pride in what they grew. 

[Nargus]

1 hour ago, fluffernutter said:

My husband was super picky when we got married. Turns out his mom was a really bland, processed type-foods cook and he just needed to try what was out there. 

My grandma was not the greatest cook.  Any kind of meat she cooked, was pretty much cooked into dust.  When my aunt went to my uncle's family's house for their first Thanksgiving as a married couple, she turned down the turkey, because she didn't like turkey.  Turns out she just doesn't like dry, powdery turkey.

A couple years ago, my grandma was having some health issues and my uncle offered to take over the cooking of Christmas dinner.  As she watched him baste the turkey, she asked "are you using hot water or cold water?"

[Jinder Roles]

I’m picky but it’s about specifics. Like, if th me shrimp is served with a sauce I like then I’ll eat it but if it’s not available then I have to change my entire order. I’m also weird about texture, how it looks, mixing food (I’m a food separatist)  and spices. And I have to be in the right mood to eat X, Y or Z. I think a lot of my pickiness comes fin on my anxiety. 

Ive become less picky since college, but I’m still quite finicky and particular. But if you think I’m picky, one of my best friends has never had an orange. She says it’s necause she’s smelled orange flavored candy and knows what it tastes like. I’ve tried to tell her that’s not how it works. 

[SweetJuly]

It's really fascinating how bad cooking can influence how one feels about certain foods.

When I met my husband, he wouldn't touch boiled potatoes. Turns out that his mother would boil peeled potatoes in a ton of water without any salt, leaving them mushy and absolutely flavourless. I have since then introduced my husband to potatoes boiled with skin and salt (or even peeled and with salt), and he now has no issues eating them.

I also hated cooked carrots when I was little. When I grew up, I realised my mother just had a very bad, flavourless way of preparing them and cooking them far too long. Now that I do my own cooking, I have no problems eating carrots in any preparation. My mother would also overcook salmon and manage to make even the nicest cut of beef tough.

Of course tastes differ and people refuse certain foods for a number of reasons, but I wonder how often badly prepared foods in one's childhood can influence how you feel about some things even well into your adulthood. Underlines how important it is to at least try and challenge yourself every now and then - you might be rewarded beyond your expectations when you discover something you thought was awful is actually delicious!

[KelseyAnn]

For fellow water haters, might I suggest Clear brand water? That stuff is amazing and the only way i'll drink water. 

[libgirl2]

17 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Water isn't my 1st choice of beverage, I'm horrible about it, and live on diet coke, I know I shouldn't drink as much as I do but it is hard to give up my nectar of the gods.   True story, I love escargot, had is several times always enjoyed it, the smell of liver gags me I've only ever had jt in pate and it was so nasty, 

 

I was so grateful that my mom hated liver and only made it a couple of times for my dad, having a special meal for her and me. Though I adore liver sausage. I could eat it by itself. 

I try to drink water but I love diet coke too. 

12 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

It's really fascinating how bad cooking can influence how one feels about certain foods.

When I met my husband, he wouldn't touch boiled potatoes. Turns out that his mother would boil peeled potatoes in a ton of water without any salt, leaving them mushy and absolutely flavourless. I have since then introduced my husband to potatoes boiled with skin and salt (or even peeled and with salt), and he now has no issues eating them.

I also hated cooked carrots when I was little. When I grew up, I realised my mother just had a very bad, flavourless way of preparing them and cooking them far too long. Now that I do my own cooking, I have no problems eating carrots in any preparation. My mother would also overcook salmon and manage to make even the nicest cut of beef tough.

Of course tastes differ and people refuse certain foods for a number of reasons, but I wonder how often badly prepared foods in one's childhood can influence how you feel about some things even well into your adulthood. Underlines how important it is to at least try and challenge yourself every now and then - you might be rewarded beyond your expectations when you discover something you thought was awful is actually delicious!

My mom always made canned peas and carrots. Hated them. I make frozen and love them or fresh. 

My husband grew up eating the same few meals every week. I have had his mom's cooking and its not that great (crunchy stuffing anyone?). He thinks I am a great cook. He eats quite a few things but he has an odd palate. We recently went to an Indian grocery store and bought some goodies. He complained that one wasn't sweet enough (its like dulce de leche but with buffalo milk and is delicious), the other treat is too bland (it is so chockful of the best spices like cardemom and fennel.). He seems to enjoy eating some real junk like cheap nutty buddy bars or swiss rolls. 

I grew up with German and Dominican food. I can scarf down a tostone or a schnitzel with ease. 

[nastyhobbitses]

I wasn't allowed to drink soda as a kid. I basically only drink Coke in cocktails. It took me years to like seltzer, which I now chug tons of daily to stop myself from snacking during the day at my desk. 

Also, for those curious, tuna wiggle is noodles with really mayo-y, flakey canned tuna. It tastes and feels like wallpaper glue. It's so weird: I would eat an entire raw (sushi) tuna if you let me (conveyer belt sushi restaurants are my downfall), I really like tuna salad the way my mom makes it in basically every other context (no one else makes it quite right), but I can't stomach tuna wiggle. 

[Meggo]

On ‎3‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 4:28 PM, SassyPants said:

Just have a nice variety of sides. Like I said, I don't eat most seafood, but I will try any veggie, fruit, salad or side offered. Are you in the US? It seems to me that many Americans do not have an adventurous palate. 2 years ago, my hubs and I took a cruise to see the glaciers in Southern Chile. Our table mates were a family with 2 small boys (3,4) from Germany and those little guys ate everything offered at every meal. There was no whining or insisting on kid foods. We had just left our 2 YO GD and there is just no way... even though she's only 1/2 NO American, she is as picky as they come.

My son has a pretty adventurous palate. He's five so - it's really hit or miss. Like he informed me the other day he doesn't like cheese or yogurt. They're yucky. Despite having eaten both of them most of his life - including the day before. 

But he LOOOOVES his veggies. When we were on vacation and all he wanted was a hot dog or chicken fingers - I was fine as long as the side was broccoli because he will snarf that down raw, steamed - doesn't even matter. 

But he mostly eats what we eat. He didn't eat the fish last night at dinner - but he did pick the edamame out of the noodles and eat them (and only them). 
The only things he flat out refuses to eat - shrimp and green melon. And he doesn't like big hunk of tomato or onions in things. But he ate a whole pint of cherry tomatoes the other day as a snack. The whole pint!! I didn't get a single one. 

 

[NotQuiteMotY]

I'm a bit behind on this, but I grew up with the rule that you had to try whatever dinner was if we hadn't had it before. If you didn't like it, no problem, there was cereal and sandwich materials in the kitchen. I think it helped that my mom experimented a lot, so we were used to new stuff landing on the table, and we were encouraged to weigh in on the food. Not just thumbs up or down, but what we wanted to change, what would be a good addition, etcetera.

I'm trying something similar with Little NQ, but with a toddler it's harder to figure out if he's not hungry, just not liking it, getting a stomachache, whatever.

As far as guests, I try to accommodate what I know and do the best I can. Figuring out the menu for our wedding was a trip because of picky eaters, but we tried. Still had someone smuggle in a peanut butter sandwich...

[Alisamer]

23 hours ago, Honeysuckle said:

Most picky eaters are pretty good about taking care of themselves by adulthood. It's one party, not a two-week getaway where yours is the only food they'll get a chance to eat. If they don't like the things at your party, they'll hopefully have the manners to say that they just aren't very hungry but everything looks so lovely. A lot of picky eaters are embarrassed if someone calls a lot of attention to what they eat or don't eat. So just host your party, offer everyone the food, and don't push it, and you and your guests should all have a lovely time. Really unless it's a very small gathering, you might not even notice who is devouring the sous vide chicken wings and who ate one bite.

And the guests who don't want any of the food can go home and eat after without you having to hear about it.

This, exactly. I'm a bit on the picky side (luckily almost all cultures have some sort of vegetable soup, which helps), but I don't ever want to make a big deal about it. If I'm unsure what's on the menu, I may have a snack before an event and eat after if I'm still hungry. If I know what's on the menu, I'll decide whether to eat before or after, or whatever.

I got fussed at a good bit as a child for being "too picky". I've discovered as an adult that my mother is at least as picky as I am, she just didn't have to serve anything SHE didn't like. So now, I'll try most things (unless I'm positive I won't like them, like cheese). When we have a family trip to Walt Disney World, one of the things my sisters and I really enjoy is trying different restaurants, so we make the reservations and tell my parents they are welcome to eat somewhere else if they'd like. My mom whines about it some, but always manages to find something she will eat.

[Satan'sFortress]

Over the course of several years, one of my kids became a very picky eater--to the point that there were basically only a few foods he'd eat:  plain pasta, pizza, chicken nuggets, waffles, pancakes.  It eventually got serious and he was scary thin & started passing out as a young teen.  We took a long time to figure out that it was more of a psychological thing in his case & we worked with a counselor and dietician to help him realize he needed to change the way he ate.  He is almost 20 now and better, but still a "difficult" eater. 

Side note to that---it always annoyed me that the doctors kind of downplayed it.  If it had been a young girl, my guess is that they would have been more concerned about eating disorders.  It does happen in boys, too!

Re:  planning for guests---I am a vegetarian and never expect my host to prepare for that.  There is always something I can eat, especially at a party.  I imagine that if I were ever invited to a dinner party by someone who didn't know  I was a vegetarian, I might mention it to them, but ONLY to let them know---I wouldn't expect them to change their dinner plan to accommodate me!  As someone upthread suggested, I would be more embarrassed by the host making a big deal out of it.  I happily will eat the salad and munch on side dishes--just please don't call attention to me!

[patsymae]

On 3/6/2018 at 4:17 PM, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

I know a man who as a child and young adult wouldn't eat tomato, wouldn't even look at them, he took a lot of flack from parents and people like just try it.

As an adult he was tested for allergies, yep you guessed it. Deadly allergies for all things from the tomato family. I seem to recall they are from the belladonna  family .  Since then I have never tried force feed anybody, especially kids if they feel strongly about it.

Thank you, may Rufus bless you. I am allergic to tomatoes, which for some reason I can't fathom are in everything, so I'm basically the dinner guest from hell. My allergy is not, however, life-threatening; I just get very sick and miserable, and not always just as it does into my mouth. So I am constantly fed things with nonvisible tomatoes, because "she'll never notice." I hate those people.
So I've developed a love of buffets, which while they don't have the best food in the world, to put it politely, at least I can see what I'm going to eat.

1 minute ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Over the course of several years, one of my kids became a very picky eater--to the point that there were basically only a few foods he'd eat:  plain pasta, pizza, chicken nuggets, waffles, pancakes.  It eventually got serious and he was scary thin & started passing out as a young teen.  We took a long time to figure out that it was more of a psychological thing in his case & we worked with a counselor and dietician to help him realize he needed to change the way he ate.  He is almost 20 now and better, but still a "difficult" eater. 

Side note to that---it always annoyed me that the doctors kind of downplayed it.  If it had been a young girl, my guess is that they would have been more concerned about eating disorders.  It does happen in boys, too!

Re:  planning for guests---I am a vegetarian and never expect my host to prepare for that.  There is always something I can eat, especially at a party.  I imagine that if I were ever invited to a dinner party by someone who didn't know  I was a vegetarian, I might mention it to them, but ONLY to let them know---I wouldn't expect them to change their dinner plan to accommodate me!  As someone upthread suggested, I would be more embarrassed by the host making a big deal out of it.  I happily will eat the salad and munch on side dishes--just please don't call attention to me!

To add to what I said in the previous post--much as I hate to be a pain, with an allergy to tomatoes I do mention it when invited to dinner because they are in everything and it's better to be upfront than to come to someone's house and then either not be able to eat their food or to choke on it. I usually say I'd love to come but I have an allergy to tomatoes, and maybe I could bring dessert and join you later. If there's a better way I'm up for learning it.

[Ace3]

I am a very picky eater...like embarrassingly picky. My grandmother would regularly make two meals in case we didn't like whatever Peruvian dish she made. I am determined to make sure my kiddo (who is 3.5) is NOT like me. I cook stuff all the time for just my husband and my son and luckily, he eats everything. His preschool teachers even comment about how happy he is to open his lunchbox and find mushrooms or olives for a snack. They thing it's crazy but they love it! If I make dinner and he makes a face we just tell him, 'oh honey, it's [insert item here] and you love it!" and that normally works! I'm sure it won't work forever, but the only thing he doesn't seem to like is shrimp, but we'll keep offering it. I don't want him to be anything like me when it comes to food!

[Cheetah]

On 3/6/2018 at 11:34 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

Picky eaters, help me out here because I'm thinking about this a lot now:

I'm a massive foodie. I cook nearly every night of the week, I love experimenting, I love all kinds of cuisines, I'm pretty obsessed with my sous vide machine (salmon sous vide will make you believe that there is good in this world), and I see houseguests and parties as an excuse to try out new recipes and techniques. Real talk: I'm already planning my Fourth of July party (sous vide chicken wings, chipwiches with homemade cookies and ice cream and/or apple pie, possibly puerco pibil tacos as well, but that might be a bit much). 

What do I do/how do I react if a picky eater loathes or at least declines everything I serve? Because knee-jerk emotional reaction would definitely be "oh god she hates my food and me and nothing I make is good enough and I suck and she sucks too and it's all a waste now why do I even bother fuck you go eat a Lean Cuisine", but I know that's irrational and not polite at all. Do I go run out to the store and go buy what they want?  Do I just let them starve? Am I a bad host for not knowing? How does a host effectively cater to picky eaters, especially if said picky eaters aren't friends where I'd already know their habits/issues? 

Whenever I host people I ask up front if they are vegetarian, gluten free, or have any allergies or food issues.  Then you can work the menu around that.  (That said, more than once I've had kid parties where I ended up with one vegetarian and one gluten-free kid.... either-or is fine but both in one party can get tricky).  A lot of times parents will say, "oh my kid is pretty picky so don't plan the menu around him ... we'll bring a sandwich or if you have bread and peanut butter that will do it."

And try not to take it personally.  Like someone else said, adults, teens, and even older kids should be able to know how to say 'no, thank you' nicely and fill up on bread or plan to eat more later at home if your meal doesn't work for them.   You never know these days... even if they like your food they might be doing a low carb diet or something where they just can't eat a lot of what you make, and it's better not to put too much 'heart' into whether or not someone is eating your cooking.   

[mydoggoskeeper]

My ex's mother is well known to everyone but herself as being a terrible cook.  Everyone always went to her house full and politely told her she could bring wine if she wanted to bring something to someone else's house.  When my ex joined the Navy at 18, he was blown away at how good the food was.  He's not a picky eater, but he abhors eating food that has gotten cold.