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Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed


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11 hours ago, PumaLover said:

I finally got through the latest video. If this is his "job," why does he seem so disorganized in his live videos? If you only have one take, why not make sure everything is ready before you start recording? Have your phone/tablet on a stand, check the lighting, make sure your phone is turned off and the room is quiet. All the banging around was driving me crazy.

That and he kept stumbling over his words like he didn't really even know what he was talking about. If you're billing yourself as a preacher, why not maybe have your bible bookmarked for quick reference, or even some notes? The whole thing was just ridiculous, but I guess I should expect nothing less from my favorite Ween man.

I too cringed at the part where he was at first blaming Becky for leaving whatever it was that they needed to copy. Good job taking some credit there.

Also, there was one part where he kept talking about the bible and being saved and hell and all that (it kind of all ran together) and he said if you don't like it, Gary didn't write the bible. Jesus did. Did I hear that right? I'm pretty sure Jesus did not write the bible because he wasn't around for a huge chunk of it. 

Also I messaged Mr. Puma and let him know I was watching Bro Ween's sermon and he was giving marriage advice. He wrote back, oh no!

I agree about the disorganization. He turns on his video, then flips it around to selfie style, then waits for people to sign on. It is maddening. There’s no need to do it live. Get everything set up, record your video, make sure it is perfect, and post it.

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10 hours ago, Beermeet said:

Well, now your just stirrin' up desires in me that can't be righteously fufilled.  Mr. Meet ( huh huh huh) won't come near me except to refill my water and drop off soup.  I have a terrible cold and he's covering his mouth/nose to food drop even.  No way I'm getting any!  Lol. Haymayn!

Weeelll, Beer, I'm sure there are ways to satisfy those desires without any oral contact...I'll just dip back into the prayer closet.  My seat is still warm, lol, and the wine is cold---

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It's a first: Percy and Estus are going to Ray-Pirkle.  I have never been to a Ray-Pirkle before!

 

haw.jpg

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Bro Gary has a new video up and apparently some lettuce or something stuck in his shirt button. Bro Gare and Becks are gonna be peddling their THIRD MLM scam, “Paprotsy” or something, he says. $5 jewelry MLM. He says people said he needed a job so this is it. And all he asks is that 400+ of his Facebook friends buy crap jewelry from him. It’s a cringe worthy video, y’all- And he did get a good “HAYMAYUN” in there, too. 

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I've heard about that Paparazzi jewelry MLM. Bro Gary and Becky are not going to get rich off of it, even if the jewelry is only $5 each.  

Hey, Bro Gary, if by any chance you are reading this, here's a suggestion.  People say you need a job, right?  The MLMs have not worked for you so far.  Take a hint from God, the cosmos, other people, whoever...and get a real job that isn't an MLM.  Stay put for a while, find some local businesses, submit some applications, and work for 20 or 40 or so hours a week.  If you work at a restaurant, you may even get free meals out of it for yourself.  What say you?

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1 hour ago, Snarkylark said:

“Paprotsy” or something, he says.

"Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy."

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Estus Pirkle? The guy who made those crazy Jesus-exploitation movies in the 70’s? Pretty sure he’s been dead for over 10 years now. Is Gary going to go visit his ghost? What is he going to do there!? Why are this man’s posts such garbled nonsense!? 

It is truly terrifying that that Estus Pirkle’s congregation is still around. Naturally it is somewhere a man like Gary dreams of visiting. 

 

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Okay folks, I couldn't even take 20 seconds of either video. 

But I did ask Dr. Google about that ther toothpaste haymuhn.

Of course it's an MLM. Of course sketchy AF.  But I found the ingredients with an explanation and/or said analysis. 

My favorite one: Titanium Dioxide. Used to make white wall paint. Hmmm.

Can't figure out the link thingy... But it's from timelessvie@wordpress

Buscar AP 24 toothpaste. 

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Having done some research, it appears that both Percy Ray and Estus Pirkle are dead. Percy Ray founded Camp Zion in Myrtle MS, and Estus Pirkle wrote a biography of him. There’s a website and everything, if you google “camp zion myrtle MS”. 

Here’s a screenshot of the rules they have for the camp. It sounds just like the kind of place Bro Gary would visit. Pity he won’t be able to share a room with Becky... unless he wants to stay in a motel.

9C63D6EE-79B0-4A13-97D6-6B2DA34F2436.thumb.png.3edcf4b42e7aaeaff2883306b8f535e3.png

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8 hours ago, pamplemousse said:

If you work at a restaurant, you may even get free meals out of it for yourself.  What say you?

Maybe he can suggest weens & gravy as a featured item? 

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If he waited tables in a restaurant, could you imagine him telling the guests the daily specials?  Even better--French cuisine!  How about writing down the order at a Mexican restaurant?

If imaginin' that don't make y'uns laff so hard y'all burp up yur weens n' gravy, I dunno what'll do it.  HAYMEN!

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In the latest video he says he has to take care of a few expenses before he can start selling jewelry. 

Wouldnt it be a heads up of sorts if your new job is costing you money such that you have to pay other bills before you can afford to start?

Also, he just seems really angry. Something simmering under the surface later in the video when he is talking abort how everyone says he should get job, so he’s getting a job, but now he will probably lose friends over it. 

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Oh, Gary, when we say get a job, we mean a regular nine-to-five type job. Not another MLM, for Chrissakes! That’s not a proper job! *facepalm*

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Ok folks, I, for one, am glad that he is once again using that super flattering angle to make his videos.

Spoiler

image.png.9aa29d309a84fe76fc400f024500d029.png

Spoiler

image.png.00a9e1a929cfe752fc38dfe86688179f.png

HAYMAYUN!

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SMH this guy. Whose saying to get a job?? His kids? His ex? Her ex?  Yo Bro: if yer donatin’ Be dryin’ Up... maybe yer Lord and savor be tryin’ a tell ya to work... read the story of Paul, Bro Gary.

sadly, the man may not be intelligent enough to get work. I cannot imagine a job interview with him. I would assume I was on candid camera. 

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In reading the camp information, donated food is placed upon an altar and dedicated before serving.   I can envision weens and gravy upon the altar...

HAYUHMAN!

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potsa-ra potsa-ra popsa ropsy poppa rassy jury...yeah, i wants me some of dat! i notice becks hasn't said much about plexus lately (they almost 100% cannot afford to buy it for themselves), but she has that and now toothpaste and junk jewelry- how many mlms can one person do at one time? he also tells the men that they can buy the jury for their cork-u-bine...he only needs someone to buy 500 pieces this month! then he can get a paycheck just like people who work 5-6-7 days a week! except he doesn't actually do any work, becky does. he just sits and eats and lies in bed. the end. cuz Jesus...or something.

sis may-really feeling the steroids today

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MLM or not, I would think the jewelry people would want their underlings to be able to spell Paparazzi.

Bro Gary, you (meaning Sis Becky) won’t move 500 pieces a month if nobody has any clue what company you represent. 

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10 hours ago, ChickenettiLuvr said:

Okay folks, I couldn't even take 20 seconds of either video. 

But I did ask Dr. Google about that ther toothpaste haymuhn.

Of course it's an MLM. Of course sketchy AF.  But I found the ingredients with an explanation and/or said analysis. 

My favorite one: Titanium Dioxide. Used to make white wall paint. Hmmm.

Can't figure out the link thingy... But it's from timelessvie@wordpress

Buscar AP 24 toothpaste. 

So let me see if I've got this right. The toothpaste contains an ingredient used to make white wall paint. The other day as I was looking at the picture of what were supposed to be Bro Gary's teeth, I thought they were a rather dull white (but white, not yellowish) white. Why am I now imagining that anyone using that toothpaste might as well just paint his or her teeth white? Gives you the same result. And now why am I picturing someone just using Liquid Paper to brush his or her teeth? The stuff is akin to paint, is it not?

Agh, crap. I need to go eat something cuz my mind can go weird places when I'm hungry. Weens and gravy are not on the menu here because (1) I have no weens in the house and (2) even thinking about them is nauseating. Nausea and hunger are a bad combination, y'all. HAY-MAYUN!

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I feel bad for Bro Gary on one level because the man is CLEARLY several crayons short of a Big Box and is being preyed upon by predatory companies who take advantage of his utter lack of thinking skills to make money at his expense.  But also

HOW MANY HOOPS ARE YOU GOING TO JUMP THROUGH TO AVOID GETTING A REAL JOB?!?  I mean seriously, at this point.  You clearly need a job.  Jesus is clearly telling you to get a job (HAYMAUYN!).  This MLM stuff isn't even working for you.  And yet here you go trying EVERYTHING possible to avoid admitting that you need to get work.  

At this point, it's willful denial.  You know what you need to do, you just don't want to do it.  And like a child, you're looking for a way out.

GET A JOB, GARY. 

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I know nothing about this but when families like this travel to preach, they re invited, right? And the Church that invites them would find someone to host them, right? Why is he trying to grift a free place to stay when they go to NC? Shouldn’t the the church put them up? They aren’t just... showing up uninvited, are they?

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2 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, I, for one, am glad that he is once again using that super flattering angle to make his videos.

  Reveal hidden contents

image.png.9aa29d309a84fe76fc400f024500d029.png

  Reveal hidden contents

image.png.00a9e1a929cfe752fc38dfe86688179f.png

HAYMAYUN!

PHWOAR! What a hunk!!

#lolnope #barf

It’d be so much better if he sat at a table and balanced the phone at an appropriate angle. Or he could get Becky to help. 

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I made it through about a minute of that video and I just couldn’t...this man is entertaining, but also infuriates me. I lost my job back at the beginning of February and my fiancé is paying all the bills and we haven’t taken out loans (yet) or asked anyone to give us money. We both know our families would buy us groceries and help here and there, but so far we are managing ourselves and are not/will never start begging. I spend my days job hunting, going on Interviews, and doing what I need to around our apartment and take care of our dog. Man the fuck up, get off the couch/bed, and go out and get a job for your kids! We are both women and doing better than him, but oh wait...that doesn’t count according to him does it?

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2 hours ago, CTRLZero said:

In reading the camp information, donated food is placed upon an altar and dedicated before serving.   I can envision weens and gravy upon the altar...

HAYUHMAN!

Well, that should ease my concerns about them serving home-canned foods that have been donated to the camp. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

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