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Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed


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55 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, it's been a while since Gary has shared any good weens, so here's a gem from his buddy Chuck, the "Christain":

Screenshot_2018-03-04-17-54-08-1.png.cddb033b705bb5c5f95bee55f08bab29.png

 

Hippos should NEVER be crated.  They are God's creatures and deserve to roam freely, protected within the safe confines of a church playground.  If I find out where these churches are that are crating hippos, I'm reporting them to the authorities!

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On 04/03/2018 at 1:12 AM, waltraute said:

"Some people say even cattle know when a man gets saved"  Bro Gary

Speaking on behalf of myself and Texas Heifer (if that is ok with you, my fine bovine Sister) I can confirm that us cattle DO know when a man will be saved.

I'll bet my udders, Bro Gary, that your chances are slim. Lying on your ass in your nasty, grubby clothes and shouting nonsense at people is not the way. Trust the Beef. HAAYMAAYUN to that.

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On 3/3/2018 at 2:34 PM, LovelyLuna said:

I shared the golden gift of Facebook live Bro Weens with Bro Luna.  He is now randomly spouting off random Heeeyman’s and Hallerrrrya’s.  After I said the Baruch over our Shabbat candles last night he said heyyman instead of Amen.  I think I may have created a monster.  :pb_lol:

In the last 24 hours on his own accord Bro Luna has said in passing:  ‘NEXT!’, ‘HeyMan’ and when the dish soap dispenser squirted on me he said, ‘Spouging Spurgeon!’ I have come to two conclusions; I have for sure created a monster, and I talk about what I read about on FJ far too much.  I already knew that my life partner was a clowning goof.  He doesn’t get my humor (thats what I have you guys for) but he is an adorable cutie for using my hobby to make my laugh.

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5 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

(Snip)so here's a gem from his buddy Chuck, the "Christain":

Screenshot_2018-03-04-17-54-08-1.png.cddb033b705bb5c5f95bee55f08bab29.png

 

What a hippocratic oaf!

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6 hours ago, Candydandy said:

Well folks it's hard for this sis to watch videos today and Im behind them all. Snow day for the kiddos so they sure dont need to see their mama watchin videos with haymuhn shoutin and all. Now theres nostrils, lip lickin and straining stained shirts. Where am I again??

Sis Candy

 

The Twilight Zone??

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Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Gary has a new business!!  He is selling teeth whitening toothpaste!  Wow!  A toothpaste that whitens your teeth!  What will he think of next??  This hard-to-find-item will be available soon with Gary's ironclad guarantee that it works!  Just ask his family, they noticed after 3 days that his teeth are looking so much better.

He will be making a live video about it soon.

Please, Gary, don't.  We've already seen up your nose and that was disgusting. 

DON'T.  You'll make us cry.

Coming up soon in his repertoire of lazy ass jobs...things that encase your feet and keep them clean and dry.

Here is a question for you, Gary.  You mentioned your "family teeth are getting white".  Are family teeth like the family bible?  Family home?   Asking for a friend.   5aa09ae315a66_ScreenShot2018-03-07at6_06_43PM.png.71dbd4d02d9752faadb95bb73886ce8e.png

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We are blessed with bro Gary’s teeth after 4 uses of the toothpaste.  Can’t you tell how much whiter they are?

9665D201-2E61-49A0-8F04-ABE437EDEFC3.thumb.png.411152dcd648609aa48daf9eaf8e80ac.png

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1 hour ago, Carol said:

He will be making a live video about it soon.

Please, Gary, don't.  We've already seen up your nose and that was disgusting.

Good thing he wasn't sent hemorrhoid cream.

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so is the family teeth's whitening due to a transfer of whitening through his umbrella of protection or because they have also used this product?  Based on the text it is hard to tell. 

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1 hour ago, Dandruff said:

Good thing he wasn't sent hemorrhoid cream.

:puke-huge::puke-huge::puke-huge:

Y’all are the BESTEST. Gary is the grossest.

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I was about to use the extreme teeth close up as my next avatar but decided not to,  since my teeth are definitely not white (apparently as a result of extreme antibiotic use as a kid!?). But I have to thank him for his newest videos, which inspired my new avatar and location. No shame in shopping at Walmarts, I shop there every week. I never hand out tracts, though.

I love his deer/outdoor/hunting curtain (sheet?) that's hanging behind him as I've recently moved to the mountains and have become a "mountain people." Also the fact that they're in Mississippi is close to my heart. I grew up there and still miss it every day. I feel sorry for Mississippi though, with Bro Ween preaching there. MS is good already; they don't need his brand of KJV Christianity.

 

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6 hours ago, Carol said:

Here is a question for you, Gary.  You mentioned your "family teeth are getting white".  Are family teeth like the family bible?  Family home?   Asking for a friend.   

It made me think of "family cloth". *cringes* 

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1 hour ago, PumaLover said:

..... my teeth are definitely not white (apparently as a result of extreme antibiotic use as a kid!?)....

 

Is this true? That would explain my horrible gnashers. I had put it down to eating too many bad weens.... 

And please, Bro Gary, no more internal body shots. I feel like I know you too well already..... there is only one orifice I haven't seen yet, and I'd like to keep it that way... 

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Thank you Dear Sisters in ween-i-ness, im sat in Airport Lounge laughing out loud and getting strange looks. Mr GS keeps on rolling his eyes at me. :cracking-up:

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This toothpaste is $20/tube, according to the Nu Skin website.  I had in-laws who were heavily involved in Nu Skin years ago.  It consumed them to the point where they didn't have time for anyone who wasn't interested in their "opportunity."  Another MLM.  

So, here's one evangelist's priorities:  

  1. Beg for a new RV
  2. Beg for preaching opportunities...to ask for money
  3. Post on Facebook to ask for support
  4. Live lie around all day in the basement of a church
  5. Eat weens and gravy
  6. Make your teeth white in three days with a product you can ill afford
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Well folks here goes my feelin sorry for bro. Begrifitng didnt work too well, Plexus must not be doing well, that cash back app must have flopped so what is next -whiter teeth! But seriously folks who is going to spend $20 on a tube of toothpaste? Not this sis! His followers can nary afford a love offering who thinks they can start shelling out $ for toothpaster? So why doesnt he look for a job? Are they staying in somebodys basement? How about starting a roadside weens and gravy stand? Can maybe expand to a weenmobile one day. I dont like to see people who need a job without one you know. 

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13 hours ago, keepercjr said:

We are blessed with bro Gary’s teeth after 4 uses of the toothpaste.  Can’t you tell how much whiter they are?

9665D201-2E61-49A0-8F04-ABE437EDEFC3.thumb.png.411152dcd648609aa48daf9eaf8e80ac.png

That is possibly what happens when you actually START to clean your teeth. To any one. 

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5aa1c4d5079f4_ScreenShot2018-03-08at3_12_52PM.png.fce27a43e6f148d0bd69c45aaa0a5ffc.png5aa1c4f7ae0e6_ScreenShot2018-03-08at3_12_19PM.png.ff5d822082da1d3eb393c6733ab418a6.png

I have some remarkable photos of Gary's teeth taken clandestinely at a couple of his revivals I attended.  The first one is from a revival two weeks ago, the second one is from one two days ago.  Look at how much whiter the second set look!!  The size of his grin in the second one show how much happier he is with his new teeth!!   The difference is astounding so I have ordered several tubes for myself and my family teeth. 

 

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HALLAYLUYER! Bro Ween is actually sitting upright in his newest video. I'm shocked. He keeps digging in his armpit, which is pretty distracting. 

image.png.67872e1afe7ca7915fc293f2d3eaf288.png

ETA The highlights: his phone rings a couple of times, and his ringtone sounds like the Dukes of Hazard.

He admits that he's fat.

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Did the glare from his radiantly gleaming white teeth make it hard to watch the video without sunglasses, @General Jinjur?

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6 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

HALLAYLUYER! Bro Ween is actually sitting upright in his newest video. I'm shocked.

That part was a real blessing. Less of a blessing was how he apparently refers to us all as "honey" now.

Praying for everyone overseas and "in" seas, (for those who didn't watch, yes, he said that)

Sis Coy

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8 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

HALLAYLUYER! Bro Ween is actually sitting upright in his newest video. I'm shocked. He keeps digging in his armpit, which is pretty distracting. 

image.png.67872e1afe7ca7915fc293f2d3eaf288.png

ETA The highlights: his phone rings a couple of times, and his ringtone sounds like the Dukes of Hazard.

He admits that he's fat.

What a blessing! It truly looks like he’s on the toilet in this photo. I think I prefer the reclining shots. 

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