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Bro Gary Hawkins 5: Preaching From The Basement In Bed


DaisyD

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Love the new title.8-)

Bro Gary, please don't look down at the screen. Your nostrils are still on display. Quit. 

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I agree about the new title.  I'm even happier that he's alone in that bed.

Sis Granwych of all that is Holy (and it don't include weens)

 

Just read about TImmie--guess God threw him back--

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I shared the golden gift of Facebook live Bro Weens with Bro Luna.  He is now randomly spouting off random Heeeyman’s and Hallerrrrya’s.  After I said the Baruch over our Shabbat candles last night he said heyyman instead of Amen.  I think I may have created a monster.  :pb_lol:

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Bro Gary has another video up. He’s pretty docile in this one but a good couple haymayuns make an appearance towards the end. He also says the only book God wrote was the KJV. He don’t need our help writin it. 

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"Some people say even cattle know when a man gets saved"  Bro Gary

I'd like to see the peer reviewed studies on that one.

Sis waltraute

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Look what I found at the store :pb_lol:

Pic isn't fabulous but RED WEENS, lmfao

 

No I did not buy them, but I (finally) got the hubs into the snarkfest and we had a good laugh.

20180303_171041.jpg

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Ok folks, I am considering making a line of embarrassment pillows for us all to hide behide whilst we torture ourselves watching G-Haw pontificate about his nonsense du jour.

I somehow managed to get through the Licky Lips video...did anyone else notice that one of his HAYMAYUNs was really high-pitched, like the LORD done came up and grabbed Gary's 'nads?

Also, Bro Tex said "reptobate" sounds like something a lonely lizard would do.

Yours in Cringe,

Sis Tex

 

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In response to what @Granwych said on the last thread, shouting out swear words isn’t actually a characteristic in all cases of Tourette’s. It’s a common misconception (probably because cussing is taboo so the idea of someone randomly yelling FUCK is “funny/naughty”) but it’s only present in about 10% of Tourette’s sufferers. We’d be more likely to notice physical tics. I’m not doubting Granwych’s anecdote though. 

I’m also interested in how cows know if a person is saved. If one of us (an atheist would be best in this instance) stood next to Gary and we were both facing a cow, I doubt the cow would take any notice of either of us...

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14 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

Also, Bro Tex said "reptobate" sounds like something a lonely lizard would do.

 

 

I am dead laughing. I started hiccuping, all his fault. :pb_lol:

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24 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

 

I’m also interested in how cows know if a person is saved. If one of us (an atheist would be best in this instance) stood next to Gary and we were both facing a cow, I doubt the cow would take any notice of either of us...

I sincerely doubt cows can tell if someone is saved, and idk how they'd show that if they could. But if you were standing in front of a cow they probably would notice you. Cows are curious, "like cats" my dad says. They do seem to notice strangers, or unusual happenings. They'll poke their heads into truck windows and things like that. 

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Huge Hallelooyers to Sis @smittykins for the tip on 8 hours of Robert Tilton. I've filed that away for future bouts of boredom. 

I wonder... does PP know he has competition?

It's the Church of the Holy Conference Room. What in the heckity heck is wrong with those five stoopid sheeple? S.M.H. for darn sure.

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1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

I’m also interested in how cows know if a person is saved. If one of us (an atheist would be best in this instance) stood next to Gary and we were both facing a cow, I doubt the cow would take any notice of either of us...

Perhaps Bro has a special rapport with livestock?  Might be a good match on an intellectual level, and for all we know he grew up on a farm.

Does the KJV say it's OK to preach to the masses while you're on your ass in bed?  Seems a tad immodest to me and potentially defrauding (as if), so I thought I would inquire.

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30 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Does the KJV say it's OK to preach to the masses while you're on your ass in bed?  Seems a tad immodest to me and potentially defrauding (as if), so I thought I would inquire.

Bro looks pretty covered up to me, not that I want to scrutinize any more than necessary.

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2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Cows are curious, "like cats" my dad says. They do seem to notice strangers, or unusual happenings. They'll poke their heads into truck windows and things like that. 

"Curiousity killed the cow"? I guess that explains all the all-beef weens...

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Bro Gary's whole nonchalant act cracks me up every time. "Well...if you ain't borned again...I don't care" and that kind of thing that he's always saying. It's like seeing a...God, I don't even know. I'm trying to think of a really stupid animal that I can use for an analogy here, but I can't think of one stupid enough. I used to have guinea pigs, and they were absolute morons, but I can't say guinea pig because I love those cute little idiots so much, and I can't compare Gary to them. But basically,  it's just hilarious seeing the biggest moron alive trying to act like he's too smart for the rest of us plebes, and can do nothing but shrug his shoulders at the rest of our idiocy.

PS: Here's when I first admitted to myself what absolute non-geniuses guinea pigs are. I gave my little guy some treats in his dish, which was on a ledge above the lower part of his cage, and accessible to him by a ramp (depicted on the right). He went up there for his food all the time. Well, he happened to be on the other side of the lower level at the time, and he saw the treats but could NOT figure out how to get to them. There was a plastic igloo in the way, even if he'd been able to jump up to the higher level without using the ramp, as he tried so hard to do. This poor little guy threw an absolute fit until I grabbed him (against his will) and put him up on the loft right next to his treats.guineapig2.thumb.png.bda2a95d8c6c63ac50d922056e653f99.pngI imagine Bro Gary would be the same way about weens.

 

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Except according to Bro Gary, it’s “bornded again.” Is it chickens or turkeys that are supposedly so dumb they’ll look up in a rainstorm and drown? Whichever it is, that’s his spirit animal. 

59 minutes ago, Coy Koi said:

Bro Gary's whole nonchalant act cracks me up every time. "Well...if you ain't borned again...I don't care" and that kind of thing that he's always saying. It's like seeing a...God, I don't even know. I'm trying to think of a really stupid animal that I can use for an analogy here, but I can't think of one stupid enough. I used to have guinea pigs, and they were absolute morons, but I can't say guinea pig because I love those cute little idiots so much, and I can't compare Gary to them. 

 

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20 minutes ago, Lillymuffin said:

Is it chickens or turkeys that are supposedly so dumb they’ll look up in a rainstorm and drown?

Given the numerous occasions we have looked up HIS nostrils, he might wanna get a flotation device.

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8 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

Given the numerous occasions we have looked up HIS nostrils, he might wanna get a flotation device.

Thanks sis. You almost made me choke to death on my coffee.

ETA My chickens are brilliant. Waaaaay smarter than Bro Ween.

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He also has this really awful thing that he does that I would would expect from  a sophomore taking their first philosophy class but should soon outgrow - where he says things like, I don’t care if you I agree or disagree, it’s still the truth. 

 

Uhhhh okay. Great persuasive rhetoric there. 

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I thought he said that cats could tell if a person got bornded agin, not cattle (oops)! I’m not sure my cat would notice a change in my belief structure unless it knocked her off the top god-spot, or maybe changed her food or feeding schedule. 

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11 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Thanks sis. You almost made me choke to death on my coffee.

ETA My chickens are brilliant. Waaaaay smarter than Bro Ween.

My chickens are pretty savvy, too.   I refuse to feed them weenies, heaven knows what their eggs would be like.

7 hours ago, Jellybean said:

I thought he said that cats could tell if a person got bornded agin, not cattle (oops)! I’m not sure my cat would notice a change in my belief structure unless it knocked her off the top god-spot, or maybe changed her food or feeding schedule. 

My cat wouldn't care so long as she got fed, and rightly so--she knows that she's the deity, and I'm the slob handling the food and the litter box.

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Well folks it's hard for this sis to watch videos today and Im behind them all. Snow day for the kiddos so they sure dont need to see their mama watchin videos with haymuhn shoutin and all. Now theres nostrils, lip lickin and straining stained shirts. Where am I again??

Sis Candy

 

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Ok folks, it's been a while since Gary has shared any good weens, so here's a gem from his buddy Chuck, the "Christain":

Screenshot_2018-03-04-17-54-08-1.png.cddb033b705bb5c5f95bee55f08bab29.png

 

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Normally I would assume "autocorrect strikes again," but with Bro Gary...not so much. :pb_lol:

 

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