Dillards 51: Making Play Look Complicated

[Markie]

I just wondered how Derrick's pray for the gays church service went? It was this past Sunday, right? 

[2manyKidzzz]

36 minutes ago, Markie said:

I just wondered how Derrick's pray for the gays church service went? It was this past Sunday, right? 

I think I wonder if any members of the LGBT community would have attended. I can’t believe anyone would. 

[Gillyweed]

21 minutes ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

I think I wonder if any members of the LGBT community would have attended. I can’t believe anyone would. 

It would be horrible if someone who is closeted was forced to attend by their family 

[feministxtian]

About that "code switching" thing...I grew up in linguistic confusion. My mother spoke Spanish, my father spoke German and I took French for a couple of years. Catholic high school, had to pray at the beginning of each class..in French class, I'd start in French, switch to German and finish in Spanish. I dropped French. Both my parents would forget how to say something in their native language and switch to English. My mother spoke Spanglish most of the time. Watch a George Lopez routine...yup, I grew up with that! 

Re: Cultural Appropriation - My grandson calls his aunt (my daughter) Tia. To the grandkids we are "Nona and Poppa" (the other 2 grandkids are my daughter's kids, they call my sons "Tio") And, no I don't know how to make the accent marks on the computer cuz it's just one more piece of information to force into an overloaded brain. 

Personally, I don't give a shit what JillyMuffin and Dwreck do or say...I just really wish they'd STFU and get lost in the jungle. 

[HarleyQuinn]

Well, I hope it was a bust and no LGBT youth was forced to attend or wandered in. 

I'd hope for them to get a clue and stop being so hateful too but that will never happen.

[CarrotCake]

My cousins started using the Flemish words for Grandpa and Grandma for our mutual grandparents to differentiate them from their other grandparents. Even though our whole family is Dutch and not Belgian. It kind of stuck because all of my cousins used those words for our grandparents. I always had one Opa/Oma pair and one Bonpa/Bonma pair.

Actually my cousins kids now call my aunt (so their grandma) Bonma as well. Although until now, she is the only cousin where they continued this tradition.

[Four is Enough]

20 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

I can't swear to the Philippines, but Auntie is an honorific for older women in quite a few parts of the world. I see that out of context it might not have the same connotations, I don't know.

My grandfather is in a stroke ward at the moment (), and there is one West African nurse in particular who calls him Papa. I don't know exactly how he feels about it, as he can't speak, but it really reassures his 80-something white Londoner wife. She takes it as an indication that he is being properly cared for.

Maybe, then, I'm looking at this from the wrong direction. I can take "auntie" or "grandmother" from someone who is of another culture, and who clearly means to be respectful.

BUT: when my son was in therapy, and we parents had to be in with him, the therapist, who insisted on being called "Dr. Therapist", called Mr. Four and me "Dad" and "Mom". I insisted that she could call me "Mrs. Four" OR my first name, but since I was not her mother, I did not want her calling me "mom". I've always found people calling me "mom" to grind on my nerves.

She said I was "overly resentful" about it. I said, if I was paying her for the therapy, she ought to know and use the name that was written on the checks, and not be so dismissive of my wishes.

[PennySycamore]

My maternal granddaughter calls her dad’s dad Opa even though he has no German  heritage that I know of.  My sister is Nona because her daughter spent a semester in Italy.  

Does anyone know the Hindi word for grandfather?

[AprilQuilt]

17 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

BUT: when my son was in therapy, and we parents had to be in with him, the therapist, who insisted on being called "Dr. Therapist", called Mr. Four and me "Dad" and "Mom". I insisted that she could call me "Mrs. Four" OR my first name, but since I was not her mother, I did not want her calling me "mom". I've always found people calling me "mom" to grind on my nerves.

ewww, no, I feel like that's a whole other thing! It's just defining you in relation to the patient. I actually find that if not dehumanising then at least depersonalising, like they just can't be f*cked to remember your name. And anyway, it's rude to continue doing it when you have asked them not to, whatever the initial intention.

I presume in this kind of situation it's been established that you are the kid's mother, but in general I find it really stupid to assume that a child's caregivers are necessarily 'mum and dad'. I have a sister 20 years younger than I am, and the number of times people addressed me as 'mum' when I took her along to things... It was confusing for her (when little) and annoying for me to have to pause and explain our 'interesting' family, and that's in a situation where she lived with her bio parents. Not all kids have loving, safe, reliable, secure relationships with 'mum and dad'. Do they then feel that their family falls short, because they are parented by aunts/grandparents/siblings/fosterers?

[onekidanddone]

Disgusting. Just disgusting

Oh and this. Would somebody please teach Jill about hash tags? 

 

[SassyPants]

4 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

Disgusting. Just disgusting

Oh and this. Would somebody please teach Jill about hash tags? 

 

Without a major attitude adjustment, DD is going to have a hard time ever securing and sustaining a family supporting job.

[onekidanddone]

7 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Without a major attitude adjustment, DD is going to have a hard time ever securing and sustaining a family supporting job.

There is so much I could scream at him about, but what would be the point. He is just a ReThug parrot with no soul.

[SorenaJ]

Ew, ew, ew. go shove a lego up your arse you prick

[HarleyQuinn]

Derick, if you are reading here I just want to let you know that I'm sorry about your small penis. 

[Cleopatra7]

40 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

Disgusting. Just disgusting

Oh and this. Would somebody please teach Jill about hash tags? 

 

I don’t see why Derick is so offended, when the Duggars have been using their kids to push a radical agenda for at least twenty years now and are continuing with the next generation.

[onekidanddone]

8 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

I don’t see why Derick is so offended, when the Duggars have been using their kids to push a radical agenda for at least twenty years now and are continuing with the next generation.

Jill needs a new hashtag #i'mmarriedtoafirstclassshit-weasel 

[singsingsing]

Be careful, everyone! If you disagree with Derick you might hurt his feelings and then Cathy will have to come and tell you that a lot of assumptions are being made here!!

[onekidanddone]

5 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Be careful, everyone! If you disagree with Derick you might hurt his feelings and then Cathy will have to come and tell you that a lot of assumptions are being made here!!

She is getting out her wooden spoon as we speak.

[libgirl2]

You know, I really expected better of Derick when he first showed up. I bet Jill did too. 

[candygirl200413]

Like what did he think his 5 second job on counting on was for?!

[onekidanddone]

Derick, we know you read here so listen you little coward. Hiding behind your former Duggar fame isn't working for you anymore. Now you are lashing out at traumatized teenagers. They are a million times stronger than you will ever be.

 

[singsingsing]

Derick has a history of picking on teenagers. A grown man making a habit of attacking vulnerable underage kids on social media is pathetic, and such a man would have to have pretty serious issues. Rethink your life, Derick. Is this seriously how you want to be known? 

[Calypso]

On 2/27/2018 at 10:21 AM, Four is Enough said:

When I was having my recent surgery,, one Filipino nurse in particular constantly called me, "Auntie (my name)" It was a little off putting, but I figured it was meant as a respectful term, as I was old enough to be his grannie.. and since the words "Ms" and "ma'am" don't seem to have a place there. I wonder, though, if the tables were turned, how his REAL grannie would feel being called "auntie" by ME!

I actually really like this and would use "auntie" if it was appropriate for me to do so. I work as a caregiver and am always at a loss for what to call my elderly residents. "Ma'am" seems much too formal for people I work with that closely with while "hun" or variations are inappropriate for women 60+ years older than me. Obviously I call them by their names but it would be nice to find a term of endearment that I could use on occasion

[Four is Enough]

6 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

ewww, no, I feel like that's a whole other thing! It's just defining you in relation to the patient. I actually find that if not dehumanising then at least depersonalising, like they just can't be f*cked to remember your name. And anyway, it's rude to continue doing it when you have asked them not to, whatever the initial intent

This, this, a thousand times this!!

14 minutes ago, Calypso said:

I actually really like this and would use "auntie" if it was appropriate for me to do so. I work as a caregiver and am always at a loss for what to call my elderly residents. "Ma'am" seems much too formal for people I work with that closely with while "hun" or variations are inappropriate for women 60+ years older than me. Obviously I call them by their names but it would be nice to find a term of endearment that I could use on occasion

I have never, ever been insulted by someone younger or older calling me "Miss My first name". It's respectful and slightly intimate, and for a caregiver, I would find it appropriate. I despise hearing "hon" or "dearie" or "sweetie" from someone younger. I find it disrespectful.. so "Miss Me" and "ma'am" are JUST FINE.

Besides, you can get a little sassy or silly with the "ma'am", depending on how you say it..

 

[ViolaSebastian]

19 minutes ago, Calypso said:

I actually really like this and would use "auntie" if it was appropriate for me to do so. I work as a caregiver and am always at a loss for what to call my elderly residents. "Ma'am" seems much too formal for people I work with that closely with while "hun" or variations are inappropriate for women 60+ years older than me. Obviously I call them by their names but it would be nice to find a term of endearment that I could use on occasion

This is where I find the southern convention of calling older people who are closer than a "Mrs. So and So" and "Mr. So and So" relationship comes in handy. Calling someone "Miss Lucille" or "Mr. Bob" hits that spot between respect and familiarity in a nice way.