Lori Alexander 39: Civilization breaks down because...women

[feministxtian]

My hubby wouldn't know "romance" if it bit him in the ass!! BUT...bringing me coffee, doing ALL the heavy lifting these days, preferring to drive me where I need to go (I can drive) because he doesn't want me to strain my neck or back, who has put up with me for the last 20 years (there's times I don't like living with me)...well folks, that's LOVE. What the man sees in me is beyond me. But, whatever it is has kept him here for this long...

[Frog99]

I love how so many of you have defined love on your own terms, in ways that work for yoi and your SO’s. 

Loriken are missing love and depth in their relationship. They have a marriage based on rules and expectations. She married him for his earning potential and his fitness as a father and provider. I might feel sorry for her if it wasn’t so intentional. 

[Fascinated]

There are a lot of Christians reading and commenting on this thread. And I have some honest questions for you. How often do you think about, or read, the Bible?  How much does any such reading influence you on a day-to-day basis?  It seems like so many people we follow do nothing that isn’t related to their religious beliefs. I‘m not sure if that is actually the case, or if that it is just what they choose to put online, possibly in order to proselytize to the masses.  I’m genuinely curious about this.

 

[feministxtian]

4 minutes ago, Fascinated said:

There are a lot of Christians reading and commenting on this thread. And I have some honest questions for you. How often do you think about, or read, the Bible?  How much does any such reading influence you on a day-to-day basis?  It seems like so many people we follow do nothing that isn’t related to their religious beliefs. I‘m not sure if that is actually the case, or if that it is just what they choose to put online, possibly in order to proselytize to the masses.  I’m genuinely curious about this.

 

I'll bite

Bible reading: Daily. 

How much does it influence me: Quite a bit. My favorite passage of scripture is Matthew 25:31-46. See, the one I claim to follow told me to LOVE one another as He has loved me. Its not easy at times (currently debating a Trumpanzee on FB) but I try. I attempt to live out what I believe more than I talk about it (a good thing since my usual vocabulary can make a sailor blush). 

My understanding of marriage from the bible is this: God created mankind. Male and Female He created them. So...if God created men AND women, He had a damn good reason. Each one has a different function, but that's individual, based on the talents and abilities bestowed on each by God. A truly complementary marriage is sort of like putting a puzzle together...his dents fit my pokey thingies. My dents fit his pokey thingies. What I suck at, he's good at. What he sucks at, I'm good at. Individually we are not complete...together we are. 

I do not proselytize on FB or anywhere else. If you ask, I'll tell. Otherwise, I try to just live what I believe. I'm definitely not perfect at it, I'm rude, profane, nasty, sarcastic and ugly just as much as the next person. However, I try to learn from where I screw up and do better...

I feel an intense need to pass on the things that I've been blessed with...from living in hubby's Expedition with my cats to having a home and no longer needing welfare assistance...I am blessed. So, instead of keeping all the goodies for myself, I have an intense need, almost a compulsion to help others that are in the same boat. If I know of an inexpensive place to live, I'll try to hook you up. Your fridge is bare? No problem, I'll fill it for you. You need clothes...well, if you're not my size, we'll go to Saver's. Need a DVD player? No sweat, we have 3. A ride? no problem there. 

But maybe I'm not really a Christian since I'm not a selfish, self-centered, legalistic bitch. 

[Lgirlrocks]

If you click on the link in her blog post, about Valentine’s Day causing divorce, with divorced statistics it says the page cannot be found. 

[Fascinated]

Thanks, @feministxtian,  I have definitely noticed that you aren’t averse to using profanity, which I love about you  .  Seriously, thanks for your reply. I really am curious about this because, as I said, I can’t always tell how much religion plays a part in actual daily life, as opposed to some people’s online presence.  When I read Lori, for example, there ansol7is nothing unrelated to her beliefs. I always wonder if that is how she (and so many others) is in her daily life, or whether it is just when she is ‘teaching’ us women online. Does she ever think of, or talk about, anything else?  

[feministxtian]

Thanks @Fascinated I can cuss pretty fluently in English and Spanish. I really should clean up my mouth but old habits die hard. AND...as I told a "holy roller" who decided to bitch at me about my mouth...Jesus' disciples were fishermen. I doubt seriously that they said "oh gosh, golly gee willikers" when salt water got into the cuts from the nets on their hands. I've known a few professional fishermen, mostly scallop boat types, and well, they can make a US Navy sailor blush and maybe even a Marine blush. 

My faith impacts my life in every area...but I'm not given to talk a lot about it. I don't fit the stereotype of a fundamentalist Christian (which I am, from a theological point of view, but I don't buy into the whole marriage of Evangelical Christianity and current GOP politics...there's something in the bible about that and it doesn't have a happy ending), and I believe actions speak a helluva lot louder than words (see 2 Corinthians 13 about that). 

[SuperNova]

@feministxtian there have been several studies linking swearing to honesty and integrity. Given your liberal sprinklings of profanity, it's safe to say you're the most honest person here! Joking aside, you do come across as a genuine person and Christian that walks the talk.

Heres a link if you're curious:

http://www.newsweek.com/swearing-associated-honesty-verbal-intelligence-539156

[slp]

1 hour ago, Fascinated said:

There are a lot of Christians reading and commenting on this thread. And I have some honest questions for you. How often do you think about, or read, the Bible?  How much does any such reading influence you on a day-to-day basis?  It seems like so many people we follow do nothing that isn’t related to their religious beliefs. I‘m not sure if that is actually the case, or if that it is just what they choose to put online, possibly in order to proselytize to the masses.  I’m genuinely curious about this.

 

bible reading:  Try to do it daily, but sometimes I can't make it happen.  (for example, I have the flu right now and don't see the point in trying to read through my fever induced haze_)

I have lots of favorite passages, but a few that I really try to live out are:

I John 3:17 "But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?"  So we don't have a lot... I have 6 kids still at home, the ex husband is a deadbeat dad, and my parents pay my bills til I take my state boards for practical nursing next month and get a job.  But if I see someone hungry, I'll use my EBT to buy them a jug of water and a sandwich.  We donate all our old clothes to Goodwill or Salvation Army.  if I have spare money and someone needs something, I try to give it.

 

I John 4: 7-8 "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. "  And the definition of love is 1 Corinthians 13 "Lpve is patient, love is kind... etc"    This is one I'd like Lori to explain how she lives out... b/c from where I'm sitting, she does NOT act in love.

 

Like a previous poster, I do not actively proselytize.  I don't 'door knock' or pass out tracts.  I live my life, I behave the way I feel Christ would want me to and I try to teach my kids that the way we treat others is very important.  I don't believe in shunning my kids if they don't agree with me on beliefs systems.  If someone asks, I will tell them about Jesus. I won't shove it down your throat, but I will pray for you privately.

 

It's been a hard 4 years being a single mom of 7 all of a sudden, and having every belief I held to questioned and most of them pitched (we were pretty hard core fundie), but as God promises in II Corinthians 12:9 (yes, Michelle Duggar's favorite verse, but oh well.), " My grace is sufficient for you..."  My circumstances don't change just b/c I love God or pray or read my Bible, but He gives me the strength to get through life.  

[KDA]

2 hours ago, Fascinated said:

There are a lot of Christians reading and commenting on this thread. And I have some honest questions for you. How often do you think about, or read, the Bible?  How much does any such reading influence you on a day-to-day basis?  It seems like so many people we follow do nothing that isn’t related to their religious beliefs. I‘m not sure if that is actually the case, or if that it is just what they choose to put online, possibly in order to proselytize to the masses.  I’m genuinely curious about this.

 

I am a Christian and read my Bible pretty much daily. Sometimes all I read is a couple of verses, but sometimes, that is enough. I usually pray before bed, rarely in the morning (I want to, but I always go to bed so late that I hit snooze on the alarm lots and run out of time.) I don't really think about the Bible as I go about my day, though, unless I have a particular reason to do so. I also attend church regularly. My Christian beliefs (the Bible) underpin much, although not all, of what I do, and I love love love the peace and serenity that comes with serving God.  I do  not claim to be a very "good" Christian (I write naughty books, and I work outside the home, so I will never hold up to "good" Christians standard of Godliness) but I love the Lord and do my very best to honour Him in the way that I live my life, and in the way that I treat others.

Many better Christians than me have questioned how I can write naughty books yet be a Christian, and all I can say is: serving the Lord is a personal issue, to do with the heart. If someone believes writing or reading naughty books is a sin, they shouldn't do it. I don't happen to believe it is a sin. I write fiction, for mindless entertainment. Not a guide book for life.

 

[feministxtian]

35 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

@feministxtian there have been several studies linking swearing to honesty and integrity. Given your liberal sprinklings of profanity, it's safe to say you're the most honest person here! Joking aside, you do come across as a genuine person and Christian that walks the talk.

Heres a link if you're curious:

http://www.newsweek.com/swearing-associated-honesty-verbal-intelligence-539156

I've read those studies...and well...considering my vocabulary...and it's not "liberal sprinklings", I'd call my vocabulary a veritable deluge of biblical proportions of profanity...

From the Newsweek article:

Past research has suggested that swearing may also be a sign of increased intelligence. A 2016 study found that individuals with higher levels of verbal intelligence, that is intelligence associated with oral language, tended to use more swear words.

“Taboo or ‘swear word’ fluency is positively correlated with overall verbal fluency. The more words you generated in one category meant the more words you generated in another category, orally and verbally,” Dr. Timothy Jay, of the Department of Psychology at Massachusetts College Of Liberal Arts and author of the study, previously told Medical Daily .

I must be a fucking genius!!!!!!

Don't want to sound egotistical here but one of my best friends is an avowed atheist. She tells people that I'm the only "real" Christian she knows. Guess I'm doing something right  

Anyway...you're making me blush here...thank you for your kind words.

ONE MORE THING...

@slp you're absolutely awesome!!!! Sending you love and prayers and hope for the future. If there's anything I can help with long distance, PM me...

[slp]

21 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

ONE MORE THING...

@slp you're absolutely awesome!!!! Sending you love and prayers and hope for the future. If there's anything I can help with long distance, PM me...

Thank you, I appreciate it.  You can certainly pray I get well soon, this flu is kicking my tail.

[EowynW]

"I know women aren't emotionally intelligent" LMAO speak for yourself, bitch. 

 

 

[Fascinated]

Looks like Lori lost interest in Jocelyn after her revelation that she was a career woman. 

[Pammy]

9 hours ago, Fascinated said:

There are a lot of Christians reading and commenting on this thread. And I have some honest questions for you. How often do you think about, or read, the Bible?  How much does any such reading influence you on a day-to-day basis?  It seems like so many people we follow do nothing that isn’t related to their religious beliefs. I‘m not sure if that is actually the case, or if that it is just what they choose to put online, possibly in order to proselytize to the masses.  I’m genuinely curious about this.

 

I read the Bible a reasonable chunk many days, and at least a little every day (as long as audiobooks count as reading). It's odd to think about "just" the  Bible as a topic I might think about, or as a practice that might influence me... it's more of a "whole religion" package deal in my life.

On the one hand, I'm not constantly pondering this-or-that passage of the Bible. On the other hand, thr Bible profoundly informs and influences my spirtual life -- and everything I do involves my heart and mind. So, in a lot of ways the influence of the Bible is fully infused in all of the ways I perceive reality and interact with the world.

Does that mean that I "do nothing that isn't related to my religious beliefs"? Well kind of, yeah? Unless I'm being completely passive, I'm being myself.

I also work at a Bible college, so I probably do think about the Bible itself quite a bit more than average.

[SongRed7]

15 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Can't any of these people just be nice for its own sake? It always seems so conditional.

I know...the more crazy I read from them, the more I have to wonder about all these "godly" marriages.  They seem to be a struggle from day one, like they don't even like each other with all the control issues (on both sides) condescension (on both sides) and slave/master issues (again on both sides).  Whatever happened to two people who like/love each other, open communications and joint purposes in life.  They go into in like marriage it is a bad thing to be endured, armed for battle --  not something they entered into willingly because they cared about each other. 

They don't make a good case for marriage. Sure even, great marriages can struggle sometimes, but the way Lori and crew make it out, its something awful from day one until one can find detente by the woman becoming a lobotomized domestic servant -- nothing more, nothing less.  

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Glad you got the emotional intelligence shot!! I can't believe she has never heard of that term!! There has been so much written about it in the past 20 years. But when you stay at home under a rock....

[EowynW]

38 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

 I know...the more crazy I read from them, the more I have to wonder about all these "godly" marriages.  They seem to be a struggle from day one, like they don't even like each other with all the control issues (on both sides) condescension (on both sides) and slave/master issues (again on both sides).  Whatever happened to two people who like/love each other, open communications and joint purposes in life.  They go into in like marriage it is a bad thing to be endured, armed for battle --  not something they entered into willingly because they cared about each other. 

They don't make a good case for marriage. Sure even, great marriages can struggle sometimes, but the way Lori and crew make it out, its something awful from day one until one can find detente by the woman becoming a lobotomized domestic servant -- nothing more, nothing less.  

My husband and I were talking about this the other day. We both grew up in fundie homes. We both realized after we got married that we were taught gender roles and "jobs" for marriage, and how "hard" it would be and how the purpose was children, etc. but neither of us were taught how to "be married" in that beautiful best friend/one flesh way that marriage is supposed to be. We were never taught about the lovely stuff. The soul bonding stuff. The mutual respect and honor stuff. 

[HoneyBunny]

I am a Christian. I am a Catholic, one of the first Christians (added as a FU to those Evangelicals we snark on who don’t believe Catholics are Christians).  I have never read the Bible. Never. (I did get great comfort from reading the Psalms when I was going through severe depression). Frankly, there is nothing I see in the actions of public figures who claim to be readers and followers of the Bible that makes me want to emulate them. I believe the Bible was way more written by men than inspiresd by God, and contains some pretty awful stuff that has been used to cause much suffering through the ages. I’m sorry if that offends some Bible readers here, but it’s what I believe.  

I try - in every interaction every single day - to live by the Golden Rule. I am a very good person who would never pass that ridiculous Good Person Test, and I’m damn proud of that. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

52 minutes ago, EowynW said:

lovely stuff. The soul bonding stuff. The mutual respect and honor stuff. 

The stuff that makes every day --- even the awful horrible days -- better because you're together.

When you start with love, honor and respect (must have all 3) then everything else can be gotten through ..... or problem solved ....... or enjoyed... or laughed at ... or danced to ..... or cursed at ..... or whatever.

Gender roles are stupid,  Gender has nothing to do with whether I'm good at plastering (I am) or sewing or anything else I can do.  It certainly has nothing to do with Mr Dress being the Best. Vacuumer. Ever.

Marriage isn't hard, but marriage sometimes goes through hard bumpy times...... but the big 3 will get you through every time. At least it has worked for us.

Mr. Dress is my best friend, my sweetheart, my rock, my cheerleader.

And he's emotionally intelligent too.  Ha!! take that Lori.

 

[Sarah92]

Literally nothing Lori wrote today is found in the Bible. We don't know why Adam ate the fruit but many scholars do suggest that he was standing there watching the exchange doing nothing to stop it. However, we simply don't know. And just because you believe, Lori, that women are more gullible doesn't mean it's true. Please stop projecting your faults on to others. Nor are emotions evil and wrong. Heck read the Psalms, there's so much emotion. And emotional Intelligence is developed by everyone. I don't know if anyone is really born with it. According to Lori's view of mean one would assume they completely lack emotional intelligence as the "logical " ones and how she portrays them. 

Lori projects like crazy. I have never once believed that men should be treated with disrespect, called stupid, or considered incompetent like shows (written by men btw) portray them to be. I remember complaining about it at a young age. Just because Lori listened to something doesn't mean all will. And honestly, sometimes we do listen to things, take bad advice (like what Lori gives) and have to learn from it. It's part of life and the growing process. We have to move forward and not continue to dwell in past mistakes. 

Lori, please note that saying "a commentary that agrees with ME" doesn't lend to your credibility. I'm around commentaries and biblical dictionaries a lot  and can tell you that's not how it's supposed to work. Not all commentaries are the same and many have differing opinions. It's important to do research and evaluate commentaries from multiple sides. 

 

 

[lilwriter85]

13 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

If you click on the link in her blog post, about Valentine’s Day causing divorce, with divorced statistics it says the page cannot be found. 

I think that was the same blog post where said that women were too demanding with Valentine's Day presents or something. IIRC, the FJ responses to that were what led Ken to post here.

[jumpingjill]

Got Questions is a very reliable source for most biblical questions.---She mentions this in her post today.

I actually like the website Got questions for the most part as it can be though provoking.  

Apparently, she missed the passages on silence in church, women and careers, and feminism--some of which agrees with her to an extent and a lot of which disagrees with her.  These passages mention that women on certain levels don't have to be silent such as praying and prophesying which she disagrees with, that certain aspects of feminism are "ok," and women can have careers without sinning. I wonder what Lori thinks of that in the website she endorses.

[Liza]

On 14/02/2018 at 11:11 AM, Emilycharlotte said:

recently re-read all the posts from Ken's visit to FJ because I was a lurker then and didn't read here as often as I do now, which is way too often if I'm being honest.

@Emilycharlotte   I have been trying to find Ken's posts, but cannot, for ages.  Can anyone link me?  Really curious.  Thanks.  

[Koala]

25 minutes ago, Liza said:

@Emilycharlotte   I have been trying to find Ken's posts, but cannot, for ages.  Can anyone link me?  Really curious.  Thanks.  

Here it is:

He was here for several threads, but the end of each one will take you to the next.

He comes in on this page:

http://www.freejinger.org/topic/18868-lori-alexander-valentines-day-causes-divorce/?page=2