Lori Alexander 39: Civilization breaks down because...women

[feministxtian]

11 minutes ago, Hane said:

I always admired her for that:  she never put her husband down, but she didn’t settle for less in her own life.

That sounds familiar. Right after we got married, we both had low paying jobs. I took my last 150 bucks and registered for a class at the local community college. That was the class that opened doors for BOTH of us. One night these 2 guys came into our class and said they were re-starting the design co-op program at the shipyard and if we were accepted we'd get a free education and a job. I grabbed that option in a minute. Shortly after I got into the program they started a design trainee program. 3 months in the classroom and then 9 months on the floor. Came with a full benefit package and military were at the top of their preference list. I filled out an application for hub and told him to sign it. His interview was with someone who knew me...and the only question he was asked was "so, you're C's husband, right? How drunk were you???". We went from broke as shit to solidly middle class. It fell apart later but that's a different story. The thing is, we BOTH grabbed the opportunities that were right in front of us and ran with them. 

Later...after things went to shit, we both took advantage of other opportunities we were given. 

[SongRed7]

2 hours ago, Hane said:

What must Lori’s fangirls endure, if Hubby is happy working the bare minimum for a job that pays peanuts?

They would find a way to blame women for that, too.  We turned them all into lazy bums by our Jezebel attitudes, taking all the good jobs from men by not staying at home, and for nagging, controlling and general ingratitude for them just existing. 

[Emilycharlotte]

3 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Oh come on about the laughing smiling face! One laugh out of 50 or so hearts and likes and that woman is offended. I thought godly ladies weren't suppose to take offense so easily.  I can't see that guy's profile. The laugh thing is still up but I don't see his name.  Did anyone get a look? 

Check this out. Does this imply that if you mistakenly marry a bad man, then you are a bad mom? Lots of women make mistakes in who they chose...or he becomes bad later on. Our ability to be a good mom is based on our man. Who knew!

 

Lori and her ilk have intimated that if your husband is a jerk it's kind of on you, because you didn't choose wisely; if you did choose wisely, pat yourself on the back and feel superior.

Thus, even if forced to admit that the woman is not the problem in a particular marriage, you can still find a way to blame her for it.

[usmcmom]

10 minutes ago, Emilycharlotte said:

Lori and her ilk have intimated that if your husband is a jerk it's kind of on you, because you didn't choose wisely; if you did choose wisely, pat yourself on the back and feel superior.

Thus, even if forced to admit that the woman is not the problem in a particular marriage, you can still find a way to blame her for it.

I wonder how many times Ken and Lori's relatives reminded each of them "YOU CHOSE HIM!"  "YOU CHOSE HER!"  They had, what? Twenty three years of misery before Lori went all submissive?? They had to be complaining to others throughout that time. They chose each other, ran their marriage into a ditch then decided they were somehow qualified to tell others how to do it right. 

On another note; let us not forget that this holiday is what prompted one of Lori's more outrageous posts (well, at the time). Remember, everybody; Valentine's Day causes divorce!!  

[Sarah92]

Or if your husband is a jerk it's because you weren't submitting enough and it was making him go against his natural born head of household maleness. Therefore, he's grumpy and insulted. 

Can't any of these people just be nice for its own sake? It always seems so conditional. The husband will be nice because XYZ from wife. Or be nice to others if they fit XYZ. It's work-based theology. Lori wasn't nice to Ken and it had nothing to do with submission. It had everything to do with where her heart and mind was/is. 

Being kind and loving is about the heart. I'm daily surrounded by working women who just pour out love and grace towards others. My feminist friends are some of the gentlest, most compassionate people I know. You can see their passion for others. 

Oh and I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day but I get the impression that half of Valentine's Day is just putting in a little extra effort to let someone know they're appreciated. Goodness forbid either a husband or wife takes a few hours to put a little extra effort in. But what do I know? I think romance is doing the dishes together. 

[Frog99]

@usmcmom you’ve given me some reading to look forward to! I can’t wait to hear how Valentines Day causes divorce. 

As an aside, we are having pizza that DH will pick up tonight. I teach until 7, and the 8 year old has karate- won’t be done until after 8. I offered to make spaghetti but DH isn’t feeling that tonight. He will have a beer, I will have wine, and we will likely fall asleep watching the olympics. I have a small valentine for the kids but he and I don’t exchange cards or gifts. I know Lori and her leghumpers would tsk tsk that- they would say it’s putting the kids first but that is what works for us. We were also married for 8 years before our first was born and spent that one investing in ourselves, each other, and our marriage. 

[Petronella]

1 hour ago, Fascinated said:

‘he wanted in’?  That is nonsensical.  He wanted to join in?  He wanted to participate in your phenomenal eating habits?  You need a few more words there. 

I hate, hate, hate to defend loathsome Lori in anything, but "wanted in" is short for "wanted  in on" something and is a common phrase. Perhaps it's a regionalism? I've heard it all my life.

[Frog99]

Does anyone else think this is strange? I mean, I think workplace mission and value statements are good, but these are very basic. 

http://www.alexanderandsons.consulting/resources/2015/6/10/value-based-team-building 

[AuntKrazy]

Lori on Facebook:

Being romantic isn't a biblical quality required for godly manhood. It's more of an image that Hollywood portrays as a requirement for a "worthy" man.

I asked the women in the chat room if their husbands were very romantic, somewhat romantic, rarely romantic, or not romantic at all. Rarely romantic and somewhat romantic won hands down.

Why is this to be shared? I feel like this is akin to gossiping about their husband's failings and calling it and themselves  "good".  It's a twisted martyrdom piety - "we give this up to be godly" type of self talk.  And it just makes me pity these sad, miserable women,  It is possible to have a husband who is both Godly and romantic.  (I have one!)  And it's really disrespectful to go around social media talking about how one's husband fails to be romantic, imho.  All this does is disparage Ken and the husbands of Lori's followers, and demean their ability to love well.

Titus 2:3 New International Version (NIV)

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers . . .

Lori should stop slandering Ken and encouraging her followers to do so to their husbands too.

[usmcmom]

http://lorialexander.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/valentines-day-causes-divorce.html

Edit: I also grabbed a screen shot in case she scrubs it. 

[KDA]

11 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

Lori on Facebook:

Being romantic isn't a biblical quality required for godly manhood. It's more of an image that Hollywood portrays as a requirement for a "worthy" man.

I asked the women in the chat room if their husbands were very romantic, somewhat romantic, rarely romantic, or not romantic at all. Rarely romantic and somewhat romantic won hands down.

Why is this to be shared? I feel like this is akin to gossiping about their husband's failings and calling it and themselves  "good".  It's a twisted martyrdom piety - "we give this up to be godly" type of self talk.  And it just makes me pity these sad, miserable women,  It is possible to have a husband who is both Godly and romantic.  (I have one!)  And it's really disrespectful to go around social media talking about how one's husband fails to be romantic, imho.  All this does is disparage Ken and the husbands of Lori's followers, and demean their ability to love well.

Titus 2:3 New International Version (NIV)

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers . . .

Lori should stop slandering Ken and encouraging her followers to do so to their husbands too.

I absolutely agree with what you said, but at the same time, saying that our husbands are not romantic is not necessarily intended as a bad thing, or a matryrdom thing (although with Lori, it probably was).

I whinged on FB yesterday about how my husband doesn't do Valentine's Day - he reckons it's for people who are in the beginning stages of a relationship. But he makes it clear every day how much he loves me. Yesterday, after telling me he did not get me anything for Valentines day because he's been putting up with me for 15 years and I don't need a present to tell me he loves me, he stopped at McDonald's on the way home from work especially to get me an apple pie, simply because I love them. He's not romantic at all, but he does sweet gestures like this almost daily.

[ViolaSebastian]

53 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

Does anyone else think this is strange? I mean, I think workplace mission and value statements are good, but these are very basic. 

http://www.alexanderandsons.consulting/resources/2015/6/10/value-based-team-building 

Wow, that is a grammatical cluster fuck if ever I saw one. 

Quote

To do my best to integrate every member on them team into a cohesive group that does not have major “clicks” and exclusions of certain staff members

Bahahaha. Idiot. Does anyone know where Ken got his M.Div? He couldn't write his way out of a wet paper sack. 

ETA: Apparently he got an M.Div. from Biola. I checked out the website, and apparently their requirements is that you have a 2.6 GPA from your undergraduate degree--but no worries if you don't, because they'll accept you and put you in probation. Also, they'll accept people from unaccredited colleges. You're not required to write a thesis and can take six more elective units instead. Sounds like a quality program there, folks.

http://www.talbot.edu/degrees/master-of-divinity/

[Fascinated]

10 minutes ago, KDA said:

I absolutely agree with what you said, but at the same time, saying that our husbands are not romantic is not necessarily intended as a bad thing, or a matryrdom thing (although with Lori, it probably was).

I whinged on FB yesterday about how my husband doesn't do Valentine's Day - he reckons it's for people who are in the beginning stages of a relationship. But he makes it clear every day how much he loves me. Yesterday, after telling me he did not get me anything for Valentines day because he's been putting up with me for 15 years and I don't need a present to tell me he loves me, he stopped at McDonald's on the way home from work especially to get me an apple pie, simply because I love them. He's not romantic at all, but he does sweet gestures like this almost daily.

My husband has never really been what people would consider romantic. I used to blame it on his parents who, despite being married for a very long time, couldn’t stand each other. They never demonstrated any love for one another and I always felt this was why my husband was not demonstrative with his affection in the early days. As the years have gone on, though, he has become, what’s the word I’m looking for, downright sappy, which is romantic in itself.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me. We have been together since 1975. This year we will celebrate 40 years of marriage (we were very young haha).  But, no, he doesn’t ‘do’ Valentine’s Day. And I could not care less about that. 

And Lori needs to not talk about romance. She knows nothing about it. 

[AuntKrazy]

9 minutes ago, KDA said:

I absolutely agree with what you said, but at the same time, saying that our husbands are not romantic is not necessarily intended as a bad thing, or a matryrdom thing (although with Lori, it probably was).

I whinged on FB yesterday about how my husband doesn't do Valentine's Day - he reckons it's for people who are in the beginning stages of a relationship. But he makes it clear every day how much he loves me. Yesterday, after telling me he did not get me anything for Valentines day because he's been putting up with me for 15 years and I don't need a present to tell me he loves me, he stopped at McDonald's on the way home from work especially to get me an apple pie, simply because I love them. He's not romantic at all, but he does sweet gestures like this almost daily.

I believe that: You, the recipient of your husband's love, is who is important and who gets to determine what romance is to you.  I agree with everything you say - but I think Lori's attitude is slandering to Ken because she is not saying "romance is defined differently from what Hollywood says", but basically saying that "godly men" are not responsible for wooing their wives at all.  I guess it is part of what I have come to think of as "marital rape culture" - in that Lori seems opposed to the cultivation of genuine affection within marriage.  Sex is what the wife owes her husband in Lori's economy.  There is no element of affection or wooing of one another.

I personally don't think that trite prescribed behavior equals romance, and probably no one else would think my husband is "romantic"; but he communicates love and affection to me in so many ways.  To me, that is romance.  And I believe that if I were to define him as "unromantic" it would demean the effort he puts into our marriage and how actively he loves me.  

 

[jumpingjill]

Being romantic isn't a biblical quality required for godly manhood. It's more of an image that Hollywood portrays as a requirement for a "worthy" man.

I always thought Lori preached that you shouldn’t be making comments about men. Isn’t she making a comment about men in general? It sounds like she is preaching about what she thinks Godly Manhood is—but I thought men could only preach or teach something like this to other men? She is a WOMAN so why is she making comments about what a man should be.

I of course say this sarcastically. 

[Hisey]

27 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Wow, that is a grammatical cluster fuck if ever I saw one. 

Bahahaha. Idiot. Does anyone know where Ken got his M.Div? He couldn't write his way out of a wet paper sack. 

ETA: Apparently he got an M.Div. from Biola. I checked out the website, and apparently their requirements is that you have a 2.6 GPA from your undergraduate degree--but no worries if you don't, because they'll accept you and put you in probation. Also, they'll accept people from unaccredited colleges. You're not required to write a thesis and can take six more elective units instead. Sounds like a quality program there, folks.

http://www.talbot.edu/degrees/master-of-divinity/

Grad school certainly didn't teach him how to spell "cliques."

[KDA]

7 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

I believe that: You, the recipient of your husband's love, is who is important and who gets to determine what romance is to you.  I agree with everything you say - but I think Lori's attitude is slandering to Ken because she is not saying "romance is defined differently from what Hollywood says", but basically saying that "godly men" are not responsible for wooing their wives at all.  I guess it is part of what I have come to think of as "marital rape culture" - in that Lori seems opposed to the cultivation of genuine affection within marriage.  Sex is what the wife owes her husband in Lori's economy.  There is no element of affection or wooing of one another.

I personally don't think that trite prescribed behavior equals romance, and probably no one else would think my husband is "romantic"; but he communicates love and affection to me in so many ways.  To me, that is romance.  And I believe that if I were to define him as "unromantic" it would demean the effort he puts into our marriage and how actively he loves me.  

 

I actually never thought of Lori's attitude in the way you describe here but yes, I think you are absolutely correct. In so many of the comments on Lori's blog, I think many of those women also believe the same thing - that affection is not necessary, or is even bad, within marriage. Some of them just seem to be slaves, and seem resigned to that fact. 

I write romance novels, so I love the 'Hollywood romance' thing. But the love my husband has for me, and how he shows it, is far different from that. 

[ViolaSebastian]

27 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Grad school certainly didn't teach him how to spell "cliques."

Quote

He received an M.Div. and four years of graduate training in psychology, communications, human relations and public speaking from Biola University, in La Mirada, California. 

And four years of graduate training in psychology didn't teach consultant Ken Alexander that sexual molestation is totally not okay, either.

[usmcmom]

Ken had all that fancy schoolin'.  Lori was a teacher; yet that is what he puts forth as a "professional" document. 

Also, they homeschooled their children for at least a year. I am always unclear on that. Those poor kids seem to have been pulled in and out of various education settings every year.  Regardless, in my opinion, Ken and Lori placed very little value on proper learning for their children. 

[Briefly]

We got married and about 7 years later, we got divorced. A few months later, we realized that we had rushed into the divorce and started dating again and then we re-married. When we got back together, my husband/ex/husband again was putting himself through college and got his degree. He's an Electronics Engineer.  During that time, I always worked. When he was in the last part of school, he was not working and was going to school full-time. I happily supported us both.  Up until 2 years ago, he has always worked in his chosen field. Our daughter was born after we got back together, I worked for a year then we moved to Oklahoma and managed for me to stay home for the next year. When she went to elementary school, I started working just school hours.  About 2 years ago, my husband got laid off and there really are no jobs in this area for a 56-year old Engineer in electronics because very few items are actually repaired as it's cheaper to just replace them so he's been out of work since then and I am the breadwinner again, as opposed to working but he brought in more of our income. We have always had a side business as extra income and right now, it's his job. He works from home, I still work at my job. He does the laundry, runs the vacuum, keeps the house running while I'm at work.  And he doesn't mind, he does it willingly.  I am so tempted to comment all that on one of Lori's posts!  I won't, but I can imagine just what she would say.  She is dangerous. She is poisonous. She is evil.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

29 minutes ago, Briefly said:

She is dangerous. She is poisonous. She is evil.

Yes. Yes she is.

[BlackSheep]

Dear Lori,

My husband decided to surprise me tonight with a 4-course dinner. He wanted no help with cooking. He delivered the food to me and later, the dessert as well. He also bought one of my favorite beverages to enjoy with dinner - Lemon LaCroix.

I was grateful for all that he did and thanked him before the meal began, and during the meal, and afterward.

Do I expect or demand such treatment? No. The idea was all his own and his motivation was LOVE.

You should try LOVE in your words and actions. LOVE is absent in all that you do and say.

[Koala]

"It's so cool to be one of the popular girls!"  

Reader:

Quote

Where can I find the chat room?

Lori, Queen of the Cool Girls:

Quote

You must join and fill out an application. Then wait patiently while one of our administrators goes carefully through the many requests.

Is she kidding herself?  I am sorry, but what self respecting woman wants to be treated this way?  AT BEST, Lori is going to accept her, and then demand that she only tell her the things that she wants to hear.  If she doesn't like what she says, she will ban her, and hold her up to ridicule on her blog.

Further, this woman will be "monitored" by The Godly Mentor for a "majority of the day".  If Lori doesn't like a conversation she's having with another chat room member, she'll scold them like children, and demand that they stop.

Why anyone would subject themselves to such ridiculousness is absolutely beyond me.

[feministxtian]

We had a romantic evening here...dinner at a fancy restaurant called In and Out, a stop at Jared to get my rings cleaned and checked, a stop at CVS to get tegaderm to put over his insulin pump cannula (it goes in his tushie and his pants bump it) and home to watch Kenda and X-Files. 

This weekend I'm planning a Saver's run...clothes!!!

[SuperNova]

3 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

I personally don't think that trite prescribed behavior equals romance, and probably no one else would think my husband is "romantic"; but he communicates love and affection to me in so many ways.  To me, that is romance.  And I believe that if I were to define him as "unromantic" it would demean the effort he puts into our marriage and how actively he loves me.  

This is what it means to truly love someone. To see how your spouse communicates love and accept it for what it is. Mr. Nova is hardly the Hollywood romantic but it would be difficult to find a man more devoted to my happiness. 

That's what Lori and Ken are missing: love.