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Boyer Sisters Part 6: Two Left Limping Along


Coconut Flan

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1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

I think Jessica was deeply in love with the idea of getting married

She also had her heart set on being the first one married. Her wrote something about how she had it in her head since childhood that she would be the first one married. Her life had been built around the idea that not only would she get married but that she would be the first one married. Her parents really screwed up in how they raised the boyer sisters. 

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I think that if Jessica had something else to focus on, the Levi situation would have less sting now. 

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1 hour ago, Verbena said:

In response to which one Levi is, I’m almost positive he’s the one in that red tunic outfit. 

 

Correct.

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2 hours ago, Verbena said:

I’m almost positive he’s the one in that red tunic outfit. 

That's an ... interesting ... costume.  What's it supposed to be: medieval squire, knight missing his armor, hobbit, elf? 

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@Lurky I went trawling through their blog for the old posts since I wasn't sure about some of the details I thought that I remembered, and it looks like they've scrubbed the entire "Unexpected Journey" series, along with some of the later posts in the early aftermath. Boo. 

Since I can't point to a specific post anymore, I'll just throw out the proverbial "mea culpa!", and say that my perception of things has quite possibly been tainted by the ensuing years of Jessica's obsessive disappointment. My memory of the breakup was that Jessica was genuinely surprised when Levi ended things, and that the "we both had doubts" was a later development meant to save face. I just got caught up on this thread, and it looks like several others remember things exactly the way that you do, so clearly, my memory on the overall timeline was incorrect. I genuinely appreciation the re-direction on what happened.

This, so much this:

Quote

The bottom line is that for all the Fundies talking about Courtship protecting the Second Gen fundies, so they don't give away pieces of their hearts etc etc, it seems like Zach Bates/Nathan Bates/whichever Maxwell Elizabeth M escaped from/Jessica B etc etc etc prove it's probably worse than a secular break-up, because the weight of expectations is just ridiculous.

Even the families that are pickled in Kourtship Koolaid seem to have connections or experience with at least one failed relationship, yet they continue to promote the ideal as though it's somehow safer. The only thing that fundy courtship protects these sheltered kidults from is emotional maturity. It's not how much collarbone you show, whether you call it "dating", or how much time you spend alone that makes a relationship intense. Getting extremely emotionally invested in a potential mate can happen regardless of the clumsy window-dressing that fundies use to appear "set apart" from mainstream society. Pretending otherwise is potentially devastating to their courting-age children, and can be very damaging to their mental health even when both parties are equally interested in ending things. 

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@SolomonFundy I'm grinning at you/buying you a drink of your choice, because to be honest, the way both of us remember it could be right, or it could be a 3rd way completely, because I'm pretty sure they scrubbed the blog.   And I am confused by that decision, because Jessica refers to her heartbreak so often that it is confusing why she carries on talking about it, but has deleted her original story.  

Maybe in her real life she doesn't think about it much at all, but just references it in every other of her blogs, so reading this (hi Jessica!) she'd be horrified to think we're obsessed, but that's because she's not looking at the site from an objective point of view.  I totally can relate to being young, and getting caught up in my own personal legend, that this break up was X and Y, and not spotting how the way I tell it changes over time - but the difference is, my friends would call me on that, and I love them for it.

(My friends would be giving me tough love, with the emphasis on love, like "Lurky, you said yourself that you had different world-views, and that meant the relationship was incompatible - I know its hard, but it's actually a GOOD thing it finished, so you can move on and find someone more suited to you".  And then they'd either try to distract me, or make plans to move on.   The difference is that Jessica doesn't seem, from their site, to have friends her own age.  There are all the younger girls, Charlotte's friends, but the Boyer brand doesn't show Jessica with a peer group, even.

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54 minutes ago, Lurky said:

And I am confused by that decision, because Jessica refers to her heartbreak so often that it is confusing why she carries on talking about it, but has deleted her original story.  

Jessica's present story for the blog (and for marketing purposes) seems to be that she was grieviously abandoned and is now bereft.  Miss Havisham bravely sells essential oils because rubbing them on her tummy several times a day makes her closer to God.  She is a mentor for similarly bereft maidens.

Goodness knows what the truth is.  I'd rather like to think that Jessica is kicking up her heels and treading the light fantastic - and not endlessly perseverating about the guy who got away except for marketing purposes.

Come to think of it - why did the Boyers not sue poor Levi for breach of promise?  It seems like a no-brainer.  :laughing-jumpingpurple:

 

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On 13.2.2018 at 11:51 PM, amandaaries said:

Zsu and some of her acolytes are very into einkorn for baking.  The results are rather pale, but I've never tried it.  It seems big in that weird crossover area between hippies and "natural"-focused fundies.

 

On 12.2.2018 at 6:30 PM, Kariina said:

Such strange phrasing. I'm a little surprised they haven't started in on kombucha yet -- or maybe that counts as alcohol? Do we know if the Boyers imbibe? I will say, I'm all for kombucha. I just bought a practical growler of it yesterday. I haven't yet upgraded to actually brewing it at home (too busy to farm smelly microorganisms, thanks). In the meantime it would be amusing if the Boyers tried to make SCOBY look all adorable and #thatsdarling.

Today's story is stuff about einkorn...does anyone here know more about it beyond the woo-woo things Charlotte says about it? I admittedly am interested in breadmaking and the qualities of different grains, but I don't trust them for a second. I had never heard of einkorn before B-well, though.

**Edit: Part of my problem doing any general Googling of einkorn is I get a bunch of ill-informed websites of the same vein as B-well, and Young Living selling their variety of it. What a surprise.

Einkorn does have a few benefits. 

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1 hour ago, CoalMiningGuy said:

 

Einkorn does have a few benefits. 

Ok, so thread drift: reading a book about Bronze Age peoples. Every time they reference 'einkorn', a thorough giggle ensues. Thanks, FJ (in the very best way!)

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4 hours ago, CoalMiningGuy said:

Einkorn does have a few benefits. 

Welcome to Free Jinger.

Einkorn is just a species of wheat.  An ancient species that is is popular among the crunchy granola crowd.  Including me.  Nothing about it is bad, many things are good,  although it is obviously not recommended for gluten-free diets because, hello, it is wheat!

Einkorn is not likely to be a miraculous cure for whatever mass of minor ailments that afflict Charlotte though.

I also use teff flour (Eragrostis tef) in some recipes.  It is not to everyone's taste, although I like it and recommend it.  Teff is gluten-free but I don't believe all the woo-woo overinflated health claims about it either.   

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Young Living sells their own brand of einkorn! So much becomes clear...

Einkorn is expensive enough when you buy it at Whole Foods or Natural Grocers. I can’t imagine how much more it is through YL with all the included MLM markup.

Is European wheat less engineered than US wheat? It seems to me that when we buy pasta from Italy or bread from the French bakery that import their flour from France, it tastes like I remember from decades ago.

Pasta from US wheat tastes terrible to me. And the French bread and pastries taste so much better.

We bought a fiercely expensive bag of einkorn at the natural foods store for our gluten-sensitive family member to try because they’d read an article written by someone who hadn’t gotten sick on pasta and bread while traveling in Italy, but couldn’t eat wheat-based products in the US. Results? Eh. Nothing earth-shattering.

Imagination? I wonder.

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I think it is a mixture of European produce being less engineered and wishful thinking. I like it for muesli. 

Sorry for me leading off topic. 

Back onto topic: Has anyone else seen the new post on brijee? She has made herself a dress for easter. I do not like the style on her, but it seems to be well crafted.

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37 minutes ago, CoalMiningGuy said:

Back onto topic: Has anyone else seen the new post on brijee? She has made herself a dress for easter. I do not like the style on her, but it seems to be well crafted.

Yeah, the style doesn't look the best on her. Though no doubt it is a nice dress. 

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She seems to be very good at following and completing the pattern.  I'm not a fan of the dress either.  I wouldn't wear it and she would look so much nicer in something else.

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1 hour ago, CoalMiningGuy said:

I think it is a mixture of European produce being less engineered and wishful thinking. I like it for muesli. 

Sorry for me leading off topic. 

Back onto topic: Has anyone else seen the new post on brijee? She has made herself a dress for easter. I do not like the style on her, but it seems to be well crafted.

It's quite OK.  Thread drift is an honored tradition on FJ.  There are no penalties for going off-topic.  :)

If people are truly gluten and wheat intolerant, sensitive, allergic and so on, switching from "regular" wheat flour to eikhorn (or other wheat species like the duram used in pasta) isn't going to do them slightest bit of good.  Nor will importing European flour.

My own theory is that it is less engineering than it is additives and preservatives.  European regulations allow far fewer of them, although junk food is junk food.   It's possible that people think they can eat European wheat products if they don't have a problem with bread and fresh pasta products in Europe.   I don't know about pasta (I just looked in the cupboard and I only have imported Italian dry pasta), but your average loaf of store-bought pre-sliced American bread is loaded with preservatives and high-fructose corn syrup.  And it is disgustingly sweet compared to  European breads.   I'll choose British Hovis over any whole wheat American store bread!

Gluten-free is approaching a fad diet these days.  Some people are genuinely unable to tolerate it; celiac disease is very real.  However, it is possible that some people who go gluten-free feel better because they aren't eating pop-tarts and store-bought cookies any more!  Or it is all in their heads.  

Off to look at Brigid's dress now.

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That's funny, I think that dress is really cute and about 100 times more flattering than what she usually wears.

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I like it too.  Very vintage but very wearable.  I love the navy and white and I think the smocking is really beautifully done.  Well, done Brigid.  

To me, Brigid's weakness is that the shoulders of her dresses often look too big for her.  I know she likes room to move, but I think she could move the shoulder seams in about half an inch on this one.

And, oh dear.  I think she quoted me.  I'm pretty sure I said “come on, one pattern for sale does not a business make!” 

Well, I stand by that.  No, it doesn't.  I'm very glad she has 2 new patterns in the wings and look forward to seeing them.

 

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I really like Brigid’s Easter dress. I love the style, and appreciate the detailing. I wish I could sew more than a 3” straight seam. 

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26 minutes ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

I really like Brigid’s Easter dress. I love the style, and appreciate the detailing. I wish I could sew more than a 3” straight seam. 

She is very, very, talented.  I used to sew rather well but she leaves me in the dust.  She adapts patterns very creatively and knows her stuff.

The under-sleeve discussion is interesting too.  I get it, but she is talking about sewing 3 layers of fabric in doing that.  Without very careful trimming and gradation the seams must risk looking bulky as stink.

Brigid, dearie, talk more about the technique you used and the pleater you borrowed for the smocking.  I have a teeny tiny pleater.  I use it for 1:24 dollhouse scale model house curtains.  It is cute.

Also, Brigid, you use a lot of linen.  Why?  It crumples and shrinks.  There was that lovely wool dress interfaced with linen.  How do you plan to launder these dresses - dry clean only?

 

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3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

 And, oh dear.  I think she quoted me.  I'm pretty sure I said “come on, one pattern for sale does not a business make!” 

 

1

I was going to post that she said that, although I didn't realize you said it first, lol. 

A little self-deprecating humor, a little poke at FJ . . . good for her! 

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I think the dress is beautiful, though I do think it is a bit large for her, a 12 would perhaps have been better.  Her craftsmanship is impeccable though.  Her sleeve instructions were the only ones I could ever get to work for my dresses, and I think she's got fantastic drafting/sewing/finishing skills.  I personally really like linen, though I don't have a huge amount of experience sewing complicated things with it (mostly just box pleated skirts with wide waistbands and simple plackets).  I tend to find it quite unforgiving though, but that may well be just a lack of practice.  The detailing is beautiful too, especially the smocking.

Brigid will always be my fave fundie because she's made the lifestyle work for her, she grew the cutest wee baby, and she become an industrious, talented artist and designer in her own right.  @Gabe please let your lovely wife know that she has all my respect and that her sleeve drafting tutorials have changed my life.  Also can you put in a request that she smocks some clothes for the little one--I think I'd die from the cuteness. 

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OMG that's Levi in their Easter pic! His instagram has the same picture of him. He must be a decent guy if Brigid has no issues staying friends with him.

Screen Shot 2018-04-22 at 12.32.12 AM.png

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They can scrub a dub dub the blog all they want - the internet is forever. The post about the engagement ending, courtesy of the Wayback Machine.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160801102719/http://boyersisters.com/2016/03/unexpected-journey-unexpected-ending/

 

Quote

We ran into some difficulties in our relationship not long after the engagement began, and things just seemed to go down hill from there. Ultimately, both Levi and I realized that there had been some miscommunication regarding his life vision, and over the course of time Levi realized that his lifestyle would not be a good fit for me to be his helpmeet. There has been more heartbreak on my side than I ever let anyone know during the last few months, so if this comes as a surprise to you, just know that I have been working through these difficulties with Levi and my family for a long time now, and God was preparing my heart for the ending of our engagement a while ago. To move out of engagement and into a marriage with Levi was not the Lord’s plan in the end.

.......

God’s ways are not our own. Only He can tear relationships apart, put the two people back together, all the the while teaching them how to do better for the journey ahead. And I did make several mistakes. The three that weigh on me the most are these: 1) I was impatient, and didn’t let time pass in order for key things to manifest themselves–such as allowing a better friendship with Levi to grow before moving into an engagement. 2) I was too trusting in love, and too careless with the things that could have made, but eventually broke up, our relationship–such as giving Levi the benefit of the doubt concerning how he planned to represent Christ to me, and then being okay with other things that were less than satisfactory, giving him the impression that that was how I wanted things to be handled, or how I wanted to be treated, when in fact that was not true. 3) I gave up too many things that made up who I was as a person, which was misleading for Levi, and very dangerous for myself, making me very unhappy.

 

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2 hours ago, jozina said:

such as giving Levi the benefit of the doubt concerning how he planned to represent Christ to me

Can someone translate this for me? 

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2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Can someone translate this for me? 

Ephesians 5 (I forget the verse) reference.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the saviour of the body.

Much quoted by Patriarchal types.  Jessica's not giving him the benefit of the doubt on how he was going to represent Christ was what originally gave me the impression that perhaps Levi wasn't really into the sort of Headship to which Jessica expected to submit.  That sentence looks weird as well as run-on.  I hope it makes sense grammatically and otherwise. ;)

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