Joy and Austin: 248 Days Since the Wedding and Still Counting

[VBOY9977]

On another hand, I’m pretty sure Joy’s shirt says “Slater and Jessie” as in the characters from saved by the bell

 

I doubt she even knows the show so it’s weird that she owns a shirt with their names on it

[SamuraiKatz]

Hi, this is my first post despite lurking for about 8 years! )At one point I actually thought I'd joined but turns out I didn't!)
I've always thought that Joy would be one of the ones to stick closest to her upbringing ever since the episode when she was hiding the adverts with her hand whilst they were watching the tiny TV. 

Maybe Joy's issues stem from the abuse perletrated by Josh. I think she's had s lifetime of shaming for something thay was never evrr her fault. She had that gothard "defrauding" crap drilled into head.

I wish she'd taken her time with marriage and figured out who she was as a person. Jana isn't narried. I don't know why she couldn't wait ss well.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Joy and Jessa have similar personalities, Jessa has said Joy is the nicer Jessa.  Joy was demanding of her siblings but they didn't pay her much mind, as she would threaten Jana when they didn't follow her instructions.  I'm still waiting to see how Joy & Austin interact after the wedding to see if she keeps up the doormat status. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

1 hour ago, VBOY9977 said:

On another hand, I’m pretty sure Joy’s shirt says “Slater and Jessie” as in the characters from saved by the bell

 

I doubt she even knows the show so it’s weird that she owns a shirt with their names on it

Probably bought it at Goodwill to wear as a "painting" shirt or a "working on the house" shirt.

[Iamtheway]

What kind of parent beats their infant? They should be in jail. As the mother of an almost 4 year old I can see how a child can drive you insane (some days very clearly) but a 4 month old is so little. 

[KelseyAnn]

9 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

What kind of parent beats their infant? They should be in jail. As the mother of an almost 4 year old I can see how a child can drive you insane (some days very clearly) but a 4 month old is so little. 

This is why I wish Joy had more time to find herself before she had kids. Becuase I was able to have some time to figure me out after an abusive upbringing, I was able to realize I probably shouldn't have a baby. I had time to realize that, me as a person, was not a very patient individual. If Joy had had that kind of time, maybe she wouldn't even have to entertain the idea of beating a child. 

[SassyPants]

49 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

What kind of parent beats their infant? They should be in jail. As the mother of an almost 4 year old I can see how a child can drive you insane (some days very clearly) but a 4 month old is so little. 

Criminals

 

Developmentally speaking, everything a baby does is appropriate. What can they do that deserves being beat? Cry, soil themselves?

[nst]

12 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

That message reads like Austin. Not that I expected anything different, but it's still a shame to have "proof" if you will. Joy is a doormat just like her sister-mom and will do whatever her headship commands. 

I don't know how anyone can look at the Pearl's methods and think it's okay. Spanking a four month old baby? Come on.

I remember when 19KAC was on and they showed Anna telling one of her littles she wanted "instant obedience" when she took them out to the store. Yeah, probably a Pearl thing too. 

i think i still have that on my pvr.  Off to delete anything to do with Anna. 

remind again....but seriously Joy and Austin are disturbed anyway 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

7 hours ago, Plum78 said:

Hi, this is my first post despite lurking for about 8 years! )At one point I actually thought I'd joined but turns out I didn't!)

I've always thought that Joy would be one of the ones to stick closest to her upbringing ever since the episode when she was hiding the adverts with her hand whilst they were watching the tiny TV. 

Welcome!    

I've been following the Duggars longer than I care to admit, but must've missed the episode you refer to.  Was this a long time ago?  Was she hiding the ads from everyone or just the younger kids?
 

[Bad Wolf]

She had a piece of paper to hide the nike stuff.

[VBOY9977]

Pickles just posted some evidence on her page on that Austin’s sister and her husband run Fort Rock’s web page so it was Bobby who wrote the message. It’s might as well have been austin though, I doubt his views are different 

[Jinder Roles]

After reading up on The Pearls, especially the videos and the cases where children have died, it is absolutely abhorrent (though not surprising) that Fort Rock would advocate for them. It goes to show that many Duggar off-spring and their associates do not care about immoral or problematic behaviour, as long as their ideology gets showcased. D-wreck is the worst example, but many are probably like that. 

And my goodness, these people lack nuance. Corporal punishment does not guarantee well-behaved children. I know some who were that are well-adjusted adults, and some that aren't. And vice versa. 

As a previous poster said, Pearl idea of spanking and regular spanking is different. I was spanked as a child (grew up in a region where it is par for the course) and I'm fine. I was also reasoned with. It wasn't the first or only means of punishment, and certainly not the most effective. I completely understand why some on this board are uncomfortable with the idea. I hate when parents spank their kids or any and every little thing (especially severely if it was a minor offense by the child) because it inspires distrust, fear or even sometimes more bad behaviour. You should never beat the curiosity out of your child, they're not robots. The times I was spanked, I wasn't a baby and I did something severe I knew I wasn't supposed to do. 

I can't say I'd never spank my hypothetical child, but they'd have to do something really bad that they knew not to do. In any case,  Jinder Jr. and I would have a discussion about why what they did was wrong and how to be better in the future. 

[marmalade]

7 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

Joy and Austin bought their house before they got married, so between March and May. Jinger and Jeremy ended up buying their house around June if I’m not mistaken. Also, I think the apartment they lived in before was a rental.

So yes technically Joy and Austin were first but not for long

Yes, Austin bought the house before they got married last May, but Joy's name is not on the deed (as of about two weeks ago when I last checked to see if Austin had any more properties...he doesn't). JinJer bought their house last June, and both of their names are on the deed. 

[fluffernutter]

14 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

I was thinking this. While I personally am not convinced that Jessa and Anna have not/would never lay a hand on their children, I think the M kids and the Seewalds are more likely to get the former- Open palm on the butt once or twice with a lecture. Whereas it sounds like there's a good chance the Forsyths may very well follow the Pearl method of torture and I wouldn't be shocked if the Dillards were doing the same. Not sure about the Vuolos yet.

I'm looking at my 2.5 year old and just imagining how afraid she would be if I ever beat her with a rod and just the thought literally makes me want to cry. It boggles my mind that people can not only treat their children this way in the name of "discipline" but also be quite proud to let the world know this is what they do.

I feel the same way. It breaks my heart to think of any baby or child being harmed. If adults assault each other, it's illegal.  If parents do it, it's labeled "discipline." Not right. 

[HarleyQuinn]

10 hours ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

Welcome!    

I've been following the Duggars longer than I care to admit, but must've missed the episode you refer to.  Was this a long time ago?  Was she hiding the ads from everyone or just the younger kids?
 

If we're thinking of the same episode, it's when Boob and Michelle took Jessa and Jinger to NYC with them to appear on GMA (I think?) They showed everyone back at the TTH and Joy was sitting in front of the TV with her hands over a woman in a dress, and Grandma Mary explained she was covering her up because she was defrauding. 

[Carm_88]

9 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

Pickles just posted some evidence on her page on that Austin’s sister and her husband run Fort Rock’s web page so it was Bobby who wrote the message. It’s might as well have been austin though, I doubt his views are different 

Well if Austin was raised with the Pearls just like Joy, I doubt that they will do anything differently. 

[HermioneSparrow]

9 hours ago, marmalade said:

Yes, Austin bought the house before they got married last May, but Joy's name is not on the deed (as of about two weeks ago when I last checked to see if Austin had any more properties...he doesn't). JinJer bought their house last June, and both of their names are on the deed. 

Jinger still winning...

Lol

[AtlanticTug]

14 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

What kind of parent beats their infant? They should be in jail. As the mother of an almost 4 year old I can see how a child can drive you insane (some days very clearly) but a 4 month old is so little. 

As somebody said, a criminal. Also the type of parent who has way too many children to properly care for. Rather than realizing the root problem (indiscriminate and irresponsible childbearing), these people have to come up with methods which keep the multitude of kids in line so that they can continue to function. So infants get beaten because they dared cry when put in bed at night or because they wandered off a blanket (hello if you're that desperate to keep them contained in an area, put them in a pack n play) or because they continued to cry when you felt like they should have stopped. These mothers, because let's face it the fathers are all useless lugs, are overwhelmed, probably have anxiety and who knows what other mental illness issues as a result of their lifestyle and they just can't handle children being children. I mean I can't fathom having 10 kids running around - I have two and I feel like I'm at the end of my rope some days.

There is no escape from this cycle so long as kids are being added to the family. And since the Duggars are marrying them all off super young (JD/Jana notwithstanding), they will all fall into the same pattern of breeding.

[SamuraiKatz]

I'm sorry; I misspoke when I said that I thought that Austin's BIL, Bobby Ballinger Jr., works for Rep. Womack. He's a staffer for Rep. Westerman, in his Ozark office. He also works as a real estate agent.
He does not work for his father, a state representative.
See:
http://www.ozarkchamberofcommerce.com/Government
https://www.techties.atu.edu/s/978/16/index-social.aspx?sid=978&gid=1&pgid=252&cid=4082&ecid=4082&crid=0&calpgid=15&calcid=752
https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobby-ballinger-600b9997
and other sites. 
I can also see him in the current U.S. House of Representatives email and telephone directories [not publicly accessible]

I spoke incorrectly as well. Bob Senior is a bully. Ballinger and Charlie Collins are in cahoots with Stanley Jason Rapert.

Cotton and Boozman are my Senators. Womack my representative. I think of them as the trifecta of evil. If you live in Arkansas and aren't in lock step with people like the Duggars, you (my wife and I) have no representstion in this state.

[ClutchingMyPearls1984]

I had to create an account over this issue. I am a Christian. I was spanked as a child, only a handful of times, and my last one was when I was 5 years old. Without constant spankings, I grew up to be a decent human being (if I may say so) and even having been spanked, I have done well in spite of it. 

What the Pearls recommend is absolutely appalling. I cannot understand how ANY Christian can read ANY scripture in the Bible that supposedly encourages corporal punishment and then say that the Pearls promote a Biblical method. Even if the Bible promoted spanking, where do you see the pearls method as a Biblical??? Breaking the will of a child? Holding a child down against their will? That’s some sick crap. Almost everyone I know who spanks, when I tell them about the Pearls method they look at me like I have two heads and don’t believe me. Heck, I tell them about almost any “spanking” method (Tripp, Ezzo, etc.) and they do the same. Unfortunately, I know a few Pearlites. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Also, quick tip: without getting into the Greek/Hebrew, or cultural differences — a rod is different than the rod. A rod is literal, the rod is metaphorical. The Bible does not promote beating a child with a literal rod, because yes, they can die. Forsythe’s take note.

but, whatever, I mean the Duggars still actively promote the IBLP cult. 

 

18 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Criminals

 

Developmentally speaking, everything a baby does is appropriate. What can they do that deserves being beat? Cry, soil themselves?

I was recommended a corporal punishment book via a blogger who said you shouldn’t allow your four month old to “slap you in the face”. W.T.H. 

[Letgo]

1 hour ago, ClutchingMyPearls1984 said:

I was recommended a corporal punishment book via a blogger who said you shouldn’t allow your four month old to “slap you in the face”. W.T.H. 

A four month old baby is not capable of executing a purposeful slap in the face. Nor would a baby that age have the cognitive development to even want to do  that. What on earth is wrong with people that they cannot understand that? I have grandchildren and one is that age. She has no idea of what she is doing with her hands other than liking it when she successfully gets one or both in her mouth. Heck, sometimes she hits herself  in the face. It's accidental, with no intentional behavior at all. I don't see how babies who can't even talk, sit, crawl, or walk are somehow into disrespecting their parents by "slapping them in the face" on purpose. Here, Baby, let me do it for you... 

[Shadoewolf]

3 hours ago, SamuraiKatz said:

SNIP

Cotton and Boozman are my Senators. Womack my representative. I think of them as the trifecta of evil. If you live in Arkansas and aren't in lock step with people like the Duggars, you (my wife and I) have no representstion in this state.

I lived around the corner from one of Boozman's offices in Mtn Home not too long ago! Ugh I hated that town!

[Sky with diamonds]

I extremely dislike the Pearls. Actually, I hate them. And I hate the Camp is supporting it. I'm upset and disgusted.

 

[mizandry]

On 2/2/2018 at 12:10 PM, Jane the Virgin said:

I'm new to FJ, so apologies if this is well known. Curious as to what the Dillards have put online that indicate they are following the Pearls methods?

I agree that Jessa seems much more bonded to her kids (and talks to, not at them). But I do wonder how hard it is to reprogram some of this stuff without intense work and self-exploration. I find it difficult myself to sort out with my own kids what I think is right and what just feels familiar from my own upbringing and I don't have nearly the baggage the Duggar kiddults carry from their childhoods.

I'm sorry I didn't get to this sooner; but yes, what Harley Quinn has said (thank you!).

There's more information in the older Dillard threads, this one has the swaddling-and-crying photos that were posted on their website for a day or two in December of 2015: 

This happened when he was pretty established in his mobility; he was standing and climbing stairs a month prior. And from what I can tell, he wasn't being swaddled anymore (or at least not as frequently as when he was a few months old - certainly not this restrained). If the lighting is any indication, it was daytime -- maybe this was for a nap? It still gives me "make him submit to our will" punishment vibes. They never gave context as to why they took and posted these pictures and left them up for the time they did. 

.

Re: the Pearls  - I just wanted to drop this video here, because it gives a very clear sense of how they and the families who follow them justify and promote their methods. It's long and a lot to take in, so proceed with caution:

 

[artdecades]

the fact that it wasn't austin writing those messages doesn't make me feel any better. he was raised with this and has shown no signs of rejecting or even moving slightly way from any of his family's beliefs. joy was raised to be an obedient helpmeet who follows what her headship says. and we all know she was raised with the pearl methods too.