Joy and Austin: 248 Days Since the Wedding and Still Counting

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[CharlieInCharge]

It’s funny to read all these house dreams because when we were looking for a place to buy we were more interested in the land than the house. Our place is six acres with great outbuildings (coops, barn, storage sheds, etc.) and a creek running through it. The house is a built-on mess, started as a one bedroom and was added on a room at a time over thirty years. None of the rooms match, there is no ‘plan’ to the space at all and the flooring was different in each room. My mom always said look at the bones, not the cosmetics. We spent the first few months living in one room so we could paint and redo the floors. We didn’t do any major remodeling and I’d still like to rehab the kitchen, but it’s functional. Honestly, I love this place and hope to spend the rest of my life here. It’s not anyone’s idea of a dream home, but it is ours and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, CharlieInCharge said:

It’s funny to read all these house dreams because when we were looking for a place to buy we were more interested in the land than the house. Our place is six acres with great outbuildings (coops, barn, storage sheds, etc.) and a creek running through it. The house is a built-on mess, started as a one bedroom and was added on a room at a time over thirty years. None of the rooms match, there is no ‘plan’ to the space at all and the flooring was different in each room. My mom always said look at the bones, not the cosmetics. We spent the first few months living in one room so we could paint and redo the floors. We didn’t do any major remodeling and I’d still like to rehab the kitchen, but it’s functional. Honestly, I love this place and hope to spend the rest of my life here. It’s not anyone’s idea of a dream home, but it is ours and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

This sounds like a friend of mines place, she lives on 20 acres and her house was kind of a hodge podge of spaces. They did a massive remodel that tripled the size of the home. Aside from being a massive cluster fuck that took over 18 MONTHS to complete and was $70k OVER budget because their 1st contractor screwed them over so badly, that is what they get for working with "friends" The house is BEAUTIFUL, it has amazing views, it is build on a Mountain in Oregon and their view is absolutely breathtaking.  They have a horse barn, chicken coops,  and grazing land that they rent out. We love to go visit them because we can just sit on the deck in the hot tub or poor and look at the views and relax. I couldn't handle all the upkeep DH would love it, and I guess I would learn but I'm a prissy city girl and shit, bugs and dirt don't excite me, but I could probably learn to not mind, as it is so beautiful and so relaxing not having other peoples life happening all around you.

[RainbowSky]

Forgive me for being a bit late reading. 

 

@louisa05 I'm on a phone and quotes refuse to work. You said this the other day.

"And I can verify that while not traumatized, your 26 year old nephew is going to be extremely uncomfortable and long remember that discomfort if he has to sit at a table with you for a half hour while your boob is on display. And your older brother will feel the same"

I just wanted to say fuck you and fuck some damn man who thinks my child eating is a personal affront to them, or is uncomfortable to them. Oh fucking well. Them slurping or chewing with their gaping maw would probably bemaking me uncomfortable at that point but I'd keep my mouth shut.

My 16yo stepson and 19yo brother don't say shit. My brother was around for my older ones some. My stepson has a stepsister who breastfeeds freely with her 2+ yr old kids. I've been there to see it. He has no excuse to have a problem. It's not new and he's seemed to get over himself. I have, however had dumbass comments said to me by my own husband (among others) because of it. Use a blanket, etc. His older kids were bottlefed. My older kids were breastfed and weaned on their own time. I told him off and fed my baby where we've been. Especially in MY house. Gave not one fuck that my stepsons live here, or MILs  husband was here. He and any asshole out there who thinks whatever their small minds can come up with to be offended by my HUMAN CHILD fucking eating can avert their eyes or fuck right on off.

My husband has gone from telling me to hide the baby's face (YOU eat under a fucking blanket!!) to posting things in support in a very short time. Other assholes can see the light as well. 

 

I ask if it's such a problem to see some boob being used as food, are you gonna walk up to a chick in the grocery store who's showing cleavage and tell her to cover up? Are you going to try to force the stores to have those modesty panel things on every magazine at every checkout? Most would say no. Some will have no problem side eyeing or saying things to a woman feeding her child though. Even the men who would openly ogle women in my examples. Complete bullshit. 

 

-A woman with a breastfed newborn.

[Nargus]

10 hours ago, RainbowSky said:

Forgive me for being a bit late reading. 

 

@louisa05 I'm on a phone and quotes refuse to work. You said this the other day.

"And I can verify that while not traumatized, your 26 year old nephew is going to be extremely uncomfortable and long remember that discomfort if he has to sit at a table with you for a half hour while your boob is on display. And your older brother will feel the same"

I just wanted to say fuck you and fuck some damn man who thinks my child eating is a personal affront to them, or is uncomfortable to them. Oh fucking well. Them slurping or chewing with their gaping maw would probably bemaking me uncomfortable at that point but I'd keep my mouth shut.

My 16yo stepson and 19yo brother don't say shit. My brother was around for my older ones some. My stepson has a stepsister who breastfeeds freely with her 2+ yr old kids. I've been there to see it. He has no excuse to have a problem. It's not new and he's seemed to get over himself. I have, however had dumbass comments said to me by my own husband (among others) because of it. Use a blanket, etc. His older kids were bottlefed. My older kids were breastfed and weaned on their own time. I told him off and fed my baby where we've been. Especially in MY house. Gave not one fuck that my stepsons live here, or MILs  husband was here. He and any asshole out there who thinks whatever their small minds can come up with to be offended by my HUMAN CHILD fucking eating can avert their eyes or fuck right on off.

My husband has gone from telling me to hide the baby's face (YOU eat under a fucking blanket!!) to posting things in support in a very short time. Other assholes can see the light as well. 

 

I ask if it's such a problem to see some boob being used as food, are you gonna walk up to a chick in the grocery store who's showing cleavage and tell her to cover up? Are you going to try to force the stores to have those modesty panel things on every magazine at every checkout? Most would say no. Some will have no problem side eyeing or saying things to a woman feeding her child though. Even the men who would openly ogle women in my examples. Complete bullshit. 

 

-A woman with a breastfed newborn.

I think the issue was the 4 year old kid ran in, pulled down mom's shirt, took a sip, and ran back outside, and mom left her boob out for the remainder of the visit. 

The child wasn't eating.  If he/she was, the boob in question wouldn't have been on display.

[Iamtheway]

On 2018-01-25 at 8:51 PM, kachuu said:

Same feeling! I'm reading all this with wide eyes and jaw on the floor at how passionate people can be about either breast feeding or formula.

I'm going to try breastfed but it sounds painful if i'm honest (i'm also super hormonal) so i don't want to agree on any one avenue before i meet my kid & see his preference. 

I finally caught up! And I’m so late for all of this but have saved up so many things I want to say things about so here I go.

Lots of people have written about pain and problems with breastfeeding so I just wanted to step in and tell you it can also be pretty much painfree. I wanted to breastfeed if I could but was open to options if I couldn’t. Except for some discomfort (and huge, hard, square boobs) when the milk came in I was never in any pain while breastfeeding. No sore nipples or anything. It did take us over two weeks to learn to breastfeed sitting up though. In the beginning it only worked if I was lying on my side. I thought we’d never get out of the house. 

Don’t know how we would have coped with bottle feeding since Miniway never learned how to drink from a bottle. We went straight from boob to cup. Weird kid. 

On 2018-01-25 at 9:23 PM, Nargus said:

I know a lot of people who take their 3-6 month old babies to swimming lessons.  

We did baby swimming and it was awesome. The warmest pool I’ve ever been in. We went to playgroup too but that was mostly for me so I could get out of the house (and in to proper clothes) and talk to other grown ups.

On 2018-01-25 at 9:37 PM, VelociRapture said:

I’m sorry if this is weird, but I love your dad.  

Well, if we want to stick with babies and their mouths we could always discuss weird stuff they insist on shoving in there. Or we could start a drift on how toddlers love a certain food one day only to have it be the goddamn devil the next. 

Me: Dinner!

Miniway: I don’t like dinner! 

Me: 

On 2018-01-25 at 10:06 PM, Screamapillar said:

Well, at least now I know that the reason why my toddler bit me and then smiled about it last night is because it's the beginning of a lifetime of emotional detachment from me because I fed her formula.

Kids are just tiny sadists. I have this conversation with Miniway several times a week. 

Me: Aaaaa! You’re hurting me! Stop it!

Miniway: I want you to be in pain!

On 2018-01-25 at 10:34 PM, Baxter said:

I should also mention that I live in Canada where I got a year of maternity leave. I couldn't even imagine the stress of trying to breastfeed and pump and having to go back to work at 8 or 12 weeks. That seems crazy to me.

I admire working mums in the US so much. I don’t know how you do it. I started working 2 hours a day, from home (in my pyjamas) when Miniway was three months and then I took on more hours as he got bigger. But I didn’t have to do it. I did it because I like my job, for extra money and so that we could save some of our paid parental days for later. His dad was a student and home a lot and my work let me be very flexible with times so it worked out well for us. Miniway started daycare at 2,5 and most of his first year Mr Way took a parental day a week with him. I couldn’t have left my baby to work full time when he was so tiny. And I love working. Good work anyone who manage to pump while working!

On 2018-01-25 at 11:10 PM, elliha said:

I had trouble finding my "mom-tribe" or whatever you would call it. I breastfed and have breastfed for a long time with both kids, I co-slept for 15 months with my older kid and my younger is still mostly co-sleeping at soon 19 months. I plan on trying to get him into his own bed this summer at the very least but will probably not transfer him to his own room yet. I did a lot of baby wearing but also used a stroller. I started solids relatively early, tiny amounts at 4-5 months and more real portions at around 6 months. I believe in gentle discipline but I do raise my voice sometimes and don't feel bad about it if they have in fact done something wrong. Spanking is illegal in Sweden but I would not do that even if it was legal, it seems unfair that a big human hits a tiny human even if the tiny human is being a tiny little asshole. I bought clothes that were new and second hand and I have tried to have relatively gender neutral clothes and my son has worn dresses (dresses that look like long sweaters or t-shirts not with ruffles and lace). I am not too bothered by chemicals and only buy a couple of products organic but I try to buy products with as little crap in the form of fillers and preservatives. I vaccinate but do not give any extra vaccines (Sweden doesn't vaccinate against chicken pox for example so if you want that you have to pay). I am against CIO and circumcision is not done here if it is not a medical issue.

In short, I was too crunchy for the "regular" moms and too "regular" for the crunchy ones. I only have one mom friend and sadly she moved to another country a couple years ago. We are still in contact but it is of course never the same as meeting "live". 

I reckon we could have been great mum-friends. Sounds pretty much like me.

Now on house hunting. While breastfeeding I watched lots of daytime tv. That was how I discovered the Duggars (and all of you, yay!). I loved watching House hunters. The Brittish one was on every day and here is what I learned about what Brittish people wants in a home: A grand entrance and a separate dining room preferably in some sort of barn conversion close to the train to London. Somehow three hours one way is a perfectly reasonable commute and people saying they want to downsize always think the houses they are shown are too small.

Other favourites from my breastfeeding days: Antique roadshow, The great Brittish bakeoff,  Say yes to the dress and Border patrol Australia, where every episode has one Asian family with a bag filled with food (I once saw a women trying to bring in a whole cooked chicken), some dodgy looking dude that’s really nervous and usually is smuggeling drugs and someone that brought only work clothes and has no idea what they want to see on their ”holiday”.

Sorry for the massive post. I’ll try to keep up better in the future. 

[elliha]

6 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

 

I reckon we could have been great mum-friends. Sounds pretty much like me.

Now on house hunting. While breastfeeding I watched lots of daytime tv. That was how I discovered the Duggars (and all of you, yay!). I loved watching House hunters. The Brittish one was on every day and here is what I learned about what Brittish people wants in a home: A grand entrance and a separate dining room preferably in some sort of barn conversion close to the train to London. Somehow three hours one way is a perfectly reasonable commute and people saying they want to downsize always think the houses they are shown are too small.

Other favourites from my breastfeeding days: Antique roadshow, The great Brittish bakeoff,  Say yes to the dress and Border patrol Australia, where every episode has one Asian family with a bag filled with food (I once saw a women trying to bring in a whole cooked chicken), some dodgy looking dude that’s really nervous and usually is smuggeling drugs and someone that brought only work clothes and has no idea what they want to see on their ”holiday”.

Sorry for the massive post. I’ll try to keep up better in the future. 

Haha, we even watch many of the same crap shows, I love Antique roadshow, I have watched the Swedish, American and British versions... I also watch Border Patrol Australia despite having seen most episodes a ton of times. It is weirdly relaxing and fun to see bad liars I think. The classic line for the food smugglers: "Oh, I didn't read the card" or "Nuts are not food". My husband and I still do a bad imitation of a Hungarian man who is furious they are going to take his salami "Is only sausage!!!". I also remember a seed smuggling ring involving different clubs and organisations for retired people. I just see all those pensioners sitting there plotting how to get those seeds from England to Australia. 

I also watch different British house hunting shows and I am always fascinated when people want a house in the middle of town but where they cannot hear any noise from cars. How would that even be possible? I get not wanting to be on the busiest road but hearing cars should be expected in town even in a small town. My husband and I also never forget a super picky couple who didn't want a house because "the garden is overlooked". Build a high fence or realize that if you are somewhere with neighbors they may see a portion of your garden so don't go naked outside, problem solved or are you building a death ray?

[Iamtheway]

6 hours ago, elliha said:

Haha, we even watch many of the same crap shows, I love Antique roadshow, I have watched the Swedish, American and British versions... I also watch Border Patrol Australia despite having seen most episodes a ton of times. It is weirdly relaxing and fun to see bad liars I think. The classic line for the food smugglers: "Oh, I didn't read the card" or "Nuts are not food". My husband and I still do a bad imitation of a Hungarian man who is furious they are going to take his salami "Is only sausage!!!". I also remember a seed smuggling ring involving different clubs and organisations for retired people. I just see all those pensioners sitting there plotting how to get those seeds from England to Australia. 

I also watch different British house hunting shows and I am always fascinated when people want a house in the middle of town but where they cannot hear any noise from cars. How would that even be possible? I get not wanting to be on the busiest road but hearing cars should be expected in town even in a small town. My husband and I also never forget a super picky couple who didn't want a house because "the garden is overlooked". Build a high fence or realize that if you are somewhere with neighbors they may see a portion of your garden so don't go naked outside, problem solved or are you building a death ray?

Haha, see! I think we’d make excellent friends. 

Me and Mr Way often quote an Asian woman that had snacks and lollies stuffed everywhere  in her bag and no matter how many times they tried to explain to her that everything you can eat counts as food she would not get it. In the end they made a huge speak about it and she was nodding. 

Borderguy: Do you understand now?

Woman: Yes. 

Borderguy: So next time you will declare your food?

Woman (laughing): But it’s not food!

[Knight of Ni]

The American system is terrible. I went back to work full time traveling all over the state five weeks after an emergency c-section. 

[Firebird]

My friend is a New York State employee. As an engineer and a part of a professional union she still gets NO maternity leave. She would have to use sick and vacation time.

[imokit]

I don't think we've spoken about this yet https://www.fortrock.org/events/2017/fc-june-7-18/

In case anyone has any illusions about how Joy's child(ren) are likely to be parented 

For those who don't want to follow the link - the Pearls are hosting a conference/family camp at Joy's inlaws.

[kachuu]

1 hour ago, imokit said:

I don't think we've spoken about this yet https://www.fortrock.org/events/2017/fc-june-7-18/

In case anyone has any illusions about how Joy's child(ren) are likely to be parented 

For those who don't want to follow the link - the Pearls are hosting a conference/family camp at Joy's inlaws.

Ugh-

 

I had a friend who tried to give me the Pearls' book "Created to be his help meet" - as a belated wedding present. I actually flipped through it (before knowing anything about the Pearls) and found a chapter on always giving sex to your man and being available regardless of anything (including if it causes you pain because clearly that's your own problem) and was so disgusted. I googled book reviews & went down the rabbit hole of the Pearls & Train up your child.

Needless to say, the book was left in the trash in a hotel room where we were staying. I cringe just thinking about it.

[freshlemonade]

6 hours ago, imokit said:

I don't think we've spoken about this yet https://www.fortrock.org/events/2017/fc-june-7-18/

In case anyone has any illusions about how Joy's child(ren) are likely to be parented 

For those who don't want to follow the link - the Pearls are hosting a conference/family camp at Joy's inlaws.

Seems a little pricey for 3 nights and 4 days in a cabin.  I wonder what's in the "library"?

[viii]

6 hours ago, imokit said:

I don't think we've spoken about this yet https://www.fortrock.org/events/2017/fc-june-7-18/

In case anyone has any illusions about how Joy's child(ren) are likely to be parented 

For those who don't want to follow the link - the Pearls are hosting a conference/family camp at Joy's inlaws.

I don't think you can necessarily assume this will be how Austin and Joy will parent their child. If anything, how they're raised might affect their choices differently, and they might choose to do things different than what was done to them as children. At least, one can always hope. 

[cptbailey]

Austin strikes me as extremely traditional and fundie. He'll likely wanna continue in whatever way he was raised. And we've already seen that Joy is all about what Austin wants. I'd say it's pretty likely they'd use Pearl-style methods. I think these two are even more fundie than Derrick/Jill. But I guess we'll see... however, though we might not actually see, as Jaustin are way less open on social media than Derdick and Jilly.

[mizandry]

2 hours ago, cptbailey said:

Austin strikes me as extremely traditional and fundie. He'll likely wanna continue in whatever way he was raised. And we've already seen that Joy is all about what Austin wants. I'd say it's pretty likely they'd use Pearl-style methods. I think these two are even more fundie than Derrick/Jill. But I guess we'll see... however, though we might not actually see, as Jaustin are way less open on social media than Derdick and Jilly.

Well, someone (Kate McMillin) posted this message she got from Fort Rock Family Camp about the Pearls on Pickles' facebook page, and it could very well be Austin: 

 

 

For anyone who needs context, here's To Train Up A Child in full. Link below if the hyperlink doesn't work: 

Spoiler

http://web.archive.org/web/20101104141241/http://www.achristianhome.com/to_train_up_a_child.htm

 

[BabyFactoryClosing]

...... well that's horrifying @mizandry

[lizzybee]

That makes me sick. Horrifying is right. It's one thing to kind of know that sort of thing probably went on and another when they come out and say it. Those poor children and children to be. Eff them. 

[brusselsgriffon]

I think it’s pretty clear that Austin wrote that, right? Or are there other young married people that work at Fort Rock? (I feel like if this person had children themselves, they might have added that in some way in the message) 

[singsingsing]

2 minutes ago, brusselsgriffon said:

I think it’s pretty clear that Austin wrote that, right? Or are there other young married people that work at Fort Rock? (I feel like if this person had children themselves, they might have added that in some way in the message) 

It could have been Austin's brother-in-law. Either way, a great window into the fact that, yes, these people are brainwashed, yes, they were abused, and yes, they plan to abuse their own children in turn. 

[Feministe9000]

22 minutes ago, lizzybee said:

That makes me sick. Horrifying is right. It's one thing to kind of know that sort of thing probably went on and another when they come out and say it. Those poor children and children to be. Eff them. 

 

46 minutes ago, mizandry said:

Well, someone (Kate McMillin) posted this message she got from Fort Rock Family Camp about the Pearls on Pickles' facebook page, and it could very well be Austin: 

 

 

For anyone who needs context, here's To Train Up A Child in full. Link below if the hyperlink doesn't work: 

  Reveal hidden contents

http://web.archive.org/web/20101104141241/http://www.achristianhome.com/to_train_up_a_child.htm

 

Austin, how do you "know" you live a much happier and fulfilling life because your parents used these "training" methods?

Answer: you do not know. It is not possible for you to know. You have never known anything else in your entire existence than that and the way you were raised. You haven't even been given the opportunity to asses and objectively look at the way you were raised.
This kind of sweeping, generalized language like he definitely 100% so super duper sure KNOWS for a fact, just exposes what is obvious to us all, that it is the opposite.

 

This an expected answer from Austin, I mean I think we can all agree.
What else was he gonna say? "Yes I agree! I hate my parents for using this evil method to beat the will out of me at a very young age so I am a compliant robot, along with my wife?" Nah no way.

This isn't surprising, given they are employees of FR and have to keep up appearances. And agreed along with what @singsingsing said, this confirms they were abused and have been deeply, DEEPLY brainwashed and isolated over a long period of time.

And, given that this Fort Rock thing is his Father's "brand", and the Duggars have been associated with that for a long time, it is their "brand" too, and then Joy has "Counting On" to worry about.
These two have a lot to lose not towing the party line, Austin has to play along, just like Joy does. They know that, even if they ever have any lingering independent thoughts that just won't go away that hmm maybe some of this is super fucked up (?!) it doesn't matter. None of that matters, they are in too deep.

 

 

[brusselsgriffon]

1 minute ago, singsingsing said:

It could have been Austin's brother-in-law. Either way, a great window into the fact that, yes, these people are brainwashed, yes, they were abused, and yes, they plan to abuse their own children in turn. 

Even though I knew it was true that JB & M used Pearl, and that it wouldn’t be a surprise if Austin’s parents did as well, for some reason that little confirmation that Joystin’a future child will grow up abused by the Pearls “training” makes me really, really sad. No child should have their will beaten out of them, and the fact that it’s parents are likely already planning this before it’s born—sick. So Joystin might not know the kid’s gender, but they do already know they’ll be hitting it should it ever crawl off a blanket.

Also, wtf is that about them living fuller and happier lives because they were “trained” with corporal punishment? That is some heavy brainwashing right there. 

[Rosalie]

10 hours ago, imokit said:

I don't think we've spoken about this yet https://www.fortrock.org/events/2017/fc-june-7-18/

In case anyone has any illusions about how Joy's child(ren) are likely to be parented 

For those who don't want to follow the link - the Pearls are hosting a conference/family camp at Joy's inlaws.

Poor children. Yes, I do live in a “nanny country”, and I do not agree with all laws and regulations brought upon the citizens by the government, but one very positive thing is that it is forbidden by law to discipline your children using physical abuse, eg. hitting, pinching, etc.

Not many comments one the webnews, but the comments are all negative. That is positive!

[Jenn The Heathen]

Weren’t Austin’s parents on a show about strict parents?

[Rosalie]

21 minutes ago, Jenn The Heathen said:

Weren’t Austin’s parents on a show about strict parents?

Yes, they participated in the TV show “World’s strictest parents”

http://fundamentalists.wikia.com/wiki/Forsyth_Family