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Dillards 49: Dull Dillards Dulling


samurai_sarah

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4 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Bare legs in Austin in January probably isn't much of a "cold" issue. :)

 

Edit:  Just checked. Right this minute it's 69ºF there.

It's been cold AF here lately (for us anyways). We have had TWO snow days and were so happy to see the temp leave the 30's yesterday. haha I never buy winter clothes because there is only a few cold days a year. I am so regretting that right now. 

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Lordie, I need a break from FJ. I scrolled through the wedding pics and saw Derick holding Sam. I about freaked the fuck right on out because there was a giant gash across Sam's head, but there were no comments about it...

And then I realized I had a streak of cat snot on my screen that perfectly lined up with Sam's bald head.

Carry on.

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Jill is defrauding me with these spectacular heels and nice legs! Mamma Mia! *swoons* 

In all seriousness though: I really hope that Jill is happy. My concern is that Jill has no real comparison for what treating her well vs. not so well is as she did not have any close contact with guys before Derick, and certainly doesn’t have male friends now. Probably her best comparison are her sisters’ husbands, who make Derick look sorta bad. I wonder if she is secretly feeling “less than” because her life didn’t quite turn out as perfectly as imagined, so she is looking for external validation through social media. 

The thing is that if she wasn’t under so much pressure, she could possibly seek proper marriage counseling or even consider a temporary separation if there are ongoing issues in their marriage. But the Duggars don’t believe in those things, so Jill certainly has to swallow any discontent and is left by herself wondering what she did wrong. And no matter how bad it gets, she can’t break up with Derick. 

Man, I don’t want to be her. :/ 

 

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I'm glad to finally hear what and where that post of her speaking was. So she was talking to a bunch of seventh graders during their lunch   as a part of some program for them at a Christian school? Her testimony and blah blah blah Derick. I bet a lot of FJers could guess the entirety of what she said during that speech and be pretty damn close, and some might get it verbatim.

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5 minutes ago, CaricatureQualities said:

I bet a lot of FJers could guess the entirety of what she said during that speech and be pretty dame close, and some might get it verbatim.

"Yall. Jesus will find you a husband. Yall will be so blessed. Pray a lot. I'm so blessed. God and Daddy found me a perfect husband. God cleared the way for my #besthusbandever to get his jaw fixed and wear braces. Yall just pray and keep sweet and yall will get a husband almost as wonderful as mine. Yall's husbands might even bring you chocolate milk and then you can Instagram that he's the "besthusbandever but he won't be, because mine is."

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Even if Derick really was the #besthubbyever, Jill's life since marriage has been rough. She dreamed of being a missionary midwife, and had to deal with the fact that she's not cut out for that life (and neither is Derick, IMO). She dreamed of lots of easy pregnancies and births like her mom, and now has to come to terms with the fact that a big family is likely not physically possible for her. Finding out you can't hack your dream career and can't have the family you want are MAJOR blows, for anyone, but Jill lacks coping skills and may be feeling this is a punishment or her fault. 

I just pray she doesn't start taking risks in order to "prove her trust in God" or in an attempt to be the wife and broodmare she was expected to be. 

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Whenever I talk to friends who are in that awkward 'questioning their serious relationship' phase (not ready to break up but not happy either) I usually suggest they focus on their own lives (friends, goals, work, etc) for the time being until they have more clarity. Usually to get out of the impossible question of 'should we break up or stay together?' But I have some friends who vascillate in that state for years and I think they always will. In those cases their best moments will come from the non-relationship parts of their lives (because of deadbeat significant others) so doubling down on those other parts seems best. That's Jill for sure. Life satisfaction will never come from Derick. If cute shoes, nose rings and pants help, go for it. Friends are even better.

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I Think it’s only a matter of time until Derick starts a podcast

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5 hours ago, artdecades said:

Jill called the girl her bestie! Jill has a friend! I hope this means she has more of a support system than just her family and what she normally shows on social media.

I was reading the first part in dobby's voice :pb_lol:.

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9 minutes ago, BlessingsVonFundiePants said:

I Think it’s only a matter of time until Derick starts a podcast

OMG, don`t give him ideas 

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14 minutes ago, Thorns said:

OMG, don`t give him ideas 

I thought it would be Josh opting for podcasting for ages after his fall from fame...and then Amy did a stunningly bad one on relationships that lasted about six episodes...now I can see The Dillard’s going this route (I’m also amazed Jill Rodrigues hasn’t started one but that’s a conversation for another thread). In think podcasts would be a game changer for FreeJingerite efficiency. We could listen while we do other things during the day...and then deconstruct them (a.k.a mock them mercilessly) on the threads at night! 

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3 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

The thing is that if she wasn’t under so much pressure, she could possibly seek proper marriage counseling or even consider a temporary separation if there are ongoing issues in their marriage. But the Duggars don’t believe in those things, so Jill certainly has to swallow any discontent and is left by herself wondering what she did wrong.

I disagree. We've seen both Jim Bob & Michelle and Josh & Anna attend marriage retreats plus J&A got some type of counseling after Joshgate 2. It's not secular marriage counseling but there are options they consider acceptable. If they thought it was necessary I can see JB&M doing everything necessary to get Jill and Derick help, not only to help their daughter but also even if it's just to avoid another Joshgate type scandal.

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12 hours ago, yeahtotally said:

OMG shoes!

 

Jill looks stunning! :my_heart:

Maybe Derick does have a foot fetish :brainbleach:

Love the necklaces too!

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If Jill is a bridesmaid in that dress, I noticed that all the others, including the bride, are wearing strappy sleeveless dresses, and she is wearing godly long sleeves. That cancels out the peekaboo knee.

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18 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

First time I’ve seen her in heels!!! She looks good

i wish she would’ve worn these for Joy’s wedding where she was the MOH instead of friking flip flops!!

also, while we’re on the topic of heels.. I wish Jinger would upgrade those wedge heels she always wears to something more according to her new style. We’ll we what each girl wears at Josiah’s wedding

Still give her a pass for the flip flops she was 7 months pregnant, I wouldn't have worn those heals either.  Also is it just me or is that dress just like Joy's Brides maids dress but in black? 

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46 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

If Jill is a bridesmaid in that dress, I noticed that all the others, including the bride, are wearing strappy sleeveless dresses, and she is wearing godly long sleeves. That cancels out the peekaboo knee.

Her dress looks a lot like what the bridesmaids wore in Joy's wedding. She might have borrowed one of her sisters'. 

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15 hours ago, yeahtotally said:

More pics from Jill. I think she may have been a bridesmaid.

 

This is the nicest pic of Jill -- she has such a relaxed smile, not like she's trying for it, but is just happy. She looks beautiful.

9 hours ago, Timetraveler said:

I was reading the first part in dobby's voice :pb_lol:.

:laughing-rolling:  You win the thread today! That was awesome.

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9 hours ago, Bethella said:

I disagree. We've seen both Jim Bob & Michelle and Josh & Anna attend marriage retreats plus J&A got some type of counseling after Joshgate 2. It's not secular marriage counseling but there are options they consider acceptable. If they thought it was necessary I can see JB&M doing everything necessary to get Jill and Derick help, not only to help their daughter but also even if it's just to avoid another Joshgate type scandal.

. . . But, would Derick go for it?

And if the headship doesn't agree, what choice does Jill have? :/

Also y'all I only saw the Instagram pics like ten minutes ago, and came straight over here to see what the verdicts were.

But also, I saw this image earlier on Instagram and thought I'd share lol.  Jill's getting there with her preacher's wife starter pack :pb_lol:

Spoiler

Screenshot_20180128-080105.thumb.png.b825690fc508eb6553325cd07db6ceec.png

- jinger's drinking non alcoholic champagne, so Jill can' be that' far behind

- She already wears the chucks

- she's sporting the nose ring, and has had henna before (and she strikes me as the gal who would actually get a Hebrew tatoo of "Israel")

- if she colors her hair purple, even if it's just a streak of temp. Dye I'm gonna clap in the background.  . . Still horrible beliefs, but any change from the status quo of Gothardism gets an "amen" from me!

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Jill is always bragging about Derick doing random things for her, whether she's pregnant or not. Out of curiosity, I went back through her Instagram and looked for the times she wasn't pregnant, and cataloged everything she praised Derick for doing*:

-Making her breakfast (a piece of toast, cut up fruit and a bowl of yogurt)

-Bringing her breakfast in bed (a bowl of cereal)

-In a 'happy birthday Derick' post: painting her nails, changing diapers, doing the dishes and doing laundry

-Bringing her breakfast in bed (cut up fruit and a bowl of cereal)

-Bringing her a bowl of green beans with salt and vinegar

*This isn't an exhaustive list. I only clicked on photos that looked like likely contenders. :P

As for marital counselling... I feel like Derick wouldn't submit to it. In his mind, I'm sure, he's the one who should be providing marital counselling to other people. He's got it all figured out, after all. I could be wrong, though, and I hope I am. 

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10 hours ago, Bethella said:

I disagree. We've seen both Jim Bob & Michelle and Josh & Anna attend marriage retreats plus J&A got some type of counseling after Joshgate 2. It's not secular marriage counseling but there are options they consider acceptable. If they thought it was necessary I can see JB&M doing everything necessary to get Jill and Derick help, not only to help their daughter but also even if it's just to avoid another Joshgate type scandal.

I feel like "marriage retreats" and "marriage seminars" are a big industry in fundieland. Fort Rock (hi Joystin) hosts one every year. There are similar ones all over the place. The tenor of these events is less "we need to work on our issues" and more "let's have a fun and edifying time being reprogrammed remembering to put family first!!!" I don't know if there's much serious counselling going on.

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Jill does look gorgeous, and that choice of shoes for her shocks me, but yay. I wonder how she felt about Derrick seeing the bride's shoulders? #nike

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A lot of Jill’s praise of Derick seems to be food-related. Which makes sense given her childhood, where she had to fight for her portion of food. 

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1 hour ago, nickelodeon said:

I feel like "marriage retreats" and "marriage seminars" are a big industry in fundieland. Fort Rock (hi Joystin) hosts one every year. There are similar ones all over the place. The tenor of these events is less "we need to work on our issues" and more "let's have a fun and edifying time being reprogrammed remembering to put family first!!!" I don't know if there's much serious counselling going on.

Counselling  in fundie land is not very effective.  Guilt and shame for women and children for not praying enough obeying enough etc ect blah blah blah.  Just more brainwashing.  Really sad.

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