Jinjer 35: The Baby Wait

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 minute ago, Daisy0322 said:

Alright y'all I'm probably going to get down voted to all hell for this but, oh well. Can we go back to having fun please? I think that's why most of us come here, it's okay to disagree with each other without attacking each other's morals. We are an fj fam and part of what great about it is that we come from different back grounds and bring different points of view. But with that said I think we should all try to be a little kinder to each other. 

Alright I'll leave it at that, agree with me or not no hard feelings 

I have a hard time criticizing the married kidults like Joy, Jinger & Joe, they haven't SAID anything hateful, Joy's posted prolife crap but, she's entitled to her opinion and to stand on the side of the road making an ass of herself, as long as they don't get in peoples faces literally. No I don't agree with it and it pisses me off but they do have the RIGHT to say this garbage, and we have a right to call them on it. Derrick and Josh & Jeremy(with his hate preaching) are fair game they keep on being assholes, so they get what they get.  Even Ben & Jessa have stepped back the right wing BS and now just post cute pics and cute stories. 

My BFF is a right wing fundy we fight politics and most just agree to disagree and tip toe around it. As someone said up thread (sorry can't find it and can't remember who) being dicks to strangers on line won't change their thoughts, hell even being nice to them about it won't change anyone's thoughts, BUT you have a much better chance of getting them to understand your POV and THINK about theirs if you can be rational and give your thoughts with out calling them stupid assholes.   

[Palimpsest]

21 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

I think the ice came before the broom. It probably developed in cold climates where kids had seasonal ice to play on and just wanted a pick-up style game that anyone could play without needing a ton of gear. 

I've always assumed broomball is to curling as netball is to basketball, rounders is to softball, and softball is to baseball.  Just different versions and rules growing out of an older sport.

[Meggo]

On ‎1‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 4:06 AM, Otto Titsling said:

I also wanted to add to funny stories about Dads.

My sister was born without a uterus, so she knew adoption was her process. Hubby was her high school sweetheart and said it never mattered a bit. 

When her and hubby were going through the adoption process, he was completely aloof. He was bored throughout the entire process. But let’s face it, it’s paperwork. For him, it was not tangible. He participated, but that was it. 

Fast forward to that baby boy arriving at JFK. The minute that nun layed that boy in his arms, a better father couldn’t be found. He treasured that child. And in spite of a later divorce, he has always been a great dad. Even my sister, who later referred to him as “that rotten prick”, says that he has always been a great dad. My point being, that while everyone may not be a “born parenting type”, many turn out fabulous. 

This. 100% this. Our adoption worker didn't like my husband, said she didn't see how everyone we knew raved about how he was with kids. She didn't see it. And he didn't get excited about ANY of it (it was a long process - so that was smart). He liked kids enough - but hated (and still doesn't like) the feel of their plastic toys. He was totally grossed out by bottles and pacifiers etc - for other kids.

But when we met our son in the hospital? And there was a chance it could have fallen through? He got totally Papa Bear. That was HIS boy. And he is a complete mush pot now. He gets emotional about kids being sick or abused (not that it didn't upset him before - but now he tears up about news stories). He changed diapers, he did bottles, he kept a spare pacifier in his car - he tells people "you think it's gross or whatever- but when it's YOUR kid? It's a whole different ball game - you're happy to do it."

He's a great dad and he loves his boy to the moon and back.

[byzant]

Any ideas on were she got the grey skirt in the pregnancy annoncement?so pretty! 

[Million Children For Jesus]

1 hour ago, Meggo said:

He liked kids enough - but hated (and still doesn't like) the feel of their plastic toys. He was totally grossed out by bottles and pacifiers etc - for other kids.

I'm with him. Disgusting. 

[Edhelfin]

10 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

In my head it’s perfectly ok that you hate strangers from a reality show. But this forum is a hobby to me personally, not my life.

Thank you for your nice answer. I mostly agree, but in my opinion, they are not 'strangers', especially to those who live in the US. Not everyone knows Duggars personally and I know it is a big country, but the fact that they are promoting, endorsing and lobbying for a lot of conservative bills to pass (also remember the Santorum fiasco back in the time, anti-choice actions, Michelle's transphobic robocalls, Joshley working for that hate organisation, Derick drooling for Trump) have a potential effect on the society you are a member of. Add the media exposure to this and they become more dangerous than your average fundie that merely spews their beliefs in their church, immediate family/community or through their blog.

10 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

Again, not saying you can’t do those things, or that I mind your contributions in any way (I don’t). But this forum is a diverse collection of people with diverse knowledge, experience, faiths etc. It is inevitable that our modes of interaction with this topic will differ. 

Again you are right and very nice about it! I totally get what you are saying. It is just that the disclaimer 'Free Jinger is not a Duggar fan site. We exist to discuss the damage caused by fundamentalists' gives me the impression that the majority of discussion that takes place in here should be critical of Duggars. Lately the balance seems to be shifting in quasi-leghumpers' favour and I sometimes think I am on a TV forum such as Digital Spy rather than a snark website. But I understand if the change that is taking place is welcomed by many, it is my problem. In a democratic environment, the will of the majority shapes the space.

4 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

Challenging people you know or don't know on social media is a GREAT way  to make people become introspective and change their beliefs......said no one ever.   I'm sorry but flaming people on social media only makes people on whatever side of whatever issue more entrenched in their beliefs.  I don't know of a single person who looked at a confrontational post, a meme or other communication that proclaimed "You're are wrong, you suck and here's why" and said to themselves "Gee, I see your point, you are right!"    

It might make  you feel better getting something off your chest, but there are much better ways to affect change.  Social media isn't high on the list IMHO.  Slack-tivisim at its finest.

I think this is a very black and white way of generalising things. I am no naive techno-optimist but slacktivism is an umbrella term and not every online action of resistance/disagreement can be dismissed as useless. For example my beliefs about gay marriage and abortion have changed greatly due to being challenged online. Not because I grew up in a fundie family, we just did not talk about these things much and I was indifferent and dismissive about these topics at best. Now I am 100% pro marriage equality and pro-choice. 

 

 

[LacyMay]

53 minutes ago, byzant said:

Any ideas on were she got the grey skirt in the pregnancy annoncement?so pretty! 

Welcome to FJ! I have no idea where she got the skirt, but I agree it looked great on her. I personally would never be able to pull off the high waisted circle skirt (hips and all that) But she does it well. Also I loved the shirt. 

[Lillymuffin]

20 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Well a disturbing question just popped into my mind. If you had to hump any fundie, who would it be? And I’m not talking about being a fan.

Kirk Cameron, as he was in Growing Pains, no question. (Although his character definitely wasn’t a fundie, so does that count?) 

[tabitha2]

Hump a fundie? Y’all ever see Andrew Wissmann? Those arms!

A set of  strong well muscled arms on a man  Is my biggest physical turn on. 

[LacyMay]

37 minutes ago, Edhelfin said:

Again you are right and very nice about it! I totally get what you are saying. It is just that the disclaimer 'Free Jinger is not a Duggar fan site. We exist to discuss the damage caused by fundamentalists' gives me the impression that the majority of discussion that takes place in here should be critical of Duggars. Lately the balance seems to be shifting in quasi-leghumpers' favour and I sometimes think I am on a TV forum such as Digital Spy rather than a snark website. But I understand if the change that is taking place is welcomed by many, it is my problem. In a democratic environment, the will of the majority shapes the space.

There's now a discussion mentioning this stuff over in the community discussion. I get what you're saying, but I really think that talking about board wide culture and tone would best be done in a different thread (there's also been some suggestions made about adding more threads etc) that could be useful to this discussion. 

[Calypso]

20 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Well a disturbing question just popped into my mind. If you had to hump any fundie, who would it be? And I’m not talking about being a fan.

Id probably pick Nathan or Trace Bates. Cute guys with some pretty nice muscles  Hard no on Lawson though. I dont think id be able to handle him opening his mouth 

[SongRed7]

11 minutes ago, Edhelfin said:

I think this is a very black and white way of generalising things. I am no naive techno-optimist but slacktivism is an umbrella term and not every online action of resistance/disagreement can be dismissed as useless. For example my beliefs about gay marriage and abortion have changed greatly due to being challenged online. Not because I grew up in a fundie family, we just did not talk about these things much and I was indifferent and dismissive about these topics at best. Now I am 100% pro marriage equality and pro-choice. 

I didn't mean to come across as rude. My apologies. I am 100% with you on these issues, and while social media and online sources can be great in terms of education, I also 100% believe that "calling out and confronting" people online is not the most effective way to change opinions.  I think it just causes people to become more encamped in their own thinking. Maybe on a smaller level within their own groups people are more apt to listening and reassess when you confront them (respectfully and politely) on certain issues. But "calling out" total strangers on social media pages usual ends in hard feelings, deletions, accusations -- no real progress except making the person doing the challenging feel superior "I TOLD them" without making an bit of difference in the world.  

I see it here all the time.   People bragging how they told "so and so" (insert name of fundie) there piece of mind (calling them a jerk, asshole, etc) and boasting how the comment was deleted, they were blocked or "attacked" by the thumpers.  If people really wanted to make a difference in the world, scolding them on social media isn't the way.  Just my humble opinion. 

 

[geergirl]

23 hours ago, MakeItSo said:

@HarryPotterFan fellow Harry Potter fan, further discussion can be arranged I actually completely changed gears from what I was doing for my undergrad (which was film studies) and am now in a criminology program. I initially wanted to focus on injuries in relation to fighting/checking, but then ended up doing it on equipment and injuries instead. It was interesting to delve into mechanisms of injury, equipment, league rules (checking or non-checking), etc and how it all connects. We were allowed to stray away from traditional criminology last semester for our projects. They wanted us to just get used to researching and setting up a project but since criminology is part of sociology, it really wasn't that far-fetched. If you get the chance to watch the documentary Ice Guardians (2016), a lot of what I have come with up was covered on it, as well. To my surprise, a criminologist actually was interviewed for this documentary, which made me really happy to see. It focused on fighting and the role of the enforcer in hockey. Sorry for the gushing. Any time I can combine one of my passions with school or work I get really excited haha

Ice Guardians is fantastic and unfortunately didn't get much publicity.  I only heard about it because I follow Kelly Chase on Twitter.  Your research sounds very interesting.  It's a topic I have found interesting for quite some time.  For example, concussions have been happening in hockey from the beginning.  But (to my knowledge) there weren't the Lindros type situations.  Gordie Howe's elbows would have been even more devastating with a hard plastic shell on the pads like there are now.  The guys are bigger, faster, and in better shape but I think there's a lot that has changed because of the equipment.  Not unlike football vs rugby.

[Rachel333]

There's an interesting TED talk by Megan Phelps-Roper about how she left the Westboro Baptist Church. She says that what changed her mind was people being nice to her and having respectful discussions, not people yelling insults at her. A lot of conservative Christians, not just the WBC, believe that when non-Christians attack Christians for their beliefs that shows Christians that they're doing what God wants them to do. Megan even specifically mentions twitter and how the hostile responses she got on there were exactly what she expected, but then she started having more civil conversations with people that slowly made her question the hateful beliefs she was raised with.

Here's the transcript of her speech, and here's the video:

 

[Glasgowghirl]

21 hours ago, WhoompThereItIs said:

Rufus forgive me, but the horse whisperer himself, Lawson. That boy is fine as hell. He'd just need to keep his mouth shut.

I'd take Lawson too, he can go to the supermarket and buy my groceries for me like he did for his parents.

[CorruptionInc.]

30 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

There's an interesting TED talk by Megan Phelps-Roper about how she left the Westboro Baptist Church. She says that what changed her mind was people being nice to her and having respectful discussions, not people yelling insults at her. A lot of conservative Christians, not just the WBC, believe that when non-Christians attack Christians for their beliefs that shows Christians that they're doing what God wants them to do. Megan even specifically mentions twitter and how the hostile responses she got on there were exactly what she expected, but then she started having more civil conversations with people that slowly made her question the hateful beliefs she was raised with.

Here's the transcript of her speech

I watched this TED talk a while ago and found it very interesting. You have to open your mind up to experience differences and once you do, life gets so much better.

[Carm_88]

@HarryPotterFan James Arndt is totally bangable. So are Paul, Luke, John, Jude, Mark...errr...all of the older ones!  I mean I'd probably be doing in on a bunk bed with penguin sheets while Cathy Arndt banged on the door but hey!  

*I'm totally joking about the second part. The first part is true! They're totally bangable! 

[SongRed7]

35 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

There's an interesting TED talk by Megan Phelps-Roper about how she left the Westboro Baptist Church. She says that what changed her mind was people being nice to her and having respectful discussions, not people yelling insults at her.

Thank you for sharing this. I just watched this.  It was amazing and good lessons for all of us 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

I didn't mean to come across as rude. My apologies. I am 100% with you on these issues, and while social media and online sources can be great in terms of education, I also 100% believe that "calling out and confronting" people online is not the most effective way to change opinions.  I think it just causes people to become more encamped in their own thinking. Maybe on a smaller level within their own groups people are more apt to listening and reassess when you confront them (respectfully and politely) on certain issues. But "calling out" total strangers on social media pages usual ends in hard feelings, deletions, accusations -- no real progress except making the person doing the challenging feel superior "I TOLD them" without making an bit of difference in the world.  

I see it here all the time.   People bragging how they told "so and so" (insert name of fundie) there piece of mind (calling them a jerk, asshole, etc) and boasting how the comment was deleted, they were blocked or "attacked" by the thumpers.  If people really wanted to make a difference in the world, scolding them on social media isn't the way.  Just my humble opinion. 

 

I actually agree with you and I’m one of the people you’re alluding to in your post. I was blocked by Derick very recently, but I honestly wasn’t looking to change his mind about anything. I just don’t want some poor kid who is questioning their sexuality or gender identity to stumble across his Twitter feed and see a bunch of people agreeing with the horrible things he was saying. I have loved ones who are LGBTQIA - I know just how damaging it can be for a vulnerable person to see shit like that, especially when it’s not being called out.

But yeah. If you’re reasoning is to try and effect change in that specific person then there are far better ways of going about it.

ETA: I’ll also add I don’t like the idea of making additional twitter accounts once blocked to continue bugging these people. I feel I made my views clear and he has the right to block me if he wants to. If I ever did make a second account (for whatever reason), then I’d either avoid his Twitter like the plague or I’d take a gentler approach on engaging him (like asking why he says certain things rather than rolling my eyes and telling him he’s a hypocrite.)

[SongRed7]

1 minute ago, VelociRapture said:

I just don’t want some poor kid who is questioning their sexuality or gender identity to stumble across his Twitter feed and see a bunch of people agreeing with the horrible things he was saying. I have loved ones who are LGBTQIA - I know just how damaging it can be for a vulnerable person to see shit like that, especially when it’s not being called out.

I get what you're saying and 100% understand that too. :-)   

[Glasgowghirl]

Megan had a heart and feelings somewhere inside her for her to question her ways, in one of the documentaries I watched, my friend and I both got the feeling she was questioning the beliefs of the church and wasn't as enthusiastic as the rest of her family. I was glad to see she had left.

Maybe one or more of the Duggar or Bates kids will begin to question their beliefs and maybe be persuaded by people on social media. I don't see it ever being Derick. Ben and Jessa and Jeremy and Jinger may drift towards more mainstream conservative Christian beliefs but I don't see any of them breaking away to the extent of being atheists or pagans.

[MarcyMM]

Has it ever been said or shown that Jinger and Jeremy have a tv? As I watched the Golden Globes last night, I couldn't help but think of the married Duggar women who are experiencing more freedoms and wondering if that includes "regular" television. And if they did watch, what would they think of the speeches and movement in general. Although, the only one that really spoke to me was Oprah's (I still think there's A LOT of hipocrisy there).

Do you think any of them would, deep (deep) down, think 'huh, maybe I do have more to offer this world, my life, other than churn out babies'?

[tabitha2]

The main Duggar family has a tv and so do the Joshies. Mostly used for Approved shows like Andy Griffith and other suitable wholesome fair and kids shows like Veggie Tales. I assume the other families do much the same.

[MarcyMM]

But what if Ben, Jeremy or even Derick grew up watching tv? Do you think they'd give it up completely just because they married a Duggar?

[tabitha2]

They are the headships.They don’t have to do anything. In theory they could pick the shows they deem suitable or not suitable for their family’s or even disallow the kids TV while they watch whatever or even ban the wives TV though would not go that far with any of them.