Seewalds 28: Marketing Kids as Deflection

[HarleyQuinn]

1 hour ago, brusselsgriffon said:

Ben Seewald, fundie feminist! (A girl can dream)

He protects our virtue.

[marmalade]

1 hour ago, SportsgalAnnie said:

I know this is probably crazy but maybe Ben pays more attention to the world outside the fundie bubble and he's realizing that a relationship is a partnership. 

I remember that young woman in the Duggar AMA on Reddit saying that the Seewalds have the most "equal" marriage in terms of male headships. I wonder if Jessa is still exhibiting her strong personality in the marriage, or did she capitulate as Michelle wanted her to? Eh, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. Jessa doesn't seem nearly as domineering as she use to be. 

[EmmieJ]

One thing is certain:  Ben and Jessa have produced two very adorable little boys.  Almost as adorable as my son was at that age.  (Sort of kidding, sort of not ~ lol)

[Glasgowghirl]

I can understand why Jill and Jessa would want to spend time at their parents house and it's not just the free babysitting. They have both went from living in a crowded house to being married and lonely. Going by their instagram posts the only visit two or three times a week. Isreal and Spurgeon both get to play with their aunts and uncles and Jill and Jessa get to have adult company. These girls never got experience any alone time growing up, Jill couldn't handle Derick working and her being alone

[SportsgalAnnie]

1 hour ago, marmalade said:

I remember that young woman in the Duggar AMA on Reddit saying that the Seewalds have the most "equal" marriage in terms of male headships. I wonder if Jessa is still exhibiting her strong personality in the marriage, or did she capitulate as Michelle wanted her to? Eh, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. Jessa doesn't seem nearly as domineering as she use to be. 

My guess would be a combination of chasing two adorable toddlers around and having more of a give and take relationship.  Having kids can change people, I've seen both sides of that coin in my journey through life.  

[BecausePrayer]

2 hours ago, marmalade said:

Jessa doesn't seem nearly as domineering as she use to be. 

I think she probably doesn't need to be. Within her world she is an adult, and she no longer lives in her parents house with all of the kids running around. If Ben sees her as a more equal partner and listens to her she probably doesn't need to be as outspoken or "bossy" as she was in the past, since she's being heard within her home anyway. Just a guess of course.

[Iamtheway]

Who would have thought Ben would be the Duggar husband you'd want to marry if you had to chose one? 

[Marly]

Regarding Ben’s tweet, although I am glad that he seems to believe women are more than just helpmeets, and I do believe he treats Jessa as an equal partner in marriage (that is, I don't think he believes that being the man of the house somehow makes him 'better' or 'higher in ranking' than Jessa) I think it's important to remember that he most likely still uses the "God created Adam and Eve" verse to condemn homosexuality and transgender people.
He might have a more ‘progressive’ attitude about certain issues than his fundy parents and in-laws, and don’t get me wrong, I’m glad about that, I’m glad that he doesn’t just blindly follow the majority opinion expressed in his fundy circle, as it shows that he is at least to a certain degree able to think for himself, but his overall believes are(/appear to be) still firmly rooted in Christian fundamentalism. Of course, I hope that his ability to think for himself might help him to slowly move away from Christian fundamentalism someday, (a woman can hope), but until anything like that happens and that happening has been verified, I’m under no illusion about the nature of his overall beliefs.

[SorenaJ]

I really don't understand the reasoning behind "God created Adam and Eve". Yeah, but surely he also created the rest of us, and some of us are queer af. Also, it would make sense to have an opposite-sex couple to begin with, so they could get children and populate the Earth. I mean, if you'd had Adam and Steve as the first couple, you'd kinda be stuck. So yeah, I mean, yeah God created Adam and Eve, but he also created billions of gay people. 

[BabyFactoryClosing]

While I'm sure that 90% of Bens beliefs would make me gag, I actually have a soft spot for him and Jessa for this reason: Ben is (seemingly) a better dad and husband than a solid 80% of liberal fathers I know. I got lucky enough to have a fabulous husband that fully comprehends that our children possess half his DNA and are thus as much his deal as mine but so many of my friends have partners that will happily attend a planned parenthood rally and then go home and be horribly offended that they need to hold the baby for 3 minutes while their wife heats up a bottle. If Ben is half as involved as Jessa makes it seem, he gets props from me for not just being a good dad by fundie standards (which lets face it, isn't hard) but also by general population standards.

[jacduggar]

28 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

I really don't understand the reasoning behind "God created Adam and Eve". Yeah, but surely he also created the rest of us, and some of us are queer af. Also, it would make sense to have an opposite-sex couple to begin with, so they could get children and populate the Earth. I mean, if you'd had Adam and Steve as the first couple, you'd kinda be stuck. So yeah, I mean, yeah God created Adam and Eve, but he also created billions of gay people. 

They believe being LGTBQ+ is a choice, not how one is born. Basically the idea is god created everyone straight and somewhere along the way some people just decided to be gay, hence why they believe in things like conversion therapy. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

The comments of Jessa "always" being at the TTH or what ever mommy/parent shaming, or people who assume because I did it this way everyone should do it the exact same way.  My kids were probably at my folks house twice a week and my sister still lived at home, we only lived a mile apart when they were small. My kids were the only grandkids my parents had for 10 years so they enjoyed them, I wasn't there as much but it was my only break from the kids so I enjoyed it, as did my kids they got to play with their Aunt and Grandma and Grandpa (before my parents divorce), I didn't have aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents around when I was growing up, they all lived 600 miles away, my grandmother was an ice queen so the few times a year we did see her we were scared of her, my grandfather died before I was born and my dads dad died when I was 12 and lived 800 miles away, his mom lived 1100 miles away we only saw her twice before she died. I wanted grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles for my kids as horrible a mother as my mom was she was a good grandmother and my kids love her (in small doses now) and their pop pop (again in small doses).  I never begrudge people who want to keep that family connection it is very important to a lot of folks.   

[Carm_88]

I know that Ben still has beliefs that I don't share and I find horrid, but that being said, he's learning. I actually get the feeling that Ben is thinking, he may seem dopey, and is letting his mind maybe wander a little. Yeah, still bad beliefs but I like a willingness to learn. Now perhaps Ben will start preaching and completely snap my beliefs here and that is completely possible. I just see him as the softer side as of right now.*

*I know that's because the other Duggar husbands have been attacking teenaged girls on twitter (Derick), preaching against the homosexuality (Jeremy), and protesting abortion (Austin). 

[Hisey]

5 hours ago, Marly said:

Regarding Ben’s tweet, although I am glad that he seems to believe women are more than just helpmeets, and I do believe he treats Jessa as an equal partner in marriage (that is, I don't think he believes that being the man of the house somehow makes him 'better' or 'higher in ranking' than Jessa) I think it's important to remember that he most likely still uses the "God created Adam and Eve" verse to condemn homosexuality and transgender people.
He might have a more ‘progressive’ attitude about certain issues than his fundy parents and in-laws, and don’t get me wrong, I’m glad about that, I’m glad that he doesn’t just blindly follow the majority opinion expressed in his fundy circle, as it shows that he is at least to a certain degree able to think for himself, but his overall believes are(/appear to be) still firmly rooted in Christian fundamentalism. Of course, I hope that his ability to think for himself might help him to slowly move away from Christian fundamentalism someday, (a woman can hope), but until anything like that happens and that happening has been verified, I’m under no illusion about the nature of his overall beliefs.

I guess I'm missing the point here. I'm sure I disagree with Ben on a whole host of issues, homosexuality and transgender issues being only one of many. I don't think that takes away from the fact that he seems to be doing a good job having a respectful marital relationship and being a caring father.

I don't need someone to agree with me on everything in order to notice a good quality about them.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

I know that Ben still has beliefs that I don't share and I find horrid, but that being said, he's learning. I actually get the feeling that Ben is thinking, he may seem dopey, and is letting his mind maybe wander a little. Yeah, still bad beliefs but I like a willingness to learn. Now perhaps Ben will start preaching and completely snap my beliefs here and that is completely possible. I just see him as the softer side as of right now.*

*I know that's because the other Duggar husbands have been attacking teenaged girls on twitter (Derick), preaching against the homosexuality (Jeremy), and protesting abortion (Austin). 

We also all need to get over each other having different opinions, to a point.  Ben, at this time seems to have some changing/growing /maturing beliefs, and if my flaming liberal self, and others like me can say "that is great, that you can look at this differently now" and talk constructively and politely and, at times just agree to disagree out of respect for different opinions, I've found that this goes a LONG LONG way in getting people like him to move even further away from their hateful attitudes. The older I get the more I'm seeing that dragging people like the Duggar's kicking and screaming into out land just pushes them further into their beliefs. We'll never change all their minds but if you can snag a handful here and there that is a good thing. And you really do catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but you can really get more with shit.

Long story short, people HATE it when you call them stupid (no matter how ignorant and clueless they are) and will just shut you down after that. But if you can say I don't agree with what you think I understand where you are coming from and here is where I come from, does this make you understand my POV better?  The only thing we've gotten by all digging our heals in the sand is President Trump, that isn't good for ANYONE but the likes of the white Fundy Patriarchy.

[Carm_88]

@allthegoodnamesrgone That's a good point and I do think that you would be able to have a decent discussion with Ben. I don't think that you would be able to have a discussion with Derick. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

7 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

@allthegoodnamesrgone That's a good point and I do think that you would be able to have a decent discussion with Ben. I don't think that you would be able to have a discussion with Derick. 

Yep, as I said there is no hope for some people, like my parents, they are too enmeshed, my brother, while staunchly conservative, in most areas, I was able to turn away from the GOP, if only to the Libertarian party,  because he is actually quite socially liberal (doesn't begrudge gays marrying, doesn't care if you are transgender, is pro choice), and it beats being a Trumper. IMO anyway.  

It doesn't matter WHAT you say to someone like Derick, he's going to be a dick about it if he disagrees with you in any small way.  I can see Jeremy and maybe Austin being more subtlety dickish about gays, but not out and out assholey like Derrick is.  Now Abortion, I think they might both be epic assholes, just like Derick, but Jeremy could probably be more diplomatic about it if not "preaching to his flock" about it.

[bekkah]

God loves our flawed selfs anyway, he even if you believe. Instead of spewing hate, they should be actively learning about others and how they can serve. 

Seewalds: There is evidence of learning about "the other". 

The Grifters: Not so much. 

JinJer: Still out on this one. They do read. 

 

J'Austin: Still out on them as well. 

[SassyPants]

I think at this point, the Vuolos have the best shot because they are not living within reach of Duggarville. Best thing for the Seewalds would be to move outside the Duggar cone. Ben has growth potential, but he needs to move away from the tentacles that bind, constrict and prevent that independence and growth-

They all need to employee JB and M's "leave and cleave" motto.

JB and M were free to their lives and make whatever wacky choices they decided, and their children are certainly allowed to do the same. Too bad the kidults don't realize that fact.

[purplepeony]

Ben liked the following tweet so not quite fundy feminist yet!

 

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

I had a dream last night I was at a summer camp with Ben and Jessa. I think it's because my husband found Camp Rock 2 on Netflix last night.

Also, there was some previous discussion of that Genesis movie Jessa was pimping out on Facebook and people were wanting to see Jesus riding a dinosaur. Ask and you shall receive. I liked it so much, I made it my avatar. 

[albireo]

Wasn't that Jasmine Holmes née Baucham he was quoting? I'm interested to know what that means in terms of her own marriage, but I'm not expecting much other than semantic manipulation and maybe some "women's ministry" type things. AFAIK she's still plenty fundy.

[WiseGirl]

6 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

@allthegoodnamesrgone That's a good point and I do think that you would be able to have a decent discussion with Ben. I don't think that you would be able to have a discussion with Derick. 

Would it be bad of me if my first question was "Ben, what do you really think of Derick? "

[Sky with diamonds]

10 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I know that Ben still has beliefs that I don't share and I find horrid, but that being said, he's learning. I actually get the feeling that Ben is thinking, he may seem dopey, and is letting his mind maybe wander a little. Yeah, still bad beliefs but I like a willingness to learn. Now perhaps Ben will start preaching and completely snap my beliefs here and that is completely possible. I just see him as the softer side as of right now.*

*I know that's because the other Duggar husbands have been attacking teenaged girls on twitter (Derick), preaching against the homosexuality (Jeremy), and protesting abortion (Austin). 

I really hope Been doesn't end up like Derick. Derick disgusts me. I do have hope for Ben and Jeremy the most. 

[Carm_88]

17 minutes ago, Sky with diamonds said:

I really hope Been doesn't end up like Derick. Derick disgusts me. I do have hope for Ben and Jeremy the most. 

I honestly don't think Ben will end up like Derick. He kinda started with the hammer down and eased off. Of course, Ben had the being young thing going for him. I think they learned to keep the worst parts of their beliefs to themselves. Derick, just doesn't care, and he knows that his Mama will come to his defense.