Lori Alexander 33: Counting Everyone's Calories

[Timetraveler]

Wait...female pastors are Jezebels and are being deceived by satan himself? 

Wow. One of my best (female) friends is a pastor, and she is wonderful at her job. She treats everyone so kindly and with compassion, something that cannot be said of Lori. I don't believe in God or Jesus, but something tells me he/she would not be happy with Lori's behavior and attitude towards others.

[smittykins]

 As I've mentioned before, the previous two priests at my Episcopal church were female, and they were both awesome.

[TeddyBonkers]

Lori likes to think of herself as a Godly older woman, but look at who she sets up as an example in her post today! A woman who actually took care of her house and those in it, worked with her hands, cooked more than a mouldery salmonella salad, and was a giving woman.

It's like the hypocrisy writes itself.

[older than allosaurs]

Lori says:

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The NIV states "busy at home." As someone commented on my post: “Keepers” is a noun, a person who guards or watches. “Busy” is a verb, actively engaged in work. Two totally different meanings. You cannot possibly guard or watch over your home if you aren’t there to do so.

 

More usage fails from people who can't analyze and don't know basic grammar.

"Busy" under that definition is an adjective, not a verb. If she wants to use it as a verb--"I busy myself at home"--then the same applies to keep--"I keep my home." And by this logic, how do husbands lead [a verb!] their households when they are gone working most of the time. And, to channel Ken, can we not agree that a keeper of the home is not going to get the home tidy or that dinner on the table if she is not also busy? "A person who guards or watches" is too busy peeking out from behind the curtain to see if anyone is sinning out there on the sidewalk.

 

 

[Sarah92]

I think when I also looked it up keeper of the home meant protector of the home as well. Which I think is pretty cool actually because they always put guys as the macho defenders. But I personally don't see much difference between the two wordings. Helper and keeper still kinda mean the same to me. And I still don't think it means women have to just stay home if they do not want to. It also doesn't bar husband from doing things at home. There is no verse that I have found that says husbands thou shall not help thy wife cook and clean, to do so would decrease you manliness. 

[Sarah92]

Also wtf does she ever stop insulting people? It's not common? No it's not common because many actual godly women don't live up to your standards. I have known many godly women, all of my aunts are godly women, I work with godly women, the ladies at my churches are godly women.

And also that statement wasn't biblical because Eve didn't go against Adam as her head she sinned directly against God. The verses you derive the "husbands are to be over wives thing from" doesn't come until after the fall which would suggest it was a punishment. Of course I think those verses are often misconstrued but whatever. 

[Pammy]

1 hour ago, older than allosaurs said:

More usage fails from people who can't analyze and don't know basic grammar.

"Busy" under that definition is an adjective, not a verb. If she wants to use it as a verb--"I busy myself at home"--then the same applies to keep--"I keep my home." ...

The bigger fail is to for Lori to examine translated grammar in an attempt to understand a text written in another language. In the text's first language what you have is the vague adjective "house-ish" or "household-ish" -- which is very hard to translate.

It seems to mean someone who is generally oriented, attentive and loyal towards the benefit of one's household and family. This would include the wider business endeavours of one's household. It would apply differently to different female household members (wife, daughter, daughter in law, servant, slave or more distant member of a patronage network). I think that the emphasis should be read towards 'loyalty' -- a sense that women should 'buy in' to the best interests of the extended family she is a part of.

It might also imply a physical orientation towards 'staying mostly at home' -- in the sense that Christian women ought to avoid the pagan social web of obligations and visitations among higher class women. Those "night life" types of activities (feasts, entertainments, religious rituals) might have been considered unsavoury and best avoided. This is what Lori regularly implies, but she substitutes the ordinary morally neutral activities of daily life into the 'best avoided' category without any consideration for the original context.

[TeddyBonkers]

1 hour ago, Sarah92 said:

Also wtf does she ever stop insulting people? It's not common? No it's not common because many actual godly women don't live up to your standards. I have known many godly women, all of my aunts are godly women, I work with godly women, the ladies at my churches are godly women.

 

Here is a gif, from me to you:

Spoiler

 

[Koala]

Lori:

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Dr. Marshall always said on his radio program that eating out is playing Russian Roulette with your health.  You have no idea what is in the food 

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Going to a restaurant normally costs at least three times the money that you'd spend eating at home, so you should really only decide to go to the restaurant if you think it will be three times more fun than eating at home. It's not, in my opinion.

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It does seem like home-cooking your food is going by the wayside. I see all these state-of-the-art kitchens and no one using them

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A lot of women are too busy to fix home-cooked food thanks to the majority of women working outside of the home. 

Or in Lori's case, not working, and still eating out. 

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When you eat out, you have no idea what is in the food.

And, another restaurant picture:

I guess it's okay for them to eat out multiple times a week, just as long as her readers aren't doing it.

[louisa05]

She looks a lot older than him. 

[Sarah92]

25 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

She looks a lot older than him. 

It's the cheezwiz and unhealthy food. It's preserving him. Also he hasn't had to live with the weight of constantly being told to keep silent (not that Lori does). 

[pamplemousse]

Let's see here... (@Koala, I hope you don't mind my elaborating on your post)

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Dr. Marshall always said on his radio program that eating out is playing Russian Roulette with your health.  You have no idea what is in the food

Eating Lori's home-prepared food is playing Russian Roulette with your health. Who wants salmonella with their 4-day old salad with 3-week old raw egg salad dressing?  And what if there are hepatitis and E. coli in those raw veggies Lori might serve up?  Nah, I will take my chances with restaurant food, thank you very much.

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Going to a restaurant normally costs at least three times the money that you'd spend eating at home

Considering how expensive a lot of the food Lori buys is ($6/doz. eggs! $14/lb. butter!), it may only cost twice as much, or even the same amount, as what she'd spend to eat at home for her to eat out.  I have to admit, if it cost me as much to eat at home as it did to eat out, I'd be tempted to save myself the effort of driving all over the place to buy my food and then prepare it myself.

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It does seem like home-cooking your food is going by the wayside. I see all these state-of-the-art kitchens and no one using them

Going by the wayside?  In Lori's case, except for her soup, bland roast chicken, and very expensive chocolate chip cookies, home-cooking her food never was there to go by the wayside in the first place.  And as for not using her state-of-the-art kitchen... hahahaaha... yeah, she's one to talk.

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A lot of women are too busy to fix home-cooked food

Lori is too busy to fix home-cooked food because she is too busy sitting on her bony old butt at her computer and phone all day with her bony old finger constantly on the delete button.  Again, she's not one to talk about being too busy to cook.  If she'd spend a fraction of the time at the stove that she does online...

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When you eat out, you have no idea what is in the food.

Again, I'd rather take my chances with what is in restaurant food than with what we know is in Lori's food.  In this case, it might well be true that "what you don't know can't hurt you"...right?

[Sarah92]

And I don't think it's going by the wayside. I'm 25 and love cooking (getting my spaghetti squash going already). Most girls I know like cooking. And has she seen Pinterest? People are blogging all the stuff they're making, they're practically chefs at home. 

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

She looks a lot older than him. 

I thought that too. Maybe, Kenny boy had enough sense to wear sun screen unlike Lori.

[usmcmom]

I'm sure Ken wore sunscreen early in their marriage and it was probably one of the things she nagged him about - like the spray cheese and cheap crackers. Now that she is a submissive wife, however, Ken no longer does any of the things that bother her so much. 

Isn't that amazing?!? 

ETA: This just popped up on my FB feed and made me think of Lori:

 

[PennySycamore]

@usmcmom, I love that Cravendale "cats with thumbs" ad and especially that cat filing his nails.  He looks like one tough customer!

[Carol]

Can you imagine what Lori's day must be like? 

Early morning furtive looks from behind her curtain, black coffee, 2 minutes in the shower, single egg and dry toast for breakfast.  Glued to a computer, counting her likes, erasing her detractors, desperate for validation, terrified of down votes, pleading for up votes.

 Salmonella salad, searching desperately for brand new idea every day rewritten to make it appear as those she came up with it, more corrections of her readers, Bible verse with ugly photo. 

Soup for dinner, bible, lube, bed.  

Rinse and repeat.

[PennySycamore]

@Sarah92,  I have a ton of faith in you young folks keeping our culinary traditions alive.  Years ago, you never heard of people making cheese at home.  Some of us did bake bread, but few of us were baking artisanal breads or using heritage grains.  I think interest in good cooking at home is at an all time high.

ETA:  Yankee magazine recently had an article about a young couple who are leading the charge to bring grain production back to New England.  Why?  They wanted good wheat and other grains for their mill and bakery.  They also researched about mill stones and had a mill stone made to grind their grains.  Nobody made millstones anymore.

[Hane]

@PennySycamore, I couldn’t agree more! People who wax nostalgic about home cooking in the idyllic ‘50s when all moms were Donna Reed or June Cleaver (*snort*) tend to forget how bland, pedestrian, and forgettable everyday family meals were back then: Campbell’s soup, cube steak, plain baked chicken, instant mashed potatoes, canned vegetables—delicacies like those. (Maybe that’s why we were thinner back then: most of the food sucked.)  We got the good home style Northern Italian stuff (cooked with lots of fresh vegetables, rice, beans, and fish) only when we went out of state to visit Grandma.

Things started getting more interesting in the ‘70s, with the growing popularity of organic and unprocessed whole foods as well as international cuisine.

Today’s young cooks are definitely taking it up a notch or three!

 

[Sarah92]

@PennySycamore Thank you! I come from a foodie family so it's hard to just leave that behind. I've made bread quite a bit and my soft pretzels are the bomb. Baking and cooking is a stress relief. I often trade recipes with friends to try new things.  And @Hane  I'm honestly surprised to hear that about the 50s. I hear people waxing poetry about it. I guess I have this image of a whole ham on the table every night with homemade mashed potatoes, the works. 

One a side note: I had a grouchy, conservative woman comment that I probably couldn't bake a box cake because my education made me lose common sense. I read what Lori writes and am reminded of that comment. But really I don't need a box mix since I bake from scratch more now. Take that grouchy woman. 

[lilith]

I think the Internet has a lot to do with why some of my generation (I’m 36) is more interested in cooking and experimenting in the kitchen.

My mother enjoyed cooking and was a good vegetarian cook (largely self taught - her father was a butcher), interested in whole foods and healthy eating. She ground wheat to make bread and made yoghurt. But learning new recipes and techniques from outside her circle of friends and family meant seeking out and either buying or borrowing Cook books. And much as I love my cookbooks, I usually only make a few recipes from each. The internet allows me to fully explore any cooking whim I like that same day. And I have a much larger range of ingredients readily available.

[usmcmom]

If this were any other blogger, I'd assume it was a typo but with Lori we cannot be sure. 

It reminds me of the scene in "Overboard," where Goldie Hawn says "Doctor, Grant's having another nervous breakdown. He thinks he's God. Keep him busy."  I guess Lori's blog is Ken's way of keeping her busy. 

[fluffy]

Today's post addresses how her views are nothing like those in Atwood's _The Handmaid's Tale_. Naturally, she hasn't read the book and read only a summary of the movie. I guess it's not a commentary of old.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

OMG! She said on fb sometime this week that cults are typically formed by women. Does anyone have that shot or can find it now?

[Joyce]

Hi Lori! I understand that you do not like sunscreen, but do me a favor and search for an image of the face of William McElligott.