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FundieFarmer

Weenese 3: Brother Gary Hawkins Wanting God All Over Him

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Coy Koi

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:furiously making plans as, like everyone else, it's always been my dream to attend a party dedicated to selling me MLM junk, located in a broken RV and hosted by some illiterate, bigoted lunatics, where there won't even be any dranking:

Who wants to carpool?

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Carol

Can't, I've gotta go grocery shopping.

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Candydandy

Ok folks, the paparazzi party sounds like a blast. CoyKoi I'd love to carpool but I've got weens to roast that night. Or boil not sure which just yet. 

Sis Candy

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Gobsmacked

Hello Sisters

A Paparazzi party in the uk would involve dranking bigly and weens galore. Members of the press (used to be/are known) for their partying habits. 

Blessings

Sis Gobsmacked 

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Eponine

Ok folks, I come to you with true repentance in my heart: I resisted looking at Bro Ween's threads, thinking I didn't need any new snark subjects or rabbit holes. But, yesterday I could no longer resist the Call of the Weens and binged both prior threads. I sat at my desk trying to not to laugh, but of course ended up snorting and giggling like some kind of gravy-addled lunatic. And I continued to read while dranking when I got home.

So - thanks, all you good weens, for hours of top-quality, premium snarking!

In the name of the Holy Weens,

Sis Eponine

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Carol

Gary is on overdrive, having posted several new photos of hisself and the missus out freezing in the snow he hates.

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MsSaylor

Where is Bro hosting the jewelry party? On the side of the road in the broken down bus? 

So Mr Saylor was making us chili dogs for lunch and I realized he was making 3 for himself. They are huge and he was using fat ballpark weens, and raw onion.  So I start chastising him about how he's going to be sorry if he eats all thay and him doing a satirical routine about how Im a silly woman for questioning his ability to down that much food. I go "those are big hot dogs too dude" and he goes " I know! That makes it even more manly!". He knows nothing of bro gary or why I actually laughed at his dumb joke. 

However I think he loses man points for preparing good chili man weens for himself.

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acheronbeach

This is like some kind of bizarre Monty Python sketch.  It's utterly bizarre.  

An overweight, middle-aged, almost comically hetero man whose fashion sense is "Mark's Work Warehouse"-chic sells garish costume jewelry to... whom???... on a broken down bus.  

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General Jinjur

Ok folks, this Thanksgiving Becky is thankful that Bro Ween did the dishes for once in his lazy life. He's such a blessing.

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JillyO

LOL, what a great way to passive aggressively shame Bro Gary for never doing anything in the house. I LOVE IT! :pb_lol:

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Nikedagain?

I just wanna know what kind of letter he got yesterday! 

And does poor old Sis Becks have ANY plexus customers? She just always seems to be sorta out of her element in this ragtag enterprise. 

 

 

Edited by Nikedagain?
addddd

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Carol

From the tone of Gary's posts over the last week or more, I suspect Gary and Beth have lost most, or all, of their children because of their living situation.  Whether they left voluntarily or were taken, I don't know.  The only one who appears to be there is his oldest son, this from a photo he posted a week ago.  Not saying his other son and daughter aren't...but the photos of their Thanksgiving turkey boiling show no one but themselves on a day that is full of family.  I wonder of they've gone to Gary's extended family.

All of Beth's children have gone back to their dad.  It must have been really hard for the only daughter left with Beth and Gary to see how well her siblings were doing and how wonderful a stable life can be.  Now that she's with her biological siblings I hope she doesn't go back.  I also hope Gary's son/s and daughter, if they are gone, stay gone.  Children need a stable environment, a roof over their heads, education, food and parents who make them their first priority.  They don't need a traveling, broken down bus and parents who spread the word of their angry god and live off the meager proceeds.

Gary and Beth don't deserve to be parents again until they understand this.  Gary's wishful thinking has gotten his family homeless.  He and Beth continue to steep in their own foolishness and ignorance.

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VaSportsMom

I keep forgetting this thread. I assume that Bro Gary did not raise the funds for the new RV? Did he shame his followers? 

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Beermeet

Ok folks, I think @Carol is right.  Also, as head of the family bro Gary is doing a crap job!  Who is he kidding?  He can't provide.  Rule #1 of headship: provide almighty man!    And, he's divorced!  He failed once, who is he to talk?  Lemme guess....not his fault.   This guy.

 

Screenshot_20171125-123545.png

Edited by Beermeet
More words.

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Coy Koi

That's weird, I could have sworn that yesterday there was a picture of Gary's daughter sitting outside in the turkey frying pictures, but now it's not there. Those are weird pictures though. Empty chairs, a few of a turkey fryer, and zero of his kids.

This is funny/sad though, because there's no way Gary wrote that comment. 100% Becky did from his account in a pathetic attempt to stir up interest. Crazy that it can be that obvious from one very unremarkable sentence, but it is. If she wanted it to be believable she should have wrote something like: "Ok folks this grate deal. By plexis real good helth."

And Becky, calm down. $25 off a $125 order of ridiculously overpriced snake oil is not that exciting.

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Gobsmacked

Reading Bro Gary's Facebook post ( thank you Beermeet), it does look possible that all the children have escaped the immobile mobile home/s of weenese doom. His sentence about children doing and being what they want to do and be may be a huge clue. The kids wanted to escape and have done so. Good for them if true. I certainly hope it is true. He also says that children are as wild as the world. Some major rebellion going on methinks.

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Coy Koi

I don't know though, it was just a week ago that he posted Caleb got saved, so Caleb is probably still with them, and unless I'm losing my mind (possible), I'm almost sure I did see that picture of Michaela. And he said "Ok folks I am Thankful for my Salvation my wife my Children. Wish we have a few more with us but in GOD timing." They must have at least one kid with them or that would just be an outright lie. He might still have all his kids with him, and he was just talking about Becky's kids. I hope not, though!

Crazy that they think they're ever going to get Becky's kids back though. Unless "in GOD timing" means "when hell freezes over", I don't think it's happening.

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Carol

Gary has posted quit a few photos lately of his late, great family...all the kids.  Too many to think everything was going well.  The photos of he and Beth sitting outside in chairs while their turkey boiled were pretty sad.  I saw the photos yesterday, too, but didn't see any with one of the kids.

I think he and Beth really do miss them.  It remains to be seen how badly, though.  It would mean a true enlightenment on their parts and since their whole lives are grifting, the bus and Jesus I don't see that happening any time soon.

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MarblesMom

Ok folks, apparently Bro Gary has pulled his inner grifting muscle....

groin.jpg

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Gobsmacked

Any excuse to stay in bed and not fail at grifting. Very Johnboy shrader of him.

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keepercjr

So Becky has 7 ambassadors under her.   Plexus does more than just weight lose!  How can she even almost maintain the $100 per month minimum?  I noticed that Gary hasn’t asked for $$ in a while.  Maybe because there were literally no results.. a $7,000 broke down impulse buy isn’t exactly a shining example of good judgement.

 

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Edited by keepercjr

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General Jinjur

Ok folks, I don't get this parable at all. Could someone who knows something about tractors and/or plowing explain it to me?

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Thanks, Sis Jin

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CTRLZero

@General Jinjur - I don't speak Weenese, but I see he mentions "Percey Ray."  I found a bunch of [Fundamental Baptist] Pastor Percy Ray's sermons, with intriguing titles such as:

*Baby Sitting for the Devil

*Recognize the Devil

*Red Light of HELL!

*What Do You Have in Your Well  [looking at you, John Shrader]

**and I think the following might be in Weenese**

*Thou Art Weight in the Balances

Even if it's not the same Preacher Ray, I feel holier just reading the sermon titles.

 

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General Jinjur
52 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

@General Jinjur - I don't speak Weenese, but I see he mentions "Percey Ray."  I found a bunch of [Fundamental Baptist] Pastor Percy Ray's sermons, with intriguing titles such as:

*Baby Sitting for the Devil

*Recognize the Devil

*Red Light of HELL!

*What Do You Have in Your Well  [looking at you, John Shrader]

**and I think the following might be in Weenese**

*Thou Art Weight in the Balances

Even if it's not the same Preacher Ray, I feel holier just reading the sermon titles.

 

Oh man, I listened to part of Red Light of Hell, and Percy's voice is terrifying! I may have a new favorite preacher.

I also spent way longer than I should have reading about plowing methods, and I still don't understand why being a corner man is godlier than driving the big tractor.

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MayMay1123

i can usually somewhat figure out wth bro is writing about...but this one's a doozy. i even tried to google and got nothin'. not sure i want to look up percey ray...

sis confused

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