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Weenese 3: Brother Gary Hawkins Wanting God All Over Him


FundieFarmer

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Ohhhhhhh, Sis @Coy Koi I think you're right!   I genuinely couldn't parse that one, and because Bro Gary is all about the grift, I assumed the debt was financial!

I am literally cackling out loud right now!  Thank you so much!   If you ever get the chance to have a bespoke user title, it has to be "Official translator of Weenese".   Of course, you'll have to put that INTO Weenese for us.....

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9 minutes ago, Lurky said:

Ohhhhhhh, Sis @Coy Koi I think you're right!   I genuinely couldn't parse that one, and because Bro Gary is all about the grift, I assumed the debt was financial!

I am literally cackling out loud right now!  Thank you so much!   If you ever get the chance to have a bespoke user title, it has to be "Official translator of Weenese".   Of course, you'll have to put that INTO Weenese for us.....

I was assuming he meant something about God's son paying his spiritual debt, but I just couldn't fully accept that ANY native English speaker, even Gar-bear, would put the words in that order to mean that. Let that be a lesson to us, Weenese-learners: even when a word is spelled correctly and seems to fit into context somewhat, don't assume he doesn't mean a completely different word.

I'm not sure if I can translate things INTO Weenese, that's a different skill. I tried something similar once, many years ago. A guy I knew stole my car and when I got it back from the police, it was full of his stuff. From that, I got his MySpace login, and posted a mocking message that was supposed to be from him. He wasn't illiterate, he just typed like an idiot by choice. I couldn't believe how challenging it was to consistently write that stupid. Worth it though, I amused myself if not him (I changed the password too so he couldn't take it down).

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9 minutes ago, Coy Koi said:

Let that be a lesson to us, Weenese-learners: even when a word is spelled correctly and seems to fit into context somewhat, don't assume he doesn't mean a completely different word.

Laughing out loud at this, and imagining you writing the first ever Weenese textbook!

 

Oh, and your MySpace revenge?  Genius!

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7 minutes ago, Lurky said:

Oh, and your MySpace revenge?  Genius!

And that was just one facet of master revenge plan! He had his whole family calling me up (leaving voicemails, not like I was answering) begging me to stop being a big ol' meanie-pants to him (he was mid-30s at the time). No wonder he turned out like that. If my kid stole someone's car and they got revenge (nothing illegal or dangerous, of course) I'd tell her it served her right.

Then a couple years later, he friend requested me on Facebook out of the blue. :my_huh: I didn't accept...

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@Coy Koi We must have posted at the same time! I'm sort of relieved we came to more or less the same conclusion. Now I know I'm not completely crazy to be getting any meaning out fo that in the first place. :pb_lol:

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Oh, I SO needed a good laugh today and Bro. Gary supplied.

from his fb page:

"Ok folks I want to Thank GOD for dieing and paying my son debt. He has pay all my is and put them under HIS
Thank GOD there in the past. I have a Future in Heaven."

Maybe Sister Coi can translate that.

Sincerely,

Sister Fundy Shocked

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35 minutes ago, FundamentallyShocked said:

Maybe Sister Coi can translate that.

Sincerely,

Sister Fundy Shocked

Wish granted! (From the last page)

 

And

Sis. WWJCD

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6 hours ago, Shoobydoo said:

OK folks I am going to attempt a translation here. *clears throat*

If his debts somehow have gotten paid, I guess god did it, not anyone who gave them a large amount of money.... Alternatively, he's passive-aggressively going "GOD PAID FOR OUR SINS WITH HIS SON WHY WON'T YOU PAY FOR MY RV REPAIRS???"

Sis Shooby, 8 lbs 6 oz

8 lbs, 15 oz. Trust me, I know.

Sis Zeebaneighba, aka Shoobydoo's Mom.

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3 minutes ago, zeebaneighba said:

8 lbs, 15 oz. Trust me, I know.

Sis Zeebaneighba, aka Shoobydoo's Mom.

OK folks I stand corrected 

Sis Shooby 8lb 6oz 15oz , born ornery:dramallama-nanner:

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2 hours ago, TheWayTheWorldWorks said:

Ok folks, 

 Am I the only one who misread the new title as Bro G wanting gravy all over him?  :brainbleach:

Sis WorldWorks

And now I have Def Leppard on the brain. Thanks Sis WorldWorks!

Pour some gravy on me...

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9 hours ago, Beermeet said:

Omg.  I had a Myspace.  Is that still a thing?  

I don't know, this was like 12 years ago! I was in my early 20s and this thieving mofo was about 35. He had my car for over a week and I never once had my mommy call him and beg him to return it. I did, however, email his mom once and politely and respectfully tell her that her son had my car and to please encourage him to return it. She didn't reply.

Then, as soon as her stupidass loser son got arrested for stealing my car, she was all calling me frantically, as were his dad and sister. I was being threatened and begged left and right ("he needs you to return his cell phone, HE HAS A SON", "bitch, I know where you live," and so on). I ignored it all (especially easy to do since I happened to move right after that, so they had no idea where I lived). I still have that phone somewhere, and I sold everything left he left in my car that was worth selling (some brand new shoes, video games, etc.).

Anyway, never mind my pointless story. I had just spent over a week feeling powerless, utterly stuck, and furious, and when the tables turned I felt so empowered. I had gone years without thinking of this story so now I'm all fired-up again. :pb_biggrin: Do not fuck with me!

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For some reason, I started singing 'Good Weens' instead of 'Good Lovin' in the shower this morning.   :doh:

I was feelin' so bad,
I asked my family doctor just what I had,
I said, "Doctor,
(Doctor )
Mr. M.D.,
(Doctor )
Now can you tell me, tell me, tell me,
What's ailin' me?"
(Doctor )

He said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Yes, indeed, all you really need
(Is good ween)
Gimme that good, good weens
(Good weens)
All I need is ween gravy
(Good weens)
Good weens, Becky

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9 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

And now I have Def Leppard on the brain. Thanks Sis WorldWorks!

Pour some gravy on me...

Ok folks, 

Maybe this will dislodge the earworm I’ve been having all morning:

”Remember me, my darlin’, when spring is in the air 

And the bald-headed birds are whisperin’ everywhere

When you see them walking southward in their dirty underwear 

That’s the Tennessee Bird Walk.”

 

Sis smittykins 

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10 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

And now I have Def Leppard on the brain. Thanks Sis WorldWorks!

Pour some gravy on me...

Oh no!!!  Pour some gravy on weeeens.  In the name of love is stuck in my head now.  Meeting in 5 mins so I can't expand on that just now.  I'm sure just the one line will drive me crazy for awhile:smiley-signs131:

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Ok folks,

I have, uh.  I need to confess, ahem, uh.  I don't really know, um.  I realized when making dinner that I'm a weener!  I, uh, I, made my headship a ween and burger french bread pizza.  He grew up eating that on chef boy r Dee make a pizzas, and he requests it from me every now and then.  I, I just didn't realize I was a weener wife.  :wtsf:

Yours in humble truthfulness,

Hope I can still be, Sis World Works (who snarks on weens despite the fact she is a hypocrite).

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4 minutes ago, TheWayTheWorldWorks said:

Ok folks,

I have, uh.  I need to confess, ahem, uh.  I don't really know, um.  I realized when making dinner that I'm a weener!  I, uh, I, made my headship a week and burger french bread pizza.  He grew up eating that on chef boy r Dee make a pizzas, and he requests it from me every now and then.  I, I just didn't realize I was a weener wife.  :wtsf:

Yours in humble truthfulness,

Hope I can still be, Sis World Works (who snarks on weens despite the fact she is a hypocrite).

Sis @TheWayTheWorldWorks, I rarely make food either. Even less now that my daughter has learned to make our signature dish, and I will always count that as a chore (of which she is required daily). No matter what chore I assign her for the day, if she says, "I could just make pasta salad instead?" there is a 100% likelihood I will say OMG YES, PLEASE DO THAT. This happens like once or twice a week because she hates doing most chores, but doesn't mind making pasta salad.

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I'm looking forward to his Thanksgiving post, if there is one.  And wondering what kind of man food his dinner may include...turkey with ween gravy?

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Ok folks. I just wanted to say about once a week or so when I may be feeling down or a little stressed this phrase pops into my head and I repeat it a couple times in my head "the red weens in ME make it more pink". And I smile and chuckle to myself, think of all you good folks. Its one of those things that makes me appreciate the wonderful weirdness and absurdity of life and it makes me happy. 

Sis Saylor

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@MsSaylor I totally agree!  This thread brings me joy.  A nice light-fun-quirky slice o' life!  I always hear @SilverBeach's comment "ok, this is funny.  And, y'all going to hell!"  Only paraphrasing on the first sentance.  Cracks me up after every thought!   :D

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@Carol still can't figure this out...

I kept thinking debt consolidation?  Bankruptcy discharged? 

Could you imagine trying to have a real conversation with Bro Gary? 

Had anyone tried google translate? 

Screenshot_2017-11-14-22-06-16-1.png

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1 hour ago, Dubiousclaire said:

Had anyone tried google translate? 

Here you go:

Spoiler

and

 

 

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