Weenese 3: Brother Gary Hawkins Wanting God All Over Him

[Texas Heifer]

I have a gallon jug of water sweetened with the finest of knock-off Walmart brand water flavoring. I have read the introductory post by Happy Atheist, and already I can tell Hellena would be horrified.

WHAT DID THIS WOMAN NAME HER CHILDREN. OH MY STARS AND GARTERS.

[Ozlsn]

10 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

I have a gallon jug of water sweetened with the finest of knock-off Walmart brand water flavoring. I have read the introductory post by Happy Atheist, and already I can tell Hellena would be horrified.

WHAT DID THIS WOMAN NAME HER CHILDREN. OH MY STARS AND GARTERS.

I know, right?! I read the intro and from that had to dive right in because I was already giggling. I will say she does seem like quite a nice person, but she should probably blog before inhaling.

[DaisyD]

23 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I have a good idea for the title of the next thread; am not a helpmeet so can’t set it up myself.

It's about that time. Whatcha got?

[MarblesMom]

Hey folks, Bro G-Haw is public again, I think?  I am not friends with him and his latest post showed up in my newsfeed.  Can anyone else see him, or am I hallucinating?

[mango_fandango]

@DaisyD it’s just Bro G-Haw 4: HAY-MAYUN! You could change around the first bit, I just came up with it like that because it rhymes a bit, but keep the HAY-MAYUN! 

[Georgiana]

 

Gary Hawkins IS America. Get behide him, people!

[catlady]

ok, Folks, it sounds like Bro Gary said that God put CheetoFace in office (at least he didn't say "in ME.")  um.. even as an atheist, i have a problem with that; the God i used to believe in wasn't evil and wouldn't do that.

and i don't want to be behide Cheeto or anywhere near him.

[Texas Heifer]

Ok Folks,

So...basically, GOD is trolling us?

Makes as much sense as anything else about this dumpster fire presidency of epic proportions.

But Bro Gary is back!! *celebrates*

Sis Heifer

[Georgiana]

Im not surprised Gary likes Trump. Gary likes weens, and our current president is a giant, tiny handed ween with tweets for gravy. 

[General Jinjur]

HAY-MAYUN! The weens are back! And boy are they good ones. My life has meaning again.

[PumaLover]

Yay! This made my day. Blackberry vodka for all!

And no i will not get behide Cheeto man. I'm counting the days til he's out of office. Does anyone know if Oprah really is planning to run? At this point I don't really care WHO runs. 2020-anyone but Cheeto!!!!

[General Jinjur]

36 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

Yay! This made my day. Blackberry vodka for all!

And no i will not get behide Cheeto man. I'm counting the days til he's out of office. Does anyone know if Oprah really is planning to run? At this point I don't really care WHO runs. 2020-anyone but Cheeto!!!!

Oprah said she's not going to run. Frankly, I'm glad. She probably would've appointed Dr Oz as Surgeon General.

[PumaLover]

Oprah said she's not going to run. Frankly, I'm glad. She probably would've appointed Dr Oz as Surgeon General.

Ooh, good point. Shudder!

[Texas Heifer]

I'm nominating "HAY-MAYAN! Get Thee Behide Me, Robto" or similar for next post count title. 

[PumaLover]

I came across this whole searching for grocery images at work earlier and our favorite Ween man popped into my head. Doesn't this seem like something he would like?

Cheez Whiz and red weens-real man food, amirite!?

[DancingPhalanges]

Cheez Whiz cookbook?? What. Ugh. Sorry for anycheez whiz lovers but pretty certain I'm not cooking with it. Is that the stuff you could spray from a can right on crackers? Maybe the peeps who drink yogurt drinks with vodka can do cheez whiz and crackers???? 

I think my grandmother took that as an appetizer to church. 

I will try Blackberry Vodka. One glass because I'm a lightweight. 

Sis Dancing--thanks for the laughs Sis', y'all are hysterical. 

[catlady]

Sis Dancing, Easy Cheez is the one in the mousse can; Cheez Whiz comes in a jar, but it's very nearly the same thing.  and i'd bet that some of those recipes involve weens.

[Black Aliss]

On 1/29/2018 at 7:19 PM, Texas Heifer said:

I know you're in the PNW, so you. Are. Welcome. An entire jar of the coffee is three dollars. I'm totally serious.

Edit! I just read you don't like coffee, so really, I no longer know how to help you, Sis. 

But I am also PNW and you just helped me. TYVM

On 1/30/2018 at 5:22 AM, Coy Koi said:

No one does, Sis...no one does. Still happy for the reminder that Fred Meyer exists though because I always forget about it! I should go there again. (For you guys who don't know, it's like Target except slightly better in some ways and slightly worse in others.)

Better groceries and by far the cheapest gas in the neighborhood, especially when the Freddie's is across the street from a Costco with gas pumps.

[Texas Heifer]

1 hour ago, Black Aliss said:

But I am also PNW and you just helped me. TYVM

Excellent! If you're a coffee snob, you might disagree with me, but I think it's fantastic for being so easy (sluttish?). I use a Hotshot hot water dispenser, which is $12 on Amazon and lasts forever. Bro Heifer uses it for tea. Takes maybe a minute to heat up.

We are all about laziness. 

[Dandruff]

I tried Cheez Whiz once.  Never again.  One of the easiest decisions I've ever made.

[Kailash]

Sometimes I give reputation just because of their reason for edits. @Texas Heifer repeateded ha!! Also, probably because I’m trying to eat better, cheez whiz sounds delish. And I’ve always liked cheese in a can on Ritz crackers. And gas station nacho cheese. 

Spoiler

Spoiler

No spoiler, trying to do the embarrassed emoji. The struggle is real today.

 

 

[DaisyD]

Continue here: 

 

[Black Aliss]

19 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Oprah said she's not going to run. Frankly, I'm glad. She probably would've appointed Dr Oz as Surgeon General.

Dr. Mercola to head the FDA. Dr. Phil to head the newly created Department of Self-Help.

10 hours ago, Texas Heifer said:

Excellent! If you're a coffee snob, you might disagree with me, but I think it's fantastic for being so easy (sluttish?). I use a Hotshot hot water dispenser, which is $12 on Amazon and lasts forever. Bro Heifer uses it for tea. Takes maybe a minute to heat up.

We are all about laziness. 

Well there's coffee snobbery at home (PCC's custom blend from Tony's is the current favorite) and there's backpacking, where there is NFW I'm carrying coffee-making kit on my back.