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Weenese 3: Brother Gary Hawkins Wanting God All Over Him


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Palpatine: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Ween? I thought not. It’s not a story the robtos would tell you. It’s a Ween legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Ween, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to get the pink weans in ME to be real man food eating… He had such a knowledge of the ween side, he could even keep emoji satan from lac of fath. 

Anakin: He could actually save people from darth?

Palpatine: The ween side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unpossible. 

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Bro Heifer and I have had many discussions about weens the past coupe days. He has been SEVERELY insistent that I submit this exchange, after I came across the submission on Sis Becky's Dill Pickle Soup recipe.

Being a submissive helpmeet, I now submit:

GreenWeens.png

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Ok folks

He's just shouted for 5 minutes about being thankful that he's not going to burn in hell. Lots of hallelujahamenthankyoujesus with a fine look at his foot and don't be disappointed, but he is not wearing the crocheted blanket. 

I don't know the current situation, are they at his parent's house? Someone was in the background but I couldn't see clearly. 

Sis. Dancing- has heard enough about burning in hell for a lifetime so I fast-forwarded. 

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20 minutes ago, DancingPhalanges said:

He's just shouted for 5 minutes about being thankful that he's not going to burn in hell. Lots of hallelujahamenthankyoujesus with a fine look at his foot and don't be disappointed, but he is not wearing the crocheted blanket. 

I don't know the current situation, are they at his parent's house? Someone was in the background but I couldn't see clearly. 

It would be better if he was wearing the crocheted blanket this time though, to cover that huge hole in his shirt!

For some reason I have the impression that they're staying at a church right now, but I'm not sure why I think that. That tasteful backdrop has definitely made an appearance in a lot of his videos, though.

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imma thinking that sis becky needs to stop feeding this man so much and teach him how to sew instead...hal-lay-lew-yer!

sis may- who really didn't want to see bro weenie's foot and will now have nightmares

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The foot! :pb_lol: I'm dying.

One of Bro Ween's buddies has this as his cover photo:

Spoiler

Screenshot_2018-01-09-16-02-00-1.png.a9cc836e0b283b6021f228079815aa4e.png

Nuthin' like readin' the story of Jesus' birth to your handgun.

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I deeply enjoyed the shot of his holyheavenly hoof at the beginning. That was a nice touch.

FFS, Bro Gary. If you must wear a shirt with a giant hole in it, make sure it isn't in the shot. Seeing your pasty white belly fat made me want to hork, and I speak as someone who covers her own pasty white belly fat, so I am not a hypocrite.

HALLELUYER!

I have just added HALLELUYER to my tablet's dictionary, as I foresee using it again, HAY-MAYAN!

Watching him pontificate on being saved and hell/heaven and blah blah made my eyeballs roll directly into the sun. I have listened to my share of that dreck, having grown up in Texas, and it isn't any more bearable now.

HAY-MAYAN!

:2wankers:

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54 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

The foot! :pb_lol: I'm dying.

One of Bro Ween's buddies has this as his cover photo:

  Reveal hidden contents

Screenshot_2018-01-09-16-02-00-1.png.a9cc836e0b283b6021f228079815aa4e.png

Nuthin' like readin' the story of Jesus' birth to your handgun.

MURICA in one photo. 

(Obviously I mean the redneck stereotype). 

Actually the way the gun is placed makes it look like the guy wants to take a few bullets to God’s word.

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50 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

FFS, Bro Gary. If you must wear a shirt with a giant hole in it, make sure it isn't in the shot. Seeing your pasty white belly fat made me want to hork, and I speak as someone who covers her own pasty white belly fat, so I am not a hypocrite.

 

Maybe he wanted to emphasize the difference between the tawdry, emphemeral, and corporeal here on earth, and the glory that will be the new robe he receives in his heavenly home? 

Just kidding. I think he’s probably totally oblivious. Also, wtf is up with the focus on his phone? It’s in, it’s out—it was a toss up for what made me more nauseated, that or him. He licks, he picks, he squicks. It’s almost worse than watching the Nogs. 

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For those of you who wont or can’t see the video I present the foot and the shirt:

Spoiler

C46DE0F6-15C1-434E-96B1-3F1E5F79FEB6.thumb.png.86893581f304e784cb5d82aa1270247f.png21D56000-CA15-4463-8C0F-6B1AA0896112.thumb.jpeg.7ad804ab73ec2f6df6bd79760abb24e2.jpeg

The girl in the background was his daughter.  I want to say she is 17 or 18.  Seriously where is their mother!?  How is g haw the custodial parent?!  I spent a sad amount of time a few weeks ago trying to figure it out but I got nowhere,

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1 minute ago, MayMay1123 said:

Now I wanna know what's in that bottle on the table 

Could be anything from Worcestershire/steak sauce to an obscure kind of cola.

JESUS knows it ain't al-keholl, because Bro Gary don't drank!

Or or! Furniture polish? Only the Holiest, a'course.

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"This here is my Bible, which tells the story of a poor, disenfranchised middle eastern refugee couple who were forced to give birth in a stable because they had nowhere else to go and no one would let them in.  The baby was God's own son, but no one could show any compassion even for a displaced woman in labor.  Sad.  Then the government got even MADDER at them because some kings accidentally tipped off the governor as to their status, so they had to take their newborn child and flee for safety or their family would be broken up.  So terrible.

Oh, but if any poor mid-east refugee couples try to give birth on MY property, I'm going to show them this here GUN and tell them there's NO ROOM IN THIS COUNTRY for their kind!"

An American Christian Christmas, 2017

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@keepercjr, thanks for the pics... I don't like to venture to the vids.

@Georgiana, your Ween Wars read like a romance novella had me both gagging and rolling from the innuendo. 

I'll show myself to the prayer closet

Sis World Works

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Ok Folks, new video up. Bro Gary changed his shirt, and is worried about his children's "inheritage." 

Ahem.

He also has strong feelings about y'all highfalutin' mofos who think you're too good for The GoodWill. Don't you buy any of them there shoes, wear 'em and then bring 'em back dirty. 

And just fuck you all over the place if you think Santa Claus is acceptable. 

HAY-MAYAN! HAY-MAYAN! HAY-MAYAN!

Bro Gary ain't afraid to say HAY-MAYAN! HALLELUYER!

Screenshot_2018-01-09-20-27-41.png

Oh! And from the sound of it, the only kids with Bro and Sis Hawkins now are Gary's. Becky's appear to have had enough weens, and all of them wayward children have gone to live with sane people, presumably Becky's ex. Bro Ween mentions only a daughter and two sons. Poor mites.

HALLELUYER!

Sis Heifer

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46 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

Ok Folks, new video up. Bro Gary changed his shirt

Praise the Lord for small mercies.

Also between the robtos and the serves does it sound like he's aiming to recruit Tom Servo to anyone else? He should be careful with that, if anyone can take over a cult it'd be him... 

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Today's Good Weens:

"Whether you're playing the fiddle,  or whether you're playing the whatever you wanna call it hallelujah glory to God. "

"We gotta get down to the eating table fore the methodists do hallelujah"

"And the inheritage is Jesus Christ"

"My wife didn't even know this, but she may have"

i like how wal mart is his example of a big box high dollar store. 

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Oh, @Georgiana, you are so good. I didn't catch half of that. I did, however, go back and re-listen to this:

3 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

"Whether you're playing the fiddle,  or whether you're playing the whatever you wanna call it hallelujah glory to God. "

Three times. :pb_lol:

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3 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

"We gotta get down to the eating table fore the methodists do hallelujah"

Since when are Methodists buffet hoarders?  Have I missed something?

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The Methodist comment was especially funny to me, because I was baptized Methodist. My best friend growing up was Baptist. Her preacher's name was Bro Rick.

He was much less crazy than G-Haw.

 

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"I'm glad I said what I said about Santa Claus so I didn't have to go to a DEAD church where God ain't welcome and the Holy Spirit God ain't welcome, but Santa Claus is and it's ok. A grown man still believing in Santa Claus. 

*chuckles*

I just want y'all to know I've NEVER believed in Santa Claus."

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40 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

Oh, @Georgiana, you are so good. I didn't catch half of that. I did, however, go back and re-listen to this:

Three times. :pb_lol:

Thanks! I've "got enough God on me" that I just want to transcribe Bro Gary quotes for y'all hallelujah glory to god praise Santa Claus 

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