Another MOTY Candidate

[GreyhoundFan]

This was in the Washington Post. Good grief. What a winner (please note sarcasm). My mom left me alone in the evenings when I was fairly young because she had to work, but it wasn't to go on vacation, she certainly didn't leave a gun and ammo, and I didn't have to take care of any siblings: "‘I wish I could say I’m surprised’: Ex blasts mom charged with abandoning kids to tour Europe"

Spoiler

Police say Erin Lee Macke left a gun on her bedroom shelf and her four young children to fend for themselves, and jetted off last week for an 11-day vacation in Europe — cut somewhat short by the Iowa mother’s arrest Thursday on child endangerment charges.

Macke left her 12-year-old twins and 6 and 7-year-old daughters at home near Des Moines, on Sept. 20 to visit relatives in Germany, Johnston Police Lt. Lynn Aswegan old People.

By all indications, he said, “it was a social venture.”

Indeed, the 30-year-old mother got to see the Danube River and the Walhalla Memorial before police cajoled her back to the United States, according to vacation photos shown by Inside Edition.

“I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I’m not,” her ex-husband, Matthew Macke, told the syndicated newsmagazine show.

Macke had planned to return on Oct. 1, police said in a statement, but someone asked them to check on the children about 24 hours after she left.

They had been alone the whole time, Aswegan told People.

At some point, the police lieutenant said, Macke had talked to some relatives about watching the kids, but they had conflicts.

“She gave them the indication she had it taken care of,” he said. “She felt comfortable that the kids were responsible enough to take care of themselves during that duration.”

When officers arrived at the home that evening, Aswegan told People, they found the twins preparing to feed their little sisters.

And one of the 12-year-olds led them to the absent mother’s bedroom, he said, where she had left a gun and ammunition on an open shelf.

Authorities notified child protective services and got in touch with Macke in Germany.

“She didn’t understand or agree with the concern,” Aswegan told People.

But police told the mother to fly back home. She did — a full week later, and was promptly arrested on Thursday. In addition to the child endangerment charges, Macke was charged with giving a minor access to a gun.

In green prison stripes, she appeared in a Polk County courthouse Friday, as a judge told her to find an attorney and prepared her to go free on a $9,000 bond before trial.

Macke could not, the judge stressed, see her children in the interim.

“You are to have no contact with them — direct, indirect, writing, phone, voice messaging, text messaging,” the judge said, in video taken by KCCI. “No contact whatsoever. That includes going to the address.”

“I don’t go there, or they don’t go there?” Macke asked.

Surreally, this led to a confused exchange between the defendant, judge and a county lawyer, as the court tried to determine whether the children were still at Macke’s house.

The lawyer said she had no confirmation that child services had placed the children elsewhere, while Macke sounded certain they were all safe with relatives.

So those poor kids, with a mother who seems to be an idiot and a father who didn't rush to help them when he found out what was going on. I hope the kids can stay together.

[elsiedindin]

My mom would occasionally leave us at home by ourselves... for like an hour, while she ran to the grocery store or whatever. Not for ELEVEN DAYS. Wtf is wrong with people.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I'm not only side eyeing the mother but also the ex. I'm guessing he's the father of the younger two children. Where was he in all this? 

It makes me feel sorry for those children because I'm sure this is a fairly common occurance in their home. She probably just stays out for shorter periods. Otherwise she would have never felt like it was ok to leave them for 11days. 

[smittykins]

I remember a similar case in the Chicago area, I believe in the late 80s.  I think the oldest child was nine, and the parents went to Acapulco.  After they were apprehended, they admitted that they’d never wanted kids to begin with, and agreed to place them for adoption.

[unsafetydancer]

If they never wanted kids in the first place then why did it take them 9 years to figure out that their kids might be better off with people who do want kids?

[Glasgowghirl]

6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I'm not only side eyeing the mother but also the ex. I'm guessing he's the father of the younger two children. Where was he in all this?

He came and got them after police were alerted him. They were only alone for a night, she didn't return for 11 days. The way it was reported in some reports made it sound like they were alone for 11 days. 

The mother deserves all she gets, anything could have happened to those children while she was gone. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, unsafetydancer said:

If they never wanted kids in the first place then why did it take them 9 years to figure out that their kids might be better off with people who do want kids?

I think this happens much more often than we like to recognize. Not really the total abandonment but more the "never wanting kids" feelings of some parents. I think there are a few societal reasons so many people had children they did not want. I think our culture pushes people to believe that everyone wants children and there's something wrong with you if you don't (especially women). I also think the extreme stigma abortion as endured these past 44 years of it being legal is another reason why people have children they don't want. I think there is also often family pressure not to place a child up for adoption. I've seen it a lot now lower income families. A woman may be talked out of placing a child up for adoption at birth because her own parents or other family guilt her into keeping the baby. They might make empty promises for helping her out. She then tries out parent and fails. Ending with the children in CPS. 

I think the boomer generation will be the biggest childbirth boom we will see for some time. Those getting back from the war had the most pressure to start a family (even if they didn't want to). I'm happy to see attitudes slowly shifting and people starting to accept that not everyone wants kids, and that's ok. 

I tell married childless couples all the time, "If you don't want kids, then don't have them! And don't listen to anyone else's opinion because they aren't raising them."

[unsafetydancer]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think our culture pushes people to believe that everyone wants children and there's something wrong with you if you don't (especially women).

There is that yes. It's sad to think of kids being raised by people who never really wanted them and just tolerate them being around. I'm only in my 20s but I get a LOT of "when are you getting married/don't you want kids" comments. I think having kids to satisfy some of the weird social biases we still seem to have is having kids for the wrong reason. At least it would be good if these people admitted their feelings and had their kids adopted while they are still small; older kids can be harder to place and can have more feelings of abandonment if they can remember their birth parents.

Really the worst solution is to go on holiday and leave the kids to fend for themselves. I'm not the biggest fan of kids sometimes but I would still feel guilty about just abandoning them with a weapon and no adult supervision.

[47of74]

15 hours ago, elsiedindin said:

My mom would occasionally leave us at home by ourselves... for like an hour, while she ran to the grocery store or whatever. Not for ELEVEN DAYS. Wtf is wrong with people.

If you ever figure out the answer to that question please let me know.

If I ever had kids I don't think I could leave them and go to Germany like that.  God knows I would love to visit the ancestral homeland but not at the risk of my kids safety. 

One time my aunt and uncle went to DC and left their kids at home under the care of the eldest daughter.  Big difference here was the eldest daughter was already 18 at the time, and had help from their neighbors and family.  They also didn't leave weapons sitting around where the kids could get at them.

After I reached third or forth grade I was able to stay in the house by myself while my mom worked, but dad was almost always a couple hundred feet away in the barn.  The one time they went on a trip without us to DC when I was young they arranged for us to stay with my grandparents.

 

[SnazzyNazzy]

To explain what kind of child/teenager I was (or what kind my mom thought I was)...

My mom and stepdad didn't take a trip and leave me alone in the house, until I was 22 or 23. Even then my mom called all the time, to see if I caught the house on fire or some such.

 

[smittykins]

I believe this is the case I remember.  According to a neighbor, that wasn’t the first time the girls had been left home before.

ETA:  A Where are they now? article confirming that the girls were adopted.

[Cleopatra7]

Last week, I heard of a similar case that occurred in the 1980s in Japan, where a MOTY not only abandoned her children for months at a time, but left the skeletal body of her toddler son (who died under mysterious circumstances)in the closet:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugamo_child_abandonment_case

Another young child in the family died when some friends of the oldest child killed her during violent horseplay. Her body was hidden in the woods and has never been found, although the friends were sent to reform school. What’s really crazy about this case is that the mother regained custody of the younger children after she served her prison sentence, as Japanese culture and law is not big on child adoption. I just don’t understand why someone would have a bunch of children, fail to do even the most basic aspects of parenting, and then decide they want another go of it.

[JMO]

On 10/1/2017 at 1:41 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I tell married childless couples all the time, "If you don't want kids, then don't have them! And don't listen to anyone else's opinion because they aren't raising them."

I always remember the line from Eat, Pray, Love.  She is not sure whether to have children and her sister tells her that having a child is like getting a facial tattoo.  You have to REALLY want it.  It's so true.