The Hawkins Family

[Pianokeeper]

Ok folks,

The pride and arrogance necessary to say with a straight face that GOD will provide you with a motorhome (!) is nothing short of astonishing for most people. For this guy... par for his terrifying, self-absorbed course. 

Sis Pianokeeper

[Curious]

@Palimpsest  I knew you'd come though!  (in the last verse, I believe Bro G calls it drank...I know that would ruin the rhythm of the verse..just mentioning in case you haven't actually read the whole thread)

 

[Georgiana]

2 minutes ago, Curious said:

Didn't ex-gay Greg and Dede trying the grift an RV for the lord?  I don't think they were successful either were they?

This puts the Rods in a bit of a new light.  I always thought they would be seen as rather desperate and pathetic by the fundie crowd, but if they are being compared against the Weens and the XGays...well, they're QUITE successful!  They have a NICE RV (though not big enough for all the people they cram into it) and they grifted AN ENTIRE HOUSE.  

[Palimpsest]

2 minutes ago, Curious said:

@Palimpsest  I knew you'd come though!  (in the last verse, I believe Bro G calls it drank...I know that would ruin the rhythm of the verse..just mentioning in case you haven't actually read the whole thread)

 

Darn it!  I've been skimming too fast and missed that.  I'll see if I can edit.

[Curious]

1 minute ago, Palimpsest said:

Darn it!  I've been skimming too fast and missed that.  I'll see if I can edit.

I'm sure if you search drank it will probably come right up.  It was a hilarious post.   I would do it for you but I'm right in the middle of something and trying not to get *totally* distracted

 

[Georgiana]

6 minutes ago, Pianokeeper said:

The pride and arrogance necessary to say with a straight face that GOD will provide you with a motorhome (!) is nothing short of astonishing for most people. For this guy... par for his terrifying, self-absorbed course. 

Man, you should have seen how picky Jill Rodrigues got with the HOUSE she wanted God to provide for her!  God actually attempted to provide her with a house from a widow named Pearl, but JRod asked God to keep searching because the yard of the house wasn't up to her standards.  

[Georgiana]

DRANK you say?  T-Pain made a good song about that, but it's time for the GOOD WEEN REEEEEEMIX

 

Baby girl, what's your name?
Let me talk to you, warn you about the drank
I'm Bro G, you know me
Motorhome on the road, ooh wee
I know the church close at 3
What's the chance of you rolling wit me?
Back to the hive, introduce you to my tribe
Make me gravy, spoon-feed while I drive

I'ma warn you of drank
Then I'ma beg for your money
There's no money in the bank, shawty, what you think bout that?
House parked next to the grey Cadillac
We in the tent like (ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh) (x2)

Talk to me, I talk back
Let's talk weenies, I talk that
Made up words, ween gravy
Turkey seizures, only K-J-Vee
Let's go beg, on our route
Just like that, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout
With good flour, and good weens
Full of salvation and the ween gravy

I'ma warn you of drank
Then I'ma beg for your money
There's no money in the bank, shawty, what you think bout that?
House parked next to the grey Cadillac
We in the tent like (ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh) (x2)

[Red Jumper]

@'Jrod's house grifting:

and it was not close enough to her church........ because it's cheaper to pay for the gas an RV needs all the time than for a van when driving once a week to church 

[Palimpsest]

Ok folks.  Grifting for an RV is really incredibly common.  I can list 5 or 6 wannabe IFB "missionaries" off the top of my head who have grifted for them for Deputation.  They don't always succeed.

Then there were the missionaries on furlough who were grifting for a second-hand limousine to drive around their donor churches.  A family van wasn't enough luxury for them.

I know I'm late to this thread, but there isn't any evidence of CPS involvement, or necessarily evidence of any domestic abuse on the face of it here.  

Anyway, being a bigot, an arsehole, an itinerant evangelist, and illiterate isn't enough to lose custody, and neither is marrying one.  Nor is believing in corporal punishment, short of abuse,  grounds to lose custody (more's the pity, IMO.)

Nor are all Family Court Judges incompetent, incredibly biased, and horrible people, although I am sure a few are just that.  Many are really good at their jobs, while vile accusations fly in all directions during custody battles.  

It looks like a very nasty custody battle.  It is possible that the supervised visits were ordered because the mother disobeyed judges orders in some way (like talking about sodomites), or tried to abscond with the kids when she had visitation. 

It is also very possible that the judge took the children's wishes into account when deciding custody.  The older girl (Adrienne?) may be living with the Hawkinses because she wants to, and she may no longer be a minor.

[mango_fandango]

Hey folks,

We're due a new thread soon. I propose "Bro Gary Hawkins 2: Grifting and Good (Pink) Weens" or something as the next title. 

Sis mango_fandango

[Palimpsest]

31 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Turkey seizures,

Ok folks.  I've checked the original and serious question:  How on God's green earth did Gary manage to spell turkey, let alone seizures, correctly?

I would have expected "terky ceeshurs."

[AuntKrazy]

Ok folks,

I have confess that I am tempted to post on Bro Gary's FB to indicate that I have been led by the Lord to help him register to win an RV rather than give financially - and just post RV sweepstakes entries ad infinitum on his FB  . .

Saved and full of sauce (or is that sass?)

Sis AuntKrazy

[Leftitinmysnood]

On Tuesday, September 12, 2017 at 3:51 AM, Lurky said:

OK folks, I'm just going to leave this here

He wants God to increase the number of kidneys someone has?  OK, OK, I assume it's something to do with dialysis, but only because it's the only thing it could be?  

Degreed medical professional dropping by to say that "kidney numbers going up" means increasing failure. Perhaps Bro Gary covets  Bro Mike's RV.

I must have had a presentiment because I actually made banana pudding yesterday before the thread post. No boxed pudding here, though. That custard must be made from scratch in a double boiler or my great grandmama will haint me.

Sis Snood

[FeministShrew]

Ok folks, in those photos of the Swinger RV missy1228 posted: is the shower just out in the open, between the kitchen and bedroom? With a clear glass door? The toilet seems to be in a little room with a door, but I swear the shower is out in the "hallway." Am I missing something?
How are you supposed to shower privately? Hang sheets over the shower door? I would make everyone except my husband clear out. No way would I shower in that thing with the kids inside the RV. And I'm not even a modest fundie.
I don't have much to say about Bro. Gary. I know too many people just like him. I'm just waiting on my ex to announce he's been called to sell his doublewide & the Church of the Holy Singlewide & take to the road in an RV ministry. Shudder.

Sis Shrew

[Lurky]

OK folks Bro Jody Hodnett is currently hinting he's about to grift to buy an empty CHURCH in Scotland (or maybe England, he's about as south as he can get in Scotland but keeps creeping southwards) which if he achieves it (he won't, would be fundy grifting hall of fame worthy).

But in terms of who's got what, as far as I know...

- Didn't the Bateses grift their house, just like J Rod?  J Rod has grifted the house, expensive printing equipment, I'm pretty sure the van and trailer was a grift too.

- John Shrader grifted a 'plane, even though it doesn't actually appear to fly - he's also grifted a couple of photo copiers, and land he's not legally allowed to own in Zambia

- the Dillards grifted a fair amount of cash for their missioncation to Scary Central America

Dear Sistren, who else should be the hall of fame for other grifting Fundies to aspire to?  (the ones who put the FUNDS into Fundies)?

Sis Lurky

[Palimpsest]

14 minutes ago, Lurky said:

OK folks Bro Jody Hodnett is currently hinting he's about to grift to buy an empty CHURCH in Scotland (or maybe England,

What?  Fuck that.  I'll have to check in on Jody, unless you updated the Jody thread.

I do think the repulsive Bergeys (who have a "heart" for orphans that they can screw up and over) deserve an honorable mention for grifting vehicles.  They are little less extravagant and never grifted an RV, to my knowledge.  However,  Daddy Bergey totaled one of their cars (note the plural) by SEVERELY bad driving - and handily grifted another one within days.

[Nikedagain?]

Ok folks. It's a sad state of affairs when JRod is the high bar in the field of fundie grifters.

I don't like to give her credit for ANYTHING. 

 

 

Sis Nikedagain?

[Georgiana]

Thread title suggestions:

Hawkins Family 2: Electric Weenaloo

Hawkins Family 2: Pink Weens in ME

Hawkins Family 2: Still saved, Still full of Gravy

Hawkins Family 2: Punctuation: No; Weens: Yes

Hawkins Family 2: Pink Drink, Pinker Gravy, Pinkest weens

[Lurky]

@Palimpsest Because I know you'll love it...

 

[missy1228]

1 hour ago, FeministShrew said:

Ok folks, in those photos of the Swinger RV missy1228 posted: is the shower just out in the open, between the kitchen and bedroom? With a clear glass door? The toilet seems to be in a little room with a door, but I swear the shower is out in the "hallway." Am I missing something?
How are you supposed to shower privately? Hang sheets over the shower door? I would make everyone except my husband clear out. No way would I shower in that thing with the kids inside the RV. And I'm not even a modest fundie.

 

Sis Shrew,

Our RV has a bathroom just like this one, but has a door that separates the living area from the shower/bedroom area (they are basically in the same room, with the toilet and sink in its own little room with its door) so when we shower, we close that door and have privacy. I'm thinking the Swinging RV has the same thing. At least I'm hoping, since no one needs to see Bro Gary in his birthday suit.

[Palimpsest]

41 minutes ago, Lurky said:

@Palimpsest Because I know you'll love it...

 

I am gobsmacked!  I hope @Gobsmacked will forgive the reference.

I think we have a winner in the totally unrealistic grifting sweepstakes here. Please Rufus he will not succeed.

And it is not (to my astonishment) either Shrader or JRod.  

[Nikedagain?]

3 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I think we have a winner in the totally unrealistic grifting sweepstakes here. Please Rufus he will not succeed.

And it is not (to my astonishment) either Shrader or JRod.  

Sis Palimpsest, I fear you're right.

Dew to the fact that Bro Gary has only 17 more days to raise about $48,000, I'm not feeling too good about things. 

Maybe he should ask the Naugs? They did it...

[Four is Enough]

19 hours ago, dora said:

De lurking to say I love this thread so much. And gravy is supposed to be brown.

Sis Dora has the right of it... I'm sure somewhere in Leviticus it says so.

11 hours ago, Curious said:

ok folks,

I don't have a problem with gravy being white.  White gravy is better on some things like biscuits and chicken fried steak (which you can't get where I live...country fried =/= chicken fried dammit!).  Brown gravy is better on mashed taters and turkey, etc.

I'm 100% certain that PINK gravy is NEVER acceptable and is an abomination from the pits of hell...ween or no ween.

Sis C

Of course, Sis curious has some good points about biscuits and chicken fried steak, and even shit on a shingle, if you go for that.. but the PINK gravy? Clutching my pearls here...

9 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Good weens, good weens, goods weens, good weens, I'm making you to feed my GODLY man.

Sis GJ wins the internet today... 

 

Sista Four

[Georgiana]

Ok Folks

OF COURSE we don't understand Bro Gary's gravy!  That's real MAN FOOD EATING!  HOW could our turkey lady brains comprehend it?!? The KJV says we CANNOT! We must accept Bro Gary's bro to bro teachings on gravy as mysteries to us wimminz, and accept that we cannot fathom it's truth and salvation!  Bro Gary's gravy is JESUS'S OWN MAN GRAVY!

Sis Gee

[Four is Enough]

Sis Gee is right, my sisters.. how can we fathom the mind of a godly man? (insert puking emoji here)

 

Sista Four