The Hawkins Family

[Georgiana]

Ok folks,

One of my favorite poems is Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky, which is comprised mainly of nonsense words.  I submit it to you know for comparison with Bro Gary's various "Jabberweens" of statuses.  Personally, I find the nonsense words MUCH easier to understand.

Spoiler

Jabberwocky

BY LEWIS CARROLL

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 

      Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: 

All mimsy were the borogoves, 

      And the mome raths outgrabe. 

 

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son! 

      The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! 

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun 

      The frumious Bandersnatch!” 

 

He took his vorpal sword in hand; 

      Long time the manxome foe he sought— 

So rested he by the Tumtum tree 

      And stood awhile in thought. 

 

And, as in uffish thought he stood, 

      The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, 

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, 

      And burbled as it came! 

 

One, two! One, two! And through and through 

      The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! 

He left it dead, and with its head 

      He went galumphing back. 

 

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? 

      Come to my arms, my beamish boy! 

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” 

      He chortled in his joy. 

 

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 

      Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: 

All mimsy were the borogoves, 

      And the mome raths outgrabe.

A full on slithy tove,

Sis Gee

[missy1228]

Ok Folks,

Am I the only one who thinks it's incredibly hilarious that their current RV is the Georgie Boy "SWINGER" model? Do you think he even knows what swingers are? I apologize in advance for bringing up something sex related in the same sentence with Bro Gary. Brain bleach needed for that. *shudder* 

 

(edited to add) I think I've found the model RV they have, and found one for sale with photos... while they have significantly less baby weens than the Rods, I'm still wondering where they fit the kids as far as sleeping arrangements. It's only 28ft long with no slide outs. My wife, 10 yr old daughter, and I live full time- currently and temporarily (we just moved cross country) in a 39ft Class C RV with 2 slide outs- the kind with the bunk over the front seats- and barely have enough room for the 3 of us with our pets. The 2 slide outs we have make all the difference in the world for room. It nearly doubles the size of the living room and the bedroom. (I would post photos but the wife is out of town and it's a disaster currently!) I am continually astounded with the RV Fundies who cram these poor kids like sardines in such a small place.

photos of the swinger RV:

https://www.lazydays.com/rvs/tampa-fl/class-a/georgie-boy-swinger-21009220

Sis Missy

[Lurky]

OK folks since Gary is a connection between Jill Rod and Jody Hodnett, I wonder how many degrees of separation there are between all the Fundies we snark about?  Like, how could we connect Bro Gary to the Boyers?  He connects by 2 jumps (via Jill R) to the Duggars, but does he connect to the Andersons? 

(And now I'm visualising a gigantic Fundy connections matrix!)

Sis Lurky

[pamplemousse]

3 hours ago, Dubiousclaire said:

Banana pudding is actally awesome. It can be found as a dessert at any respectable barbeque restaurant. 

Banana pudding, sliced bananas, vanilla wafers. Some people put it in a graham cracker crust pie shell and top it with whipped cream, but that is the fancy version. 

If you go to NYC or Chicago, get thee to Magnolia Bakery and get their banana pudding. One of my friends also swears by the banana pudding at Beasley's Chicken & Honey in Raleigh (and I tried it and it is very good), so get that if you are there. You may thank me later.

29 minutes ago, VGL said:

Ok folks,  anyone remember the anti-drug campaign with the fried egg and the slogan "This is your brain and this is your brain on drugs"?

That's what I think of with the original picture of weens and gravy. 

"This is your brain on weens and gravy"

*laughs. collapses. dies. It's all Bro Gary's fault!*

@Lurky, that is a good question. I don't know about the Andersons; but aren't the Duggars connected to the Maxwells and the Bateseseses, thereby making Bro Gary connect to the Maxwells and the Bateseseses by 3 jumps?

Sis pamplemousse

[formerpastorswife]

45 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, whoever designed that website deserved a swift kick in the ween.

Sis Jinjur

Who ever designed all the pictures and vinyl decorations splattered all over that poor trailer should get a kick in the ween!

(Almost looks like something JillRod Design Co would have scrambled up!) Come to think of it, I think Bro Gary & Sis Becky are to music what Bro. David & Sis. Jill are to the graphic design and printing business-- they claim it's their profession, yet their results resemble those of a design/music school dropout!

Sis. FormerPW

[AlwaysExcited]

19 minutes ago, Lurky said:

OK folks since Gary is a connection between Jill Rod and Jody Hodnett, I wonder how many degrees of separation there are between all the Fundies we snark about?  Like, how could we connect Bro Gary to the Boyers?  He connects by 2 jumps (via Jill R) to the Duggars, but does he connect to the Andersons? 

(And now I'm visualising a gigantic Fundy connections matrix!)

Sis Lurky

I'd be surprised if they all don't connect. It takes about 4 jumps to connect my country's most influential cult leader to Duggars* - and I live in Eastern Europe. 

*I actually realized that just few days ago, and was surprised it took me so long.

[seattlechic]

OK folks,

I want you all to come pray around the Sephora in downtown Seattle so I can get free fucking shipping that really takes two days and not one way. kthxbai

Sis Seattlechic, Unplugged

[Georgiana]

6 minutes ago, seattlechic said:

OK folks,

I want you all to come pray around the Sephora in downtown Seattle so I can get free fucking shipping that really takes two days and not one way. kthxbai

Sis Seattlechic, Unplugged

Don't worry, Sis.  Westlake ALWAYS has plenty of good loitering weens hanging around.  I am SURE you could convince a few to pray with you!  

[VVV]

4 hours ago, CelticGoddess said:

That's sacrilege.  One must never mix Big Red with anything else.  I will smite anyone who I see anyone using Big Red as a mixer.

Folks, the only thing Big Red is suitable for mixing with is the rest of the wastewater going down the drain. Seriously. I heard so much about it when I first moved to Texas nearly 30 years ago that I just *had* to try it. Took one big swallow, ran to the water fountain to spit it out and rinse the taste away before I started gagging.  One of the most revolting things I've ever tasted.

Sis VVV who will never be a Texan, I just live here.

[Kailash]

Ok folks- is there anything a good ween can't enhance? This thread has me thinking it's not possible. Add some ween for instant fun!

Sis Kailash 

[MayMay1123]

4 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

PS, Check out the website gospelstationonwheels.com. That's what was painted on the side of that thing he preaches in. I thought it was going to be a website selling them, but it turns out there's just the one gospel station on wheels and this is its adventures. Gary is featured on the website in the July 2016 pictures.

 

and once again, there's like 10 people there. i'm beginning to think folks don't actually want to hear weenie man preach...

sis.May

[Gobsmacked]

8 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, now Bro Gary is asking people to meet him to pray around the motorhome that he wants. I'm dying.

This dude ain't havin' that shit:

  Reveal hidden contents

Sis Jinjur

Ok folks. 

So a ring of folk gathering right around the outside of a motor home holding hands and sending up grifts to God?  Or perhaps walking slowly round said vehicle still holding hands chanting Grift, Grift Grift. 

Sis GS

[KentuckyAdjacent]

Okay folks...delurking because WEEN.  Also, to say that Gospel Station Wagon or whatever the fuck it is has a delightful selection of Chick tracts!

 

Yours in Holy Ween,

Sis KyAdj

[seattlechic]

24 minutes ago, KentuckyAdjacent said:

Okay folks...delurking because WEEN.  Also, to say that Gospel Station Wagon or whatever the fuck it is has a delightful selection of Chick tracts!

 

Yours in Holy Ween,

Sis KyAdj

Ok folks,

Let's all welcome Sys KyAdj to this super dynFUNctional family that is FJ. Can I get an AMEN!

Sis Seattlechic

[Lurky]

13 minutes ago, seattlechic said:

Let's all welcome Sys KyAdj to this super dynFUNctional family that is FJ. Can I get an AMEN!

AMEN and welcome Sis @KentuckyAdjacent! I always have a soft spot for the other FJers who, like me, were dragged out of lurkdom by whatever new low Jill Rod reached, but entering the fray because of Bro Gary is special!

[unsafetydancer]

Just spent the last 2 hours catching up on this. That RV in the picture is seriously rusty! It's probably not very safe. Also this guy is the gift that just keeps on giving; he fails so badly at facebook, parenting, eating and even the english language. I'm still questioning as to whether he's some kind of elaborate prank someone set up.

[General Jinjur]

1 hour ago, KentuckyAdjacent said:

Okay folks...delurking because WEEN.  Also, to say that Gospel Station Wagon or whatever the fuck it is has a delightful selection of Chick tracts!

 

Yours in Holy Ween,

Sis KyAdj

Welcome Sis! WEEN!

Sis Jinjur

[Anonymousguest]

50 minutes ago, unsafetydancer said:

Just spent the last 2 hours catching up on this. That RV in the picture is seriously rusty! It's probably not very safe. Also this guy is the gift that just keeps on giving; he fails so badly at facebook, parenting, eating and even the english language. I'm still questioning as to whether he's some kind of elaborate prank someone set up.

I know, it's almost too much to be real. How do people like this actually exist. All that you mentioned, plus the gay ex with complete custody of some of the children, it's just the cherry on top, and tips it into the unbelievable realm. 

[TheWayTheWorldWorks]

19 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

Now I am thinking the song "Jolene, Jolene" rhymes better with weens and I expect someone to run with it.

Oh please someone do this!  I tried but my creativity is gone.  Perhaps this shaky start will get someone's ween gravy flowin' in the correct direction:

You gravy beyond compare; the flowing sauce of auburn there; with real flour and pieces of good ween

[Nikedagain?]

Ok folks. I have some serious concerns that Bro Gary might not get to drive the new motorhome home to NX on September 28. The prayer circle just isn't producing needed results. He does have a pledge from one preacher of $100, however.

But to his credit, our unflappable Bro Gary doesn't seem to discourage easily.

Probably abstaining from all that contemporary music and eating all them weens has built him up a fine temperament.  

[AuntKrazy]

Ok folks.

I's confuzzld by whether or not Bro Garys eatin the pork weens. Aint the KING JAMES BIBLE be tellin the womenz to not be feedin pork cause o Levitez r uses? And aint the supper bowel also 4bid in they're two? I pritty shur we Rnt supoosed to be eatin creachers innards and haggis.

Sis AuntKrazy

[dora]

De lurking to say I love this thread so much. And gravy is supposed to be brown.
 

[VaSportsMom]

Ok folks. 
So a ring of folk gathering right around the outside of a motor home holding hands and sending up grifts to God?  Or perhaps walking slowly round said vehicle still holding hands chanting Grift, Grift Grift. 
Sis GS

I'm thinking Bro Gary might be better off talking to the fake Wiccans in Naug land and seeing if they can't put a curse on the owner until he gives Bro Gary and family that motorhome they so richly deserve.

[Bethella]

9 hours ago, Lurky said:

OK folks since Gary is a connection between Jill Rod and Jody Hodnett, I wonder how many degrees of separation there are between all the Fundies we snark about?  Like, how could we connect Bro Gary to the Boyers?  He connects by 2 jumps (via Jill R) to the Duggars, but does he connect to the Andersons? 

(And now I'm visualising a gigantic Fundy connections matrix!)

Sis Lurky

8 hours ago, pamplemousse said:

@Lurky, that is a good question. I don't know about the Andersons; but aren't the Duggars connected to the Maxwells and the Bateseseses, thereby making Bro Gary connect to the Maxwells and the Bateseseses by 3 jumps?

Sis pamplemousse

Yep, four jumps from Gary to the Rods to the Duggars to the Maxwells to the Andersons. I'm not sure about the Boyer sisters as I don't follow them closely enough, although Rick Boyer (Home Educators Association of Virginia, not related to the Boyer sisters) is connected with three jumps (Gary- Rods- Duggars- Rick Boyer).

If you really want to have fun, look at BFFs Robert Staddon and David Waller. David Waller's brother, Derick is married to Jennie Wilkes, who is Matthew Wilkes' sister, and Matthew is married to Amanda Neely, who is Kathryn Neely's sister, and Kathryn is now married to Daniel Staddon, who is Robert Staddon's brother.  

[EmiGirl]

What's the deal with non gothard fundies and contemporary Christian music? I know gothard has this thing about the back beat being from Africa and Africa and anything from it is apparantly Satan, but can any of them produce scripture to back this up?