Dillards 38: Still Chewing on that Foot in His Mouth

[victoriasponge]

I lived in the USA for 3 months last year and, until then, hadn't realised just how much of an unofficial theocracy you've got going on over there. One person I spoke to actually told me 'the separation of Church and state doesn't mean Christianity has to get out of politics' - I mean, it's not that straightforward, but it certainly means the State and Christianity shouldn't be one and the same.

Never realised how scary it could be until the whole DUP debacle here earlier in the year. I'd hate to live somewhere people vote purely along religious lines and nothing else, it's just very strange... especially when complaining about Islamic countries implementing unfair policies on minorities. Oh, the irony. Not that fundies know what irony is... So yes, Derrick, you keep bleating on about the war on Christianity, I'm assuming that means your next mission trip will be to somewhere Christians are actually violated and need help, preferably without condemning them if they're Catholic. (I suppose the only acceptable War on Christianity is the War on Catholicism?)

[Georgiana]

Jussssst a small note:

I personally am not comfortable calling Derrick "able bodied". We have observed that he has had some MAJOR surgery done, and it doesn't seem to have been for vanity reasons. He does seem to have some serious health issues, and while they don't APPEAR to impact his life, he's also never discussed the matter.

There are a lot of invisible illnesses out there, and one of the major hurdles people with invisible illness face is others assuming they are "able bodied" just because their disability is not immediately apparent to the naked eye. 

Not that I think we should assume that everyone is sick. Jeremy or Ben, for example, have shown us ample evidence of being able bodied. 

But not Derrick. I'm of the opinion that if you suffer from a condition that necessitates ongoing, substantial medical care in your 20s when you should be at the peak of your physical powers, you are NOT fully able bodied. 

[Zenyatta]

I remember having a hard time with the Caitlyn Jenner transition.  As portrayed on her/Kardashian shows, the only things that mattered were her hair, nail polish, dresses.  Not once did I hear her express anything about a real female experience.   

[Snarkle Motion]

I'm doing my best to remain appropriate and not cross any lines. Something was challenging with this birth and led them to post about feeling punished or questioning their decisions. Is it possible derick's timing with his attack on jazz to distract from something related to the birth? Or did something related to the birth cause him to lash out now? There are many possible reasons but maybe placing responsibility for being on a a network associated with "sin?"

[FloraDoraDolly]

3 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I wonder if he's annoyed that TLC's adding another reality show with a trans cast member. http://people.com/tv/jackie-evancho-juliet-evancho-tlc-special-growing-up-evancho/

Oh, good grief! An aging child prodigy whose fan base is mostly right-wing Christians, a set of pushy stage parents, and now they've got a trans kid, too. All that's missing are the child beauty pageants and a set of 'tuplets. I don't think I'll be watching this one.

[Fluffy14]

As for Derick's tweet about Jazz. I just think he crawled out of his shell long enough to take a stretch and look around at the programming on the TLC Network. And poof he found Jazz, thus the new crusade began.

[FeministFunPolice]

4 hours ago, Zenyatta said:

I remember having a hard time with the Caitlyn Jenner transition.  As portrayed on her/Kardashian shows, the only things that mattered were her hair, nail polish, dresses.  Not once did I hear her express anything about a real female experience.   

I would put that in the context of a person who has been living as a man for 60 years. It makes sense to me that now she has the freedom to do feminine things like wear dresses and get nails done she wants to do it all the time. Also Caitlyn Jenner is a rich retired lady, what else does she have to do with her time but play dress-ups? 

[FloraDoraDolly]

1 hour ago, FeministFunPolice said:

I would put that in the context of a person who has been living as a man for 60 years. It makes sense to me that now she has the freedom to do feminine things like wear dresses and get nails done she wants to do it all the time. Also Caitlyn Jenner is a rich retired lady, what else does she have to do with her time but play dress-ups? 

The last photo I saw of her, she was wearing a Make America Great Again hat. I have a friend who is not trans herself, but she is an activist who volunteers for an organization that serves trans women of color. She is disgusted with Caitlyn's Republicanism as well as with the famous trans activists from Caitlyn's show who refuse to call her out on it because she's "still learning." How long does it take someone to learn that Republicans are against everything the LGBT movement stands for?

[MadeItOut]

12 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

@PracticeMakesProgress as to  your question. I'm sure there is some infighting there, as humans are bound to bicker, but I don't believe there is a straight up dislike of Trans women vs drag queens, and drag queens vs transvestite.  Alaska Thunderfuck vs Eddie Izzard.  Google them Alaska is a drag queen Eddie is a Transvestite  both are awesome in their own ways.  I only know 2 F2M transgender boy/man (one is 17 the other 20) and I know both of them have no issues with drag queens or cross dressers.  So I would imagine the same to be true for M2F trans-women.

Hope you guys don't mind: without referencing here, I mentioned to my trans friend that it had come up in conversation & would she share her opinion as she works in a drag queen club and did throughout her transition. She said that in her experience, by and large there are no issues and that everyone is extremely loving & supportive. If ever there are problems, it tends to be the normal, small, interpersonal stuff that happens in any group of people.

9 hours ago, Imagine20 said:

DD says there's a global war on Christians? Was there a church bombed this weekend, too, somewhere in the US? I wonder what was said about the MN mosque. 

As a MN Muslim, I can't even with that one. 

Dullard just a blow hard who would run (and then throw up like he apparently does) if confronted in person with own words. He's a confident bully when hidden behind a screen. 

I am so sorry about you guys' mosque. I know ultimately that it's not about the space, but no-one had a right to deprive anyone else of their sacred space. It's beyond not cool.

[CancerBomb]

I wish Christians would understand that backlash against being a bully does not mean persecution. I mean, as an autonomous being, Derick is entitled to his own thoughts and opinions, but his rights end where others begin. By going on religious crusades and cyberbullying, he is hurting others, thus having his autonomy end as it affects others. 

[PainfullyAware]

I'm not sure that there was any personal stress, like birth complications, that directly caused Derrick to lash out. I think he just decided to 'spread the truth' (spew his transphobia). It was likely a very calm and cheerful decision on his part. Somewhere along the way he decided playing happy family on TV as a form of ministry wasn't enough. He wants to put his beliefs into words no matter what the backlash may be because it's 'truth telling' in the age where we are all listening to the devil. Maybe he welcomes the backlash as a platform to reach more people. I'd agree his deepening fanaticism is from some kind of bitterness over ....something... but it's been gradually happening for awhile.  General relationship disappointment, perhaps a lack of success on the mission field, disillusionment with the show, health problems...there are probably several issues that are pushing him deeper into public displays of fundamentalism.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

Ugh. 

I actually had a little bit of hope for poor Jilly Muffin's future during her Nepal episodes and throughout her courtship and engagement. He was almost endearing. He seemed excited to meet her and polite. 

He was college educated in an employable field and seemed reasonably normal for a conservative Christian. While he wasn't a frat boy in college, he at least had some life experience, more so than the girl who wasn't even allowed to Skype him without parental supervision. As much as I despise Walmart, he came home and started working for a company that provided health insurance, a decent salary for their area, and opportunities for career advancement (and he could have used his experience to move to another company if he wanted). At this point, he was still kinda cute in that sort of endearing and dorky way. I remember thinking Dewreck must really like Jill to be wiling to put up with the whole courtship rules, which we all know they don't set for themselves despite what Boob and J'Uterus say. They seemed interested in doing mission work and learning Spanish, which I stupidly thought was something they'd do a couple of times a year, like the SOS or whatever trips. 

~4 years later, where are they? I generally hate to be negative about physical appearance, but Dewreck looks like he hasn't seen a shower in a year and I don't know how Jill manages to be within 10 feet of him without vomiting. He quit his solid job/career to go play 'Heathen Convertor' in one of the world's most dangerous countries with a pregnant wife and infant child. Despite having spent a lot of time in El Salvador, their Spanish is somehow still below the level of a college student who has taken 2 semesters of Spanish in college but has never been to a Spanish speaking country. There is literally no excuse for how bad/non existent their Spanish is with the amount of time they have spent there and the amount of opportunities they have been given to learn and practice. And the cherry on top? Dewreck is showing himself to be dumb and crazy enough to think that bullying a teenage girl on social media is a smart idea. What a mess.

A tiny part of me actually feels sorry for Jilly Muffin. Her kinda cute/endearing boyfriend with a college education and career prospects turned into this crazy unbathed fruit-loop who quits his good job and "leads" her to be in dangerous El Salvador while 298 months pregnant and raising a toddler. The TLC gravy train won't last forever (people are already getting bored of babies/weddings and there are only so many scandals this family can survive) and then I suspect she'll REALLY start to be mad Dewreck threw away his solid career. 

[season of life]

11 hours ago, Imagine20 said:

DD says there's a global war on Christians? Was there a church bombed this weekend, too, somewhere in the US? I wonder what was said about the MN mosque. 

As a MN Muslim, I can't even with that one. 

Dullard just a blow hard who would run (and then throw up like he apparently does) if confronted in person with own words. He's a confident bully when hidden behind a screen. 

I'm Muslim too!

People like Derick bury their heads in the sand when news of discrimination against other religions pops up.

[elliha]

12 hours ago, cascarones said:

I think there's some younger folk here, still in school and Derick's twit nittering had me call an old friend from my university days. He's doing well, but we talked about that first I "got it" moment. Back then it was female pronouns and when asked, "I'm androgynous", but I'd never seen so much panic on his face as when my bestie from my dorm caught up with us in a dining hall. You see, they'd gone to the same elite, Catholic girls school and been quite close, until he fell off the map. He wasn't ready yet to mix what he was discovering about himself with anyone back home. It came pouring out later, his phone had been taken, the car had been taken, his parents had lost it completely when the long blonde hair went and became a short, spiky fire engine red look. 

So if you're in school, be gentle, be a friend and understand that not only is it a journey, and while college is a time for self discovery sometimes it's a time spent seeking patience. He used to call himself the "Lady in Waiting", because he knew ultimately he would take the steps, but with being cut off and a generous scholarship he was stuck living in the dorm that corresponded to his birth gender.  Be protective, be courageous and trust your gut.

His biggest regret in our friendship is that when my date started throwing racial and transphobic insults at my friends for insisting they take me home instead of him, he punched my ill advised beau only for himself. That he didn't get to kick him in the balls on my behalf for whatever it was my date helpfully put in my drink in the hopes I'd put out . So watch your drinks and your friends, ladies and gents. 

So I guess at least there's an example of why group dating and chaperones are pretty darn awesome sometimes.

This made me think of when I met a guy from school in my former hometown in my new hometown. I have never seen someone looking more scared than that guy when I said "hi" to him. It wasn't until I saw his face I really registered that he was walking around with another man in a way that would make it very unlikely that he was anything but romantically involved with him. I never told a soul about it because I really respected his right to tell whoever he wanted when he wanted to about this. This year I met him again and got the same horrified look from him. Now he was back in my old hometown with a wife/girlfriend and kids. I really hope he is bi and happy in his life now. This is really the first time I have ever said anything about this to anyone. 

[meee]

2 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

Despite having spent a lot of time in El Salvador, their Spanish is somehow still below the level of a college student who has taken 2 semesters of Spanish in college but has never been to a Spanish speaking country. There is literally no excuse for how bad/non existent their Spanish is with the amount of time they have spent there and the amount of opportunities they have been given to learn and practice.

I agree with the rest of your post, but "literally no excuse" isn't quite fair - I live in a non-English speaking country and I have friends who can't speak the local language despite being here a decade or more.  One is a working mother who hasn't had time to step outside her English-speaking neighborhood and learn the language because she's busy with her (English-speaking) job and her family. The other has tried, diligently, for years (and does NOT live in an English-speaking area, and his wife and children are all fluent), but he has some learning disabilities that majorly get in the way and he can't do much more than basic greetings.

I don't necessarily think that's the case for the Dillards. But sometimes there is an "excuse" for living in a country and not speaking the language.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

12 minutes ago, meee said:

I agree with the rest of your post, but "literally no excuse" isn't quite fair - I live in a non-English speaking country and I have friends who can't speak the local language despite being here a decade or more.  One is a working mother who hasn't had time to step outside her English-speaking neighborhood and learn the language because she's busy with her (English-speaking) job and her family. The other has tried, diligently, for years (and does NOT live in an English-speaking area, and his wife and children are all fluent), but he has some learning disabilities that majorly get in the way and he can't do much more than basic greetings.

I don't necessarily think that's the case for the Dillards. But sometimes there is an "excuse" for living in a country and not speaking the language.

You're right.

I wasn't very clear with what I meant.

I meant "literally no excuse" in the context of 2 people (Jilly Muffin and Dewreck) who said that they wanted to learn Spanish and seem to have made absolutely no progress in the ~2 years they have been in a Spanish speaking country. Even if they are not natural language learners, I think if they were genuinely serious about learning Spanish, they would have made at least some progress by this point. They have ample opportunity to learn and practice in El Salvador. But I don't think either of them can speak more than a few words from what we've seen. Who knows what Jill's academic capabilities are like since she is from SOTDRT, but Dewreck has an accounting degree from an accredited college, so I'm pretty sure he could have picked up some of the language if he really tried to.

I suspect the reason the Dullards can't say much more than "hola" and "gracias" is because they are lazy and haven't made as much of an effort to learn as they could have. I'm not saying they have to be fluent, but assuming neither has a learning disability, if they were truly serious about learning, they should be at least a 'basic conversational' level as a bare minimum by now. But I suspect they're not really serious about learning and just said that......or they assumed they wouldn't have to put any effort into learning and immersion alone would do it (and that really only works for babies/very young children). 

[Dutchie]

39 minutes ago, meee said:

I agree with the rest of your post, but "literally no excuse" isn't quite fair - I live in a non-English speaking country and I have friends who can't speak the local language despite being here a decade or more.  One is a working mother who hasn't had time to step outside her English-speaking neighborhood and learn the language because she's busy with her (English-speaking) job and her family. The other has tried, diligently, for years (and does NOT live in an English-speaking area, and his wife and children are all fluent), but he has some learning disabilities that majorly get in the way and he can't do much more than basic greetings.

I don't necessarily think that's the case for the Dillards. But sometimes there is an "excuse" for living in a country and not speaking the language.

I kind of agree, I'm from Holland and here (in my social circle) most people speak quite effortless, while far from perfect English. In most social engagements it is just easier to switch to English than to help someone learn Dutch. Which I know is a problem for people trying to learn the local language. 

[scoutsadie]

12 hours ago, victoriasponge said:

I lived in the USA for 3 months last year and, until then, hadn't realised just how much of an unofficial theocracy you've got going on over there. One person I spoke to actually told me 'the separation of Church and state doesn't mean Christianity has to get out of politics' - I mean, it's not that straightforward, but it certainly means the State and Christianity shouldn't be one and the same.

More irony - church-state separation protects the right of these folks to worship and study and believe as they wish... And yet often evangelical Christians attack it and those of us to work to defend it.  At my office we have a wall full of hate mail from people calling us all sorts of horrible things - in the name of Jesus, of course. (Good news - ha - is that many Christians and other religious people do get it, and support the principle, and our work.)

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

17 hours ago, CoveredInBees said:

Just as an aside, Eddie now refers to himself as trans rather than TV (I apologise for being nit picky). He is indeed awesome  

I'm now going to go and google Alaska Thunderfuck to discover more awesomeness  

I had not heard that. Thank you for the info.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

13 hours ago, victoriasponge said:

I lived in the USA for 3 months last year and, until then, hadn't realised just how much of an unofficial theocracy you've got going on over there. One person I spoke to actually told me 'the separation of Church and state doesn't mean Christianity has to get out of politics' - I mean, it's not that straightforward, but it certainly means the State and Christianity shouldn't be one and the same.

That one person you spoke to was a typical right wing dipshit who things the constitution begins and ends with the 2nd Amendment. But they neglect the 1st,  that being Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; (that is just the 1st part of it there is more but that isn't what you are asking) but yes our laws straightforwardly state that the government shall make now laws forcing you to believe one religion or stop you from believing in another.  But yes we are very much a theocracy, thanks to a minority of voters, who have the biggest mouths and the most money. And in America boy do we worship our money.

[zygote373]

16 hours ago, Snarkle Motion said:

The idea is that someone like Caitlyn Jenner can't speak to certain female experiences because she embraced the privilege and benefits of being a man prior to her transition. While I don't really think that was her choice or her fault, she did benefit from being male in ways that she would not have as a woman. A female Olympian from that time would not have earned the endorsements or fame that Caitlyn achieved.

This argument drives me batty. (I know you already said you don't agree with the exclusion; I am speaking in general.)

Sure, trans women may have been treated as males and received some privileges that come with that. But from speaking to trans women I know, they do not experience male privilege the same way as cis men. Being treated as the "wrong" gender is packaged up with shame, guilt, dysphoria, and all kinds of negative emotions. It may not be the same experience as a cis woman, but it is still the experience of a woman.

[seraaa]

13 hours ago, Zenyatta said:

I remember having a hard time with the Caitlyn Jenner transition.  As portrayed on her/Kardashian shows, the only things that mattered were her hair, nail polish, dresses.  Not once did I hear her express anything about a real female experience.   

I wouldn't be looking to the Kardashians' show to be any kind of nuanced authority on the matter, honestly.    

Transgender women and cisgender women have different experiences; the two different adjectives prefacing 'woman' kind of speak to that. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

2 hours ago, Dutchie said:

I kind of agree, I'm from Holland and here (in my social circle) most people speak quite effortless, while far from perfect English. In most social engagements it is just easier to switch to English than to help someone learn Dutch. Which I know is a problem for people trying to learn the local language. 

Point taken, but idk. 

I did a study year abroad in Berlin and like your social circle, my social circle there used English as a lingua franca as it was sort of the 'common' language everyone spoke. I spoke fluent German already because I learned from my father, but I can truly say that over the year, everyone I know that came to Berlin with the goal of improving their German DID make some form of progress. 

I'm not saying they were all perfectly fluent at the end of their year or anything (the ones who did pass C1/C2 and are about as fluent as a non native speak can get were the ones who had studied the language seriously for 3+ years before their year abroad), but everyone improved from the level they arrived in Berlin with, regardless of whether they were a beginning wanting to learn the basis, or a high intermediate speaker wanting to gain advanced skills. 

It took some work on their part of course. It meant doing things like taking a regular language class while there, or putting themselves out there and trying to order their food/Starbucks in German every single time, or making a point of watching German TV for an hour a day no matter how bad it was, or trying a conversation with their uber/taxi drivers, or asking if they could practice with me or another fluent speaker - fwiw I always said yes! I think there are always ways to improve if you really want to and are genuinely committed to improving. And being in the country where the language is spoking makes it easier to improve if you commit to improving. 

I just can't help but think that if Jilly Muffin and Dewreck truly wanted to improve their Spanish they'd have made SOME progress in the 2 years they've been in El Salvador. I'm no saying I expect them to sing Despacio perfectly next week, but come on. Surely they have enough questionably donated money to pay for a weekly Spanish class or something, or can spare a little bit of time each week to go through a workbook or some flash cards, or can ask one of their local friends to practice speaking with them sometimes. 

I suspect the problem is that doing something like that would require actual effort, which is not something either seem to like.....

[Drala]

17 hours ago, Snarkle Motion said:

This exists in feminist circles as well. While I don't personally support their opinion, I can understand some of the logic behind it. The idea is that someone like Caitlyn Jenner can't speak to certain female experiences because she embraced the privilege and benefits of being a man prior to her transition. While I don't really think that was her choice or her fault, she did benefit from being male in ways that she would not have as a woman. A female Olympian from that time would not have earned the endorsements or fame that Caitlyn achieved.

I also understand the logic, but Jazz' situation challenges the scenario where the M2F trans has benefited from male privilege by growing up male.  People who transition early in life experience few privileges and many disadvantages, and more and more people are transitioning in childhood.  I'd say the trans life experience is uniquely gendered, but inclusion among women is preferable to exclusion.  

[SassyPants]

28 minutes ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

 

I suspect the problem is that doing something like that would require actual effort, which is not something either seem to like.....

I agree. And what are the odds that both of them would have such a hard time learning the language? Derick has a BS degree, so we know that he has the capacity to learn. Jill is left proven, but still. I think their lack of language skills is a pretty good indication that they do not engage much with the locals. I wonder if they're just holed up in the compound? Also, when DD preaches, is it in English or Espanol?