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Lori Alexander 25: A Wife Is a Good *Thing*


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Just now, louisa05 said:

I could go on and on about this. At the Christian school I taught at, it was nearly impossible to make high school students understand satire or parody in lit class. They took it all literally. The curriculum helped out with the problem of not understanding how to interpret anything. Basically the study questions and materials that came with the lit curriculum (which was from A Beka and is popular among homeschoolers as well) led them to one and only one interpretation of everything. Questions would be phrased like this: "Is the character motivated in this situation by A or B? Explain why she is motivated by B."  In any other curriculum, high school students would be asked something like "Why do you think the character made the choices she did?". 

I am not familiar with homeschooling or with A Beka, but I find it interesting that the materials the present are so literal.  It seems to me (just a guess) that they discourage independent thinking.  Everything has an answer.  It is either this or that.   Thus, they are so certain about their Bibles and beliefs .. but here is the problem:  "The opposite of faith is not doubt, it is certainty" - Ann Lamott

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Today's FB and blog is about us perpetually angry married women.  To hear Lori tell it we are all raging, out of control harpies, harridans and shrews.  All day. Every day. All year. Every year. She reminds us that older women need to teach young wives how to love their husbands as

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"This does not come naturally nor easily for most women."  

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"The problem with most women is that they spend their married years being mad and upset with their husbands."

Really Lori?  Seriously?  You've done field studies on this?   Um...  in a word.... No.

Your statement applies to you and your 23 years of making Ken's life hell*** because ......., oh I don't know ........ you wanted to, you're a hateful bitch, you're a shallow, spoiled brat who gets what she wants or else, How about all of the above.

But Lori says we can get over all this anger if we just think nice thoughts about our husbands,  Her advice is to confess our sin of anger to the hubby, and ask for forgiveness.  Then every time we have a negative or critical thought, we replace it with something good about the guy.  Then pretty soon we angry wives won't be angry any more and our marriages will be all sunshine , lollipops and rainbows.

So remember this next time the hubby is beating the hell out of you/ the children or he is in a rage because dinner was 10 minutes late or blew all your savings on a boat with no lake in sight or cheated on you yet again.  Just think a good thought about him and everything will be just fine.

*** I'm in no way white knighting for Ken, but 23 years of Lori continuously bitching at you is more than anyone should have to endure, even Ken.

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16 minutes ago, Liza said:

I am not familiar with homeschooling or with A Beka, but I find it interesting that the materials the present are so literal.  It seems to me (just a guess) that they discourage independent thinking.  Everything has an answer.  It is either this or that.   Thus, they are so certain about their Bibles and beliefs .. but here is the problem:  "The opposite of faith is not doubt, it is certainty" - Ann Lamott

Actually, the answer was never "this or that". It was always defined by the follow up. Where a normal text would say "why do you think..." and follow it with "explain your answer", A Beka's follow up was always basically "explain why this is the answer". 

It took me three weeks my first year to stop assigning the questions in the book. I made my own study guides and assignments for everything. The other English teachers I worked with (except one who was Christian schooled in A Beka and a Christian college graduate) didn't use them either. 

@Red Hair, Black Dress I am always baffled by the assumption that Lori and many of her minions make that all marriages are so unhappy and full of conflict. Why did these people get together in the first place if they are so annoyed and angry with each other all the time? Or could it be that their entire concept of marriage with strict gender roles and total submission leads to anger and resentment? 

Somehow I think the second question provides the answer. It reminds me of a good friend who was raised fundagelical and drug her (mainline Protestant raised) husband off to a marriage conference early in their marriage. They came home and tried to apply all of these gender roles and submission rules and spent about a month fighting non-stop and truly hating each other. Then they had the epiphany that when they were not doing any of that, they were perfectly content. End of gender role/submission experiment and the marriage went back to being happy and peaceful. And she was forced to reevaluate all the crap she had been fed from childhood. 

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17 minutes ago, Liza said:

It seems to me (just a guess) that they discourage independent thinking.  Everything has an answer.  It is either this or that.

When I was growing up, my mom used to flat out tell me that too much knowledge was dangerous, aka, "bad".  There was a particular friendly acquaintance of my sisters (she's 6 years older) who had begun reading in depth about the Masons and the occult.  My mom would tell me not to spend too much time around him because he'd read things and was "different".  I'd heard more than once growing up that independent thinking was, indeed, bad both from her and from others in our little community.  

We went to public school, granted in an extremely small Bible belt town, but still public.  She was a teacher's aid there for 22 years.  Today she would swear her attitude was not so strict, but it's to save face in front of two educated daughters. 

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@ImrlgoddessThere were two final straws that made me escape Christian school (and it truly felt like I had to escape as they locked you in to a new contract by February 1 each year or your job was considered open--and at that point, no other jobs elsewhere for the next year were posted--when I finally left, I found out that their contracts were illegal in our state as teachers cannot be forced to sign a contract prior to May 15). 

The first of those two final straws was a staff meeting where, as is typical in secondary staff meetings, the "any students we should be concerned about" question was asked. Someone brought up an absolutely delightful girl who was new to the school as a senior (an Air Force family). She was brilliant, well-read, curious about everything. I had her in drama and adored her. The person who brought her up was worried about her because "she reads too much and thinks too much". Then the rest of her teachers except me proceeded to agree and the principal decreed that we should watch her closely. I sat there thinking, "this is what we are worried about as a school faculty? A kid who reads and thinks? The kind of kid who is a normal teacher's dream is someone we are supposed to be worried about?" . 

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I seem to remember Lori saying once she didn't actually like Ken all that much throughout dating and being engaged.  She's said more than once that she and Ken fought and argued the entire time they were dating and engaged.

We've all heard the story of the raging fight on their honeymoon over Ken's love of canned spray cheese and crackers.  I think it's gross myself, but to each his own.  I can find no answer to why they got married, except possibly Ken wanted sex and Lori wanted not to work ever,  Not exactly a basis for a happy union.

Ah...... teaching in a Christian school that openly and vigorously discourages independent and critical thinking. Years ago, straight out of grad school armed with my English degree. I taught for a year in a fundie Southern Baptist 2-year college.  Actually it was about the size of a high school.  Oh I have stories, believe me.  I've never met so many truly awful people who professed to be gody, holier-than-thou, Christians in my entire life -- mostly the faculty.

@louisa05's experience is much like mine, although we didn't use A Beka curriculum.  The course guides which we were required to follow without deviation were designed to lead to fundie faith-based answers for everything.  Which meant the students came up with some pretty strange, and off the wall interpretations for the literature we read, After the first month I threw out the course guides and wrote my own, and also brought in supplemental reading that was not on the proscribed list. 

The oddest of all was the fundie reasons they came up with in the remedial grammar & writing class I taught.  Did you know that spelling and punctuation is biblical and we must follow the Bible's rules on it? Yep ... there's a commandment or verse somewhere in the Bible, or else a pastor told them that.

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This does not come naturally nor easily for most women. They look and act their best before marriage but after marriage, many no longer care about looking or acting their best for their husbands.

Once again, I wonder, what women does Lori know who act like this? 

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now that there is no strife in our marriage, life is much happier and more enjoyable for both of us!

Tsk, tsk, Lori, such a fib. Wasn't there a bit of a domestic upset not long ago because you flubbed the lemonade timing? 

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The problem with most women is that they spend their married years being mad and upset with their husbands. 

No, Lori, that's just YOU.

 

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11 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

The oddest of all was the fundie reasons they came up with in the remedial grammar & writing class I taught.  Did you know that spelling and punctuation is biblical and we must follow the Bible's rules on it? Yep ... there's a commandment or verse somewhere in the Bible, or else a pastor told them that.

We had a superintendent for a short time who wanted us to dump literature and writing and teach nothing but grammar in English classes. That was what was done at the Christian boarding school he had been at before coming to our school and he thought it was the key to everything from being strong students to being good Christians. And I heard in those circles more than once that grammar rules are good training for following "God's rules". The A Beka grammar curriculum includes quizzes and tests where students are to memorize the rules by number and letter. Again, only the A Beka educated/ Christian college English teacher ever used those. The rest of us felt that properly applying good grammar was more important than rewriting grammar rules in the book's exact words. 

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21 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

We had a superintendent for a short time who wanted us to dump literature and writing and teach nothing but grammar in English classes.

I am not a fan of the National Curriculum in England, but it does at least defend students from teachers like that!

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Regarding that comment I posted from Tabi last night that was deleted on facebook, well, it looks like Tabi tried similar comment on her blog and that one went through. I don't know if Lori just doesn't realize or if that was an oops to be deleted soon. 

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I have to throw this out there bc Honey just walked into my office bearing breakfasty num nums.  She can keep her organic everything....there's no way she's going to convince me that a Big Salad is more soul satisfying than boudin (rice and pork meat) coupled with pepper jack cheese, wrapped lovingly in a spring roll wrapper and..........deep fried.  And yes Lori, I can attest to the quality of that meat as it was most likely walking around it's pen yesterday morning.  And the cheese?  The building in which I work is literally right next door to the Borden processing plant.  So yeah.  Know where that come from too!  Like the ladies in Beauty Shop told Alicia Silverstone's character....get you some greens and some hog fat and you'll get a booty.  Get a booty Lori!!! The fellas dig it!

 

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My husband loves my booty. Even though I'm horrified by how large it is. He stubbornly insists that no matter how much weight i lose, that booty will still be there because "baby you built for curves & booty"

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Today's post is another desperate attempt to snag viewership with a sensationalist title - Too Many Angry Wives - and an accompanying image that's reminiscent of Van Gogh's "The Scream".

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Older women are to teach the young women to love their husbands

What about the older women who are in unhappy marriages? This implies that older women are wiser and calmer and love their husbands more than younger women. Maybe, maybe not. "Older" does not necessarily mean "qualified". (Example: Lori herself)

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The problem with most women is that they spend their married years being mad and upset with their husbands. Why is this? Why do so many women spend so much time and energy being angry with their husbands? I asked the women in the chat room and here is how some of them responded.

In other words, "I asked women who are a lot like me, or who want to be like me." She could have asked this question on FB, but then she'd run the risk of answers that don't prove her point.

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Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
 Ephesians 4:31

Lori should read her own advice. Older does not equal wiser.

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Anyway, I am always livid when he and Lori write their own version of the Bible. I wonder what they'll call their new church....

Our Lady of the Big Salad?

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My face if Lori ever uses facts and statistics from a credible, third-party, peer-reviewed source, with full citations.

IMG_7891.JPG.f88967fc35767fe6f8ba6993a142a010.JPG

 

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I am a member of a migraine support forum. Today someone shared the picture on the left and it made me think of the picture from Lori's post. 

Lesson of the week: Ken and Lori believe marriage is equal to a constant brain-splitting migraine. 

IMG_7575.JPG

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Lori must not realize that calling passive aggressive manipulation "submission" does not erase the anger behind it.  

Lori continually exposes her own anger with every post and deletion of reasonable questions and comments that differ from her.  

Why do Lori and her fangirls spend so much time being angry?  IMHO, because instead of being adults who learn to communicate and work through issues together, they run around and try and guess what someone wants and deliver it without regard to the recipients true wishes or their own identities.  Lori and her kind are investing in a narrow idea of "submission" and not in the relationship, which is recipe for an increasingly high bar to live up to.

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 I am so sick or her constant negative talk about women.  I also feel for the young fangirls who read this crap every morning when I'm sure they are trying hard to do the right things, yet never hear a work of encouragment.  Sure, I've known some catty women, but most women I know are kind and will help anyone in need. 

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Hhahah whoever was comparing Lori to Activist Mommy got it right. Her doodle just now on facebook talks about the Teen Vogue Anal sex drama. She figured she better get on this bandwagon in hopes of going viral like Activist. 

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44 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Hhahah whoever was comparing Lori to Activist Mommy got it right. Her doodle just now on facebook talks about the Teen Vogue Anal sex drama. She figured she better get on this bandwagon in hopes of going viral like Activist. 

I have to say I'm with Activist Mommy on this one. There is no need to discuss anal sex in a magazine for young girls. Stick to fashion and boy bands.

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Just now, Free Jana Duggar said:

I have to say I'm with Activist Mommy on this one. There is no need to discuss anal sex in a magazine for young girls. Stick to fashion and bit bands.

Oh yes, totally agree. In fact, surprised its not getting more attention than it is. 

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5 hours ago, BlackSheep said:

Today's post is another desperate attempt to snag viewership with a sensationalist title - Too Many Angry Wives - and an accompanying image that's reminiscent of Van Gogh's "The Scream".

BlackSheep, I agree with your whole post! Just quoting to say "Edvard Munch" not Van Gogh :-)

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53 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I have to say I'm with Activist Mommy on this one. There is no need to discuss anal sex in a magazine for young girls. Stick to fashion and boy bands.

Really?  You don't think teens that are sexually active do things other than PiV/missionary position sex?  I'd rather that my child have information and know how to proceed safely.

Did any of you actually read the article?  It's written by a sex educator.  It was written in plain english and was, IMO, less vulgar than things that Lori and other fundies post about sex.

It also had nice big diagrams for those people that think you pee out of your vajayjay :pb_rollseyes:

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