Dillards 35: Waiting on People Magazine

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[karen77]

Both my labors weren't too bad, had to be induced for one (water broke, no labor) and not for the other, had an epi with both, had a couple stitches with both, but nothing major or serious, healed up fine!  

[cascarones]

@So-Virgin-It-Hurts @karen77 - I know I'm missing someone, but we'll start here!

Sort of Seattle here, I just moved away for a new job, but the other half and kitty are still there while he job hunts here. The cat is holding it personally against him that I'm gone, so I feel loved and he's got cat sick in his shoes, which thankfully he's a good sport about. But....if any of you PNW folks can recommend good boarding vets, I'm open ears. We've never had to board her before, but will be gone for a week and the people we'd trust to check on and play with her have work trips scheduled as well.

Just like you tend to hear the horror birth stories, same sort of thing seems to be true for vets and he's getting anxious about leaving her  

[kacarlton]

I'd like to share my thoughts on when adult children who have left the duggar household should be held accountable for their views. I don't think there is a definitive answer and my guess is that it would be different from person to person.

 

I grew up in a strict, southern baptist household with lots of indoctrination, although I was certainly afforded educational opportunities and access to books of choice and other information as I grew up. Still, I would say it took a good 10 years of solid therapy and hard work to truly feel that I was no longer under my parents' control and that I could make my own life decisions.

 

I think we may be seeing pieces of breaking away with Jessa and jinger, at least I hope so. Jessa appears to be pretty tuned into her kids and it doesn't appear that they are doing blanket training. So I'm willing to give it a bit more time. It's very hard to disavow everything you've ever been told.

 

[Snarkylark]

Sorry to bring it up again but my labors were very easy. I was super young and scared with my first and opted for an epidural. My nurses knew I wanted to avoid an episiotomy so they massaged the perineum to help stretch it out before crowning. Small tear, more swelling after pushing for two hours. Sore, but bearable after delivery. No narcotics needed. About 10 hours total. Water broke at 9 pm, cx started about 1 am, pushing for two hours and baby born by 8 am. Second baby 2.5 years later, again water broke at 5 am before cx started around 8 or 9 am. No epidural, baby born shortly after noon and about two pushes. No tear. With both my next two deliveries I arrived at the hospital at 9-10 cm. I didn't fully realize I was in labor with each of them until transition! Each baby was born within 1-2 hours of getting to the hospital and a couple of pushes. Super easy:) I got pretty lucky as my labor pains felt like really strong period cramps. Intense and required relaxation but totally doable. I would have had more but 4 is a good number for us! Lol

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

37 minutes ago, cascarones said:

@So-Virgin-It-Hurts @karen77 - I know I'm missing someone, but we'll start here!

Sort of Seattle here, I just moved away for a new job, but the other half and kitty are still there while he job hunts here. The cat is holding it personally against him that I'm gone, so I feel loved and he's got cat sick in his shoes, which thankfully he's a good sport about. But....if any of you PNW folks can recommend good boarding vets, I'm open ears. We've never had to board her before, but will be gone for a week and the people we'd trust to check on and play with her have work trips scheduled as well.

Just like you tend to hear the horror birth stories, same sort of thing seems to be true for vets and he's getting anxious about leaving her  

I PMed you.

[LovelyLuna]

Healthcare fucking sucks here in ‘Merica.  I am SEVERLY lucky to have the coverage I have (and its kinda shitty). 

[KnittingOwl]

Another PNWer here - Bellevue. 

My labor was rough after 9 months of vomiting. Water broke and no regular contractions. 24 hours later, I was admitted and got pitocin. 9 hours later I was asking for an epidural, but it was too late because I was 9 cm. Pushed for almost 3 hours before DD was born with her giant head. I had tearing in both directions. 

Really hoping current pregnancy and labor are easier. Only 8 weeks in though. 

[Shadoewolf]

First wolfie was 37 weeks 3 days. 3 hours of labor then they broke my water, 2 hours later she arrived. Natural birth no drugs. 6lbs 13 oz,  21 inches long. 2 stitches for a tiny tear. Spent a week in the hospital for jaundice and had bad latch issues so she was a formula baby.

Second wolfie had me on bedrest from 18 weeks to 34 weeks. She arrived just over 35 weeks, water broke at home. Got an epidural at 7cm, within 3 minutes she was crowning. 7lb 7oz, 19 inches long. Labor start to finish was just over 4 hours. I love the epidural man, even though I only got it long enough to catch my breath. 2 stitches in the same spot as #1. Breastfed 3 months.

Third wolfie arrived just over 38 weeks. Doc stripped my membranes at my checkup, 10 min later my water broke as I walked into the parking lot. It was about noon. No pain no contractions so I didn't show up to L&D until about 3pm. Lots of walking and rocking on the ball but he wouldn't drop. Started Pitocin at 8pm, doubled it at 9pm which sent me into contractions so bad I was screaming and my son was having decels. I finally told them to turn it off or I would rip out my IV so they did. Got epidural (17 babies were born in 4 hours, I was on the waiting list for hours) at 8cm at 11:49pm, he was born at 11:53. Crowned with only a nurse, hubby and my MIL in the room. The nurse tried to tell me I wasn't feeling pressure, she had just checked me 2 minutes ago. Until she lifted the sheet and he was half out! My MIL held him in place and cleared his airway while the nurse ran down the hall to get the doc.   6lbs 13 oz, 21 inches long. Labor was almost 12 hours on the nose. No stitches just a scrape type abrasion the doc affectionately termed road rash because he came out so fast. Breastfed/pumped 7 months.

In my case, the epidurals helped me to relax just enough to finish dilation. And I advocate for whatever works best for the individual mom and baby when it comes to natural/epidural. 

[elliha]

My first was an induction due to being overdue by 17 (ended up being 18) days. Labor progressed slowly until they got the pitocin up quite high. They kept telling me I was in too much pain and that I should get an epidural but I didn't really feel much pain at all. One of the worst parts of the birth was that, that they refused to listen to what I was saying and kept telling me what I didn't feel. Anyway, towards the end it did start to be quite intense but the pain in itself I could handle quite well but I ended up using the gas to distract me a bit. Pushing was hard, my daughter didn't want to be pushed out either. After a while of me screaming I didn't want to push the midwife gently said that she wanted me to push despite not wanting to for my baby's sake and with the help of holding a rag I managed to push her out. I had second degree tearing, a tear to the front of the vagina as well and a tear to the cervix. It was stitched in the operating room due to bleeding to the frontal tear that was very serious. Despite not being a perfect birth I was so happy and I felt so strong, almost invincible so I was sad when I had nurse after nurse tell me that they were sad I had a bad experience and two doctors came and explained what happened to me and everyone kept telling me how I could get help to get over the trauma that I didn't feel. My main problem with my first birth was just that, that the staff just didn't seem to be able to interpret me correctly. I was sad about missing out on part of my daughter's first time too but seeing that it still went well with breastfeeding and all I got over that pretty quickly.

My second came on his own at 11 days overdue. I had a doctor's visit to make a decision about induction that morning. He was born at about 3 in the morning. We joked that my husband should go by the front desk and show him and ask if they thought he needed assistence to come out but we didn't do that. I first rested at home with my contractions and we got to the hospital around 10.30. I was open 4 cm and they offered me to take a bath. I stayed in there until I started having heart palpitations and we made a decision I would get out and we would monitor me and the baby in a bed instead. I was 9 cm when I got up and the midwife thought that the increased heart rate might have been from opening up so fast. The baby was fine but also had slightly increased heart rate but nothing concerning. After a while I decided to have some gas but it didn't work as well this time and I kept having a lot of pain from the contractions. I asked if there was something I could do and the midwife suggested I could get saline injections to the back which hurt but can actually give as good pain relief as an epidural. I felt that it was worth a try and it worked very well for me. I got to breathe for a little while with much less pain and then the pushing began. This time my body was OK with pushing and he came out quite easily. I never asked how long I pushed so I don't know how long it took but it didn't feel like that long. I had a second degree tear this time too but none of the other tearing. It didn't hurt much so I was very surprise it was as much as a second degree. The day after I walked home with my family and I was living a normal life in days more or less, the first time I had pain if I walked too far and the stitching took quite some time to disappear and before they disolved they were painful. Breastfeeding was easy and went extremely well. We are still breastfeeding at soon to be 1 year and since I breastfed his sister until she was just over 4 I expect to keep doing it for some time. 

Neither birth was a perfect dream birth for me but they were both powerful and happy experiences for me. There was pain and tearing and I have needed some blood transfusions too but birth can still be a positive experience. I think sometimes moms think that only the perfect home birth or that you get to pick your own due date and have a planned c-section can be perfectand a birth that just happens is bad but I don't think that is true. If there is a third I might go down the home birth route but I know that this is not something that I feel is required, just a bonus if it is possible.

About Jill I am not sure I think she is that hurt physically, I think she is just sad and disappointed she had to have another c-section. This also makes it much less likely she will ever have a vaginal birth as the risks go up after two c-sections. I think even Jill understands that and that is a lot to process. If she is not able to talk about that without crying or if she is feeling down I think that not being on social media is a good thing.

[MiddleAgedLady]

It won't be this week! 

[Iamtheway]

My 53 hours from water breaking to Miniway coming out had plenty of horrible moments but was still a mostly positive experience and I got three stitches and healed up pretty quickly. 

Six months ago I slipped on a tiny mug in the shower and landed on a watering can for children (always, always pick up your kids toys before showering people). There was so much pain and plenty of blood. I got two stitches and I could bearly sit for two months. My tail bone still hurts now. There was also lots of embarrassment and I didn't get an adorable baby in the end. Still have the watering can though. 

So in short: having a baby come out of your vagina is preferable to having a watering can coming in. 

[Kangaroo]

My body is all "Reproduce! Have a child!"

All your stories make my brain go "No child! Too much pain, too risky. No, no, THEY HAD TO STITCH WHERE?? no, no, no!!!"

You're the women who tell me things I didn't need to know but really needed to know. So thanks for that.

[backyard sylph]

My husband was raised Southern Baptist, and even learned some Greek and Hebrew to know the Bible better. He'd entertained thoughts of the ministry. I met him when we were both working for an evangelist; him in graphic design, me in data entry/random computer things no one else did. He was in a failing marriage at that time, one for which he'd done what I call Scripturemancy to get answers on the date of wedding and various other things.

When we married, I thought we were on the same route toward my old "talking to Jesus while sitting in a tree" path I'd taken shortly after First Communion, before my mom did her own wild search for the truth. But he suddenly unbound himself from the grips of whatever he thought was holding him back, and darted along one path and another, searching for his truth. I found mine when he studied kung fu and began learning the tao, but he drifted from that, as well.

Anyway, I'd say the searching began when he was around 25, but more secretly then, and at 31 he was busting the chains. At 35, he hated Christianity. Now at 52, he's mellowed, but very, very jaded. We are now like brother and sister, close to each other, but not wholly together. He goes through eating styles the way he once went through religions. Some people are like this. Me, I'm still into nature, the tao, and sometimes Jesus, because I like roots that stay alive beneath the Earth. And I eat "all things in moderation." Some people are like that.

This is why I can't fully give up on any of these young adults. They won't all find the exact same path, but some of them will find a better one.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, Kangaroo said:

My body is all "Reproduce! Have a child!"

All your stories make my brain go "No child! Too much pain, too risky. No, no, THEY HAD TO STITCH WHERE?? no, no, no!!!"

You're the women who tell me things I didn't need to know but really needed to know. So thanks for that.

Lol! Do whats best for you. If that's not having kids that's great. If it is that's great too - just work with a fully licensed professional (Midwife, Doctor, etc.) you trust and who has a good record and be sure you stay flexible on birth details.* I mean, my birth plan was literally just to carry to term and birth healthy spawn in the hospital. I still only managed to accomplish half of that. 

*(And by flexible I really just mean don't be so invested in a certain birth experience that you put your wellbeing or your child's wellbeing in danger. Make backup plans and be open to doing what's necessary to ensure you're both ok when it's all over. Having your dream birth experience means nothing if mom and/or baby aren't ok in the end.)

Other than that? Avoid asking Dr. Google too many questions - I found google was definitely not my friend during pregnancy.

[Henk12]

I just did my daily Duggar Instagram stalk and I'm still not seeing anything about the Dillard's. I know Jill had her hopes up for a vaginal birth but wish she knew that Csections are beautiful and wonderful too and that it's okay if she doesn't have a mega family. God loves people with no kids just as much as he loves people with 20. She can raise her two boys to be good men and they can do just as much good for the world. You don't need 20 kids to make a difference.

[CarrotCake]

Is Cathy Dillard still taking care of Israel? It looks like it from her latest tweet...

[SuhrEnity]

I was just about to say Cathy is still looking after Israel...

[meee]

I know I'm way behind but I've seen mention of Jill looking like she's had a stroke?  What do people see that indicates that?  She's using both of her hands in that picture, smiling...I'm no medical professional, but she looks okay to me especially after what seems like a pretty complicated birth.

[Exposedknees]

I did contribute to the labor and delivery horror stories on this thread. But now it's kind of a horrorshow!  I'm here to say after the first lengthy labor resulting in a csection, I was SO ready to do it again and did -had another bit of drama. As I said before childbirth is not for sissies- but the REWARD is worth it. 

Don't be scared. Kids are the greatest gift! ( in moderation, and with proper maternal/prenatal health care LOL)

[Greendoor]

7 hours ago, KnittingOwl said:

Another PNWer here - Bellevue. 

My labor was rough after 9 months of vomiting. Water broke and no regular contractions. 24 hours later, I was admitted and got pitocin. 9 hours later I was asking for an epidural, but it was too late because I was 9 cm. Pushed for almost 3 hours before DD was born with her giant head. I had tearing in both directions. 

Really hoping current pregnancy and labor are easier. Only 8 weeks in though. 

Man alive that's crazy.  I had my son: at  9.5 cms they gave me an epidural.  He ended up a c-section as I i never got to 10 and it had been hours. 

[VelociRapture]

49 minutes ago, meee said:

I know I'm way behind but I've seen mention of Jill looking like she's had a stroke?  What do people see that indicates that?  She's using both of her hands in that picture, smiling...I'm no medical professional, but she looks okay to me especially after what seems like a pretty complicated birth.

Personally, I think it's just another case of the speculation bus wildly careening off a cliff. 

[KelseyAnn]

If this was any Duggar BUT Jill I wouldn't be concerned. But c'mon. This is Jill, the biggest attention whore in existence save for my cat. 

[Carm_88]

1 hour ago, meee said:

I know I'm way behind but I've seen mention of Jill looking like she's had a stroke?  What do people see that indicates that?  She's using both of her hands in that picture, smiling...I'm no medical professional, but she looks okay to me especially after what seems like a pretty complicated birth.

I don't think she had a stroke. Blood loss seems most likely and I don't doubt that there were complications. I doubt there was a stroke or a hysterectomy but there is no doubt it was a long birth. 

[Henk12]

Oh I hope she didn't hemorrhage. I did after my last baby and it's been horrible. It ruined my milk supply and I'm constantly dizzy and exhausted since I'm anemic now. Poor Jill, I hope that's not the case.