Mother overreacts to her son's tattoo

[HarryPotterFan]

This news story is a few years old, but a friend recently shared it with me and I thought it was hilarious. A 21 year-old came home from college and told his parents he got a tattoo. His mom basically went into mourning. Even if you hate tattoos, this woman overreacted.

My Son's Tattoo Hurt Me Deeply

A few priceless excerpts:

Quote

“It’s just a tattoo,” he says, when the silence goes on so long that we have nearly fallen over the edge of it into a pit of black nothingness. “It’s not as if I came home and said I’d got someone pregnant.”

It seems to me, unhinged by shock, that this might have been the better option.

His father asks, “Does it hurt?”

“Yes,” I say, cutting across this male bonding. “It does. Very much.”

For three days, I can’t speak to my son. I can hardly bear to look at him. I decide this is rational. The last thing we need, I think, is an explosion of white-hot words that everyone carries around for the rest of their lives, engraved on their hearts. In any case, I’m not even sure what it is I want to say. In my mind’s eye I stand there, a bitter old woman with pursed lips wringing my black-gloved hands. He’s done the one thing that I’ve said for years, please don’t do this. It would really upset me if you did this. And now it’s happened. So there’s nothing left to say.

She'd be very good at being an emo kid.

Quote

So I cry instead. I have a lump in my throat that stops me from eating. I feel as if someone has died. I keep thinking of his skin, his precious skin, inked like a pig carcass.

 

Quote

It’s the permanence that makes me weep. As if the Joker had made face paints from acid.

Quote

On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, “Shall we talk?”

We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying instead. I say, “You couldn’t have done anything to hurt me more.”

So getting addicted to heroin or committing a violent crime wouldn't hurt her more? Good to know.

Quote

I say, “But you’re not. You’re different. I will never look at you in the same way again. It’s a visceral feeling. Maybe because I’m your mother. All those years of looking after your body – taking you to the dentist and making you drink milk and worrying about green leafy vegetables and sunscreen and cancer from mobile phones. And then you let some stranger inject ink under your skin. To me, it seems like self-mutilation. If you’d lost your arm in a car accident, I would have understood. I would have done everything to make you feel better. But this – this is desecration. And I hate it.”

I wonder how she'd react if he did self-harm. Would she be supportive and get him the help he needs, or would she cry over him scarring the precious body she created?

[littlemommy]

Jesus, that mom is a freaking screwball.

[Rubaiyat]

Whoa.  My brother and I have a relatively (for the "crowd" in which my parents have their - frankly wonderful - friends) impressive amount of ink. Add in my husband and you could by a decent used car for what we've paid out to various artists over the years.  

My beloved, sainted mother really sort of hates them, so we deal with it in the most mature fashion we can think of....constant, merciless, unabated mocking.  She says things like "did you see this velvet Elvis?  you could get that next?"  or " well, at least it's not a tiger with Dogs Of War tattooed across it, so you ARE using your degree"  (we actually have an aquaintance with that tat.).  And I, being the devoted perfect child, wait until she has friends over and loudly ask permission to join them since " I've covered my shame!"

she has much better zingers than that, but they're escaping me for the moment.   Please don't think she can't dish with the best of them!  Our family bonds through terrible humor, and only slightly mitigated harassment  

 

TL;DR  This poor woman is throwing away a priceless opportunity for family bonding.  Heh. 

[PumaLover]

Wow. Someone has issues. He's 21, an adult! Sometimes you have to let go.

Our parents don't like our tattoos or all my piercings but it's not up to them. We got everything as adults. I wonder if this lady has other kids or if her whole life is just wrapped up in this kid.

Love the Joker meme. That's perfect.

[mstee]

Holy moly that's over the top. I wonder if she's forgiven her son by now. If I were the kid I'd have a hard time not laughing and leaving the room after her speech. 

[samurai_sarah]

That is the point, where my mum would have told that mum to "pull yourself the eff together".

[SusanDelgado]

Talk about making something all about yourself!  I'd love to see her deal with a kid with an actual problem! 

[MarblesMom]

My kids all have tattoos.  And some piercings.  Not my cuppa, but they are adults making their own decisions.

I guess I have other things to obsess over, rather than making their decisions my life's work.

The article made me laugh and cringe.  Let's hope that mom finds a hobby, or a purpose for her season of life.

[CrazyLurkerLady]

She sounds extremely self-absorbed. How in the WORLD can she claim to be "hurt" by someone else's tattoo? Unless it said, "Fuck my mom" or something, I am just not getting the reaction. Reminds me of my mother, who firmly believes every decision I make is based around what will hurt her the most. Thankfully I caught her on a good day when she spotted my first tattoo! 

My parents hate tattoos and piercings. My mom actually freaked out twice when I got a simple ear cartilage piercing at 18 - once right after I got it and then again a few weeks later when she decided to pretend she had never seen it before so she could freak out again (yes, I know it makes no sense) and even she didn't have that much of a meltdown over my first tattoo. My dad has seen my back piece. He thinks they're ugly and I'm an idiot for getting it, but also gives zero fucks since it doesn't affect him in any way. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

I am in my early 30's and I also dislike tattoos. That being said, I think the mom might need therapy to deal with the anxiety and extreme sadness her adult son's decisions are causing her. A tattoo shouldn't make her feel like someone died. Or if it does, there is something deeper going on. 

[Jucifer]

When I was a SDA kid, tattoos and ear piercings weren't allowed.  I sometimes wish my ears were pierced, I love jewelry.

I collect 20th century jewelry, mostly 50s and 60s rhinestone stuff.  The earrings from that time were mostly the clip type, so that's perfect for me.

Every once in a while I think about getting my ears pierced, but after cancer treatment I don't want anyone approaching me with a needle ever again.

I don't hate tattoos but I would never get one.  They're for life and I have commitment issues... and when I think about what I was into even a few years ago... I'm glad it's not permanently on my body. 

[MissKnowItAll]

Woooooow. Holy over reaction, Batman! 

I often wonder how people that over react about small things manage to live a somewhat normal life. There are far worse things that can and do happen in life, and a tattoo sends her into a downward spiral, the type not seen since Princess Diana died. Has she been so sheltered and lucky that she has not faced any challenges thus far? Or was the post just for sympathy and likes? SMH.

[Blahblah]

I reckon it's all about education. I've told my kids that tattoos are something that I personally would never get but once they are adults they need to decide for themselves.

We've had discussions about how tastes change with age. Jeez I was in my 20's during the mid-late 80s. Can you imagine what crap I could possibly have ended up with?

 I've made them watch those tattoo fix up shows on tv. I've asked them to look at old people with tattoos to see how they look after a few years.

After all that, if they choose to get inked when they are older, I hope they do their research. Pick an ageless design. Pick a skilled artist. Pick something that will be relevant for always, not just for a few weeks. 

But yeah, that lady is nuts.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

Please tell me it's satire! It's so ridiculously over the top and carefully written with lots of punctuation and adjectives that it reads like one of those bad romances that would be all about introspection but that really are more dull selfcenteredness. 

Who the fuck writes like this?

"But by deciding to have a tattoo, my son took a meat cleaver to my apron strings[...] The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.

I am redundant."

[Glasgowghirl]

Talk about over reaction, if he was under 18 I would understand her being angry but even then she would still have to get over it. Both my dad and my sister's boyfriend tattooed themselves with Indian ink as teenagers, Dad later got them covered up. He always said to us if you want a tattoo make sure you know what you want and pay for a decent tattoo artist to do it. 

I hope this mother calms down and realises it's not the end of the world and her son is an adult he can make his own decisions without her agreeing to them. 

[Jucifer]

My dad was a doctor.  Every once in a while he had a patient with a tattoo.  They would always ask him if he knew how they could get it removed.

I watched the first couple of seasons of the Kat Von D show and I really like her work.  She grew up SDA like me.  I'm not surprised she turned out the way she did.  

The tattooed guy's mom needs therapy.

[Dugg@rTime]

10 hours ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

 

Who the fuck writes like this?

" The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.

I am redundant."

The quote is from a poem, Funeral Blues by W H Auden. It appears Her High-horsedness is comparing this stupid tattoo issue she has with her son dying. Well fuck me, I'm sure all the bereaved parents would be happy to have their kids back complete with very visible tattoos, never mind a small bicep one that can be covered with a tshirt sleeve. Selfish cow!

[laPapessaGiovanna]

Exactly! To me this is so OTT that it can't be a person musing about her real life experience but it must be a style exercise complete with poem's quotation.

Not even our worst control obsessed patriarchs talk like that about their offsprings. They are more subtle in affirming their ownership over their quiver. At least they shroud it in concern over their children's salvation or whatever excuse they can come up with.

[Palimpsest]

28 minutes ago, Dugg@rTime said:

The quote is from a poem, Funeral Blues by W H Auden.

Yes, "Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone."  Famously quoted in Four Weddings and a Funeral.  I expect that is where she got it from.

Holy over-reaction, tattooed adult man's mom.

I see tattoos as a valid art form and think many are beautiful. 

I'll never get one though.  I think they look terrible on the stretched out wrinkled skin of geriatrics.  Yes, you can preserve them with re-tattooing for a long time but after a certain age people seem to just stop bothering.

[samurai_sarah]

Not my body, not my call. Personally, that's all I need to know about someone else's ink.

[mango_fandango]

I read this and got pissed off at the woman. He. Is. An. ADULT. She has NO say in what he does.

[mstee]

Maybe it's the first decision he's made without her. Unfortunately I'm being serious. She sounds like she probably has been quite the overbearing mother. The reality probably set in for her that her "baby" is going to do things without asking her. I can sympathize to an extent, but not this extent. 

I have a tattoo that I don't like. Got it when I turned 18. Its on my hip area. My underwear covers it. No one really sees it. I forgot it's even there half the time. I may do something with it once I'm done having kids and it looks like a blob. My parents aren't tattoo fans but I once asked my mom what she thought about me getting it removed and she was like "that's silly. It's tiny and you don't even see it. Don't waste your money", and so it has remained. 

[nomoxian]

Quote

I keep thinking of his skin, his precious skin, inked like a pig carcass.

His skin. Not her skin. Not her body. Not her choice.

[jozina]

Quote

 If you’d lost your arm in a car accident, I would have understood. 

Oh how tender and adorable. "I know you've been permanently disfigured by a terrible wreck and will live with the consequences forever Sonny Boy, but your dear mother understands!  It's okay! Let that soothe your soul!"

And Sweet and Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, if ever a mother's reaction could make their child feel like they needed to take a meat cleaver to apron strings THAT would be it.

[FundieFarmer]

I was going to say, perhaps he WANTS to tear up those apron strings. I was sure ready to when the time came. My mother's most repeated line was "You're doing this just to spite me!" (direct quote), no matter what I was doing. Going out with friends, gaining weight, taking a college class she didn't like...that old gem came out. Eventually I learned to laugh at it-and my friends did too- but man, it gets tiring after a while.

Poor kid. I feel for him.