Jana's Future 5 - The More Things Seem to Change...

[GutenbergGirl]

Long time reader, first time poster, too!  

We also had a cat named Moo...  actually, Smokey, but my youngest (Kid#3) couldn't say it, called him Moo, and it stuck.  

He was the least bitchy cat, ever, though.  So much so that aforementioned kid would try to pull his tail, whack him (trying to pet... Kid#3 was just barely sitting up, doing that 'no hand coordination, so just whack at it' thing babies do), etc.   Moo would swat at him, but never with his claws out.  

(My kids are kinda Duggar-spaced:

Kid#1 was 2 years, 7 months when Kid#2 was born.  Kid#2 was 11 months old when Kid#3 was born.  There is 3.5 years between my oldest and youngest.

 As much as I would have liked to watch all three constantly, it just wasn't feasible with 3 under 4.)

Moo passed away about 9 years ago, and I still miss him!  Anyway...I just thought it was kinda funny... all these Moo Cats!!

[Snowless]

On 10/15/2017 at 11:02 PM, CatchThatCow said:

Jana is smart to wait for the right person and not get married just for the sake of being married. It has to be hard on her because she’s expressed her desire to marry and have a family. You can marry a kind, loving person but if there’s no spark, no shared interests...not good. So I admire her resolve. I just wish she had the freedom to pursue other things while she waits. Besides gardening. And no chaperone.

I always feel a little sad for her because her worth as a person within their group is tied directly to her marital status and whether or not she’s had children.  In the normal world, being a single woman at her age is not unusual anymore and not frowned upon.  I’m 30 and still single (never been in a relationship, haven’t been on a date in 12 years; I identify as a humanist atheist and practice no religion, so it’s really just a case of “I haven’t met any guys worth dating yet”) and am only just now feeling content with my life.  My mother married late, too (she married my dad when she was 33 and he was 26), and her worth wasn’t tied to her marital status, either.  She moved out on her own right after high school (her father was a very strict military man, served about 20 years in the Coast Guard), was working right out of high school, and was living pretty independently before she met my dad.

I admire that Jana isn’t settling for the first man who comes along, and I sincerely hope she’ll be able to find the love she’s looking for and deserves.  But what if she gets into her late 30s or early 40s and she still doesn’t marry?  Her parents can’t hover over her like that forever.  Perhaps some people just aren’t meant to marry, for one reason or another.  I know I’ve had to consider the possibility that love, marriage, and kids may not be in the cards for me.  Love is not a given in this life.  Marriage and parenthood are not givens in this life, either.  All of those things can be expected, but it doesn’t mean those things will happen to everybody.  Have her parents ever even considered that this may be a possibility for Jana?  I don’t think they have, because their cult places so much value on marriage, and they seem to expect it to happen to everybody.  

A positive thing to this is that she’s had the chance to explore different interests that she probably wouldn’t have had the time or energy to do if she was married with a quiver full of kids.  This is a girl who could make some money for herself by selling her vegetables at a farmer’s market or set up her own business as a seamstress (she could even run it out of the family home if she wanted to) making and altering clothing that she could even cater to within her own community.  I see a bit of myself in her personality (fundie religious beliefs and culture notwithstanding), a girl who knows what she wants in life, but for some reason or another is not able to go straight for it.  But I know she can make things happen.  She’s got it in her, she just has to be brave enough to do it.  And she knows what she’s looking for in a potential husband...she’s not settling for anything less than what she feels she deserves.

At some point, she deserves to have some more independence as a woman, but of course the patriarchy won’t give that to her.  And that’s what saddens me the most.

[haroldtheyrefundies]

I just came up with this theory so bare with me if it has any holes in it. So when the Duggars first put in the buddy system Jana was 14 at the time and was taking care of the house and her buddies. I've been thinking that since Jana was that age when she started to take care of everything that that is when they're to make Johannah the main sister-mom at around that same age and care for any of the little kids that are left so that way Jana doesn't have to worry about the younger kids not being taken cared of. I also think that Josiah will be the next to court, but since Joe was the last one to get married I wouldn't be surprised if John David married next since he's the next boy up from Joe. I think we'll have a new courtship by the end of the year, and then after the courting couple is married early 2018 we'll have the last courtship/wedding for a while (also in 2018) until in a few years Jana is finally able to be in a courtship. 

[singsingsing]

@haroldtheyrefundies So your theory is that Jana won't court until Johannah is about 14 and able to take on most of the responsibilities of caring for the younger kids? That's an interesting idea. My personal opinion is that Jana's parents aren't actually preventing her from leaving home, but I could see Jana herself, consciously or not, wanting to wait until Johannah can take on more of her responsibilities. The problem is that the clock is ticking for Jana, so to speak, when it comes to finding a good fundie man to marry - if that's what she wants. So waiting another two or three years might actually be 'dangerous' for her chances, in that sense.

I think it's going to be really interesting to see how the dynamic changes as the Duggar kids grow up and there are no 'littles' left to care for. They'll be replaced by grandkids, but even if the grandkids are regularly dropped off at the TTH, it still won't be the same as the old sister mom / buddy system. By the time Johannah's 14, Josie will already be 9. The youngest girls will never be sister moms, unless they're actually sent to live with some of their older siblings who have kids - which is definitely not an impossibility.

[Coconut Flan]

I think Jana was closer to 7 than 14 when the buddy system came into being though.

[SassyPants]

I think Jana saw enough in her time and perhaps she has decided that is not what she wants in life. Maybe Jana connected the dots and saw how having soooooooo many kids affected the quality of parenting within her parent's home. Maybe Jana believes that some of the ugliness that occurred might not have happened if her parents had had fewer children and a better rein on the activities within their home. Maybe Jana is avoiding all that chaos and dysfunction in the only way that she knows how, and still remain a compliant daughter. This is what I want to believe.

[Gillyweed]

Some people, no matter how much they want to, just end up not getting married.  Jana could be one of those people. (And she could eventually get married, just pointing out that it might never happen for reasons beyond her control)

[AnnaRuk09]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

The problem is that the clock is ticking for Jana, so to speak, when it comes to finding a good fundie man to marry - if that's what she wants. So waiting another two or three years might actually be 'dangerous' for her chances, in that sense.

Interesting. What do you mean she’s running out of time? 

I as well admire her for not settling for the first or second or fifth one that comes along until she finally KNOWS to the fullest capacity that she has found her soulmate. Lots of theories out there, some of them pretty stupid and baseless IMO, but I think it’s very simple: she simply hasn’t met the one for her. I support her waiting until she comes across that “the one” who will give her the love and cherishing she’s been waiting for and desired her whole life. 

Jana has said herself that she wants a husband and wants to be married and have a family. I’m not sure why people think otherwise. 

[singsingsing]

11 minutes ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

Interesting. What do you mean she’s running out of time?

I'm referring purely to fundie culture. Unfortunately fundies are incredibly regressive. Young marriage is idolized. "Older" fundie women can and do find spouses all the time, but it does get harder. And fundie men are encouraged to marry very early as well, so the older these women get, the more likely it is that most of the 'quality' men have already found a spouse. I definitely wouldn't say she's running out of time, just that the older she gets, the more limited her options become.

[Audrey2]

@singsingsing, I can see where you are coming from. After all, Jana's friend, Tabatha Paine, who lived with the Duggars for awhile,  married a real documented creep. (See thread in Quiver Full of Snark for more info.)

In the real world this isn't a big deal, but the Fundies live in Fundiland.

[Audrey2]

Too late to edit, but let me clarify my last sentence- in the real world, being single and in your late twenties or older isn't a big deal, but being single at that age is much more difficult in Fundiland. I was not referring to dating a creep, which would be problematic for anyone at any age.

[SilverBeach]

On 10/5/2017 at 8:53 PM, Bugaboo said:

This wasn't in an episode. It was discussed in the girls book. (I got a free copy of the audio book from Audible) and I listen at work sometimes to have something entertaining to listen to and silently snark about)

Yeah it was. I saw it. One of the few times I have had sympathy for a Duggar. Jana was clearly upset, it was a real parenting fail. Boob and Mechelle really are the worst.

[Chickenbutt]

If Laura is in the house to care for the children, then I suspect she is in the room with the children so that if she is needed at night, she can handle whatever the problem is and Jim Bob and Michelle will not be bothered by crying, upset, nightmare having kids. 

[singsingsing]

Realistically, if Laura is sleeping in the girls' room it's most likely for accountability reasons. There are teenage boys and men in that house. They can't have a young woman sleeping alone in her own room, as that could lead to shenanigans.

[Shadoewolf]

Someone commented on Pickles that Laura moved out very recently but not sure if true or why. 

[Jenn The Heathen]

If Jim Boob and Mechelle were my example of a “happy” marriage, I would stay single, too.

[ariel9]

How long has Laura been taking on Duggar responsibilities and if so have they increased from the time she began to handle Duggar business?  I know she has been with them for a while however this is our first formal introduction. I say this because I was scrolling through a the Counting on thread after catching up on episodes. I noticed like another user that Jana was glued to her cell during the campfire scene. Probable math: Phone + Jslave= courtship (at least a special friend).I know phones can contact anyone and be used for a lot of stuff. However, if you're already with your best friend and your already at the destination with most use for a list...If Laura or anyone else has been taking on an increased number of Jana's responsibility maybe things are changing for Jana. Courting girls had less responsibility in the house not absolute freedom from responsibility so it's possible for Jana to still contribute to the household.

[Buzzard]

I think Jana will be sold married off in 2018.  She's getting older, and she needs to start producing holy babeez for Jesus  Jim Bob so he can reach his goal of eleventy trillion grandbabeez. It doesnt look good to withhold blessings from her by keeping her locked in the castle.

I'm not really sure what's up with Laura but its interesting.  My guess is that she will eventually take the last name "duggar" but I'm not sure which one she'll be paired with.  Its possible JD, and then Jana and JD can have a gross twin wedding for TLC to film.

[singsingsing]

I think Laura is too old for any of the Duggar guys except JD, and I feel like if something were going on there it would've happened already, but who knows.

I wonder if Jana might end up married soon if only because she's the only Duggar daughter of marriageable age left. All eligible fundie bachelors who interact with the family now will be seeing only one single daughter: Jana. She'll get 100% of the focus of anyone eyeing the family for marriage prospects. 

[AnnaRuk09]

@ariel9 What campfire scene from what episode? Someone correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t believe Jana was on her phone during the campfire scene during A&J’s party episode. It was talked about on here how she was on her phone during the river scene but she was taking a video of people jumping as she herself revealed in the episode. 

[ariel9]

Yes Austin and Joy. It was a quick pan shot.

[Carm_88]

I feel that Jana leaving the kids unsupervised with JB and Michelle is similar to other people leaving their kids with teens. They need a lot of reminders to actually do what they're supposed to!  

[AnnaRuk09]

44 minutes ago, ariel9 said:

Yes Austin and Joy. It was a quick pan shot.

She said in the episode that she was taking video of people jumping into the river. She wasn’t taking a selfie or texting anywhere else in the episode except for that river scene. 

[SamiKatz]

1 hour ago, Buzzard said:

I think Jana will be sold married off in 2018.  She's getting older, and she needs to start producing holy babeez for Jesus  Jim Bob so he can reach his goal of eleventy trillion grandbabeez. It doesnt look good to withhold blessings from her by keeping her locked in the castle.

I'm not really sure what's up with Laura but its interesting.  My guess is that she will eventually take the last name "duggar" but I'm not sure which one she'll be paired with.  Its possible JD, and then Jana and JD can have a gross twin wedding for TLC to film.

They could one up the Bowers/Bontrager double weddings!  Of course, they would need another sibling to get married the next day, so one of the boys is going to have to step up.

[ariel9]

The weddings are getting closer and closer so why not at the same time?