Counting On: Season Four Part 3

[Coconut Flan]

Continuing from here:

 

[Carm_88]

I wouldn't find anything wrong with general indecisiveness. Some people are people pleasers or prefer to have someone else make the decision. When you talk the Duggars, you always have to wonder if it's just indecisiveness or if it's an indication of a controlling nature. We don't know who Austin is yet, but his dad had a very controlling attitude on the Strictest Parents episode. So it's normal to discuss this because Austin is a relatively unknown fundie. 

[Pasta]

I have a question for everyone. It's a change of topic.  So far, will you sing just the end up with a young boy who had a crush on her, Jill end up with a guy who her daddy chose for her basically, Jinger end up with a guy who basically sought her out, and joy who ended up with a guy she basically her up with. Do these sound familiar to you or are these odd meetups?

[Fluffy14]

16 minutes ago, Pasta said:

I have a question for everyone. It's a change of topic.  So far, will you sing just the end up with a young boy who had a crush on her, Jill end up with a guy who her daddy chose for her basically, Jinger end up with a guy who basically sought her out, and joy who ended up with a guy she basically her up with. Do these sound familiar to you or are these odd meetups?

Jeremy was a chance meeting with Ben and Jessa who the introduced Jeremy to Jinger. Derick persued Jimbob  as a mentor but we don't know his intentions towards the girls. Jimbob basically set up Derick and Jill. And Ben just saw her and persued her I guess.

[Million Children For Jesus]

7 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

We don't know who Austin is yet, but his dad had a very controlling attitude on the Strictest Parents episode. So it's normal to discuss this because Austin is a relatively unknown fundie. 

Exactly. I'll be the first to admit I expected the worst from Austin based on his dad's behavior. I might have been looking for signs that he was "just like his dad." It's hard to get an objective take on who Austin actually is because any sign of self-control or introverted behavior is going to come off as a red flag that he's going to be rigid like his dad, even if that's not entirely true, and certainly not fair. The guy can't even have an opinion or fake one. He said, "braid," and the alarm bells went off that he's a control freak, like his dad. He might have been thinking, "Why do I even have to be included in this decision? I better answer, any answer, so she doesn't think I'm insensitive. Quick. Think. Braid." 

I tried to get my ex to help me choose paint colors. He played along for a bit and then broke drown and admitted he didn't give two shits, but didn't want to upset me. (I was ecstatic not to include him. He had terrible taste.) My ex was a very assertive guy, and yet he struggled to tell me he didn't care about paint colors. (I'm not scary.) Austin is just a kid with a new bride he wants to please. "Braid" was probably just a fast out. 

[Million Children For Jesus]

5 hours ago, Pasta said:

Do these sound familiar to you or are these odd meetups?

I think each of the girls genuinely adored each of their husbands prior to getting married. Jeremy and Austin fell into the mix naturally. (So did Anna and Kendra.) Derick and Ben might have had some stalker level stuff going on, but personality wise, they all make sense as couples.

Flighty Jill who likes princess stories finds flighty missionary and together they romanticize adult life and international mission work like two characters in a teen novel. Snarky, self-righteous, conceited Jessa finds Catholic hater Ben who thinks she's hot and together they will bond over vanity and shared superiority complexes. Quirky, relatively free-spirited, and talented photographer Jinger, finds relatively free-spirited, talented soccer player who once drank alcohol, has a tattoo, and advocates for wearing pants. Sporty tomboy Joy, who has close to zero decision making ability, finds an outdoorsy guy who conveniently comes from a family that doesn't let anyone make their own decisions. 

Adding Anna into the mix, the highly internally conflicted Josh, forever struggling to appear Fundy perfect to please his family, finds a textbook perfect Fundy wife, who was supposed to cure his internal conflict with their outward perfect Fundyness.... but that didn't happen.

[Buzzard]

I dont know that any of them have the ability to select a true life partner.  They have no real life experience, or any idea of what life is.  They've never really seen outside of their fish bowl.

As far as we know they have all jumped on the first fundie that showed real interest in them.  The weird thing in all of this is that Jana and JD are the single ones and they are the oldest.  Either they've had some chances to turn people down or theyre being held hostage for some reason we dont know.

[MoonFace]

Did anyone else notice that Joy's skirt was just at the top of her knee cap?   Seems that all of the girls are wearing shorter skirts. 

 

[TheDuggarnaut]

I have to admit, I've harbored a bit of fear for Joy based on what a scary creep Austin's dad is. I truly shudder to think of what his upbringing was like. His initial comment to Booba that he likes what a taskmaster she can be didn't help, either. Then, seeing the wedding and how emotional he got, and he really didn't try to force an opinion on her about the braid, reassured me that hopefully he will treat her well 

Just seeing the scenes with Austin's dad made me want to run to my room and hide.

[TuringMachine]

5 hours ago, Buzzard said:

I dont know that any of them have the ability to select a true life partner.  They have no real life experience, or any idea of what life is.  They've never really seen outside of their fish bowl.

As far as we know they have all jumped on the first fundie that showed real interest in them.  The weird thing in all of this is that Jana and JD are the single ones and they are the oldest.  Either they've had some chances to turn people down or theyre being held hostage for some reason we dont know.

My biggest fear for the Duggar kids is that one of them will end up in an abusive relationship.
When I was 19 I was dating a guy, well I don't really want to get into details about it so lets just say he was a real jerk. Like everything was more important than me, and everything that was wrong was my fault. The thing is though, if you had asked 19 year old me I would have told you he was sweet and our relationship was great. It was my first love so some of the things I ignored and some I just didn't have the experience to know it was wrong. In fact, I didn't realize how bad things were until I had a healthy relationship some time later.
The Duggars aren't allowed to have relationship experience, so there's they don't know how to recognize an unhealthy relationship when they see one. There's also the fact that they're never alone with them. Even though Benessa were able to have private conversations it's not enough. You need to be able to see someone when they're alone and angry, frustrated, and/or sad.
That's my opinion anyway.

[Million Children For Jesus]

6 hours ago, Buzzard said:

I dont know that any of them have the ability to select a true life partner.  They have no real life experience, or any idea of what life is.  They've never really seen outside of their fish bowl.

As far as we know they have all jumped on the first fundie that showed real interest in them.  The weird thing in all of this is that Jana and JD are the single ones and they are the oldest.  Either they've had some chances to turn people down or theyre being held hostage for some reason we dont know.

I think not seeing outside of their fish bowl will help them be tolerant and accepting, especially in the bedroom. Ignorance is bliss, the saying goes.

I would venture a guess that many young men were interested in the girls, but dealing with Jim Bob would be a deal breaker for most sane people. 

My theory on Jana is emotionally unavailable and that hinders being able to connect with someone. She's not going to connect with anyone, unless maybe he has mild autism. I'm not being facetious. I know plenty of adults with autism who date non-spectrum people, and frequently those people are emotionally catatonic "lost children," like Jana. I don't think she's, "just shy." I think she's shut down from the inside. She doesn't give or receive any emotion. Who would be okay with that? Answer: Someone who doesn't read social cues. 

[Antipatriarch]

34 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

When I was 19 I was dating a guy, well I don't really want to get into details about it so lets just say he was a real jerk. Like everything was more important than me, and everything that was wrong was my fault. The thing is though, if you had asked 19 year old me I would have told you he was sweet and our relationship was great. It was my first love so some of the things I ignored and some I just didn't have the experience to know it was wrong. In fact, I didn't realize how bad things were until I had a healthy relationship some time later.

This! My first relationship (as an 18-year-old H.S. senior) wasn't abusive, but as the months went on I gradually became unhappy for reasons I couldn't put my finger on. And I kept second-guessing myself... nobody's perfect; am I being too picky? It wasn't until I broke it off and was clear of the relationship that I realized what was going on... subtle and sometimes emotionally manipulative attempts to change me.

Two relationships later (and after being married for a while), it was clear that first relationship would have made for a miserable marriage. But if I had been a Duggar, and had no basis for comparison, and limited opportunities to get to know the real person, I don't think I would have realized what was going on until it was too late.

Dating is not "practice for divorce"... it is an essential part of figuring out who you are, and who you will and won't be compatible with.

[Million Children For Jesus]

40 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

if you had asked 19 year old me I would have told you he was sweet and our relationship was great. It was my first love so some of the things I ignored and some I just didn't have the experience to know it was wrong. In fact, I didn't realize how bad things were until I had a healthy relationship some time later.

This kind of thing is part of what I was thinking when I wrote that their lack of experience would help them be tolerant, which isn't necessarily a good thing. It can be very dangerous, too. I can't even fathom the crap I tolerated when I was young and didn't know any better. Yet, absolutely, I had a bumper-sticker-wisdom level of perspective, "we have ups and downs," or "everything worth having is worth working for." Blah. 

[veron1que]

7 hours ago, Buzzard said:

As far as we know they have all jumped on the first fundie that showed real interest in them.  The weird thing in all of this is that Jana and JD are the single ones and they are the oldest.  Either they've had some chances to turn people down or theyre being held hostage for some reason we dont know.

I think it's been mentioned that the girls have had offers but have turned them down (this was in the pre-marriage era) when they would talk about courtships for the girls.

Im not going to say all of them have turned down tons of men, but the Duggar girls are pretty and offering to be a submissive wife. I'm sure lots of fun dudes have approached Jimbob and the girls said 'No'

id be interested to know if the girls have had any crushes that were rejected by boob

[Exposedknees]

1 hour ago, TuringMachine said:

My biggest fear for the Duggar kids is that one of them will end up in an abusive relationship.
 

I feel like they grew up in an abusive relationship with their own family, which didn't give them any tools to see abusive situations at all. Marrying quickly  serves 2 purposes....satisfying the fundie upbringing wifey manifesto and perceived "freedom." Prior to marriage they were subjected to "Pearl training", unpaid labor, and sexual abuse by their older brother. These women are sitting ducks for abuse.

With that said, 2 of the sisters do seem to have bettered their fundidom situation. Jessa seems happy and loving being a mom. She shares instagram pictures of herself with others her age in social situations.She has a social life beyond siblings!

Jinger also seems like she is relishing the freedom she has. She left and cleft. I have no doubt they're soaked in the koolaid but a few more flavors are available to them.☺

Jill has never been my favorite. Her dream of missioning and midwifery or whatever the heck she thought she would be doing hasn't manifested at all. Sad Jill.

Joy and Austen's journey has just started. She's really crushing on Austen now. We'll see how it works out. 

It's going to be interesting to see how Kendra fits in. Although fundie, her parents don't seem as oppressive as the Duggars. How will she fit? Is Joe strong enough to micro manage and headship her?

[Buzzard]

I'm kind of annoyed that the half hour episodes we were tortured with last season are now an hour again. The duggar creep is getting dangerous, but atleast there are no new advertisers.

Tonight we are treated to spurgeon's first birthday, which is also the anniversary of our lord Rufus, right?

[Carm_88]

28 minutes ago, Buzzard said:

Tonight we are treated to spurgeon's first birthday, which is also the anniversary of our lord Rufus, right?

It is! One year since he rose again! Praise him!  

[Carm_88]

Are we going to see Sierra?  

[nst]

someone is practicing birth control

 

[Carm_88]

Staring a family in the next five years? Intriguing!  

[SuhrEnity]

Omg Jeremy just said they'd like to start having a family in the next 5 years. His one year plan had no mention of babies at all!!!!

There is definitely some form of birth control going on. 

[bella8050]

Please oh please let Jeremy be telling the truth - kids in the 5 year picture but not mentioned in the plan for the next year?

[HarryPotterFan]

I want a talking head of Spurgeon talking about Rufus! He may have a limited vocabulary because he's a toddler, but it would be far more enlightening than anything any of those adults have to say. Plus it would be adorable.

[nst]

not only do I want a TH of Spurge and Izzy - 

Jessa went on and on about adopting and fostering tonight 

[Buzzard]

Counting on - Happy birthday spurgeon, I mean ALL HAIL RUFUS - part 1

We open in Laredo.  JInger drinks coffee and says she's "adjusting." Theyre going to go shopping for groceries and start to make a list.  JInger is going to make enchiladas, but theyre not healthy.... so they'll make fajitas.

Jessa TH - I miss jinger and I want to visit but they need time.  Its harder on us with her gone and I dont know if she feels it yet because newlywed.

Jinger is in a store and the signs are in spanish.  She ccant read it so she says she needs to learn.  Jeremy gets excited about 5 pounds of mozerella.  He wants to shred it and buys the whole thing.  Jinger looks at spices while jeremy continues to fondle the cheese.

 

They buy meat and tortillas.  

Producer asks her if she brought any habits with her.  She says she'd never buy one apple. 

Back at the apt jeremy decides to work out while she cooks.  He moves the piano bench and wants to sit on it but she says no, it may break.  He takes weights and starts to lift them over his head.  He does a floor workout and she watches with a smirk.

Fajitas are ready.  She cant find the shredder for the 5 pounds of cheese.  He whips out a peeler and says she should use that.  They slice the cheese. 

Jinger says its interesting sitting down to a quiet dinner.  They pray over the food and she remembers the kids running around.  

Jeremy - in a year we'll be settled down, serving the lord in laredo.  We'll start a family sometime in the next 5 ears and we'll see what the lord does.

In Arkansas Anna and the littles arrive at Jessa's house.   They're going to prep and talk about a consignment sale. Jill walks in wtih izzy.  

Jessa explains what a consignment sale is and why its so great.  They make ink prints of the kids feet.  Anna says "the midwife definitely would know how to get a footprint" as jill does it.  SHES NOT A MIDWIFE.

They measure the kids and Jill puts Izzy down in the bedroom - the bed isnt made.

The kids run everywhere and jessa thinks "one day this can be us."  She says its hard to carry spurge because hes cuddly and shes 7 months pregnant. 

Jessa talks about how they'll have to get another house soon, especially with their desire to adopt.  Bin cant lip a house so he'll have to hire her brothers.

Jessa and Jill want to look for maternity clothes becaue Jill is prego too (duh).  Jill hopes the sickness will pass soon.