Jinjer: Throwing Shade since April 9, 2017

[Antipatriarch]

9 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

As far as I remember the story references a man in the Old Testament. His brother died and left a widow. The customs at the time dictated that his brother marry his widowed sister-in-law - however, any children they had would be considered the brother's children (not sure why.) The man was angry about it and pulled out, "spilling his seed" on the ground rather than impregnate the widow. God struck him down for not obeying him - not because he masturbated, as many Christians (Fundie or not) would have you believe.

Correct; this is the story of Onan from Genesis 38:8-10. And you're right... many Chrisitans totally miss the point when they preach from this text.

This is also the origin of "onanism" which is a euphemism for masturbation or coitus interruptus. You can still find old anti-homosexuality laws on the books in some states that use the word "onanism" to label the offense.

The More You Know™

[HereticHick]

9 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

As far as I remember the story references a man in the Old Testament. His brother died and left a widow. The customs at the time dictated that his brother marry his widowed sister-in-law - however, any children they had would be considered the brother's children (not sure why.) The man was angry about it and pulled out, "spilling his seed" on the ground rather than impregnate the widow. God struck him down for not obeying him - not because he masturbated, as many Christians (Fundie or not) would have you believe.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+38:8-10

[MadeItOut]

Can't explain my brain, but just thought of another inclusion for the fantasy reading list for Jinger: as well as the Red Tent, she should also try 240 Bible quotes every Pagan should know - great book, with a lot to offer anyone genuinely interested in faith, belief, and why nothing healthy ever comes of playing religious and cultural toptrumps with anyone else.

[Queen]

On 14 juni 2017 at 0:00 AM, lomo6 said:

Basically, you can't win as a woman with wavy/curly hair (and probably as a woman in general). Even if you straighten it to achieve a more "polished" look, plenty will comment on how you're frying your hair.

Exactly! I have wavy hair too, it's also very thick, and grew up in a place where almost everybody else had straight, thin hair that's so much easier to keep neat. My hair looks like a hot mess compared to theirs, no matter how much I brush it. There was a time where I used to straighten it and I myself felt pretty good as a result; my hair finally looked neat and cared for! But everybody else were just like "where did your curls go?"  

My girlfriend, who has wonderful, shiny, straight hair but would much rather have curly, always tells me how the notion of what is considered neat and well-kept hair (Nordic straight) is racist. She is very right, but I still tend to like my hair better when it's straight. Less hair flying around!  

[HarleyQuinn]

I straightened my hair for years because my mom told me my natural wave made me look like "my hair needed to be brushed" Then I had children, found out I liked sleep, and stopped getting up early to straighten. I like my waves, and fuck her hair brush comment.  

[Carm_88]

My hair is naturally "wavy" which I consider means "looks like shit if I don't straighten it." So I straighten my hair all the time. 

[mpheels]

I have hair that walks a fine line between wavy and curly. I'm lazy and refuse to straighten it myself. I get a blowout every eight weeks when I have it cut, otherwise it's air dry every day (unless it's super cold out, then I hit it with a defuser on low heat, to speed things along). I've been rocking more or less the same hair since 11th grade (1998) - between should and chin length with layers. For me, it's fool proof. I can air dry and it looks pretty good. Once I switched to sulfate and silicon free shampoo/conditioner and reduced my shampoos to 2-3 times/week (I rinse and condition on non-shampoo days), I was able to stop using styling products all together. I also embraced the frizz on humid days - it is what it is, and no amount of product or styling will make it something else.

[viii]

On June 18, 2017 at 9:08 PM, Exjw2015deed said:

Not to make assumptions, but does anyone know how fundies respond to post partum depression. I know Scientology tell you to go jog, but has any fundie mother ever express it? I hope that they do not return after the second child is born, but them keep asking for donations says it all.

From my personal experience, post partum means you're not trusting Jesus enough. Medication in general (antidepressants, anti anxiety etc) simply mean your faith isn't strong enough. 

[HarryPotterFan]

My hair is wavy and has a mind of its own. When I wake up in the morning I tend to look like medusa. I have no control over having good hair days, so I typically pull my hair back.

[xlurker]

My hair is this straight and at a certain length stringy.  Became a hairdresser looking for the answer   No amount of product, curling /blowdrying will help it look good for more than 10 minutes!  This morning couldnt get it to look even slightly presentable....so I took out scissors and razor and chopped away!  Not perfect, but short choppy hair is ok, air dry and a bit of product and I am now good to go!

[HarleyQuinn]

I know you're not supposed to wash your hair every day, but my hair feels gross if I don't. If I skip a wash, my hair is pulled up. I can't style it. 

On the wavy scale, I tend to be 2B, but if I run a brush through it, I lose it. I scrunch, air dry, and go.

[SapphireSlytherin]

12 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

On the wavy scale, I tend to be 2B, but if I run a brush through it, I lose it. I scrunch, air dry, and go.

Same. I'm borderline 2B/2C. If I air dry without touching my hair it looks fine. Otherwise, it's a hot frizzy mess. I only shampoo ever three or four days though, but my hair is dry as a bone (and colored, so...).

[BadMammaJana]

37 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

On the wavy scale, I tend to be 2B, but if I run a brush through it, I lose it. I scrunch, air dry, and go.

 My daughter is 2A. I have super straight hair and don't know how to handle her hair so its always in pigtails. When its down like the 2A model, it just looks like I didn't brush her hair. I wash her hair every other day at most and use conditioning spray when I brush her hair if its a non hair wash day. I'm probably going to have a hard time if we move somewhere with real humidity. 

[Daisy0322]

5 minutes ago, BadMammaJana said:

 My daughter is 2A. I have super straight hair and don't know how to handle her hair so its always in pigtails. When its down like the 2A model, it just looks like I didn't brush her hair. I wash her hair every other day at most and use conditioning spray when I brush her hair if its a non hair wash day. I'm probably going to have a hard time if we move somewhere with real humidity. 

My hair is like that, best to not brush it just comb it while in the shower with some hydrating conditioner. Also I use curling mouse and put it in while damp and scrunch. It's low maintenance once you get the hang of it  provided her hair reacts the same as mine. occasionally there's bad hair days but normally solved by putting it half back or all the way up. 

[OldFadedStar]

I have a combination between 2a and 2b hair. I only wash my hair 2-3 times a week. If it gets gross dry shampoo and a ponytail come to the rescue. 

For everyday styling though I typically just braid my hair the night before and shake it out. My hairs tendency to be wavy helps the waves from the braid to stick all day. 

ETA: After I wash my hair, I use the Its a 10 product and brush the tangles out then let it air dry.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

 According to the hair guide on that Naturally Curly website, I'm a 3A. Sometimes I'll blow dry it with a round brush, or use a large barrel curling iron on it to make it less curly, but I've pretty much given up on trying to make it completely straight (at the first signs of humidity it goes wavy, and I live on the west coast). My current favorite way to maintain my curls is to pincurl my hair (think 1930s/40s, Rosie the Riveter). It looks cute while the curls are in, and keeps them out of the way, then when I let the curls out it's voluminous and a nice shape.

I hardly ever wash my hair (shampoo is too harsh), just rinse and conditioner for the most part. A pick comb is my styling implement of choice. On occasion I'll twist my hair into Bantu knots if it want to create a more extreme curl texture.

 

[HarryPotterFan]

3 hours ago, OldFadedStar said:

I have a combination between 2a and 2b hair. I only wash my hair 2-3 times a week. If it gets gross dry shampoo and a ponytail come to the rescue. 

I just tried to find dry shampoo, since I want to experiment with not having to wash my hair everyday (if I don't it gets oily) and all the dry shampoo I can find is volumizing. That's super not helpful. Volume zing hair products make my hair go POOF

[closetcagebaby]

41 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I just tried to find dry shampoo, since I want to experiment with not having to wash my hair everyday (if I don't it gets oily) and all the dry shampoo I can find is volumizing. That's super not helpful. Volume zing hair products make my hair go POOF

Honestly I've tried dry shampoo from $5-$50 and the best are pretty cheap....Psssst! brand and Batiste. A lot of them will advertise as volumizing, but as long as you don't load your roots up with it, you should be fine!

[Casserole]

47 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I just tried to find dry shampoo, since I want to experiment with not having to wash my hair everyday (if I don't it gets oily) and all the dry shampoo I can find is volumizing. That's super not helpful. Volume zing hair products make my hair go POOF

I am allergic to perfumes and most dry shampoos are loaded with horrible scents because they assume oily hair = not showering in weeks and dirty apparently.

Best dry shampoo:

1. Go to grocery store.

2. Buy corn starch.

3. Add a drop or two of essential oil if you want to get really fancy. 

4. Sprinkle in hair.

5. Rub into roots/scalp.

6. Let sit.

7. Shake/brush out. 

 

You're welcome. (Baby powder does work, but the scent thing again)

[punkiepie]

When I got out of fundiedom, the first guy I dated was inarguably worse than anyone I had ever been with before, he was just more sly about it. I didn't realize how much worse he was until later- like a frog in a boiling pot of water. But I have curly hair- 2b/2c, and I have a ton of it. It was pretty long then and I just had a bunch of hair that took well over an hour to straighten.  Well, he decided my hair looked best straight- it started off like, "oh I love your hair like that, you should do it more often" (when I'd wear it straight) and then became more of a "you look much better with it straight" and then finally "did something happen? Why is your hair curly today?"  So in my recent departure of fundie life and thinking I had found someone who was great, I started wearing my hair straight everyday.  We were together for awhile until I saw the light, but the damage was done to my hair.

All of that straightening to my long, thick coarse hair had supremely fucked it up.  My curls were different, the texture was like straw; it was gross. It took years for the damaged hair to grow out and now I'm back to normal, but the big takeaway for me, besides don't let a dude tell you how to fix your hair, was don't fuck with curly hair. Or a curly haired girl. 

[PennySycamore]

I'm probably a 3A on the Andre Walker/Naturally Curly scale and either a Botticelli or Cherub in Lorraine Massey's Curly Girl Handbook definitions of curl type.  (Lorraine founded the DevaChan salon and the DevaCurl line of products for us curly-haired people.   Lorraine sold her interest in Deva a few years ago though.)  I've not used a brush or comb on my hair since I read Lorraine's book.  Both tend to break up your curl pattern and cause frizziness.  Some naturally curly folks do like either a pick or Denman brush though.  I  condition cleanse most every morning followed by conditioner, leave-in condish, and styling products which at the moment are DevaCurl SuperCream and Miss Jessie's Quick Curls.  The same products do not work for everyone and you just have to try stuff out.  Knowing your porosity may or may not be a help in determining what products will work best; e.g., does your hair need protein in your products or do you need to avoid them.

[MadeItOut]

10 hours ago, Casserole said:

I am allergic to perfumes and most dry shampoos are loaded with horrible scents because they assume oily hair = not showering in weeks and dirty apparently.

Best dry shampoo:

1. Go to grocery store.

2. Buy corn starch.

3. Add a drop or two of essential oil if you want to get really fancy. 

4. Sprinkle in hair.

5. Rub into roots/scalp.

6. Let sit.

7. Shake/brush out. 

 

You're welcome. (Baby powder does work, but the scent thing again)

Thank you. I'm gonna try this as I got a horrific rash from the Batiste product. They were great with it initially (except claiming that no-one could be allergic to it, which is downright nuts). They sent a very detailed questionnaire, let me email photos, and sent proper sample bags etc for the product. They also promised my money back. 

I never heard any more.

[CyborgKin]

On 23/06/2017 at 3:41 AM, HereticHick said:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+38:8-10

Asking my dad about that passage when I was a kid was how I got The Talk.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

Batiste Dry Shampoo changed my life. I have thin and oily hair that was suffering from having to be washed every day as to not look dirty. If I use dry shampoo, I can go two days without washing in summer, three in winter. 

[Baaaaaabe]

@Casserole I have asthma and allergies and eczema and can't do hardly any scented products.  Not your mother's unscented dry shampoo doesn't give me any problems. It seems like you've got another solution, but I know how hard it can be to find products so I wanted to share in case it's helpful.