Anna, Josh, & the Ever Multiplying M Kids, Part 11: His Cheating Heart

[crazysnark]

David Waller put up video footage of all the Kellers surprising Mrs Keller including Josh. Daniel seems to be hurt. He was walking with a cane and his wife was not there. I do not know if they divorced or not. Rebecca seems to have married a man who is old enough to be her grandfather. I thought he was a relative but they were paired together and in the pic he had his arm placed on her stomach. She is also sporting  very new shiny ring on her finger. The whole thing was pretty awkward. 

[MadeItOut]

1 hour ago, crazysnark said:

 

Not as a baptist. 

Damn. Good point. - they do have pilgrims though, don't they? Perhaps a nice, long walk around the holy land...

 

Every Anglican monk I ever met so far was a butter to a lesser or greater extent. Perhaps a change of denomination...

[doubleT]

33 minutes ago, crazysnark said:

David Waller put up video footage of all the Kellers surprising Mrs Keller including Josh. Daniel seems to be hurt. He was walking with a cane and his wife was not there. I do not know if they divorced or not. Rebecca seems to have married a man who is old enough to be her grandfather. I thought he was a relative but they were paired together and in the pic he had his arm placed on her stomach. She is also sporting  very new shiny ring on her finger. The whole thing was pretty awkward. 

Holy moly ... did you see the private jet they flew in on?  Rebecca must have married very well. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

I think Anna is well and truly stuck. I've walked in at least one of her shoes, so I possibly sorta/kinda "get" what she's thinking.

I had a five-year-old and two cats, with an unfaithful/pathological liar husband. I fretted for over a YEAR before I had the nerve to tell him to get out. 

Differences:  I had a college education, a job, a house in my (and his - he quitclaimed it to me) name, a car, a supportive family less than two miles away, and only ONE child.

I can't even imagine how in the world she'd support herself and five children, even with child support and spousal support. She'd have to work, but daycare would be horrendously expensive for four (assuming the oldest goes to school - not the SOTDRT).

[SilverBeach]

I'm sure Anna probably feels stuck, but not so much for practical as religious reasons. Leaving douche would be like leaving God, in her mind. She will need some serious deprogramming to get out. 

[Jana814]

10 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I'm sure Anna probably feels stuck, but not so much for practical as religious reasons. Leaving douche would be like leaving God, in her mind. She will need some serious deprogramming to get out. 

She treats him like a g-d because I'm sure he expects her too. He has been treated as one his entire life by his parents and siblings. He was probably confused when he worked in DC that his co-workers did not treat him like one. 

[crazysnark]

50 minutes ago, doubleT said:

Holy moly ... did you see the private jet they flew in on?  Rebecca must have married very well. 

I don't know if you are being sarcastic or not but no I did not see a private jet  

 

oh I see where you are talking about after looking at their blog. He must have some money. I just hope she married him for more than that. :/

[neurogirl]

Going back to the pictures of Marcus' birthday, Josh looks thinner there. Still has some extra weight, but that previous picture (time with the Kellers I think?) was either REALLY unflattering, or Josh is doing something to get more in shape. He doesn't seem as unhappy as other FJ-ers feared/hoped he would be. 

I think HE is still delusional, and is trying to be the same revered oldest son he was during 17kac, but the big bad world and satan's fortress keep cock-blocking him!

[Snarkylark]

Anna will never leave him. Remember the conversation she had on 19k&c about how she was so thankful Joshua took out the trash and how she doesn't know how single moms do it? (Paraphrased)

i believe the only way she would ever leave him (she won't) is if she meets a man she's attracted to who treats her well and shows her what a real man is whe she's still with Josh. Maybe that would get her wheels turning. Of course, she probably wouldn't entertain any of those thoughts anyway.... Must be content at all times. I just don't get how she can stay when she has a "God-approved" out, one of the few "acceptable" reasons for divorce according to the Bible. But let's be real, she wouldn't even be able to hire a divorce lawyer or be able to support herself. 

[doubleT]

2 hours ago, crazysnark said:

I don't know if you are being sarcastic or not but no I did not see a private jet  

 

oh I see where you are talking about after looking at their blog. He must have some money. I just hope she married him for more than that. :/

Yes, on David and Priscilla's blog there is a picture of the air transportation (= nice jet) that Rebecca had arranged for them to take to Florida. 

[Jana814]

The problem is their is no way that Anna could be able to support herself and her kids if she was to leave Josh.  Sure their are orginzations that might be able to help for a little bit they may not be able to help in the long term. 

[TuringMachine]

Well Anna looks like she's showing. Definitely not due too soon. Maybe September-ish?

[SilverBeach]

16 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

The problem is their is no way that Anna could be able to support herself and her kids if she was to leave Josh.  Sure their are orginzations that might be able to help for a little bit they may not be able to help in the long term. 

Josh would still be financially responsible, its called alimony and child support, until those kids are 18. Leaving his ass doesn't take him off the hook moneywise. Anna could eventually work too, lots of working moms, I was one.

[season of life]

I think Anna served as a distraction for him. Maybe he didn't love her, but she was there to "service his needs" and trusting of him. Had they both grown up in normal households, I think they would have found other partners.

[nvmbr02]

10 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

Well Anna looks like she's showing. Definitely not due too soon. Maybe September-ish?

I was thinking end of July to mid August going off of the pictures from Joy's wedding. It can be really hard to tell though, since every woman and every pregnancy is different. 

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

10 hours ago, MadeItOut said:

Initially with him, though shortly after his father begged for a visitation claiming he couldn't wait until court. I didn't want to be one of those parents who weaponise their children, so I agreed. He absconded with him. That's how I come to know that "possession is 9/10 of the law" applies in families' court too.

When he did return, he produced 28 'witnesses' from our church community to speak to our characters. They made him out a godly, upstanding man, dealing with a dishonest (as in not totally the proverbs wife - things like having shouted at him when caught him out cheating with one of his girlfriends) and difficult wife. My having instigated the divorce, called the police when he was late back with my son, applied for a preventative steps order etc was presented as unstable and flaky. My job (then actor and dancer - the latter in an interfaith group) was trotted out as essentially prostitution and proof of dishonesty (that was challenged by my guy and their side halfheartedly rebuked).

I have two more surviving children (3 from 16 surviving in total across both marriages) from my second marriage - there's that indoctrinated wife/mother = life purpose thing again. Due to my disabilities they are in a very supportive adoptive situation and thriving. The judge who dealt with that was at least good enough to see that theory are forever protected from both men.

I cannot begin to imagine what kind of hardship you've been through in your life. I admire your power and strength. I hope each of your children will find happiness in their life, in a way that makes you happy too.
Thank you for willing to let me in in your story a bit.

[MadeItOut]

Thank you.

It really isn't strong or brave or anything though. I truly believe that everyone who's able to must talk openly and honesty. Otherwise the only ones the world is easy for is the abusers, not the survivors and that's part of how they get away with it.

 

[VelociRapture]

Just some thoughts based off several posts regarding Anna across the Forum:

As @SilverBeachpointed out, Josh would likely be required to financially help out because they have children together. It may not be a lot or as much as she's used to, but it'd be a start. 

I think the biggest roadblock at this point is the fact that she either doesn't want to leave or she doesn't fully understand that she could leave without being a horrible sinner in the eyes of God. She and Josh were both raised in this abusive cult and were both taught that you have to constantly toe the line in order to reach salvation. I think that type of teaching is extremely damaging and the longer you're exposed to it the more likely you are to believe it because you've invested so much time - kind of like Scientologists who ignore their doubts because they've invested so much money and time reaching higher levels of their cult.

I don't doubt that her in-laws and husband might pull shady shit to keep her around. But at this point, I don't think that's what's really going on. I think Anna is choosing to stay willingly or out of fear for her soul and the souls of her children and husband. 

That said, whether she knows it or not and whether or not she wants it - she does have a choice and she does have options. Likely more so than many Fundie women in similar situations. She has family who are willing to help, the public eye to help keep the Duggars accountable, and a legal right to financial assistance from Josh for their children. Basically, she's in  tough situation, but not in the worst position she could be in.

Staying at this point appears to be what Anna wants and that is her right. She's an adult who is more than capable of making her own decisions. It's just exceptionally sad that in choosing to do so, she is morphing from being strictly a victim of abuse to both victim and perpetrator of abuse - her choice to stay keeps her innocent children in this dangerous cult and there's just no excuse for that.

So, to sum up - I do have sympathy for Anna because she did not choose to be born into this life and I do think she was genuinely duped into thinking Josh was a redeemed man when they married. I also seriously doubt she was actually told the full story of what Josh did to his victims. And of course I have nothing but sympathy if it turns out that she's being forced or coerced to stay.  

But my sympathy is severely limited once innocent children are involved and someone is willingly choosing to stay in an abusive lifestyle. I do believe this is likely what's happening here, but I obviously can't know for sure. So I'll just continue being a somewhat confused mess about this situation.

[SapphireSlytherin]

17 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

she does have options. Likely more so than many Fundie women in similar situations. She has family who are willing to help, the public eye to help keep the Duggars accountable, and a legal right to financial assistance from Josh for their children.

I can just about 100% guarantee you, that if she did leave a gofundme account set up on her and her children's behalf would be wildly successful.

[FeministShrew]

I understand the mental gymnastics you have to go through in Anna's situation. Devastated that the Good Christian man you trusted & married has made a complete fool of you, wanting to leave but yet terrified because you don't see how you can, worried what everyone else is thinking & saying, humiliated in front of the world (in Anna's case, literally the world). Knowing you did everything you were supposed to do for a Happy Christian Marriage, but it didn't work. Does God hate you? Are you being punished? If this didn't work, is everything else you've been taught a lie, too?

Desperate to show everyone you are fine, desperate to "glorify God" through the situation. desperate & willing to do anything to win back his love, or at least appear to be the perfect Happy Christian Family again, because anything else is unbearable & unthinkable.  

Anna is still relatively young. She may grow & change & begin to resent Josh & her parents and his parents, and she might find that she's had enough & find the courage to leave. I didn't divorce my kids' dad until I was in my late 30s. I only had a GED, but I put my kids in public school & an afterschool program, got financial aid & went back to school for an associate degree that would allow me to get a good job fast. It won't be easy for Anna, but she also has a bit of fame that she can use to her advantage (tell-all interviews for a quick buck, gofundme, & I bet producers would line up for an "Anna on her own" reality show), and she could make it happen if she wanted to.

Or, she could be like several of my old church friends who were in similar situations. I know they were as lost & miserable as me, because they told me. But they chose to put on a happy face, keep sweet, and bury those feelings. They saw that I was shunned and gossipped about, and they cut me off, too. Today, looking at their FB pages, you'd think they are the happiest women on earth, but they really chose to remain in hellish marriages rather than risk losing their church friends (that's what happens when you are completely enmeshed with one group of people, whether they are blood family or church family).

After all, as my ex always told me, "Your happiness is not important. Being in God's will is all that matters." No, thanks. I'm happier than I've ever been.

Now, after all that, I have to comment on the book Ma Keller was reading to the little Waller's; Jesus Wants All of Me. I seriously think my ex's mom gave my kids a copy of that, & I know there was one in the church nursery.
Jesus needs to learn the concept of personal boundaries.

And Anna's shirt: BLESSED with glittery baby feet. For some reason it makes me want to cry.

[GracieLou Free Duggar]

15 hours ago, crazysnark said:

oh I see where you are talking about after looking at their blog. He must have some money. I just hope she married him for more than that. :/

Do you have a blog address for them?

Got the blog entry on Davidlovespriscilla. Thanks!

 

[SuhrEnity]

Did you notice how everyone but Josh got the back rub after the hug from mama Keller? I wonder how it is to look at him knowing what he put your daughter through

[Chewing Gum]

43 minutes ago, SuhrEnity said:

Did you notice how everyone but Josh got the back rub after the hug from mama Keller? I wonder how it is to look at him knowing what he put your daughter through

They don't have a right to feel upset imo, they're the ones that set her up to be hurt in the first place. I do wonder how "catching up on everything that happened the last few years" went at the dinner table but I'm evil like that 

[SilverBeach]

Statutory child support in my state starts at 20% of the father's income for one child, and goes up from there.

Fathers can also be ordered to provide health insurance under their employers' plan, as applicable. 

Anna is entitled to a lot more than she likely thinks she is. Speaking from personal experience.

[Pretzel]

It's interesting to see all the Keller children back together and no shunning going on. They all seemed pretty chipper so I don't doubt that the parents/kids get along (again). I'm curious about Daniel and why he's been without Candice and Brighton. I hope it was just due to logistics and not something like a divorce etc. You can never know with these people. 

Ma Keller did hug Josh, just not as heartfelt as she hugged the others. Marcus was on Josh's arms, however, so it could've been just due to that. I wouldn't bet money on her being angry at him. They knew what he did, and if they're angry then only b/c Joshley Madison, not because he molested his sisters when they were children. 

Btw, I think it's interesting that the Pecans have always met and spent time and shared photos of getting together with all Keller siblings, fundie or not. Candice and Daniel seemed to meet up with them quite frequently in the past and the Pecans weren't obvious (as in, on the internet) douches when Suze had a child 'out of wedlock' and broke free from fundamentalism. I'm sure they think as good Christians they have a positive influence on the escapees, but they could have chosen not to mingle with them but did anyway. I don't know, I think the Pecans are dorky but hopefully they just enjoy being around family no matter their stand on Gothard/fundamentalism.