Dillards 30 - Lawsuit Tweets and Leaving Danger America

[jcanglin991]

2 hours ago, jcanglin991 said:

So, in my previous post I said my maiden name was a male last name, it's actually a male first name. Not a big deal but its bugging me and I can't figure out how to edit the original post.  Sorry for being anal.

 

[BackseatMom]

11 hours ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

In relation to the above: maybe it's just me, and maybe I'm just being overly cranky, but I've never understood the whole hyphenating last names business. To me, it just seems very pretentious & overly snobby.

I realize, of course, that not all folks that do hyphenating last names/using parentheses for their last names are jerky aholes, but a lot of them are

What a weird thing to be so judgemental about. People do a lot of things for a lot of reasons, and this seems really harsh for no reason.

[MargaretElliott]

I think it really depends on the person (and name) in question. I would have kept my maiden name with my ex, because his last name was German, with about a million letters and sounded kind of like some rather... unfortunate words (he got teased nonstop for his name as a kid). I recently started seeing a fellow with a lovely Gaelic last name, and I'd have no problem changing my name to that, theoretically. So I really think it depends on the names involved, and what would make life easiest for you and your partner.

[wotdancer]

I kept my maiden name as my second middle name, partly because I like having that tie to my family of origin, and partly because I work in higher education and my degrees are in my maiden name. So at work I'm Jane Smith, but my full email signature has Jane B. Doe Smith...but if and when I get a job at another place I'll probably do Jane B. D. Smith.

I swear it's not as complicated as it seems by my description haha, and I really like the combination of my 4 initials.

[sansan]

On 5/21/2017 at 5:09 PM, luv2laugh said:

They're going to come home losing the suit and it will be thrown out of court. I can see them all building cabins on the Duggar compound.

Maybe Jill filed the lawsuit and she assumes it will take a long time to settle it. She will need to be nearby for the lawyer meetings, depositions and trial. She hopes that Derick will tire of waiting to go back so he either gets a real job or goes it alone with Jill staying here with the two children. And all of y'all thought Jill was dumb.

[motelmum]

I changed my name when I married, didn't bother me to do so at all. My SIL chose to keep her maiden name when she married.

With the hyphenation of last names I worry for the kids. If I had done this it would show as  Mrs(first name) motelmum-moteldad does that mean my youngest would be (first name) motelmum-moteldad and then his spouse would be (first name) parent1lastname-parten2lastname-motelmum-moteldad? 

Yes I know this wouldn't really happen  but it's fun to think of how the family tree would look after 5 generations of this on both spouses side...lol.. 

[klabourdeth]

I kept my maiden name. At some point I thought it was silly that a women was expected give up their identity name wise if they got married and why shouldn't the husband & wife name be combined. This is my main reason for keeping my name. Although I also kept it out of vanity because my husband name is a bit harder to pronounce upon site unlike mine in which I share with a popular SNL star. We did toy with the idea of creating our own my suggestion was McDeth

[GoddessOfVictory]

When my great uncle married late in life, his wife thought about hyphenating her name with his until she realized her last name would be that of a popular beer. She dropped that idea quick (though I thought it was rather funny).

 

1 hour ago, motelmum said:

With the hyphenation of last names I worry for the kids. If I had done this it would show as  Mrs(first name) motelmum-moteldad does that mean my youngest would be (first name) motelmum-moteldad and then his spouse would be (first name) parent1lastname-parten2lastname-motelmum-moteldad? 

Yes I know this wouldn't really happen  but it's fun to think of how the family tree would look after 5 generations of this on both spouses side...lol.. 

I talked about this same thing in another thread. If two people who have grown up with hyphenated names end up getting married, what last name(s) do they give their children?? All four names? Just the dad's or mom's names? Pick one name from each side of the family? Just one name? Create a whole new name?

And if they don't use all four names then what was the point of hyphenating in the first place if it only lasts one to two generations before getting dropped? I'm genuinely curious to know what people would do in this situation (though I'm sure it would be different for everyone).

 

As for me, I'd change my last name in a heartbeat if my hypothetical future husband's last name was better or neutral compared to my own.

[Berty K]

48 minutes ago, GoddessOfVictory said:

If two people who have grown up with hyphenated names end up getting married, what last name(s) do they give their children??

I remember reading about a culture where the women always pass on the maternal last name and the men the paternal. 

Ex: Suzie Smith and Jim Johnson have Sally & John.

Sally Smith-Johnson marries Bob Baxter. Their kids are Timmy & Sarah Smith-Baxter. 

John Smith-Johnson marries Jane Doe. Their kids are Jake & Jamie Doe-Johnson

and it continues. 

[Chewing Gum]

Funny how different it is everywhere. Here (Holland) you can keep your own, take your spouses or hyphenate when you get married. If you have kids you have to give them either dad or mum's name, not sure about the hyphenate version. But any kids born in that marriage must have the same last name. So choose wisely with your first . 

[wikinggirl]

When my parents divorced my mom took her maiden name back, and my brother and I decided to change it as well. It's a rare last name, it's only my mother's family who has it in Norway, so it felt more special having that last name instead of a more common last name (and my dad is a jerk) 

For a while I had four names, First name, two middle names (including my dad's last name) and my new middle name. I got rid of my dads and fixed my mom's spelling mistake from my birth. She wanted to name me after her grandmother who passed two days after I was born so she gave me the middle name Christine. But my great grandmother spelled it Kristine... So i fixed it. Good thing it doesn't cost anything to change names here! (looking at you Kelly Bates!)

[Melissa1977]

In Spain, married people don't change their surnames.

Kids are tradicionally named this way: NAME-DAD SURNAME-MOM SURNAME. But since 15-20 years ago, parents can choose the surnames order, so kid can be named NAME-MOM SURNAME-DAD SURNAME.

I suppose that changing my surname when I got married would had somehow hurt my identity. I mean, I was born Melissa Freejinger Forum, and this has been my name for 40 years. If I marry, how could I change it? specially nowadays that marriage doesn't last forever. 

No offense please. I know it's a cultural issue. As I'm not used to people changing surnames. Of course I'm aware it's normal in most countries and people feel confortable with this tradition, and I respect that.

[VelociRapture]

@Melissa1977It is very much a cultural thing. I think the tradition you described is a really lovely way to honor both sides of the family. 

For us, it just made sense to change my name. Husband was already well-established in a professional career and I wasn't. I left my job a month after our wedding and won't be going back until our daughter is in school full time (or second child, if we have one.) It was important to us both that we all have the same name - so we went with husband's.

We did choose a first and middle name for our daughter that specifically honored my side of the family though. The names were ones we both really liked, husband suggested the order we went with, and we both agreed it was only fair since she would have his last name.

[Carm_88]

I never really thought about the whole name change, I always thought that I would change my name if I did get married. If I should marry and change my name, I'm not changing who I am as a person. Carm Maiden Name will be the same person as Carm Married Name. I'm not in a profession where I need name recognition, so generally it doesn't feel the same for me. Now perhaps that comes down to knowing that my last name is surviving through my cousins. I'm going to make sure if I should get married and have kids that they will know where my family name comes from. 

I also carry two middle names honouring my paternal and maternal grandmothers, so I guess I can see using family names like that as well.  

[NotQuiteMotY]

20 hours ago, SuchABlessing said:

Folks, we all know Derek and Jill probably at least considered taking her name as a last name. Why leave the brand when you can add to it?

But- but that would mean that the female is above the male! She's not under his dominion! What next? Equal rights? Don't you know that's like cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria?!

[HarleyQuinn]

lol no way a man takes a woman's last name in the patriarchy. 

[Georgiana]

2 hours ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

But- but that would mean that the female is above the male! She's not under his dominion! What next? Equal rights? Don't you know that's like cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria?!

My dog submits to the feline headships just fine.  One is actually VERY fond of her.  

But I guess that's the sort of sinful depravity you would expect in the home of a SINGLE FEMALE who LIVES ALONE and even has the audacity to OWN the property she lives in!  It's like I think I'm people or something!

[FundieCentral]

I am also in a pickle. 

Due to Mr. Fundiecentral and me being from two different countries with two entirely different naming laws and speaking 3 languages with each other in two different alphabets, naming will be a nightmare. Whatever you guys are going through - it's harmless. Once we have kids, in addition to all the above, we will have to think about which religious tradition to follow as well (different for both of us). In short: it's stressing me out already and we're not even engaged. 

[tehfanglyfish]

I'm in the U.S. I kept my name and my husband kept his. If we were ever to spawn offspring (which looks less likely as the years pass), the plan we have is to give our kid a completely different last name because both of our families of origin have TONS of baggage that no new human should be bogged down with. And yeah, we'd all three have different last names but at this point due to assorted marriages, divorces, etc., none of the relatives I'm in contact with have the same last name as me and the same is true for my husband. If we went out with parental units, siblings, and nieces/nephews, there would be at least 7 last names to give for the restaurant wait list 

[onekidanddone]

I kept my last name when I married.  I was in my late 40s and my last name is part of my identity and it is a connection to my dad who died several years before I got hitched. My daughter was nine when we married, and  made it clear she didn't want to changer he name.  Her name was already changed when I adopted her, and I saw no reason not to honor her wish.  

[General Jinjur]

I kept my last name when I got married. I thought about hyphenating, but my headship and I both have unusual German names, and hyphenating would've produced a crazy uber-German mess. When people ask why I didn't change my name, I tell them that I didn't want to learn how to spell his.

The Dillwads are the absolute worst. (Except for Josh, who's in a league of his own.) I occasionally think that I should feel sympathy for Jill, but then I remember how awful she is. 

[VineHeart137]

Speaking of...

 

[NakedKnees]

19 hours ago, BackseatMom said:

What a weird thing to be so judgemental about. People do a lot of things for a lot of reasons, and this seems really harsh for no reason.

Agreed. I'm unmarried and have a hyphenated last name, which was an accident. I was supposed to have two separate last names as is my parents' cultural tradition (Chilean), but whoever filled out my birth certificate threw a dash in there. The hyphen is pretty normal in my generation in the US, especially among kids born to unmarried parents. I tried to use my name without the dash for most of my childhood, but everyone would just slice off the second last name, leaving me with a comically common Firstname Fathersname combo. So yeah, being judgmental about this is pretty rude from my perspective. 

I'm not going to change my last name if I get married, but I've only come around to the idea of maybe getting married recently so that probably plays a role. Mr. Knees' name is Firstname Hisfatherssurname and mine is Firstname Myfatherssurname-Mymotherssurname, and any kids we have will hopefully be Firstname Hisfatherssurname Myfatherssurname. Still patriarchal, but you get an extra generation out of mothers' names  Mr. Knees' child from his previous marriage was named the same way. I really like identity it imparts in kids.

I also really like all these ways to write about naming conventions in anonymous terms hahahaha.

[Four is Enough]

Michelle is wearing an apron. Who is she kidding? She doesn't cook!!

 

And WHY is she a "sweet mama" and NOT "my darling daughter?"

[Hmmm_idolatry]

If I didn't know better, I'd say that judging by her eyes, Michelle is high as a kite in that picture.  

Their overuse of the word "sweet" for women and children makes me stabby.  Learn some more adjectives, morons.