Dillards 30 - Lawsuit Tweets and Leaving Danger America

[candygirl200413]

Just today me and my mom were at the post office and when she wrote her name and our address she used my last name even though officially she hyphenated her maiden and our family last name. She really likes her middle name and didn't want her last name to become her middle in addition to her own last name being 5 letters.

I'm fine with whatever the couple in question want to know name wise, I knew a few kids families from school who just decided to get a new last name for both parents. I personally am going to keep my last name (my twin brother is the only male who is carrying our name) in addition to hopefully in the next seven years end with a PhD.

[VineHeart137]

I dropped my maiden name. I considered hyphenating but I already have two middle names that I'm quite attached to, so hyphenating would have just made my name way too long for my liking. I've never regretted it. I say whatever works for you and your family is perfect.

[nomoxian]

 

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I thought it was de rigeur, according to Emily Post, to have one's name be First Maiden Married after marriage, dropping the middle name. No hyphens, no parentheses, etc.

Of course, the sky's the limit now. I've even known some couples to adopt a completely different for both last name.

That is so cool! I've never heard of that before, but it sounds like a nice way to celebrate two people coming together into one new relationship and honor that special connection.

When I got married my partner and I discussed doing the hyphenated name thing, but we haven't changed it legally because it costs money and we have other priorities (and wants)

[SuchABlessing]

Folks, we all know Derek and Jill probably at least considered taking her name as a last name. Why leave the brand when you can add to it?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I couldn't wait to change my name when I 1st married, I think if I were bride today I might consider having my future husband take MY name. We are the end of my father's family line, his name will die with my brother, unless his daughter chooses to keep her maiden name, which I can't see happening with as conservative as my brother & sister in law are.  DH talked about doing it a few years ago, he is 1 of five boys and our last name is up there in the common factor with the Smiths & the Jones , but our kids didn't wan to, they thought it would be strange so we never bothered.   My maiden name is quite uncommon so you don't see a lot of us anywhere really.  

[PennySycamore]

4 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I thought it was de rigeur, according to Emily Post, to have one's name be First Maiden Married after marriage, dropping the middle name. No hyphens, no parentheses, etc.

Of course, the sky's the limit now. I've even known some couples to adopt a completely different for both last name.

Back in the old days,  it was considered proper for a divorced woman to call herself Mrs Maiden Last Name Married Last Name, e.g. Anna would be Mrs Keller Duggar.  I don't think that has been the practice for about 50 or 60 years though and only in certain classes of society.

ETA:  My example is merely wishful thinking.

[nokidsmom]

I considered hyphenating my name when I got married but in the end took my husband's name.    Decided to keep it simple and furthermore, when I thought about it, I realized that I really didn't like my maiden name.  It's a bit unusual and a bit harsh sounding, so I decided not to pass up the opportunity to change it the easy way.    I will also admit there was an emotional component: it also served to mark the beginning of a new life, leaving behind the old one with some bad memories attached to it.

[Hmmm_idolatry]

16 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

They don't deserve any money, especially Jill and Dwreck. Aside from JB&M and Joshley, they're next on the shitty list. IMO anyways. 

I completely agree.  Jill and Derek irritate me the most out of all the Duggar kids and their spouses (and that's saying a lot when you consider that Bin and creepy Austin are in the picture).  I have no stomach for the bullshit grifty colonialism they've inflicted on El Salvador, I find their parenting skills to be abhorrent, and there is just something about Jill that I find punchable (not literally).  Jill, Boob, Josh, Michelle...they are the most irritating people in that ginormous family.  

[divadivine]

Jill wouldn't hyphenate her maiden name & married last name. That's too much like those heathen, pants wearin' feminists! 

If I ever get married I'd probably just keep my last name for business/work purposes and maybe hyphenate maiden name-married name in my private life? I've had my last name for my whole life, why change it now? 

Although my last name is long and is misspelled often.... I might rethink if I did get married. 

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

I've said this before on FJ, but my Dad and I work for different divisions of the same firm, so I begrudgingly changed my last name when I got married so that I wouldn't spend my entire career being referred to by my colleagues as "DefraudinSquad Sr.'s Daughter", but sometimes I miss my maiden name, especially since my married last name is similar in spelling and pronounced the same way as the last name of a very hated Republican in congress. 

Jill and Derrick, those dinguses  They really need to shut up about the lawsuit on social media. Anything they say can and will be used against them in court....after all...

[Lurker]

When I got married in 1977, I used my maiden name plus my husbands name.  Everone bitched it was to long and that I should stay with one name. I was annoyed at the expectation that I would be Mrs. Bob Smith and my original identity would be erased so I went back to using my own name.   40 years later, I am happy I did it, however the older folks in the family still address everything to me as Mrs Bob Smith rather than Ms Vee Lurker.

 

[Lyle Lanley]

I just skimmed over the last thread on this. Did the Duggars listen to any legal advice whatsoever? It is not the wisest decision to speak about a lawsuit you are involved in. Even something as innocent as Jill tweeted out.

[jcanglin991]

When I got married I added my husband's last name to mine. My parents did not have middle names and they did  not give myself or my sister middle names. She added her husband's name to hers when she got married too. Interestingly enough, our brothers have middle names. Yet another thing for my sister and me to resent them for, aside from the fact that they were treated as princes. I really like my maiden name and it fits well with my married name. I have what would be considered an old-fashioned name, although I love it. My maiden name is also a male last name and I think it fits with my first name, which isn't really girly.

[JesSky03]

My maiden name is unusual and I grew up having to say it multiple times and eventually spell it for people. My married name is so unbelievably common at first I found it comical, but now i find it annoying in my profession. I code medical records so whenever I have to go into someone's chart with the same last name as me I have to let someone know that I am not related to the patient. And sometimes I forget and then get a warning email that I have to respond to within so many days. I never would have had this problem with my maiden name.

 

 

[PennySycamore]

My maiden name is an uncommon variant of another last name and, in fact, my birth certificate has the more common form.  My married name is also commonly misspelled or maybe it itself is a misspelling.  The form that my husband's family uses apparently came about  because some of his ancestors thought it looked classier with an extra letter in it.  

My mom's maiden name is another case where someone wanted to class up a name by adding letters.  It doesn't take very far back in the family history to find some that spell it one way and some another. 

My youngest daughter intends to keep her name if she gets married.

[VelociRapture]

6 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I thought it was de rigeur, according to Emily Post, to have one's name be First Maiden Married after marriage, dropping the middle name. No hyphens, no parentheses, etc.

It used to be. Pretty much everyone I know who has gotten married in the last ten years has kept their middle name though. I did the same. I share it with my mom and we gave our daughter a variant of it for her first name.

[MadeItOut]

We're getting married shortly so we're doing all this stuff now.

I get the argument of not wanting to loose your identity into your spouse's, but by that token then isn't hyphenation as bad? Since you have to use that specific name going forward, you're both sort of rubbed out. Okay, at least there's an equal sacrifice, but I just don't get why more folks don't double barrel without the hyphen. It's so practical - all the benefits, none of the negatives.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

I kept my maiden name when we got married in 2000. It seemed like a lot of work to change it. His name is common & mine is not (but easy to spell)

i don't go crazy correcting older family members who call me Mrs. X but notice younger people can deal with a married couple with 2 different last names. My older sister didn't remember my husbands last name for about 2 years after we married. I would get letters in the mail from her & say, who does she think I married? But she's PA.

my kids school also calls me by the wrong name & i don't get it. Maybe they get confused because we did not hyphenate kid's last name, just used his? I thought it would be cruel to give a kid a last name with 16 letters. Or they are just used to marrieds having big the same name.

[JordynDarby5]

Hyphenating your last name or keeping the maiden name wasn't really done when my mom got married years later when it became popular she wished it had been when she got married because she would have hyphenated hers and her kids. She was really close to her dad and would have love to carry on the name. Her mother would have done the same thing if it was popular when she got married because one of her sisters-in-laws had the same first name and of course the same married last name. Unfortunately her sister-in-law was always running up debts and not paying but they'd always confuse the two and my grandmother was the one constantly getting calls and letters.  She repeatedly had to try and straighten it out or prove it was her sister-in-law not her. My sister-in-law had a similar problem with her maiden name.  Her maiden name and first name were so common she always  ended up in school with three or four girls with the same first and last name. One of the girls was always cutting school but my sister-in-law's parents were the ones always getting the call that she ditched school. She's been so happy ever since she changed her last name.  

[ak1188]

I'm keeping my name, but I'm getting a surprising amount of pushback about it. He has one of those German last names with a lot of letters that people get a kick out of, and people consider his name more fun than my 5 letter super common Hispanic last names. But my name fits me and his does not, so I'm keeping mine. Years ago it came up in conversation and his family adamant that changing my name is the right thing to do. When his stepmother found out I planned to keep my name, she later made passive aggressive comments about it during a large dinner party with people I had never met before. It was rude, and only made me more determined to keep my name, partly because I'm petty but also why would I want to share a name with someone who has no problem trying to publicly shame me into doing something I don't want to do?

When we started talking about whether or not I would change my name, we jokingly combined our last names to create one monstrosity of a hybrid that's pretty hilarious. We use it for a joint email account, but that's about it.

[Four is Enough]

I hyphenated my name with the XH's when we were married. It was tedious.

After the divorce, I returned to my maiden name.

When Mr. Four and I got married, I kept my maiden name. Sometimes, people call him Mr. My Maiden Name. He doesn't like that.

So I say, sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander. Get over it. People call me Mrs. Four a helluva lot more than they call him Mr. Me.

[marmalade]

8 hours ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

This is what I did as it was suggested that this would create a unique name for financial and security porpoises. So it is on legal documents but not used in everyday stuff. 

I had an aka on my banking stuff for about 10 years. I now do use my maiden name (with married , non-hyphened) on FB, since I lost touch with old high school friends when we all went our separate ways. It's very common in my crowd for women to do this, even if they just go by their married name out in the real world, as I do. 

[FeministShrew]

I kept my ex's name because my kids were young, & also because my maiden name is weird & very uncommon (at least in SC; I've heard it's pretty common because the original family immigrated there from Prussia in the late 1700s). When I married Mr. Shrew I took his name because my kids are adults now, and I was tired of being asked , "Oh, XXX, are you related to XYZ XXX?" And the awkwardness when I told them that it's my ex's family. (Ex's name is not common, either, but foolproof to spell & pronounce. But, like my maiden name, everyone with that name is related.)

I'm thrilled to finally have a "normal" last name.

Though for some reason they can't change my email at work without losing my mail,  so my email address & display name are the old name & my new name is in my signature. The perils of a small firm.

[potato]

I'm not married yet, but I know I don't want to give up my maiden name.  My family and I had to fight to change it (due to divorce) and I love it so much more than my first last name.  

My boyfriend and I have agreed that if we get married, we'd probably hyphenate our last names.  While it would be a super long last name (currently his is eight letters long and mine is 13 letters long), I feel like it's the best way to keep either of us from losing our identities.  

Mine is very ethnic and people can figure out my heritage right off the bat 99% of the time.  My heritage is an integral part of my life and incredibly important to me, and I really don't want to give that up.  

Also, both he and I are currently on-track to being scientists.  I know it would be a bit confusing if I published a paper under my maiden name but then changed it and continued publishing papers.

[Tryamon]

I named myself. I changed my middle name when I was 20, then started using that name as my first name. I recently legally dropped my first name and picked a last name people could pronounce and spell. It is amazing to look at my ID and see a name I like.