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Jim Bakker and the Food Buckets O'Doom


Cartmann99

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4 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

Serious question, why isn't Jim Bakker on Trump's evangelical advisory panel? He's got other sleazy pulpit pimps, why not Jim and the doom buckets?

Even Trump has a modicum of intelligence, it appears.

Edited by December
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Back in the day I watched PTL for snark. Tammy Faye fascinated me -- so much make-up, so much OTT religious hokum.

Years later, long after the Bakkers' divorce I saw the documentary "The Eyes of Tammy Faye."  There she was -- just as OTT as ever with all that make-up.  But... this was a Tammy Faye  we didn't know, someone who was gay friendly before a lot of people were. A woman who hit bottom and was working to put her life back together.

It was an interesting film. I didn't end of loving Tammy Faye, but I finally saw her not as a caricature, but a a real person,

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I remember her being on some reality show, like one of the vh1 "has beens in a house together" ones?  Anyway I remember her being surprisingly sympathetic. 

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3 hours ago, smittykins said:

Why would he be hawking the Jewish calendar?  Has he gone Messianic?

No, it's just another angle to con gullible people into buying useless crap.   Here's something from Jim Bakker's Web site on August 16th: 

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God’s Calendar: Why You Must Pay Attention (Day 3)
Jim Bakker Show 2017 | Show# 3301 | Aired on August 16, 2017

Tags: Being Prepared, Blood Moons, Eclipse, End Times, Signs In The Heavens, study, survival

Pastor Jim Bakker welcomes special guest Mark Biltz as they discuss the importance of paying attention to God’s calendar and the signs of end times in the world today.

Quotes: "We need to be spiritually prepared, and we need to be physically prepared because we don’t know what year it’s going to happen, but God is looking for people that are watching." -Mark Biltz

"The antichrist is going to be one who has thrown out the Torah as God’s laws." -Mark Biltz

If you have God's calendar (or 3 copies for the price of two for $30) you'll be better prepared for the End Times and God will like you more.  It's a critical adjunct to the Food Buckets o' Doom!

Plus, Anne Graham Lotz, who I'm guessing is a Billy Graham spawn, was a guest recently.  She thinks some type of shit will hit the fan during the eclipse, because the Babylonians parties like it's 1999 and ended up dead. 

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In light of Ezekiel 33:1-6 that commands a watchman to be faithful to warn others of the danger coming against the land, I feel compelled to issue the warning once again. The warning is triggered by the total solar eclipse of August 21, 2017, nicknamed America’s Eclipse. For the first time in almost 100 years, a total solar eclipse will be seen from coast to coast in our nation.  People are preparing to mark this significant event with viewing parties at exclusive prime sites. The celebratory nature regarding the eclipse brings to my mind the Babylonian King Belshazzar who threw a drunken feast the night the Medes and Persians crept under the city gate.  While Belshazzar and his friends partied, they were oblivious to the impending danger.  Belshazzar wound up dead the next day, and the Babylonian empire was destroyed.

Jewish rabbis have historically viewed solar eclipses as warnings from God to Gentile nations. Therefore, my perspective on the upcoming phenomenon is not celebratory. While no one can know for sure if judgment is coming on America, it does seem that God is signaling us about something. Time will tell what that something is.

 

 

Edited by Howl
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4 hours ago, smittykins said:

Why would he be hawking the Jewish calendar?  Has he gone Messianic?

He does invite Jonathan Cahn on his show fairly regularly, but I'm with @Howl in thinking he's just trying to sell more products. It will be interesting to see if he introduces a line of Kosher doom buckets.

Shill, baby, shill!

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After predicting for the entire last year that “The Shemitah” on Sunday, September 13, would usher in some cataclysmic event in America — possibly an economic crash, inclement weather, war or terrorist attacks — messianic rabbi Jonathan Cahn appeared on “The 700 Club” today to save face (and sell more books) after September 13 came and went without anything out of the ordinary happening.

When host Pat Robertson asked him if anything noteworthy happened on the 13th, Cahn first tried to avoid the question but eventually told the televangelist that “you can’t put God in a box or He’ll get out of it,” saying that God doesn’t work in exact dates.

Of course, Cahn himself declared that this potential disaster would occur on an “exact date … in accordance with the ancient mystery” of the Shemitah, a day when the land is left fallow and debts are forgiven. “The coming Shemitah will end September 2015. Its final climatic day, Elul 29, the Day of Remission, will fall on Sunday, September 13,” he wrote in “The Mystery of the Shemitah.”

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jonathan-cahn-blows-september-13-doomsday-prophecy-finds-convenient-explanation/

1 hour ago, Howl said:

Plus, Anne Graham Lotz, who I'm guessing is a Billy Graham spawn, was a guest recently.  

Anne is one of Billy Graham's kids. 

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7 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

Anne is one of Billy Graham's kids. 

Her striking resemblance to her dad clued me in to that as much as her name! 

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21 hours ago, SusanDelgado said:

I've missed out on the Niburi deal. Thanks for the rabbit hole! 

Go read Candy Brauer's blog Eyes2Jesus. She's been studying Niburi for years and is sure it's going to come and annihilate us all. ( For those newbies, Candy has been around forever it seems and she's crazy as a loon--headcovering, dresses only, homeschool, and all these science fiction predictions)

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This is from a satirical website, but I could see Bakker saying something like this:

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Televangelist and survivalist Jim Bakker has blamed the impending lunar eclipse on President Barack Obama.

“God came to me in a dream and said I should tell the world that I am plunging the world into darkness to remind people I’m still mad at the Obama years,” said Bakker on his online radio show. “Obama legalized witchcraft, sexual deviants getting married and schools started teaching transgenderism.”

Bakker said it would take eight years of Donald Trump for America to “get right with God.”

http://bizstandardnews.com/2017/08/19/bakker-eclipse-is-gods-punishment-for-obama-years/

 

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18 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

This is from a satirical website, but I could see Bakker saying something like this

Yeah, if you'd put that quote without context, I would've seriously had to Google if it was a joke or not! 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I know you will be shocked to learn that Jim Bakker is fighting hard to be crowned king of the shitweasels:

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Right-wing pastor Rick Joyner joined televangelist and End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker on his television program yesterday, where they declared that Hurricane Harvey was God’s judgment on the city of Houston and used the devastation wrought by the storm to promote Bakker’s line of survival products.

Joyner asserted that the storm had nothing to do with climate change because “the real issue with the weather and everything else on the earth has to do with sin and wickedness.”

“The whole earth will cry out because of the shedding of innocent blood,” he said. “That’s what throws nature off more than dumping CO2 or anything.”

That prompted Bakker to declare that he felt that “this flood is from God, it’s a judgment on America,” and Joyner agreed, noting that “these kinds of things don’t happen by accident.”

 

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/god-is-not-mocked-jim-bakker-says-hurricane-harvey-is-gods-judgment-on-america/

Since it's looking like Irma will very likely do serious damage to Trump's beloved Grift-a-Lago and Rush Limbaugh's compound, I'm looking forward to the spin on  why God damaged the properties of of such stellar examples of the Christian faith. :pb_rollseyes:

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Let's catch up with what's happening on Jimmy & The Doom Buckets.

 Jimmy, as most of you know, loves him some Donald Trump and likes talking about him for hours on end. Jimmy also enjoys thinking that he is being persecuted for his religious beliefs, but bravely wears his trucker hats with crosses on the front in public, even though he could be murdered at any moment:

Aren't you shocked that ol' Jimmy is one of those American Christians with a persecution complex? Who could have possibly seen that coming! :pb_surprised:

The Paradigm they are referring to, is a book by their guest sitting next to Jimmy. His name is Jonathan Cahn, and he is a messianic rabbi. The book is about how Bill and Hillary Clinton are modern day representations of Ahab and Jezebel. Yes, that Jezebel.

Yeah, he's nuts too. :pb_rollseyes:

Anyway, Jimmy is super excited about the recent hurricanes, because people were making fun of him and his doom buckets, but God sure showed them, huh?

From the pictures on his website, it looks like Jimmy took some doom buckets to Texas and gave out the contents to hurricane victims.

https://store.jimbakkershow.com/product/harvey-relief/

It's definitely better than going hungry, but I think I'd rather eat cold SpaghettiOs out of the can, than something out of his doom buckets.

Edited by Cartmann99
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He's a post millennialist then? The rapture will happen at the end of time times on Earth? I wonder if those buckets float? Would those flooded out of their homes have been able to take their buckets with them?

Other than the failed health Care issue, was Hillary really seen as a "co president" to Bill? I don't remember that at the time. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

So rather than donate his edible buckets o'crap to people in disaster areas, "good Christian, non sinner" Bakker is asking his viewers to buy them to donate.  To ensure his profits go up. 

I don't understand how anyone can watch a shameless grifter like this.  Grifter really is too weak a word for this evil creature.

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42 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

So rather than donate his edible buckets o'crap to people in disaster areas, "good Christian, non sinner" Bakker is asking his viewers to buy them to donate.  To ensure his profits go up. 

I don't understand how anyone can watch a shameless grifter like this.  Grifter really is too weak a word for this evil creature.

He's the worst!  Oh no that's J'Rod.  Cheers!

 

On 8/18/2017 at 11:45 PM, EmiGirl said:

If trump is God's prophet I'm the queen of England. 

and I am Santa Clause....oh wait I am!

Can someone pretty please make me an av of this woman's face.  Me thinks it's time for a change from our beloved guinea.

Sis Pook

 

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On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 0:41 AM, Cartmann99 said:

It's definitely better than going hungry, but I think I'd rather eat cold SpaghettiOs out of the can, than something out of his doom buckets.

At least the Spaghettios taste good.  I'd almost guess those buckets have been repurposed at Camp Naugler if they weren't so expensive.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Uh-oh, I guess lots of people are in trouble: "Jim Bakker Says God Will Punish You For Making Fun Of Him"

Spoiler

Jim Bakker has had it with his critics. 

The disgraced televangelist is demanding that “mean people in America” who make fun of him stop watching his show, which is essentially an infomercial for his doomsday food mixed with predictions about an impending apocalypse. 

He’s warning that there will be dire consequences for those who continue to watch and mock.  

“If you don’t want to hear it, just shut me off,” he said in a clip from Friday’s show posted online by Right Wing Watch. “Especially you folks that monitor me every day to try to destroy me. Just go away. You don’t have to be there. You don’t have to hear it.”

Then he fired off his warning: 

“One day, you’re going to shake your fist in God’s face. And you’re going to say, ‘God, why didn’t you warn me?’ He’s gonna say, ‘You sat there and you made fun of Jim Bakker all those years. I warned you, but you didn’t listen.’”

Bakker was a staple of the 1980s televangelist circuit, building a Christian TV, theme park and resort empire worth $180 million. But it all came crumbling down when he resigned in shame after a sex scandal and eventually served four years in prison for fraud.

Today, he hawks survivalist food and other prepper supplies to help Christians survive an upcoming “tribulation” period that will supposedly last for several years.

 

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Ruh roh, business must be trending down for little Jimmy Bakker, America's favorite scamaritan!  

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On 10/17/2017 at 11:35 AM, GreyhoundFan said:

Uh-oh, I guess lots of people are in trouble: "Jim Bakker Says God Will Punish You For Making Fun Of Him"

  Reveal hidden contents

Jim Bakker has had it with his critics. 

The disgraced televangelist is demanding that “mean people in America” who make fun of him stop watching his show, which is essentially an infomercial for his doomsday food mixed with predictions about an impending apocalypse. 

He’s warning that there will be dire consequences for those who continue to watch and mock.  

“If you don’t want to hear it, just shut me off,” he said in a clip from Friday’s show posted online by Right Wing Watch. “Especially you folks that monitor me every day to try to destroy me. Just go away. You don’t have to be there. You don’t have to hear it.”

Then he fired off his warning: 

“One day, you’re going to shake your fist in God’s face. And you’re going to say, ‘God, why didn’t you warn me?’ He’s gonna say, ‘You sat there and you made fun of Jim Bakker all those years. I warned you, but you didn’t listen.’”

Bakker was a staple of the 1980s televangelist circuit, building a Christian TV, theme park and resort empire worth $180 million. But it all came crumbling down when he resigned in shame after a sex scandal and eventually served four years in prison for fraud.

Today, he hawks survivalist food and other prepper supplies to help Christians survive an upcoming “tribulation” period that will supposedly last for several years.

 

People have been mocking Jim Bakker for more than forty years now, and rightfully so, given all of the scamming and cheating he’s done. He should consider himself lucky that he still has a following at all at this point, since at least if people are making fun of you that means you’re at least somewhat relevant. If Bakker hasn’t grown a thick skin after being in public “ministry” for as long as he has, maybe he should sell used cars incognito like Josh Duggar or something like that.

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On 9/27/2017 at 4:38 PM, Cartmann99 said:

Jimmy has a very important message for you:

:doh:

Actually, I think most people will prefer cannibalism once they sample some doom buckets. 

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  • Coconut Flan changed the title to Jim Bakker and the Food Buckets O'Doom

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