Lori Alexander 18: Taking Pictures in the Closet

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, Showtunesgirl said:

We've all agreed that Lori's reading comprehension skills aren't the greatest, correct? In the first article she cites about the 400 hours of shopping, the article itself explicitly states that not all of those hours are spent at the mall. A good portion is spent on grocery shopping, errands, window shopping, etc. I've also learned from frugal blogs (and my own very frugal parents), that part of being frugal is spending a lot of time researching and shopping around for bargains, but that doesn't mean you have to buy something every time you enter a store. Conversely, a sure-fire way to spend less time shopping is to pay full-price for everything, which defeats the purpose of today's blog post.

I also find her caveat of when not to spend very telling: "if all these mean we are dissipating our husband's income." First, the implication is that if it doesn't negatively impact the family finances, go ahead and do these things (even though they're not necessarily prudent), frugality is for poor people! Ugh, no, being frugal/prudent/a good steward of your money should apply no matter what income bracket you're in. There are also frugal ways to do all the things on her list, but not all at once. Part of frugality is that it allows those who practice it to save up money for the things that ARE important to them (and they get to decide what those things are). Second, the use of "dissipated" has the wrong connotation; her post would be much better served had she used "squandered". I'll admit I laughed at the title, imagining dollar bills just evaporating into thin air. 

I read that article that she linked to it. I agree, Lori doesn't have great comprehension skills. She likely skims through articles and looks for a quote to use and attempt to prove about "how bad many women are when it comes to spending money". I also read the article that was linked with the NY Daily News article.  I doubt Lori read that article. The article wisely pointed out that houses don't restock themselves and someone always has to do the shopping and shopping for food and household items is a chore. When ti comes to clothes  shopping, many women are probably doing shopping trips for their kids. The article points some of the reasons why we spend so much time in stores. It takes time to look through clothes and and shoes. Same with grocery stores especially if a grocery store chain puts marked down items in certain areas away from full price items.

I have also gone into stores to browse and see what's on sale and if I could find go deals. Yeah, you don't have to buy something when you go into a store.

https://www.fool.com/personal-finance/2011/02/28/women-spend-399-hours-a-year-shopping.aspx?source=isesitlnk0000001&mrr=1.00
 

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Cliche alert!
Before we cue the survey highlight reel and accuse the fairer sex of rampant shopaholism, consider two important points:

Households don't automatically restock themselves when they're out of milk, toothpaste, and proper gym shoes. Women tend to do the bulk of the shopping for the entire family. In other words, those aren't warm-up laps at the strip mall. They're a chore.

It's not like gents spend their spare time toiling to find a cure for cancer. Or cleaning out the garage. One study in Britain found that over a lifetime, the average man spends 10,585 hours parked on a bar stool in a pub. Another 11 years is consumed by watching the telly, and one entire month gets frittered away looking for socks.

With that, let's dig deeper into the results of the study:

Food: Squeezing fruit and corralling unruly kids during 84 annual trips to the grocery stores eats up a total of 94 hours and 55 minutes a year.

Clothing: Finding the perfect pair of jeans takes time -- 100 hours and 48 minutes over the course of 30 trips to store dressing rooms, to be exact.

Shoes: Given our supposed obsession with footwear, 15 yearly excursions (and 40 hours and 30 minutes spent admiring ourselves from the ankle down) hardly seems excessive.

Books: Who doesn't like to spend 31 hours and 21 minutes a year in a quiet place, flipping through the New York Times best sellers? Or the latest People?

Toiletries: It takes 17 hours and 33 minutes annually to gather what everyone needs to shower, shave, brush, pluck, exfoliate, deodorize and moisturize. And, yes, it probably does take 27 trips to the drugstore to figure out the four aisles of toothpaste options.

Window-shopping: The chase is indeed more fun than the catch. Learning the art of retail recon -- keeping cards and cash in our wallets -- takes 49 hours a year to master.

Gifts: Proving that shopping is often a selfless act, 19 of women's 301 annual shopping trips are spent buying stuff for friends and family.

Retail therapy or routine errands?
What do you think? Have you ever kept track of how much time you spend in retail therapy? And how do you save time -- and money -- when you're forced to hunt and gather for your family? Share your best shopping strategy below.

 

 

[Loveday]

A reader takes Lori to task on today's blog post: 

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Another “Do as I say, not as I do.” post.
You do realize your $70 skirt was more than your readers probably have for groceries each week?

Lori replies in true Lori style:

 

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I bought it when it was on sale, [name redacted] but I have always lived within my husband’s income and do not spend a lot of money on myself. I own three skirts. I like quality when I do buy something. There is always room for improvement, but the point of this post is to not spend all of our husband’s hard earned money and my husband knows that I am careful with his money. He appreciates this about me.

Of course she doesn't spend a lot of money on herself. That $300 worth of beauty products is well within HER husband's income. Sucks for you if YOUR husband doesn't make that kind of money, doesn't it? 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

I'll believe she only has 3 skirts when she shares a photo of her closet and not the neighbors! What the hell is she hiding?

[lilwriter85]

I'm not buying the "I only have 3 skirts" claim either.

[Koala]

She said this week that she only wears skirts or dresses to church.  Somehow I doubt that she only has 3 (meaning she only had 2 until she bought the denim one).  And another thing...she claims she always "dresses up" for church.  Is a denim skirt "dressing up"?

Yeah, no.  Not buying it.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

I think there are enough pictures of her online that we can find more than 3 different skirts. If someone wants a fun project.....

[louisa05]

So, raise your hand if you are divorced because your husband didn't do housework?

Apparently, that is a big enough cause for divorce that Lori needed to do a notebook doodle about it. 

I had no idea. Here I foolishly thought that most divorces were way more complicated than that. I mean, if that is the only problem, hire a cleaning service and save the marriage. 

[Showtunesgirl]

19 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

So, raise your hand if you are divorced because your husband didn't do housework?

Apparently, that is a big enough cause for divorce that Lori needed to do a notebook doodle about it. 

I had no idea. Here I foolishly thought that most divorces were way more complicated than that. I mean, if that is the only problem, hire a cleaning service and save the marriage. 

Wait, whaaaat?

[Maggie Mae]

I wouldn't marry someone who didn't help with housework or at least be respectful about it. 

I'm much more likely to leave my socks in the living room than the S.O., but we also both pick up after ourselves. I'm just more artistic/clutter-buggy/scatterbrained. I'm more likely to leave things there because he does not use the living room as often. 

He loves cooking, hates laundry, we both hate cleaning the bathroom. So we both cook our own meals and eat each others foods. We do laundry together (one of us starts it, changes it over, we both fold.) We enjoy spending time together so there is no reason for some gender-based division of labor. We even cleaned the bathroom together. I cleaned the sink, he cleaned the toilet.

BUT if I asked him to stop leaving his dirty socks everywhere but the hamper and he was like "no, if they bother you, you move them" then I i would seriously reconsider the relationship. It's about respect. I told him to stop leaving his shoes directly in front of the door, but it's habit, and habits are hard to break. I'm sure I do annoying things as well (cluttering up the house with random things I am gifted, the previously mentioned socks and bra in the living room).  

[Pammy]

Seriously? "If you husband passively watches you do all the household work generated by two (or more) people without feeling the urge to contribute his own effort -- does he love you?"

I don't know Lori: let's check! Would it be a "patient" thing to do? (Maybe, I guess.) Would it be "kind"? (No!) Would it be envious or boastful? (Not applicable.) Woukd it show "pride"? (Absolutely.) Would it "dishonour others"? (Yep!) Is it "self-seeking"? (Definitely.)

I think we have an answer Lori! Whoops, sorry, I suppose it's "not my job" to apply scripture to my life. I'll get on with my vacuuming then.

[louisa05]

18 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

BUT if I asked him to stop leaving his dirty socks everywhere but the hamper and he was like "no, if they bother you, you move them" then I i would seriously reconsider the relationship. It's about respect. I told him to stop leaving his shoes directly in front of the door, but it's habit, and habits are hard to break. I'm sure I do annoying things as well (cluttering up the house with random things I am gifted, the previously mentioned socks and bra in the living room).  

I pretty much knew that Mr. 05 was not the type to be inconsiderate about those things or anything else before we were serious enough to live in the same house. If someone (a male or female partner) is such an ass that they won't do simple things like pick up their own dirty socks, they are likely asses in many other ways, as well. 

My 22 year old nephew is that kind of ass. But his girlfriend definitely is aware of that by now. He has told my brother that they fight over her picking stuff up in his apartment. So far, she is so enamored with having a boyfriend and being on the perfect life timeline (go to college, find a boyfriend there, go to grad school, get married...) that she doesn't seem to realize that marrying him will mean having that fight for the rest of her life and she won't be able to go home to a clean place anymore. Nephew is also an ass in other ways both to the GF and to everyone else. He also spouts nonsense about patriarchy (in spite of preaching atheism to us at every turn) and defines his maternal family as a "patriarchy" in which his mother's brother must be responsible for everyone else by virtue of being the oldest person with a penis and women must cook and clean while men do whatever they want. It should be pretty apparent to his gf what she is getting, but her family doesn't seem to be much better. 

Mr.05, for the record, does nearly all the cleaning here. He likes to clean and is particular about how it is done.  I believe I have said that on FJ before. I haven't cleaned a bathroom in nearly ten years (he started cleaning my bathroom while we were dating). I do the laundry. He is not allowed to fold. He has no idea how to fold. I do all the cooking, but I love to cook. He cannot cook anything other than mac & cheese from a box, fried eggs, or processed food that only needs heated. He grew up in a household with gender roles but they did not apply to general cleaning (probably because his dad has issues with cleanliness that border on OCD). Somehow, he left that house without a sexist bone in his body, though. I'm not sure how. 

[usmcmom]

Remember, Lori also claimed that Valentine's Day leads to divorce. Is it any wonder, then, that she will also list "housework" as a leading cause? 

 

[usmcmom]

Ya know. The more I think about the commenter who wrote that it is another "do as I say...." post, the angrier I get at Lori. 

Have we ever seen her show a bit of humility?  I really believe many Christian women would have responded with "I am sorry. It appears that my post came across as boastful. I don't want anybody to fall into the trap of comparison because of anything I write. I will try to be more aware of the challenges and thoughts of others."  

I know; I know. We are talking about Lori so, yeah, I'm an idiot. 

[feministxtian]

Mr. Xtian does MOST of the housework...it all started years ago when he criticized the way I vacuumed...I told him that he could do it if he didn't like the way I did it. So he did, and he does. He does most of the rest of the housework too...I make messes. I cook, occasionally do laundry and usually am the one who does the simple car repairs (no garage and no more tools). We usually go grocery shopping together (although I spend MUCH less if I go alone). 

I'm the one who wrote out the timeline for moving (so he'll STFU and stop asking), I usually pay the bills (because he forgets), and he likes to tell people I can squeeze a dollar bill and get 5 quarters out of it. 

Lori has a miserable marriage...

[quiversR4hunting]

3 hours ago, louisa05 said:

So, raise your hand if you are divorced because your husband didn't do housework?

Apparently, that is a big enough cause for divorce that Lori needed to do a notebook doodle about it. 

I had no idea. Here I foolishly thought that most divorces were way more complicated than that. I mean, if that is the only problem, hire a cleaning service and save the marriage. 

I am so glad Lori told us this! I work in child support, I'm going to go tell our mediators and family counselor that they are doing it wrong and they only need to suggest Molly Maid or for both to do chores. And after they do that then I need to start looking for a new job because all divorces and break ups will stop!!

[Pammy]

According to Lori:

The #1 cause of divorce is women having the expectation that their husbands should be kind, considerate or respectful towards them.

This inevitably leads to disappointment among women who are married to butt-heads who double-down on the mean inconsiderate arrogance.

This is 100% caused by the women having such irrational feeling-based ideas around love, support, and teamwork in marriage in the first place. You can see how having no such expectations would lead to godly marriages (between arrogant butt-heads and resigned door-matts) instead of divorce, right?

Valintines day expectations lead to divorce. Housework expectations lead to divorce. Co-parenting expectations lead to divorce. Lack-of-emotional-abuse expectations lead to divorce. See the common thread? Women! With expectations!

(The #2 cause of divorce is yoga pants, of course.)

[Hisey]

Lori, the frugal housewife, has a new "youtube" about her health (which she goes on about for five straight minutes!) and her new kitchen counters. She so excited about getting granite! Apparently, her corian counters would no longer do because she had cracked them in several places.

Hon, I have cracked countertops. They still work fine. Perhaps you should not get so excited about such worldly and fleshly pleasures. (I am almost tempted to put this as a comment on her youtube)

[Koala]

Just now, Hisey said:

Lori, the frugal housewife, has a new "youtube" about her health (which she goes on about for five straight minutes!) and her new kitchen counters. She so excited about getting granite! Apparently, her corian counters would no longer do because she had cracked them in several places.

Hon, I have cracked countertops. They still work fine. Perhaps you should not get so excited about such worldly and fleshly pleasures. (I am almost tempted to put this as a comment on her youtube)

She admits that they cracked because she sat hot pots on them. They were only 19 years old. Good grief, I've had formica last longer, because I actually took care of it.  (I clean them with Clorox wipes, instead of a salmonella soaked Norwex cloth, but that's a different story).

She wanted granite, and I guarantee you, that's why she sabotaged what she had.   She's like a child.  If she doesn't get her way, she destroys stuff (like her birth control) until everyone throws their hands up and does what she wants.  

 Christ on a cracker, put a pot holder under your pots, and save your counter tops.  Be a good steward of the things you have.  I can't stand waste.

[Imrlgoddess]

4 hours ago, louisa05 said:

So, raise your hand if you are divorced because your husband didn't do housework?

Apparently, that is a big enough cause for divorce that Lori needed to do a notebook doodle about it. 

I had no idea. Here I foolishly thought that most divorces were way more complicated than that. I mean, if that is the only problem, hire a cleaning service and save the marriage. 

Man, I missed that memo when I got divorced. My ex is a minimalist who cleaned hospital style.  But then again I'm a heathen feminist who has worked outside the home & has one girl child in *gasp* public school! 

Madame is getting new kitchen counters, I'm still trying to swindle some new peel n stick tile for mine kitchen ! Someone hit the nail on the head with this broad: she was a spoiled, entitled child who became an entitled adult. There is nothing remotely Christian or Godly about her. Humility? Nah. That would require self reflection & true compassion. She is the epitome of the sin of pride. 

[Koala]

Okay, watching the video- she says they were going to replace the cabinets, but they found out how expensive they were, so they decided to just paint them "since they were in pretty good shape".  

Well if they were in "pretty good shape", why replace them?  

That "Youtube" was made 3 days ago.  Today she says:

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We don’t need an expensive college education, the latest fashions, expensive haircuts and manicures, spa days, elaborate vacations, new cars, perfectly decorated homes, eating out often (Americans now spend more money on dining out than groceries), etc. 

Is it normal for cabinets to only last 19 years?  My house is 61 years old, and to my knowledge, it still has the original cabinets.  We stained them last year, and they look fabulous, if I do say so.  And by "we stained them", I mean we (my husband and I) actually did the work ourselves. Because we're actually are pretty frugal.  It would have never occurred to us to pay someone to do what we could do ourselves. 

[Koala]

Since we're on the topic of being frugal, I always cringe when Lori shows a $45 bottle of laundry detergent or some such nonsense.  Yes, I know that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but not much.  Which brings me to my point...

Sam's Club is like my second home.  I recently started trying some of their store brand (Member's Mark) products, and I have been really impressed.  

I have always liked Tide (for laundry) and Cascade (for dishes), but I tried their brand out, because it is such a big savings.  

I have to say, I can't tell a difference, and I plan to keep using them.  I am also using their trash bags, "clorox" wipes, toilet paper, paper towels, liquid dish soap, and hand soap.  I save both by buying in bulk, and using a store brand.  Their Daily Chef stuff is pretty good too.

Anyway, that's my contribution to Lori's frugality post.  

[AlwaysDiscerning]

I know there was a post or comment maybe a year or two ago where Lori was talking about how content she is with her kitchen. That she could go out and update it, but doesn't. HAHAHHA, how long that lasted. Kinda like how she said once she went 50 some years without an iphone, so she doesn't need on now. A year later-- iphone in hand. 

I wonder if she was soliciting picture of chat room reader kitchens to get ideas for her own. Or maybe seeing all those pictures made her envious, that she has crappy cracked counters and now she has to one-up them. 

[lilwriter85]

I've used Member's Mark and another generic dishwashing detergent for the past few years and they work fine. I've read and heard that the generic products are manufactured and packaged in the same factories/companies as the brand name products.  Buying in bulk is also a good saving method. I'm surprised "frugal" Lori has mentioned stuff like that to connect with her fangirls.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

We know she goes to costco based on that lemon tree, LOL. But she hasn't shared what else she buys in bulk there. I bet you though what she does buy in bulk is all brand names, not the store brand. 

 

[Loveday]

I can't bring myself to watch this latest youtube of hers. My kitchen countertops are original to my 1981 house, fake butcher block. They're in great shape except for a spot where my daughter accidentally put an insanely hot pot on it. Did I even discuss the possibility of new countertops with my husband? No. We just can't afford it, especially since it would likely mean new cabinets as well, since unlike the counters they're not in great shape. I found a Corelle glass cutting board in a cute pattern and put it over the spot. Frankly, it looks great, is useful, and cost me $2.25 at the thrift store.

And that, Lori, is how you really avoid 'dissipating' your husband's income.