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Dillards 29 - Teaching Them to Make Piñatas


choralcrusader8613

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23 hours ago, singsingsing said:

. Now she has to suck it up and follow the same advice she gave her sisters: be content where she is.

OMG she actually said this? When? How did I miss this?

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Do you think that sooner or later JB and M realize how much they damage their girls or not? especially the older four ? i mean even if they still belive to be in the right way they should see that jump to be a 12 yo SAHD to a full adult able to be a mother and a wife in 6 months is not the best way to have a strong and happy marriage no?

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9 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

@onekidanddone don't get me started on the heirarchy/racism in Judasim. Every time I've gone into a mainline shul, I've been met with "you don't look Jewish", "who are your parents?", "Are you adopted?" "Is that your real hair?"

I got so sick of being marginalised by my own people that I stopped even trying to be part of that community. It's lonley, and some days i miss the close religious community I grew up in, but they are way too restrictive for me...

It's sad, but there are a lot of people with their heads stuffed so far up their butts that the idea that someone may look different or practice their beliefs differently does not make them lesser is just incomprehensible.

I'm really sorry you've had these experiences. I was raised reform, and so even though my Mom wasn't Jewish (my dad never felt the need to ask her to convert since he wasn't very religious), I had a naming and a Bat Mitzvah with full support of both my parents. I still have had even conservative Rabbis and Jews tell me I'm not Jewish because of the maternal line. It's so frustrating! There are so few Jews in the world (I believe like 0.2% of the world?) and I'm trying to be involved in a community- why are you trying to reject me and my Jewish beliefs? Luckily in my area (NJ), there are plenty of options to stay involved if one community sucks, but I find that at least the reform or reconstructionist are usually very open to people of all faiths, races, sexual identities, etc.

I was fortunate enough to participate in a program for Jewish adults aged 18-26 (not Birthright). About 50% of the participants were from the US, and the remaining 50% were comprised of Jews from Israel, Ukraine, Russia, China, Nigeria, Argentina, and Sweden. It was so amazing to connect with everyone and learn from each other.

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18 minutes ago, Italiangirl said:

Do you think that sooner or later JB and M realize how much they damage their girls or not? especially the older four ? i mean even if they still belive to be in the right way they should see that jump to be a 12 yo SAHD to a full adult able to be a mother and a wife in 6 months is not the best way to have a strong and happy marriage no?

I don't think they'll think of it that way. They'll think the struggles adapting to adult life as their daughters wrestling with sins like selfishness or greed. If they'd only put their husbands/families/God first, then they wouldn't be having such a hard time.

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8 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that Jill didn't know what SHE wanted. She'd been told her entire life that her highest calling was to be a wife and mother...that's it. She got "sold" to a guy who was some half-baked missionary because she said she liked mission work. However, Jill never got the chance to know herself. She had no option to go to school, go off on her own, take time to figure out what she wanted, dream about something besides what her parents told her she wanted. She never had a minute alone. She was NEVER alone.

Yes, yes, and yes. I think we forget that it takes a while to even figure out what you want. So often what we think will make us happy, doesn't. But most of us have the chance to go, whoops, guess I don't like that job/that major/that partner after all, and shift directions throughout our teens, twenties, and even thirties. Jill not only lacked experience to make her decision, she is locked into it.  

I remember being really unhappy while with my high school boyfriend. Looking back it's so painfully obvious we weren't a good fit at all. But I had so been led to believe that once you had a boyfriend you would be happy, that I didn't understand why I was depressed and unsatisfied and I was looking at every other part of my life. And I wasn't Fundie, wasn't limited in my exposure to things, I was just a seventeen-year-old who lacked the emotional intelligence to identify what was wrong. I needed time to learn about myself and realize I'm an introvert, I like order and plans, and to learn how to verbalize my feelings.

 I think it will take Jill a long while to even process that she doesn't like this life after all before she can even (hopefully) take steps to change things.

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1 hour ago, SuhrEnity said:

OMG she actually said this? When? How did I miss this?

It was on the episode "Duggars Down the Aisle", when the Duggars went to Priscilla and David Waller's wedding. The girls were talking with the show crew about "what kind of guy they look for". Here are the screencaps, courtesty of wtffundiefamilies:

  1. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401443395/see-if-opposites-always-attracted-youd-pair
  2. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401623045/and-then-jessa-gets-way-too-real-by-expressing-an
  3. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401884455/jinger-is-about-five-seconds-away-from-wringing

They're numbered in show order so you can get the flow of the conversation.

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42 minutes ago, Pukingpearl said:

I don't think they'll think of it that way. They'll think the struggles adapting to adult life as their daughters wrestling with sins like selfishness or greed. If they'd only put their husbands/families/God first, then they wouldn't be having such a hard time.

Yeah. I don't think JB and Michelle are capable of thinking that they should have made any parenting choice differently. I don't even think the choices they made regarding Josh they regret-- just that they didn't hide it better.

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23 minutes ago, choralcrusader8613 said:

It was on the episode "Duggars Down the Aisle", when the Duggars went to Priscilla and David Waller's wedding. The girls were talking with the show crew about "what kind of guy they look for". Here are the screencaps, courtesty of wtffundiefamilies:

  1. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401443395/see-if-opposites-always-attracted-youd-pair
  2. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401623045/and-then-jessa-gets-way-too-real-by-expressing-an
  3. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401884455/jinger-is-about-five-seconds-away-from-wringing

They're numbered in show order so you can get the flow of the conversation.

Big difference between Jill there and Jill now. She's really not content! 

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11 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

@onekidanddone don't get me started on the heirarchy/racism in Judasim. Every time I've gone into a mainline shul, I've been met with "you don't look Jewish", "who are your parents?", "Are you adopted?" "Is that your real hair?"

I got so sick of being marginalised by my own people that I stopped even trying to be part of that community. It's lonley, and some days i miss the close religious community I grew up in, but they are way too restrictive for me...

It's sad, but there are a lot of people with their heads stuffed so far up their butts that the idea that someone may look different or practice their beliefs differently does not make them lesser is just incomprehensible.

Absolutely this! "Is that your own hair"?  What the fuck is wrong with somebody to ask that kind of question. It is heartbreaking that you can't feel welcome in your own community. Are there more open shuls in your area?  I don't know where you live, but this might be a good resource 

http://www.jewishmultiracialnetwork.org/resources-2/welcoming-synagogues/.  Have you thought about creating your own community?  I'me part of a very small chavurah made up of a handful of families.  We are all either Jews of Color and/or have non-Jewish partners. All of us felt unwelcome in standard brick and mortar shuls.  The issue for me is that i'm getting more and more social phobic every day.  So it really does not matter how nice people are, I still just want to stay home.  That being said, I hope you can find like minded people near you.  You are not alone, people are out t here.  The hard part is finding them.

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57 minutes ago, choralcrusader8613 said:

It was on the episode "Duggars Down the Aisle", when the Duggars went to Priscilla and David Waller's wedding. The girls were talking with the show crew about "what kind of guy they look for". Here are the screencaps, courtesty of wtffundiefamilies:

  1. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401443395/see-if-opposites-always-attracted-youd-pair
  2. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401623045/and-then-jessa-gets-way-too-real-by-expressing-an
  3. http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/140401884455/jinger-is-about-five-seconds-away-from-wringing

They're numbered in show order so you can get the flow of the conversation.

OMG I've never liked Jill but this just sealed it for me! Ugh. She deserves Derrick and her ass should be content wherever he leads her. Ugh. But Joy's face through all those screen caps are giving me life. She looks ready to pop someone in the mouth!

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On 4/22/2017 at 7:47 AM, twinmama said:

Eh, I am a big proponent of treat the kid not the fever. My kid had a fever around 100-101 for 5 days a few weeks ago but he was acting like his normal self. Slept well, ate well, was up and playing. It was just a cold and his temp would spike in the late afternoon. I was about to call the doc if it didn't go down after day 5 but it ended up going away that night. 

That said, who knows if Jill is just knowing her specific kid and how his body works or if she's being an uneducated moron. 

      I am this way too. However, being in El Salvador would make me a bit more worried not sure if Izzy is fully vaccinated, Zika, pathogens in water......

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I mean are there any pictures better than the progression of Joy's face of utter infuriation (?) in these pictures??

 

joy1.jpg

joy2.jpg

joy.jpg

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5 hours ago, SuhrEnity said:

I mean are there any pictures better than the progression of Joy's face of utter infuriation (?) in these pictures??

joy1.jpg

joy2.jpg

joy.jpg

Looked at this screenshot on the Tumbler page, and now I can't stop thinking of the matchmaker song from "Fiddler on the Roof." 

"For Mee-chelle, make him a (biblical) scholar, for Jim-Bob, make him rich as a King, for me, well, I wouldn't holler if he was as handsome as anything!!" :pb_lol:

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6 minutes ago, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

Looked at this screenshot on the Tumbler page, and now I can't stop thinking of the matchmaker song from "Fiddler on the Roof." 

"For Mee-chelle, make him a (biblical) scholar, for Jim-Bob, make him rich as a King, for me, well, I wouldn't holler if he was as handsome as anything!!" :pb_lol:

To quote another Fiddler on the Roof song that fits the Duggars perfectly-- and with almost no lyric change! -- :P

"And who does mama (Jana) teach to mend and tend and fix / preparing me to marry whoever Papa picks/ the daughters, the daughters"! 

 

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Just want to go back to that video for minute.

It looks to me like that video was shot a few months ago (given Derick's hair). Israel only turn 2 a few months ago.

So, Israel wasn't even 2 when displaying these so called "manipulative" behaviors. More like 20 months. That's a huge difference in development at that age. 

I don't know, thinking about that just made it that much worse to me. 

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I'm sure it's been mentioned before, but I found it very telling when J and D were in the restaurant with Izzy. Derick asked Jill what her goals were for the next 12 months and she turned it around straight away and asked what his goals were.

She made it seem like she was not capable of individual thought and his goals were her goals.

People can refuse to grow up and take responsibility for their position in life.

I have a brother who still lays fault on our parents and he is in his 50's.

I was not sure what my ideal job was until my late 40's.

 We did not have to contend with a fundy upbringing.  I can see where Jill would have no idea on why she is possibly unhappy and what to do about it.

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There are also the types of people who just can't be alone. My ex was that way. Within a couple weeks of us splitting he had someone else who was SO wrong for him. He's never NOT been in a relationship. 

Jill I think is just completely sheltered and insecure. 

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@front hugs > duggs @onekidanddone thanks so much for your kind words. I live in a place with a very small active Jewish community, and the vast majority of those are Conservative or Orthodox Ashkenazim who seem ill equipped or inclined to accept anyone different. My home community is even more extreme in many of their beliefs (hence my escape), but they were much more accepting of people from different backgrounds or traditions (as long as they towed the Rabbi's line publicly). I will check out the link you sent me - I'm dealing with some depression at the moment, and my beliefs are ossilatating all over the place, so I don't know that I feel up to new people or any kind of religion right now, but it's nice to know that there are groups out there that I might be welcomed in. 

As an aside, Birthright was a bloody nightmare for me. One of the questions on the application form asked if both sets of grandparents were Jewish, then followed with "if not, why _____" - how would I know why? I wasn't there, and they were all long dead (Best guess is my maternal Grandmother either had a thing for tall, muscular gingers or really wanted to go above and beyond in the field of pissing her father off, and figured marrying a Norwegian who practiced the old ways was good medal material, and don't even getting me started on the other side).  I couldn't even bing myself to try to fill out that form. So unwelcoming.

/endrant :kitty-cussing:

Anyway, sometimes people really suck. It makes me especially thankfully for the good ones out there :my_heart:

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Ugh I was going to go into an extensive rant about Jill's comment about "only focusing on the death of Jesus", but it looks like you guys pretty much said most of my thoughts ;)

On that note, it shows how much Jill has zero understanding of liturgical calendar of lent, holy week, and easter (btw is 50 days) of the people who supposedly have the "wrong understanding of the gospel". Focus too much on the death and suffering? Like God forbid religious people treat the sacrifice of Jesus with some sense of reverence, appreciate, and respect instead of simply celebrating with eggs and cookies one sunday. Ugh there is so much fundamentally wrong with her statement it makes me question if she even grasps the basic theology of christianity. 

Jill and Derick, you have literally NOTHING to teach or offer these people, go home. 

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26 minutes ago, Kittikatz said:

@front hugs > duggs @onekidanddone thanks so much for your kind words. I live in a place with a very small active Jewish community, and the vast majority of those are Conservative or Orthodox Ashkenazim who seem ill equipped or inclined to accept anyone different. My home community is even more extreme in many of their beliefs (hence my escape), but they were much more accepting of people from different backgrounds or traditions (as long as they towed the Rabbi's line publicly). I will check out the link you sent me - I'm dealing with some depression at the moment, and my beliefs are ossilatating all over the place, so I don't know that I feel up to new people or any kind of religion right now, but it's nice to know that there are groups out there that I might be welcomed in. 

As an aside, Birthright was a bloody nightmare for me. One of the questions on the application form asked if both sets of grandparents were Jewish, then followed with "if not, why _____" - how would I know why? I wasn't there, and they were all long dead (Best guess is my maternal Grandmother either had a thing for tall, muscular gingers or really wanted to go above and beyond in the field of pissing her father off, and figured marrying a Norwegian who practiced the old ways was good medal material, and don't even getting me started on the other side).  I couldn't even bing myself to try to fill out that form. So unwelcoming.

/endrant :kitty-cussing:

Anyway, sometimes people really suck. It makes me especially thankfully for the good ones out there :my_heart:

I deferentially agree people suck. My kid is 13 an  I've never had my daughter "converted".  When she was adopted she was terrified of having water poured on her head.   You can imagine how hard it was to give her a bath, let alone dunk her three times in a mikva.  I also found it offensive that I'd have to pay three Rabbis who I didn't even know and sit before them like some tribunal. I guessing she won't qualify for Birthright. Oh well.  The Jew-ish summer camp she goes to has a Israel trip for high school age kids.  She has been going to the camp for many years and nobody has ever asked if she was "really Jewish".  So that is good.

I am proud of my Jewish heritage, but have always felt abandoned and unwanted from the Jewish community. Started in Sunday school when my learning disability prevented me from keeping up with Hebrew. I could go on and on, but I think you understand.

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I wonder how Jill would explain she has the right understanding of the Bible? We can both read the same KJV and see things differently. Jill just seems to spout talking points without any underlying understanding. Jesus spoke in parables but the Duggars and their ilk never mention any of those parables. My guess is that they don't actually understand those parables. It seems like they don't mention Jesus much at all. They surely don't preach his teachings. I think they would be disappointed if they met Jesus because he wouldn't be hateful and would turn it on them and ask what they have truly done for others. 

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6 hours ago, anjulibai said:

snipped...

So, Israel wasn't even 2 when displaying these so called "manipulative" behaviors. More like 20 months. That's a huge difference in development at that age. 

I don't know, thinking about that just made it that much worse to me. 

Somewhere on here it mentioned some guy named Voddie B.  He is big with the homeschool types and it kinda makes me wonder if Derrick reads his book.  

Derrick wasn't raised Gothard and God Save Us From The Converted.

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Yeah Voddie thinks newborns are manipulative and he complained because someone told him she only spanked her toddler 3 times whereas he thinks that 3 times before breakfast is normal and so she was obviously a push over parent failing to raise a kid.:tw_angry:

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"Manipulative" implies someone knows they're using emotions to get someone else to do what they want, but how could a toddler know if they are deliberately manipulating another person? Is a two year old saying "I love you..." to their parents still manipulation if they depend entirely on their parents for everything, including for emotional nurturing (such as saying, "I love you too, Miho!" to your little boy instead of assuming he's looking to "butter you up"? :pb_rollseyes:)

Derrick should take a cue from the locals and say a rosary or two before talking to the press or posting on instagram anymore. If he traded out the "Hail Marys" for nothing but "Lords' Prayers" he wouldn't be breaking the cult rules, and it might calm his ass down before he has a chance to say something that will make him sound like a  total douchecanoe.

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