Safe at Home 2: The Continuing Adventures of The Arndts

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

1 hour ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I think fundies make themselves gods to their children by isolating them from others, not allowing teachers, coaches, or community leaders to have their children's hearts and later on, possibly not even allowing them to find a mate.

@Eternalbluepearl I totally agree on fundie parents making themselves gods.

Fundies spend so much time and energy keeping their children away from the evil outside world and teaching them that only the family is good and godly that the end result is the parents become the children/ grown children's sole, total focus.

I firmly believe that this is by design and on purpose. An authoritarian patriarch who is completely obeyed would be loath to give up any control of his children.  Many of them don't let go even when a son marries -- Steve Maxwell for example.  Then are are all the SAHD who have yet to have their own lives -- the Botkinettes, the Maxwells, the Duggars for example.

Lots of the fundies we discuss insist that their man boys work in the family business, to keep contact with the evil world to a minimum.  The Arndt manboys are out and about more than most, but R&C's brainwashing is strong and they all seem unaffected by contact with "normal" people. 

Question always is though -- what happens those fundie kidults when the parents die?  Who is going to tell them what to do? How will they cope without parents that control their every move?  Are they even capable of making decisions for themselves?

TL;DR:  I think for all their talk of having big families for God, most fundies would be happy if their children never married, never left home, Because the goal is not to raise generations of godly children.  The real goal is to keep the family isolated and insulated from the evil world.  All of them, forever "safe at home."

[nokidsmom]

3 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

>snip<but Wizzy could still love her parents and even help them when they are older but still have her own life outside of Arndt-ville

She absolutely could, it happens all the time with people who have their own lives and families to look after, but that doesn't mean they don't love their parents and will help when they need it as they age.  However, not sure Cathy would want even that.   Household work seems to fall along gender lines AFAIK, the manboys do the house maintenance and repair plus are handy at building and Cathy / Wizzy seem to do the household chores (cooking, shopping, laundry) while Rick is in his own world of the neverending Vine Valley.  I am sure Cathy is very used to having Wizzy around to keep up, and if she would to leave the home, that means (assuming no else leaves) that Cathy is solely responsible for 15 people.  

3 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

It's all about the parent and because fundies drag their parenting years out for so long, they make sure they are praised for as long as possible for having a large family and "doing it all!" It seems self-serving but at the same time "look at what a sacrifice we have made for our kids."

I agree.  And I think a lot of fundie families, R&C included, fall into this not only for the kudos but they also become over reliant on their kids in terms of household / financial support (like the Bateseseses) but they also can become emotionally dependent on their kids, because the kids are seen as extensions of them, who define who they are.  So that's why you have a family like the Maxwells weeping and wailing over Nathan getting married and leaving the family home, never mind he's going to be living just down the street!  And not to get too personal about this, this is how my parents carried on when I got married, just like the Maxwells.  No wonder it was 10 years before my sister got married.

3 hours ago, nausicaa said:

I also wonder what happens when someone who only knows two or three of them and doesn't know the extent of the crazy finds out they're single and tries to set them up with some similarly aged female friend who loves softball. Do they accept? Do they hide behind the rules of "courtship"? Are they just really scared and freaked out? It has to have happened.

IIRC, sometime back there was someone who posted about some girl attending the softball classics who was interested one of the manboys (Luke I think).   He didn't respond favorably, can't remember if he was scared or what. Girl moved on and got married a year later (missed your chance, Luke).  I can't believe that's the only story out there. There's bound to be others.  Edited to add: found the post here 

ETA: @church_of_dog thanks for the recommendation!

[sparrow]

So this may be one of the creepier things I've ever done.  But @nokidsmom's comment about Rick "swooping in with a long drive and a soda" struck me.  I've subscribed to Dad's Diary for awhile now, and always got the impression that some kids (using the term loosely here) were mentioned far more than others.  It seemed like I was always hearing about Luke, Mark, and Mary-Elizabeth going off for sodas with Dad, but rarely much about the ones in the middle.  My boringish workday propelled me to perform a little experiment. 

I give you, Fig. A:  Average Arndt child mentions per month, represented graphically. 

My sample size was admittedly too small to be very scientifically sound.  I only looked over the past four months, and the numbers probably fluctuate over the course of the year based on what's going on with each person.  Also, these are just times their name was mentioned in Dad's Diary, not actual times they've partaken in the infamous "meeting on wheels"... which would have been more labor-intensive to dig through.  But these initial findings did pique my interest.  Are Rick and Luke just closer than the rest?  Or is he one of the more restless ones who Rick recognizes needs extra "handling" to keep him content with his situation?  Is Nathan, who's in his early 20s, just not interested in spending time with Dad at this age in his life?  Is he the family's most likely candidate to one day break out and want something different?  (FreeNathan?)  Who knows... This family is just so mysterious...

 

[Suz8710]

Omg @sparrow that's awesome! I find it fascinating - official or not . I'm curious (I don't subscribe to Dad's Diary)...Dad's Diary is still a regular thing on the famteam site? 

It's interesting that Luke & ME are significantly higher on there, and happen to be very close to each other.

[JenniferJuniper]

10 hours ago, sparrow said:

I give you, Fig. A:  Average Arndt child mentions per month, represented graphically.  Is he the family's most likely candidate to one day break out and want something different?  (FreeNathan?)  Who knows... This family is just so mysterious...

From simply reading his comments,  this appears to me to be accurate.

Question is, are the "Fountain Soda Kids" the favorites, or the ones who need the most attention to assure continuous assimilation with the Fam collective?  Without going into detail, my own guess is that Nate - dead last on the soda scale - is one of Rick's lesser worries.   

Or maybe he just prefers his Coke in a can?

[ladyamylynn]

I genuinely believe he talks about his favorites and ignores the "problem" children.

[JenniferJuniper]

9 hours ago, ladyamylynn said:

I genuinely believe he talks about his favorites and ignores the "problem" children.

You could be right.  But an all-controlling patriarch who ignores problem "children" risks losing control of those children, something that has never happened to Rick. 

It's very hard to discern what's really going on with the Arndts because everything we see is heavily filtered by Rick.  My own guess is that he wants to talk to the bread-winning boys to stay in touch with how things are going and keep tabs on how much bread they are bringing in for him, and the others are ones he thinks may be in need of more "encouragement".   

[Hane]

I'm wondering: Based on the number of Arndt kidults who are employed and bringing in paychecks and their estimated salaries, wouldn't Rick and Cathy be getting a pretty substantial payday just for sitting on their @$$es?

I know there's court reporting and professional photography going on, but what else?

[Suz8710]

Hmm "not yet..."

Be careful Rick, wait too long & not yet will turn into not ever.

[gustava]

11 hours ago, Suz8710 said:

Hmm "not yet..."

Be careful Rick, wait too long & not yet will turn into not ever.

NOT EVER!!!!!!

[Carm_88]

As the years continue to pass and there have been no signs of the female species near the male Arndt boys, not ever is becoming a strong possibility.  

I don't know about Mary Elizabeth. 

[Letgo]

6 hours ago, gustava said:

NOT EVER!!!!!!

We have a winner! "Not yet!" Could that have actually been a serious answer? It soooo should have been NOT EVER!!!!!!! as Gustava correctly answered. The oldest Arndt is going to be 37 in 3 weeks. Neither he, nor any of his adult siblings has a spouse or an apparent SO. No courtships have ever been announced for any of them. All still live at home in shared bedrooms. So that's a big NO on the grandchildren idea. Why would anyone even need to ask the grandchildren question of the Arndts?

[nokidsmom]

10 minutes ago, Letgo said:

 Why would anyone even need to ask the grandchildren question of the Arndts?

Either someone who is not paying close attention to the obvious family weirdness (along the lines of "what a nice happy family!)  or maybe it was sarcasm.  I am leaning toward the former as some people see what they want to see.

R&C probably think they will be grandparents some day and probably even express the hope that their children will have their own families while totally missing they are playing a large part in preventing it from ever happening.   

[Gobsmacked]

Leg Humpers are not generally able to think things through very deeply for themselves me thinks. 

[nokidsmom]

4 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Leg Humpers are not generally able to think things through very deeply for themselves me thinks. 

Exactly, as we have seen with many fans of those we snark on here.

[0 kids n not countin]

Like mother like daughter, sigh, just sigh....

[Carm_88]

Holllllly shit! Dear god Cathy, Mary Elizabeth is wayyyy too old for you to be playing dress up with now. Jesus! Let her dress her own style. Whatever that shall be. 

[Lurky]

It'll be interesting to see what happens to the Arndts' reputation if this continues.  They can just about make excuses for why none of their kids are married/engaged, but imagine if it's the same in 5 years time - or 10!

Though I'm holding out hope the men in their 20s and 30s aren't really living in dorms, have secret lives with partners, and there'll be some monstrous 10-couple wedding that makes the Bower/Bontrager nuptials look tiny!

[seraaa]

26 minutes ago, Lurky said:

It'll be interesting to see what happens to the Arndts' reputation if this continues.  They can just about make excuses for why none of their kids are married/engaged, but imagine if it's the same in 5 years time - or 10!

Though I'm holding out hope the men in their 20s and 30s aren't really living in dorms, have secret lives with partners, and there'll be some monstrous 10-couple wedding that makes the Bower/Bontrager nuptials look tiny!

This is my hope also!

Either that, or one of them just cracks and elopes. 

[VVV]

5 hours ago, seraaa said:

Either that, or one of them just cracks and elopes. 

They don't need to elope. They need to just leave. Actually I think they would be better served (as would any future women they might want to marry) to Faith Pennington themselves out of there and figure out how to be adults first.

[Tangy Bee]

On 8/23/2017 at 6:50 PM, 0 kids n not countin said:

Like mother like daughter, sigh, just sigh....

Fundies rocking short shorts! Seriously, that blouse is too old looking for her. 

[Howl]

6 hours ago, Lurky said:

and there'll be some monstrous 10-couple wedding

Yup, sort of a Seven Brides for Seven Brothers type thing.  Somewhere on the planet there has to be a mirror image family with 13 daughters of just the right age. 

[Palimpsest]

17 minutes ago, Howl said:

Somewhere on the planet there has to be a mirror image family with 13 daughters of just the right age. 

The 7 farmgirl sisters have been suggested many times for the 7 older Arndts.  http://sevenfarmgirlsisters.com/

I always grumble and object because the 7 sisters have so much more - oomph!  Independence! Joy! Fun! Get up and go! Life!  Moving beyond the box!  

Even when headcovering and wearing terrible dresses.  And being tall.

But they are so sweet. They do not need Rick and Cathy. Or the overly subservient Arndt Bros. 

The 7 sisters are like galumphing Great Dane puppies.  All smooches and waggy tails. And they demonstrate very admirable courage as they document their struggles.

I don't think they would (or should) trade their frumpers for white shortie shorts.  They don't look great on Cathy and ME.  They would look weird on any one of the 7 sisters.

For the love of Rufus, Cathy!  

Don't make ME wear those tiny white shorts!  They are so very 1980s.

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I found a perfect fundie family for the Arndts! They are the Burtts from Michigan. Their ages all match up really well. 12 girls 2 boys. However our dreams of a 13 couple Burndt wedding is gone. For the Burtts in their 30s and mid to late 20s are all married like normal fundies. Sad.

[Lurky]

@Palimpsest I also really like the Seven Sisters - they're probably my pet Fundies.  They're completely bizarre, but as you say, they enjoy themselves, and they do such great things - flying, going to actual college, etc.