Maxwell 8: Not Riveting Our Attention

[FloraDoraDolly]

3 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Unless, maybe, he's a widower with 15 kids (whose wife keeled over from exhaustion) and he's looking for staff.

If this were the 19th century, I'd say Sarah's chances of finding such a gentleman are halfway decent. But in this day and age? Not so much. If a fundie widower in that situation exists, he and his family would have turned up on some other fundie's blog by now:

"Please pray for our Christian homeschooling friends the Jones! Christie May Jones just have birth to her 15th child. While the baby is fine, Christie May experienced complications..."

"Christie May Jones has gone home to be with our Lord. Please keep Kenny and the children in your prayers."

"Kenny Jones and the children came to our homeschooling group last night. It's their first time since Christie May went home to be with the Lord. Baby Gothardiah is doing so well! The other Jones children were smiling and singing praises. They are never sad because they know their mama went home to be with the Lord."

"Our family is headed out to Big Sandy, along with the Williams and the Evans. We're one big caravan for the Lord! The biggest blessing of all. The Jones will be joining us!"

"Here we are in Big Sandy. No, the children in the photograph aren't all ours! We are looking after six of the Jones children while their father takes care of some business."

"A big announcement from Kenny Jones! He is entered a courtship with a lovely woman who has been waiting on the Lord for a spouse..."

[love2scrap]

10 hours ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

If this were the 19th century, I'd say Sarah's chances of finding such a gentleman are halfway decent. But in this day and age? Not so much. If a fundie widower in that situation exists, he and his family would have turned up on some other fundie's blog by now:

Those fundie names are spot on. I died at Gothardiah 

[lauraloralara]

I've finally gotten a minute to watch some of the Vimeo stuff. Lord in heaven. I died at the end of the "trailer" with "bless these webinars." These guys are such tools. 

And I totally agree about the "preacher voice" - but it wasn't even a good preacher voice. 

[MamaJunebug]

On 4/24/2017 at 6:59 AM, Eternalbluepearl said:

The funny thing to me, is a married 17-year-old mother is not what Steve and his ilk are against. It's the black clothes, the nose piercing, and the woman having short hair. The great thing is that Steve's opinion doesn't matter. No matter how many times a day he reads the Bible or how large the word JESUS is on his living room walls, his opinion is meaningless. He is as far from being like his hero Jesus as one can get and he's not smart enough to see that irony.

I like this to infinity. 

On 4/24/2017 at 4:08 PM, socalrules said:

Repeatedly referencing Teri loving kissing his smooth face sounds like a teenage boy bragging to his friends about getting to second base. It just doesn't sound like something regular adults would repeatedly say in a blog or out loud. 

That's because those folks are not regular. In any way, shape or form.

i was in a good mood and reasonably energetic when I first clicked to read here! Now I want to crawl back under the couch throw  & snarl at anything that moves.   It's not you-all, IT'S STEVE.  Must take break, after saying it once again: thank heaven I'm not a Maxgal ~ !!!

[Mela99]

I can't believe he would say that kissy stuff. I'd more believe he'd brand Teri as a wanton harlot for giving him unsolicited affection

[kpmom]

New post up in which Sarah is pushing the set of Moody books with this line;

"Real life adventure. It’s what I write. It’s what I breathe. Hello, Moody Family!"

If you say so, Sarah.

[Captain Obvious]

9 minutes ago, kpmom said:

New post up in which Sarah is pushing the set of Moody books with this line;

"Real life adventure. It’s what I write. It’s what I breathe. Hello, Moody Family!"

If you say so, Sarah.

That doesn't sound like anything she's ever written. Almost as if were created by a random post generator that's been infected by TFDW, in virus form.

[Dandruff]

She breathes real life adventure?  I don't think so.

[childerowland]

1 hour ago, kpmom said:

New post up in which Sarah is pushing the set of Moody books with this line;

"Real life adventure. It’s what I write. It’s what I breathe. Hello, Moody Family!"

If you say so, Sarah.

'Adventure' is certainly pushing it...

[Dandruff]

17 minutes ago, childerowland said:

'Adventure' is certainly pushing it...

I'll agree that she breathes.

[mango_fandango]

Pimping her dull-as-ditchwater book series again? Real life adventure? If she thinks that such hilarious things as a toddler grabbing her father's arm with a beany hand and slipping into a river whilst on a hike is exciting and an adventure, she has no fucking clue. 

[Jana814]

I think the only reason why Sarah wrote the books was she had nothing better to do. She could not get a job, is not allowed to have any outside interest and Steve needed a way to push their believes to a younger group. 

[mydoggoskeeper]

That video makes me sad.  Sarah and I are about the same age and yet she seems so stunted.  Cochella aside, I can't see a mid 30s woman in a cardi and a side pony with a fake flower in her hair.  

In another world, Sarah could have been a kindergarten teacher -- she certainly has that voice!  

Her examples of "adventure" include homeschooling, an "emergency", starting home based businesses and Ill go out on a limb here.... climbing 14ers.     She is so sheltered she has no clue what might be out there in the world beyond what Stevehovah lets her see.   Oh the irony as she begins the video exhaling books as a way to experience something new.  

She mentions negative influences several times but doesn't say what they might be.  In Maxhell that could be fun,  creativity, intellectual curiosity, independent thought, spending time with people outside your family,  traveling abroad ALONE <gasp>.   Oh, and of course contrasting buttons.  

[Palimpsest]

"Imagine that.  Brothers and sisters who love each other!"  I can't speak for the rest of you Godless heathens but I'm really very fond of my brother.

They can't even be bothered to update that old video plugging the Moody books.  I thought Sarah was writing a new series too.  I can't wait!

I only read the first Moody book all the way through when it was a free download for Kindle.  It is dreadful and shows how deadly dull the "real life" of the Maxwells must be.

They also put up a free chapter of Colorado with the Moodys at one point.  The Moodys forget to take spare socks or a first aid kit on a hike so they can grift socks and bandaids from fellow hikers and use it as an excuse to witness.  

[freejugar]

"never a dull moment" says the letter

[Black Aliss]

On 4/11/2017 at 1:41 PM, Palimpsest said:

@Naga Viper, that guy in the middle.  Consider me thoroughly defrauded! 

You'll have to fight me for him. <fans herself> Is it warm in here, or is it just me?

[PennySycamore]

@FloraDoraDolly,  your post reminds me that I've told my girls that I hate, loathe and despise the term "she went home to be with the lord".  If they put that in my obit, I'll come back to haunt them!

[childerowland]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Pimping her dull-as-ditchwater book series again? Real life adventure? If she thinks that such hilarious things as a toddler grabbing her father's arm with a beany hand and slipping into a river whilst on a hike is exciting and an adventure, she has no fucking clue. 

Hang on...there were the exploding bratwursts!! They were mildly exciting.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, childerowland said:

Hang on...there were the exploding bratwursts!! They were mildly exciting.

Exploding bratwurst?! 

Were they at Oktoberfest?!

I am kidding of course. I know they would never do anything as normal as Oktoberfest. Imagine... the beer. The lederhosen. The Polka!!! 

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, freejugar said:

"never a dull moment" says the letter

Hmm...if there was a dull moment, that may imply there were moments around the dull moment that were not dull.  But if it's dull in its entirety there could be no identifiably dull moments.  Is that what she's trying to say?

[spookytwoshoes]

"Imagine that. Brothers and sisters who love each other."

For fuck's sake. The Maxwell family hasn't cornered the market of loving families. I have a shit ton of brothers and sister, and I'm pretty sure we all love each other just fine. They need to pipe the fuck down.  

 

 

[Mommit]

Wasn't Sarah starting her new book a year ago? I remember she took a trip to a nearby town to do "research" or something. What's taking so long? What else does she do all day?? I still can't believe she's in her 30's. That is extremely sad.

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

@FloraDoraDolly,  your post reminds me that I've told my girls that I hate, loathe and despise the term "she went home to be with the lord".  If they put that in my obit, I'll come back to haunt them!

Seriously.  I've told Mr. P that my obituary may only say: "she shuffled off this mortal coil but her ashes will be pushing up the daisies."

I think it appropriate because it sort of combines English Lit., cremation (so much tidier), and gardening. 

[fundiefan]

21 hours ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

Mary is the only likely candidate unless Anna finds herself a John-David Duggar type who is still single and still going to homeschooling conferences with his parents and younger siblings. And Sarah would be older than a lot of the dads. If there is a single fundie man pushing forty at that conference, he's probably trolling for young girls who can birth a lot of babies and are less set in their ways. He won't want a woman his own age.

Well, there was Tim Robertson for Tabitha Paine. The single, older men are out there for the, um, less concerting father of an aging SAHD. He just has to look and pay attention; Steve, though, believes god will drop a husband for his daughters in his lap, while at home, during one of his many 'special bible times'.

[mango_fandango]

22 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Well, there was Tim Robertson for Tabitha Paine. The single, older men are out there for the, um, less concerting father of an aging SAHD. He just has to look and pay attention; Steve, though, believes god will drop a husband for his daughters in his lap, while at home, during one of his many 'special bible times'.

And of course Steve is a deluded dickhead. How he can look at his family and believe he's done the right thing is beyond me.