JinJer: When Shorts Attack!

[shiverful]

4 hours ago, snickers34 said:

I get particularly squicky about the body shaming, even for Josh. It's the one addiction/struggle where everyone knows it immediately. After all he's been through, if a few extra pounds is the worst of it, I'd call it good. Not that I'm defending the perv, just admitting that I think the weight is understandable all things considered.

Agreed! And also: body shaming "bad people" also contributes to other people feeling bad about their own bodies. 

A few years ago, I was struggling with my weight. I wasn't obese, but still overweight and overeating. No one ever said anything to me about it, but hearing a friend or co-worker talking about how a random celebrity or distant friend had "let him- or herself go" defenetly made me feel bad and insecure about myself and it really triggered my impulses to overeat. 

[Fighter]

Hmm wonder if one of the twins is in pre courtship. I know that's one of Janas friends but you never know!

[snickers34]

@Fighter - Jana's friend is like 31, so a courtship with one of the 18yo twins would be odd even for this family...

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, snickers34 said:

@Fighter - Jana's friend is like 31, so a courtship with one of the 18yo twins would be odd even for this family...

There was definitely speculation a long time ago that she might be courting JD, but I feel like if that was going to happen it would've already happened by now. Unless he's just been trying to work up the nerve to ask her, and then she'd have one of those awful, "I patiently gave him over to the Lord and waited for him to notice me for eight years" courtship stories.

[Stormy]

I had a different version of this typed out initially, but decided it was too specific and, therefore, in bad taste in regards to speculation and body shaming.

The essence of what I wanted to say, though, is that I hope the Duggar women are able to embrace how differently pregnancy, motherhood, and age are going to affect each of them. On top of having sixteen uneventful pregnancies that resulted in healthy children (barring Josie, Caleb, and Jubilee), Michelle went back to being relatively slim once the constant pregnancies stopped. Also, if you can look past the perm and fake tan, she seems to be aging pretty gracefully and looks to be as healthy as someone who's birthed nineteen children can be. I'm afraid that her daughters are going to compare their experiences with those of their mother and be disappointed, and then beat themselves up for not being "content". I know there have been multiple statements from many of them about accepting whatever God has planned for them, but it's abundantly clear that they still have expectations.

[moodygirl86]

On 23.03.2017 at 5:09 PM, Jinder Roles said:

@Pasta, I'm absolutely appalled and hurt that you would appropriate the struggles of rocks and their guardians. I already told Rocky that I was going to invite your rock over for a play date sometime. Now I have to tell her the bad news. 

People like you are the reason my rock has trust issues! 

 

 

Fun fact: I actually did have a 'pet' rock for  about 2 days in pre-school. True story. 

 

 

 

What about Father Jack's pet brick?

 

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, snickers34 said:

The Duggars firmly believe in regulating my uterus - what's the harm in speculating on theirs?

Do we really want to descend to their level?  Pro-choice means staying out of other people's uteri and personal reproductive decisions.

Also the more attention and speculation about their endless propagation gets - the longer their proselytizing against birth control stays on TV. 

Really, the endless speculation - quite aside from the body-shaming aspect, and it is there - does get on my nerves.  It reminds me of some vicious old biddies (of both genders) who stared at my flat stomach for years and gossiped behind my back.  It really is distasteful.

[Kangaroo]

Can I also add, of all the married siblings, Jinger has basically lived the past 6 months away from her family, away from social media, and quite possibly, away from filming of Counting On.

As yet, we have no proof of her trying to attract attention to her Uterus, or even the rest of her body. She hasn't played Schrödinger's Uterus with the public yet. Her and Jeremy have remained relatively low profile since marrying.

I don't think it's right to speculate about any of these women, but especially not someone who isn't feeding us any sort of breadcrumbs.

If on the next season of the show all we see is Jinger constantly talking about her Uterus and starting a family and the other family members dropping "is she or isn't she" clues, then maybe it's fair game to speculate wether or not she's having a child. 

[Stormy]

1 minute ago, Kangaroo said:

Can I also add, of all the married siblings, Jinger has basically lived the past 6 months away from her family, away from social media, and quite possibly, away from filming of Counting On.

As yet, we have no proof of her trying to attract attention to her Uterus, or even the rest of her body. She hasn't played Schrödinger's Uterus with the public yet. Her and Jeremy have remained relatively low profile since marrying.

I don't think it's right to speculate about any of these women, but especially not someone who isn't feeding us any sort of breadcrumbs.

If on the next season of the show all we see is Jinger constantly talking about her Uterus and starting a family and the other family members dropping "is she or isn't she" clues, then maybe it's fair game to speculate wether or not she's having a child. 

I think the whole Ark trip was innocuous enough; I know I posted about positioning the little girls' heads in front of her stomach, but I don't really suspect that Jinger was intending to drum up attention (there were also kids in front of Anna, who you think would be front and center to so how far along she was). Also, the pictures from the trip can hardly be found anywhere, and were mostly contributed by fans. I think Jinger just wanted to catch up with her family and spend the day somewhere "nice" (to them, at least). It's pretty extreme for anyone to go from living at home to being hundreds of miles away, so a visit was warranted.

[eleanora3]

3 hours ago, Stormy said:

6. The little girls strategically arranged in front of Jinger's belly. Clever!

Here's a pic of Jinger not covered by anyone

[calimojo]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I disagree.  I also think the non-stop speculation is distasteful.

You can apparently read the Duggars' minds.

True.  Their brand does depend on many, many, babies these days.  If non-stop pregnancies are the only way for them to keep attention, perhaps stopping speculation about the tiniest of imaginary bulges in their bellies and ignoring their pregnancies is the best thing to do.  Why encourage them?

nice break down of my post. 

 

My overall point is not that we should speculate or that we should feed into it, but that to speculate about jinger or the other married females is not exactly the same thing as speculating on a random person with  a bit of a tummy.  It isn't body shaming.  It is a natural consequence of their unnatural and financially incentivised obsession with having baby after baby.  If that is their brand,  then it is not surprising that people will speculate on the women from the moment they kick off the honeymoon, or in Jessa's case, even while still at the church (remember the rumors they were getting sexy in a closet at the church?)

 

Even without a picture showing a slight, actually very slight tummy,  people have been speculating.  It was speculated because she was not being photographed,  then it was speculated because she was photographed.  It would be speculated about even if she looks to have lost weight because you just know someone would speculate that she isn't eating due to morning sickness.   

 

Right or wrong, these women will continue to be suspected of being ins some sort of pregnant state as long as they are public people.  Their parents have relegated their value to that of breeders for Jesus.  And TLC is milking it as well. 

 

They could have easily named a show about the newlywed Duggars something like Starting Out,  Or even "just Married", but no,  they also went for a title that squarely puts the magnifying glass on the concept of having more babies.  Babies are a business for them.  Speculating if one of them is pregnant is akin to wondering what the fresh catch of the day is at Red Lobster. 

 

If Jinger/Jeremy don't want to be a part of this invasive speculation or just the duggar circus in general,  they could walk away.  They wouldn't live as high on the hog as the duggars have grown to like, but they could live comfortably on Jeremy's salary and Jinger's earnings from years of the show. 

 

My empathy towards these young women isn't because people speculate they are pregnant,  it is because of all of it: the cult, the terrible parenting, the lacking education, the lack of opportunities, the rigid gender roles, the horrible internalization of sin they all have, the hateful beliefs they have been taught that are actually the antithesis of Christianity, the patriarchy,etc.  I feel for these girls who obviously are fairly bright young women, that they are so limited because of decisions their parents made before they were even born, or shortly after.  And I feel for the ones who are now saddled with marriages that they may feel trapped in, and that their partners may desire to perpetuate the patriarchal cultish life.     

 

 

[send*the*ferrets]

I feel like anna is basically doomed either way. She wants lots of babies. She entered into the marriage wanting 10+ kids. Clearly Josh isn't happy with that- that plan has led to him cheating, and he doesn't look quite himself now. If he "puts his foot down" and says no- she will be miserable. He would be going back on the agreement they made before they got married. But if they keep going, he isn't happy with that either. Catch 22. 

Obviously fundies are a whole different ballgame, but if after having our first kid my husband had said, "sorry- I don't want any more"- I would have really struggled with that. I had made it clear before we got married I wanted at least two- if he changed the game plan, I would have felt a little cheated. I don't know if it's the same when you have 5 kids, but I think one partner changing the plan unilaterally is still upsetting.

[Bad Wolf]

I really don't care if Jinger is pregnant. We'll find out in due time.

[snickers34]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

It reminds me of some vicious old biddies (of both genders) who stared at my flat stomach for years and gossiped behind my back.  It really is distasteful.

I hear you. Sounds like you're more personally bothered by seeing it here than anything else. What I'm saying is I don't actually think the Duggars think it's distasteful - I don't think it's considered 'descending to their level' because speculating about babies is a good thing to them. Babies are what they do once you're married. Whatever, semantics. 

[calimojo]

I must live in a weird vacuum, but no one that I know of spends time staring a women's bodies and gossiping if they are pregnant or not, in real life.  Maybe there are some subsets of the culture of my area, that do this, but I certainly have never encountered it.  The only time I hear speculation on a woman's body is if there is extreme thinness and people worry about an eating disorder.  Otherwise,  no one that I no of sits around and tries to guess who is or isn't pregnant  in their work group, social circle, etc. 

I do imagine that some families might be pushing about having kids, but most of the men and women that I work with don't spend much time on this discussion, any more than a casual question, such as are you and and Mike thinking of having kids?  And if the person says 'someday maybe" or "yep, ASAP", or "We aren't sure yet", or "Definitely not",  that is pretty much it. 

Sometimes I wonder if we are internalizing our own issues.  If we are uncomfortable with our body,  do we interpret looks from people as them judging our appearance?    I know that I have done this with things before.  I have always been self conscious about my skin, because I have had adult acne for years.  Sometimes I feel like I have a huge bullseye on my face when I have a break out, only to realize that no one else has seemed to even notice, but my own insecurity causes me to think everytime someone looks at me they are checking out my defects.  

[sansan]

On 3/25/2017 at 8:35 AM, singsingsing said:

Maybe he was there. Maybe he was in the washroom when the pictures were taken or something. Even if he wasn't, I'm not really going to give him points for 'letting' his wife visit her family without him.

Would you want to go if you didn't have to? Kudos to him for having a set. Also, if you don't show up, you don't get paid and JB probably said that exact statement.

[Carm_88]

31 minutes ago, sansan said:

Would you want to go if you didn't have to? Kudos to him for having a set. Also, if you don't show up, you don't get paid and JB probably said that exact statement.

Jeremy was there though. He was in the group pictures. 

[CorruptionInc.]

9 hours ago, moodygirl86 said:

What about Father Jack's pet brick?

 

"I love my brick!"

Father Ted was a wonderful show - such a shame Dermot Morgan passed away all those years ago and more recently, Frank Kelly who played father Jack.

Dougal was my favourite character! Also the best bit character was Graham Norton's Priest - can't remember the name but he was hilarious!

[Scrabblemaster]

I am in this age when some /many friends start their family. At the beginning of this phase I was a little confused, I never knew how to react to a woman of whome I knew she wants a child/is trying to have one. Patiently waiting until they announce, well I am too curious for that and I love to tell Mr. Scrabblemaster that I believe she or she might be pregnant. I know I sound weird, sorry for that. So my personal method to get a hint without directly asking a woman who just ate a huge portion spaghetti is this: when we meet at our place and it is evening I ask if everybody wants a glass of wine/aperitif or something similar depending on the occasion. Just last week we had a couple over for a short visit in the afternoon for coffee and cake, and the woman had a food belly/ post baby belly/ new baby belly? So I asked if she wants coffee or tea... I know my method is not perfect, there are women out there who drink alcohol while being pregnant but most women I know will not. I would love to be sure to say no woman would drink alcohol while she is pregnant but I am not naive. The coffee method is more likely to fail because I know a little bit of coffee a day is allowed and maybe the women knew we had very good coffee and saved her daily coffee dose for us. (I know I am a bit crazy). 

with fundies I would have to use the coffee method, because jesus meant grape juice at the Kanaan wedding, you know .  So if anybody of us freejingers would stand behind jinger at starbucks and she would order a decaf ... we might know.

I have one very good friend and when she comes over I ask: Do you want a glass of wine or are you pregnant? But i would never ever do so if I knew she had fertility issues. I am not that dumb.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

I drink only decaf (if I have to because I don't like coffee) because caffeine makes me nervous and tachycardic. I am also a teetotaller with few exceptions (I love wine smell, I sometimes like to take a sip just to feel the taste and I love cantuccini with Vin Santo or Recioto). Thanks heaven I am flat bellied.

[nastyhobbitses]

15 hours ago, calimojo said:

I really hope that Jeremy is experiencing some cognitive dissonance when he spends time with his inlaws and their crazy fundie hangers on. 

Perhaps if he is and it is uncomfortable enough for him,  that part of his brain that was taught critical thinking, logic, etc,  will begin to reject some of this bullshit and he can support Jinger to move away from some of the toxic stuff she was marinated in for 22 years. 

 

 

I've said it a whole bunch of times: I do not think Jeremy is going to be Jinger's savior. I think he specifically sought her out as a mate because she's uneducated and easy to manipulate. He'll gladly put up with her crazy family because they keep her meek and skinny and eager to please, and that whole lot of money her dad makes helps too. He might not believe all the absurd things they believe, but if it gets him on TV, gets him a check, and gets him a blow-up doll with a "cook" function, he'll tell you anything you want to hear.

[nickelodeon]

Plus, Jeremy was just on his pregnancy center's FB saying that depression can't be treated by doctors but by confronting your sins, so his critical thinking skills can't be THAT great.

[jerkit]

2 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Plus, Jeremy was just on his pregnancy center's FB saying that depression can't be treated by doctors but by confronting your sins, so his critical thinking skills can't be THAT great.

I saw the video and I don't think it was that blatant. It was more like "if you're sad, you need Jesus." Still shitty for people dealing with clinical depression, but maybe not quite that overt.

[nickelodeon]

He starts out speaking pretty generally about "hopelessness" but about 3/4 of the way through he literally goes there:

Quote

If you're feeling hopeless, if you're feeling depressed, the answer isn't out there, the answer isn't something some doctor can give you, the answer is to look within and see the sin in your own heart and how Jesus Christ can remove that sin, remove the slavery and bondage you have to that sin, and bring you to a relationship with himself

At least he doesn't say to try eating a protein bar (he's non-denominational, not ATI, after all)

[jerkit]

1 minute ago, nickelodeon said:

He starts out speaking pretty generally about "hopelessness" but about 3/4 of the way through he literally goes there:

At least he doesn't say to try eating a protein bar (he's non-denominational, not ATI, after all)

I stand corrected.