Dillards 27 - Allergies, Fever, and the Dangers of Being a White Baby

[Million Children For Jesus]

1 hour ago, Kittikatz said:

I do wonder if they are running away from something. Either an event that's about to break, or just trying to escape their grown up situation in general.

I think he's running away. I think Derick is running away from Jim Bob, and also struggling to cope with Jill's neediness. He probably had no idea what he was getting himself into and feels suffocated. Derick isn't assertive and that's probably why he passed Jim Bob's test, because he wasn't going to challenge the status quo. At the same time, he had previously lived independently, so having all that in-law interference must be overwhelming.

I think he is a big time avoider type who can't cope or handle confrontation. Not with his wife, nor Jim Bob, or anyone. 

Jim Bob told them where they were going to live as newlyweds. As a "gift." He "gifted" them his control of their lives. They were "gifted" to live in Jim Bob's house and therefore, at Jim Bob's mercy. What a crap gift. It's still happening. They will live in Jim Bob's guest house when they return. Derick needs to man up and get a job somewhere far, far away from Jim Bob, and not a runaway fake job in El Salvador. Maybe some "crunchy town" that embraces midwives and doulas, like Austin or Boulder. 

[Mercer]

If the Dillards had local friends in El Salvador, they should be able to find out by just asking around 1.) how people baby-proof their water heaters, or 2.) if for some reason that wouldn't be a possibility, what people do instead to heat their water, which would likely result in all the suggestions that have been made here.

The fact that they apparently see this as a problem without a solution makes me think that either it never crossed their minds that a local could ever impart knowledge to them rather than vice versa, or else they simply don't know anybody because they keep to themselves so much.

[DaniLouisiana]

12 minutes ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

I think he's running away. I think Derick is running away from Jim Bob, and also struggling to cope with Jill's neediness. He probably had no idea what he was getting himself into and feels suffocated. Derick isn't assertive and that's probably why he passed Jim Bob's test, because he wasn't going to challenge the status quo. At the same time, he had previously lived independently, so having all that in-law interference must be overwhelming.

I think he is a big time avoider type who can't cope or handle confrontation. Not with his wife, nor Jim Bob, or anyone. 

Jim Bob told them where they were going to live as newlyweds. As a "gift." He "gifted" them his control of their lives. They were "gifted" to live in Jim Bob's house and therefore, at Jim Bob's mercy. What a crap gift. It's still happening. They will live in Jim Bob's guest house when they return. Derick needs to man up and get a job somewhere far, far away from Jim Bob, and not a runaway fake job in El Salvador. Maybe some "crunchy town" that embraces midwives and doulas, like Austin or Boulder. 

Please not Austin!!!! I've almost got hubs convinced that Texas is middle ground-out of California but not in my relatives laps, as he puts it.

[Million Children For Jesus]

1 minute ago, DaniLouisiana said:

Please not Austin!!!! I've almost got hubs convinced that Texas is middle ground-out of California but not in my relatives laps, as he puts it.

I almost didn't write Austin because I love it there, too, haha! It might be too hipster and liberal for Jill. It came to mind because it is close to Jinger and full of Christian non-profits. All of Texas is ripe with Christian non-profits. So is Oklahoma.

Derick hasn't completely destroyed his credibility yet. He has a small window of opportunity to get another accounting job before his flaky reputation precedes him everywhere he goes. Assuming he doesn't dig a giant ditch for himself by running his non-profit incorrectly, which it looks like that's where he's headed.

Of course, he doesn't HAVE to work for a Christian non-profit. I just went that way because that's technically the most recent item on his resume. Even if it's a pile of poop.

There are other areas, besides Austin, that are more conservative, and just as midwife and homeschool friendly. Bloomington, Indiana? Asheville, North Carolina? I think all of the other crunchy towns that I can think of are too liberal for them. 

 

[ShipFullOfHeads]

57 minutes ago, Mercer said:

If the Dillards had local friends in El Salvador, they should be able to find out by just asking around 1.) how people baby-proof their water heaters, or 2.) if for some reason that wouldn't be a possibility, what people do instead to heat their water, which would likely result in all the suggestions that have been made here.

The fact that they apparently see this as a problem without a solution makes me think that either it never crossed their minds that a local could ever impart knowledge to them rather than vice versa, or else they simply don't know anybody because they keep to themselves so much.

If they had friends. From all we can see, they are very isolated. First, because they live in a gated compound and then there's the language barrier. I'm always appaled whe in I watch people on reality TV with no or very very basic language skills moving to a another country for good or an extended period of time. Why not get a head start at home and once you arrive you have the skills to immerse yourself? This will puzzle me forever...

With all the scripted stories, why isn't anybody in the production team suggesting them a solution to this? Is this done to generate more drama, to make it more interesting? All I get from the this is, that SillyJilly and Dreck (do you know that this is German for "dirt"?) have no problem solving skills and a toddler is unnecessarily uncomfortable. This is not nice to see and makes worry. I just hope it's a stupid story line with not much flesh to it.

Has anybody mentioned how bad Dreck looks? He looks downright sick, how thin he is. He looks almost 'shopped.

[nst]

6 hours ago, Mercer said:

If the Dillards had local friends in El Salvador, they should be able to find out by just asking around 1.) how people baby-proof their water heaters, or 2.) if for some reason that wouldn't be a possibility, what people do instead to heat their water, which would likely result in all the suggestions that have been made here.

The fact that they apparently see this as a problem without a solution makes me think that either it never crossed their minds that a local could ever impart knowledge to them rather than vice versa, or else they simply don't know anybody because they keep to themselves so much.

I think they keep to themselves intentionally and they would never ask for help from people they are trying to convert. They are following jB's life to a tee. 

They both need to be smarter

[SassyPants]

6 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

I think he's running away. I think Derick is running away from Jim Bob, and also struggling to cope with Jill's neediness. He probably had no idea what he was getting himself into and feels suffocated. Derick isn't assertive and that's probably why he passed Jim Bob's test, because he wasn't going to challenge the status quo. At the same time, he had previously lived independently, so having all that in-law interference must be overwhelming.

I think he is a big time avoider type who can't cope or handle confrontation. Not with his wife, nor Jim Bob, or anyone. 

Jim Bob told them where they were going to live as newlyweds. As a "gift." He "gifted" them his control of their lives. They were "gifted" to live in Jim Bob's house and therefore, at Jim Bob's mercy. What a crap gift. It's still happening. They will live in Jim Bob's guest house when they return. Derick needs to man up and get a job somewhere far, far away from Jim Bob, and not a runaway fake job in El Salvador. Maybe some "crunchy town" that embraces midwives and doulas, like Austin or Boulder. 

Or somewhere in OK or MO where they might know people, and GM Cathy and D/D can come to visit. JB is not going to go too far out of his way to help anyone else. He might send a JSlave or JBoy, sure, but not himself.

[socalrules]

I don't think Derrick is running anyone from Jim Bob or anything other than adult responsibility.  Jim Bob isn't Derrick's problem, Derrick is Derrick's problem. If anything, marrying Jill has allowed Derrick to avoid adult responsibility. He refuses to work to financially support his family. He financially relies on Jim Bob, TLC and stupid people who send him money. He does so because he want to, not because anyone made him do so. Jim Bob isn't an all powerful being who can make Derrick do anything. Derrick has chosen to be a lazy, fake missionary. I don't he was doing much more work as a missionary when he was in Nepal before he met Jill. Derrick's current, pathetic lifestyle falls solely on Derrick, not Jim Bob. 

[ShipFullOfHeads]

19 hours ago, nst said:

I think they keep to themselves intentionally and they would never ask for help from people they are trying to convert. They are following jB's life to a tee. 
They both need to be smarter

 

They surely do. Even if it's because they're not confident to do so. From the Daily Mail article I got that they had missionary neighbours in their gated community. Why don't they ask them how they do things? They seem so unprepared for all of this. As someone up-thread said, they are not the best choice for a missionary trip. Not flexible, creative or prepared. They don't do well, even when they seemingly get everything on a silver platter. That's quite telling.


 

 

[OyToTheVey]

15 hours ago, divadivine said:

Dear Jilly Muffin, 

You're an absolute dipshit.  Why in the hell would you think it was a good idea to put your toddler in a cold shower? Clearly you learned absolutely nothing in all those years of being a sister mom, reading the wisdumb booklets and taking your midwife training. You get a large plastic bin and fill it with some cold water and add water you've warmed on the stove. Check the temperature and add more cold water if needed. Then put your child in the bin and give him a bath.  Even I could have figured that out and I'm an evil Catholic with a real college degree. I hope I never meet you in real life because I might slap you upside the head. 

Not a fan, 

diva

 

PS.... My friends live in Aruba. Most Arubans do not have hot water heaters because they are expensive and many of the older homes are not plumbed for them. In December my friend, who has kids, says the water is cold in the morning (Cold to an Aruban is warm to an American.... But it's cold to them, so...) she warms up some water on the stove and has it for the kids to use in their baths. She said she is ready to either buy the on demand water heater you can turn on when needed or a traditional water heater- her house is plumbed for a hot water heater, but it was really expensive so they haven't purchased one. 

If all of us on here figured this out, why can't Jilly Muffin and Dipshit Derrick? 

It's the oldest parent trick in the book. People do it in Russia too because it gets so cold. Boil water mix it with cold and you get a nice warm bath. I just can't believe she's so sheltered she hasn't figured out that one can simply boil water. 

[PennySycamore]

@Million Children For Jesus,  I don't know how things are in Bloomington, Indiana or the surrounding communities, but Asheville, North Carolina is pretty darn liberal although many nearby towns are deeply red.  Asheville has a Planned Parenthood, Malaprops Bookstore, several renowned vegetarian and vegan restaurants, a vibrant art and music scene and so on.  My daughter who went to college in Vermont think of Asheville as Vermont South.  A number of the towns around Asheville have pockets of progressives in them as well.  Black Mountain was the site of the legendary Black Mountain College, Western Carolina U is in Sylva, and Warren Wilson College is in Swannanoa. 

[Million Children For Jesus]

5 hours ago, ShipFullOfHeads said:

With all the scripted stories, why isn't anybody in the production team suggesting them a solution to this? Is this done to generate more drama, to make it more interesting?

My thoughts exactly! Do producers really care so little about these people that they're willing to idly stand by and watch them crash and burn? It doesn't appear that the Dullards or Benessa are being given any sound personal or professional guidance, but maybe they are, and choose to simply ignore it. Or not. Maybe producers are hoping for a train wreck ratings boost? Derick and Jill will surely deliver at this rate.

It IS scripted, but there is only so much script you can write for people who won't get jobs and who write hate rhetoric online in their down time. 

Ratings continue to decline, so it is apparent that freeloading off of the audience to go on mission-cation, or living off TLC money in Grandma's house while rapid breeding, aren't relatable or likable to audiences. Not even a marriage to the (relatively mainstream) holy goalie was enough to stop ratings from declining. Even if producers dislike the Duggars as people, or choose not to interfere for whatever variety of reasons, one would think they would step in just for ratings sake. Unless they're deliberately letting this die slowly while they build other pipelines.

[ShipFullOfHeads]

My thoughts exactly! Do producers really care so little about these people that they're willing to idly stand by and watch them crash and burn?

I just remembered how poor Josie pooped her pants, which was broadcast on national TV. And then the producer talked about in PEOPLE. He even acknowledged how embarrassing this might be for in the future. I think there's your answer.

[Million Children For Jesus]

2 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

 My daughter who went to college in Vermont think of Asheville as Vermont South.

Sounds awesome. For me. Maybe too liberal for Jilly. I heard it was a crunchy town, as in open to home schooling and midwives. I thought it was less liberal/more conservative than Austin, but maybe I wrote it to sound like I called it conservative. Bad writing.

I don't think I should suggest any town for Jilly because anyone who lives in said town will tell me not to jinx them, lol. As awful as I think she has become, I still hold out hope that she breaks free of the TTH and carves out a normal life elsewhere.

5 minutes ago, ShipFullOfHeads said:

And then the producer talked about in PEOPLE. He even acknowledged how embarrassing this might be for in the future. I

Wow. I didn't know that. Awful. 

[ShipFullOfHeads]

Wow. I didn't know that. Awful. 

Unfortunately, he did. I hoped I remembered it wrong. But here's the link: https://www.google.de/amp/people.com/tv/19-kids-and-counting-recap-12-behind-the-scenes-secrets/amp/

[Eternalbluepearl]

I finally caught some episodes of Counting On that were On Demand. I was shocked to see Jill and Derick once again in a big beautiful home while doing nothing other than bike rides and enjoying time as a family. It must be nice. If my life was like that, I might have constant sweet words about relying on the Lord as well. Everything that happens to these people on their show is so sweet and precious, it makes me wonder where all my sweetness and preciousness is! Lol. They're giving me a complex. 

[Audrey2]

1 hour ago, OyToTheVey said:

It's the oldest parent trick in the book. People do it in Russia too because it gets so cold. Boil water mix it with cold and you get a nice warm bath. I just can't believe she's so sheltered she hasn't figured out that one can simply boil water. 

If it were anyone but Jill, I would agree with your quote and everyone else's. However, Jill's parenting skills seem so poor that I can see her not adding enough cold water to the heated water and badly scalding Izzy.

 

Unfortunately, Jill seemed to learn all of her parenting skills from Michelle. As a wife now, her only job is to create and birth blessings, and raise them until they are about 6 months old and almost starting to be mobile. Then, it's time to hand them off to a sister mom and start the new blessing. She doesn't realize that she needs to actually raise her older children. I predict Jill will make the greatest use of sister moms, perhaps at younger ages than Michelle enlisted their help. In my opinion, she should have a much smaller family, since she doesn't want to parent them as they grow, although I know she won't stop.

[formergothardite]

9 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

Asheville, North Carolina?

NC has way too much crazy as it is! Please only send up normal folks! 

[NakedKnees]

9 hours ago, Mercer said:

If the Dillards had local friends in El Salvador, they should be able to find out by just asking around 1.) how people baby-proof their water heaters, or 2.) if for some reason that wouldn't be a possibility, what people do instead to heat their water, which would likely result in all the suggestions that have been made here.

The fact that they apparently see this as a problem without a solution makes me think that either it never crossed their minds that a local could ever impart knowledge to them rather than vice versa, or else they simply don't know anybody because they keep to themselves so much.

Thiiiiis. I don't care if you're a missionary, student, soldier, or what... this logic is so important when you move to a new country. There will always be little differences that take you by surprise.

In Chile (Santiago), only very new buildings have central gas, typically. I've lived in four places across the the city, and all have had very finicky water heaters that you buy gas canisters for, light and unlight daily, etc. It is a chore and takes getting used to.  My stepson is kid and he knows more about heating water than I did when I moved from the US in my twenties. Bathtubs aren't common, but lo and behold different sizes of plastic tubs/washers for babies and kids are available everywhere. I really hope Jill or Derrick is reading here and the lord reveals to them that asking for help is neither sinful nor inherantly dangerous.

[singsingsing]

This is so odd to me. My grandma grew up without running water and they still had hot baths! Israel is still so tiny, I'm sure they could find a bucket or something large enough to fill with hot water so that the poor little dude wouldn't have to take a cold shower...

[Queen]

On 6 mars 2017 at 1:15 AM, singsingsing said:

They truly, honestly believe that those who are not Christians ('real' Christians - Catholics are not included in that category for them) are going to hell. Hell isn't just a vague concept for them, or something they give lip service to. It's a real place, it's eternal, and it's more terrible than anything you could ever imagine. They believe that every single human being is destined to suffer eternal torment in hell unless they are 'real' Christians. To be a real Christian, you have to realize that you are a sinner, feel the shame of your sin, repent of your sin, and ask Jesus to forgive you and save you. Many further believe that there are other things necessary for salvation, such as non-infant full immersion baptism. 

Imagine actually believing that every person you meet who is not the right kind of Christian is going to hell. Every single one. You go on a mission trip and meet a vulnerable, sweet, innocent, funny, happy 10-year-old girl who doesn't believe what you believe. Later on she dies in a terrible car accident. She wasn't saved. She is burning in hell, enduring more pain, punishment, torment and agony than any human mind could possibly comprehend, and she will stay there burning for eternity.

(Bolding mine)

So do my averange Protestant/Lutheran parents, and most Christians around them. I was raised to believe that there were two ways you could go after death: heaven, where everything's wonderful and you're with God, or hell, where you'll suffer for an eternity. Maybe not from literal flames but more from deep depression/anxiety/loneliness. Which is IMO (as a person with depression) even worse than burning in fire.

They insist you have to believe Jesus was a god, his own son, who came to save us. There has to be some kind of reward for being a Christian (and the right kind even!), they say. I was afraid of hell until I was 19-20 years old and had done enough research to be 100% sure there's no hell. Fear is what kept me religious, I didn't dare to not believe even though I saw so many holes in the story. 

Even today,some years after I left the Church, I'm not entirely free from the mindset I was brainwashed into. Couple of days ago I read a review of an orchestra putting up Dante's Inferno (about hell, heaven and the purgatory), and the old fear stroke again. What if there is a hell? Logically I know there isn't, but still. 

And my parents and their likes claim that it is up to the person, if you choose to not believe in Jesus, it's your own fault you'll suffer for eternity. "Jesus wants you to believe, but he won't force it on you. He wants to be in your heart but you have to let him in!" they say. At the same time they insist their god is only about love, and don't understand why I feared hell. Sigh. They genuenly believe all this though, and think forcing their belief on everyone is what they ought to do. And this is why religion can be dangerous. My sister, even deeper in the kool-aid than our parents, once claimed that I need God/Jesus to ever recover from my depression... (No, I needed a good therapist and the right medication! Those things have helped me recover more than a god ever could!) 

Sorry for the rant! 

[singsingsing]

@Queen Your rant is truth! I empathize a lot. I was raised kind of vaguely secular Anglican, and hell wasn't really a concept at all in my upbringing. So when I became an active Christian as an adult, hell was an extremely difficult concept for me and I'd say it's what ultimately led me away from mainline/orthodox (small o) Christianity. Weirdly enough, I wasn't so much afraid of going to hell myself, I was appalled that my non-believing friends and family members were supposedly going there. Because I was raised in a secular environment, it was just a given to me that you did not have to believe in God at all, much less be a Christian, to be a good person. Hearing that my mother, my dad, my sister, and others I loved were going to burn in eternal agony was horrific to me. 

I think it's completely possible to be a Christian and to not believe in hell, or to believe that it's only for truly evil people, or that it's a temporary thing not at all how it's described in evangelical diatribes. I think a concept like purgatory is both more palatable and more logical than the duality of either heaven or hell, but that has its own issues. I recommend the book 'Love Wins' by Rob Bell to any Christians struggling with this, or even anyone interested in how the Biblical passages on hell can be interpreted very differently than we're used to in our culture, even within an orthodox Christian belief system. Lots of conservative evangelicals call Rob Bell a heretic, which, to those of us who are actual heretics, is hilarious.

Whether or not I identify as a Christian these days seems to depend on how the wind's blowing. It gave me a lot of angst a few years ago, when I was trying to figure out if I could be an orthodox Christian or not. Ultimately I just thought, "You know what? If God actually designed things so that you have to go against everything reason and logic tells you, ignore scientific and historical evidence, and firmly believe a set of propositions that are really difficult to believe, I'm screwed anyway. Because no matter how I try, I will never be able to trick myself into believing all of it."

One of the most insulting things I ever read was from a Christian apologist whose name I can't remember now (though the sentiment is expressed by many): basically, you'll be having so much fun up in heaven that you just won't care about what's going on in hell!

Really? So when I'm up in heaven partying with Jesus, I won't care that my mother, who I love probably more than anyone else in the world and who has been more of a true example of charity, love, kindness and self-sacrifice than any Christian I've known, is being tortured for eternity in a lake of fire? What kind of heaven is THAT? I think it's easy for people whose whole families and social circle are Christians to believe in hell. It's only when someone near and dear to them leaves the faith that they become unsettled and maybe start to question things.

Looks like you got me ranting, too, haha.

[MiddleAgedLady]

2 things: when will they return? I was thinking either before Easter or right after Easter. She's due in July and isn't it not recommended that you not fly after 6 months? 

 

I'm so glad I didn't blog about raising my children back in the day! To have a record, forever, on the Internet would be horrible for my children to stumble across one day. 

[Mela99]

7 minutes ago, MiddleAgedLady said:

2 things: when will they return? I was thinking either before Easter or right after Easter. She's due in July and isn't it not recommended that you not fly after 6 months? 

 

I'm so glad I didn't blog about raising my children back in the day! To have a record, forever, on the Internet would be horrible for my children to stumble across one day. 

I say before Easter. I lean towards an April wedding for Joy. Great excuse for them to come back. and Stay.

[VineHeart137]

5 minutes ago, MiddleAgedLady said:

2 things: when will they return? I was thinking either before Easter or right after Easter. She's due in July and isn't it not recommended that you not fly after 6 months? 

 

I'm so glad I didn't blog about raising my children back in the day! To have a record, forever, on the Internet would be horrible for my children to stumble across one day. 

I believe they're planning to come back around the 8 month mark. There isn't really a hard and fast rule about flying while pregnant. Recommendations and rules vary from doctor to doctor and airline to airline.

1 minute ago, Mela99 said:

I say before Easter. I lean towards an April wedding for Joy. Great excuse for them to come back. and Stay.

On the Joy's Engaged thread, some clues were uncovered that point to Joy's wedding not happening until after mid-May, which would fall in line with the Dillards returning when Jill is around 8 months pregnant.