Counting On: Season 3, Part 5: Engagment on the Horizon

[singsingsing]

I'm guessing not really the type to go to a tabloid, though. Plus, what would the story be? "I asked Jim Bob Duggar if I could date one of his daughters and he said no!" I doubt the tabloids would be shelling out a lot of cash for that scoop.

[Snarkle Motion]

8 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I'm guessing not really the type to go to a tabloid, though. Plus, what would the story be? "I asked Jim Bob Duggar if I could date one of his daughters and he said no!" I doubt the tabloids would be shelling out a lot of cash for that scoop.

Yeah. "Hi, I'm a total stranger fundy weirdo that no one has heard of and Jim Bob turned me down." Not exactly a tabloid news story. But it is internet fodder.

My friend participated in a "documentary" and she said that they would be asked to "reenact" scenes again for the camera. My guess is that Jim Bob is such a control freak that he would never allow being suprised by this type of talk or wanting anything to tarnish their brand of courtship. 

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, Snarkle Motion said:

Yeah. "Hi, I'm a total stranger fundy weirdo that no one has heard of and Jim Bob turned me down." Not exactly a tabloid news story. But it is internet fodder.

My friend participated in a "documentary" and she said that they would be asked to "reenact" scenes again for the camera. My guess is that Jim Bob is such a control freak that he would never allow being suprised by this type of talk or wanting anything to tarnish their brand of courtship. 

Oh yeah, the idea that reality shows are unscripted is laughable. Especially the Duggars. So when I argue that I see no reason for them to secretly get engaged earlier and then film the fake engagement later, it's not because I think they're super honest people or because I think the show is a realistic portrait of their lives, it's just because I can't see how it would benefit them or the show in any way.

I'm not sure if they re-enact the courtship proposals, but they most definitely do not happen out of the blue. The cameras aren't there 24/7, they show up to film specific things. This stuff is all arranged in advance with the film crew. I'm guessing discussions happen with potential courters(? is that a word? it is now) long before the relationship is official, where they lay out how the show works and what's going to be expected of them. Then the guy probably calls up Jim Bob and says, "I want to talk to you about starting an official courtship with Daughter X" and Jim Bob replies, "I'll talk to the film crew and let you know when to come over."

[grandmadugger]

7 hours ago, freedomfromfrumpers said:

Jessa's scavenger hunt proposal either was in fact a nightmare for the crew because the number of Release & Waivers needed for ALL the background people OR all those people were pulled in a casting call.  I'm guessing the latter.  The sheer number of setups for that would have taken likely all day.

 

The majority was in public places where they could film without releases.  Outdoor public spots don't have implied privacy for anyone but minors, minors have implied privacy no matter where they are. 

[Daisy0322]

Is it my memory being foggy or did Jeremy and Derek propose in a very similar way? I feel like TLC has a menu of proposal options or something that the guys can pick from. Because while Ben propose took forever and was kinda corny it seemed like the most personalized and I thought they seemed the most genuine. And poor Anna is stuck with that balloon propsal documented for all of time lol

[singsingsing]

Derick took Jill out to some kind of town square or park and had this guy sitting on a bench with a guitar sing a song written about them. Then he proposed, and Jill said, "Yes! Totally!"

Jeremy brought Jinger up to the top of a building in New York and had a quartet playing their favourite song. He told her they were going to take some pictures with the skyline in the background, then got down on one knee and proposed. 

I think Jinger was the only one genuinely surprised. I really think she was, and that she thought they were just taking pictures. Jessa knew her own engagement was coming the day it happened, and I think Jill did too. But with Jinger, she wouldn't have wondered why they were being filmed (because they were filming the whole New York trip) or why they were supposed to stand in a specific spot (because they were taking photos). 

Oh, and Josh proposed to Anna in a seafood restaurant with a bunch of balloons. 

[Gillyweed]

43 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Josh proposed to Anna in a seafood restaurant with

The quote is being weird but oh well. If I recall correctly, Josh had a plan to do it at a pretty spot outside but it was raining. I'm kind of surprised he still went through with it that day. And Anna was definitely surprised. 

[Jana814]

20 minutes ago, Gillyweed said:

The quote is being weird but oh well. If I recall correctly, Josh had a plan to do it at a pretty spot outside but it was raining. I'm kind of surprised he still went through with it that day. And Anna was definitely surprised. 

Yes she was surprised and yes the proposal was suppose to be outside.  

[Dandruff]

38 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

Yes she was surprised and yes the proposal was suppose to be outside.  

There have been a lot of "supposed to's" with Josh.

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Maybe they're not total slimeballs? I don't know, going to a tabloid and dishing your lame story about being rejected by Jim Bob Duggar seems like a pretty sketchy thing to do. 

I think, given all the family involvement with courtships, etc., that any potential suitor has a very good idea what the answer is going to be before asking.  So if the guy's daddy knows it's going to be no, or not yet, the guy either fades from sight or waits awhile - no talking to the press.  And I believe any guy who doesn't go through the proper channels before trying to approach Jim Bob really isn't a potential suitor and finds that out quickly.

[Italiangirl]

34 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

There have been a lot of "supposed to's" with Josh.

 

we could say that his all lif is a supposed to's: he supposed to be a good brother, a son, a good husband and a good father. 

[calimojo]

I don't get why any of them are surprised.  From the start of the courtship, marriage is the point.  So other than is it going to happen this week or next month,  there just isn't much surprise. 

 

I can't even go to the thread on Joy's engagement.  I just find it sad to think about.  On the one hand, it is encouraging that Austin has some skill and work ethic.  On the other hand, his family sounds to be even more extreme than the Duggars.    It would be great if they married and moved out from under the thumb of both patriarchs.  If Austin has really been able to flip and sell 5 houses over a short period of time,  maybe he really could support the two of them.  And, not to quote Austin, but Joy does seem to be a good worker, so the two of them could be a couple working side by side on home renovations.  But, I just have this sinking feeling that Joy is moving from the frying pan to the fire. 

Isn't there another well known fundie family that mandates the son be able to buy a house before he can court?  While that isn't a bad idea in theory if the couple are in agreement of where to live, etc.,  what bothers me is that an adult, even a young adult,  is forced to follow what his parents say.  I could advise my son not marry until he owns a home, but I don't think I would ever  forbid him from getting married until he had flipped x number of houses or whatever.    And if I tried, he would probably look at my like I was crazy, and then proceed to live his own life, because, that is what normal kids do when they are adults and normal parents may advise or offer opinions, but they can't control. 

 

[GoatZombie]

 

9 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Maybe they're not total slimeballs? I don't know, going to a tabloid and dishing your lame story about being rejected by Jim Bob Duggar seems like a pretty sketchy thing to do. 

I assume most of the guys who approach JB are family friends so probably don't want to ruin their family's connection with them..especially considering the duggars are "up the chain".  But some of the girls are pretty, Jana certainly is. I find it hard to believe there hasn't been a few non-fundie guys going after them who would crap talk/have nothing to lose. But maybe they can't even get close enough to the family to get the time of day from JB without seeming to play the game for a few years.

[singsingsing]

2 hours ago, GoatZombie said:

 But maybe they can't even get close enough to the family to get the time of day from JB without seeming to play the game for a few years.

I think that's probably the answer. Anyone who would go to a tabloid with their story of rejection wouldn't have a story worth telling, because, like you said, Jim Bob never would've given them the time of day in the first place. That's my theory, anyway.

[trustworthy]

Yeah, I have the same worries about Austen.  I love that he has a work ethic and was raised to be responsible. He seems to know there are choices in life and those choices have consequences (which Joshley doesn't seem to know).  I like that he had a goal and met it, (albeit one that his father set for him unfortunately.)  I did like his "I didn't know how long this would take but I was willing to wait for as long as it took" statement -- it was something like that.  It showed me he recognized her worth and was willing to do what it took to marry her.  And the two of them did have sweet looks at each other on the Rock that were deeper than some of the other couples ever had.  I like that they hadn't gone to the Rock in a year even though she wanted to go -- it was like he was saving it for this because he knew what it meant to her.

That being said, his father terrifies me.  I think she is indeed going from the frying pan in to the fire, exchanging one fundie terror for another.  But at least she gets to be outside and be more of her own thing -- not one of 21 in a chaotic household.  I'm encouraged that Austen only has one sibling, but worried because his sister got pregnant in under a year after marrying.  If BC is in Joy's future, then she IS taking a step forward in fundieland, and will have way more freedom than many of her sisters.  I just hope they live on their own and not at the camp. Because basically Austen would be under his father and Joy would be under Austen.  If they were on their own at least she'd be under only one layer of headship!

[GoatZombie]

7 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I think that's probably the answer. Anyone who would go to a tabloid with their story of rejection wouldn't have a story worth telling, because, like you said, Jim Bob never would've given them the time of day in the first place. That's my theory, anyway.

Also...their part of the fundie world is probably small enough that everyone knows everyone or is only a degree away. I'm sure a background check on any family is only a phone call away for JB. Honestly I was a bit surprised about Jeremy, his family is fundie I think, but seems a different breed. Also because he lived a "sinful life in the real world" for awhile. That was...until I saw how pray happy he is (or acts...thats what I tell myself to sleep better at night anyway) Man that morning devotional gave me the heebie jeebies. 

I also feel like most of the asking JB scenes are definitely scripted.  They just seem so awkward because no one can act...unless they really are that awkward. And you always know what the answer is.  I'd love to see TLC throw us for a loop with a "no" 

Whats the deal with Austin's family? Any thread where I can read about them?

[Four is Enough]

Oh, they'll never show us a no because that would shame their child!!

[MarblesMom]

8 hours ago, calimojo said:

I could advise my son not marry until he owns a home, but I don't think I would ever  forbid him from getting married

I am in agreement.  

Forbidding an adult (whether or not they are your child) to make their own decisions is just so... no.  We advise and counsel (and wring our hands in private), but once children are adults, they need to make their own lives (and mistakes/successes).

[singsingsing]

3 hours ago, GoatZombie said:

I also feel like most of the asking JB scenes are definitely scripted.  They just seem so awkward because no one can act...unless they really are that awkward. And you always know what the answer is.  

I think they're definitely scripted, but I'm not sure who's doing the majority of the scripting, Jim Bob or TLC. I had to laugh watching Austin's courtship proposal because Jim Bob's like a broken record. The fake-tense expression, the enigmatic frown, the long sigh, and then, "Well, [guy's name]..........................................." But he does still keep us guessing in other ways - will it happen in a closet? Or on another continent? What kind of muffin will he be eating while he decides how long to string the torture out? 

[picklepizzas]

oh btw! On the subject of where she got all that sleeveless clothing - i just watched the episode where she was packing for laredo and that orange dress was on the top of her suitcase! so whoever suggested that maybe she just had all those things and layered them when at home may be right. 

[MamaJunebug]

On 3/3/2017 at 6:58 PM, Carm_88 said:

Michelle will say "Sweet Joy Joy, it seems like just yesterday, that I gave her to Jill."

I love you. That is all!

[VeganCupcake]

6 hours ago, singsingsing said:

But he does still keep us guessing in other ways - will it happen in a closet? Or on another continent? What kind of muffin will he be eating while he decides how long to string the torture out? 

Lmaooooooo

[just...sare]

11 hours ago, singsingsing said:

 But he does still keep us guessing in other ways - will it happen in a closet? Or on another continent? What kind of muffin will he be eating while he decides how long to string the torture out? 

It's not going to be my internet history that gets me caught out for reading FJ at work - it's going to be the evidence of spit takes that I've missed.

 

 

 

That sounds super gross and I'd like to assure everyone I clean up really well after y'all make me spit my drinks out.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 3/4/2017 at 8:45 AM, Snarkle Motion said:

Yeah. "Hi, I'm a total stranger fundy weirdo that no one has heard of and Jim Bob turned me down." Not exactly a tabloid news story. But it is internet fodder.

My friend participated in a "documentary" and she said that they would be asked to "reenact" scenes again for the camera. My guess is that Jim Bob is such a control freak that he would never allow being suprised by this type of talk or wanting anything to tarnish their brand of courtship. 

Yeah that conversation was a total reshoot, which is why they always look so stiff and sound so awkward, these aren't actors so having to "pretend" to do this again makes it look s stiff and forced. While Jill & Jessa's engagements weren't reenacted, Jinger's was reenacted, sounds like Joy's may have to be reshot as well if he only did it with Hannie & Jenni  there. UNLESS the camera was already filming for the show.

[RosyDaisy]

It sounds to me like Joy and Austin were the closest to what we would call high school sweethearts for a fundie couple. I have a feeling they were "special friends" for a few years. The same could be said for Josiah and Marjorie Jackson, but sometimes young love doesn't last.

[eleanora3]

49 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Yeah that conversation was a total reshoot, which is why they always look so stiff and sound so awkward, these aren't actors so having to "pretend" to do this again makes it look s stiff and forced. While Jill & Jessa's engagements weren't reenacted, Jinger's was reenacted, sounds like Joy's may have to be reshot as well if he only did it with Hannie & Jenni  there. UNLESS the camera was already filming for the show.

Jinger's engagement was definitely not reenacted. She was truly shocked when he got down on one knee; she thought they were just doing a photoshoot on the roof