Jinger and Jeremy: Life with the Soccer Preacher Man

[Four is Enough]

@Coy Koi: I started in 1965, and those belts with the metal tabs were the WORST! My mother harnessed me up the first time, then expected me to figure it all out on my own, with the messy, smelly pad partially dug into the tabs, and the ends shredding as I tried to remove them to put a new pad on.

This is WAAY too much information, but once, I had my period for 3 straight weeks. (Mother had endometriosis, and she gave it to me, big time.) My mother bought me the Postpartum pads they used in the OB wards. Those things were about 15 inches long, 6 inches wide, and an inch thick. Didn't matter. After the very center got wet, they were no good at all. No "wicking" capabilities. Just overflow and mess.

I wound up in the hospital getting blood transfusions after that whole ordeal. Turns out that the OB doctor my mother took me to (I have no memory, probably because of no oxygen to the brain) encouraged her THEN to put me on the Pill (I was 14 and my periods were legendary) and  she wouldn't.  Thing is, she could have told me it was a vitamin and I'd have taken it. 

I was never so glad to see then end of anything as I was my periods. Hell on earth.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

22 hours ago, Fluffy14 said:

Does anyone think how odd it was the Jinger wanted to be surprised at her wedding decor? I thought about that. Most women are very detailed about what is going to be done down to the last detail.

No, because I was the same way. I wanted to elope, my mother wanted a big wedding. So my mom got her big wedding. I just sat back and let her do her thing.  The only thing I got to pick were bridesmaids dress and bouquets.  I didn't even get to pick my own wedding dress, I got bullied into getting the one everyone else liked not the one I liked. 20 years later I STILL hate the damn dress and hate looking at the pictures. I should have just eloped and taken the $15k my dad offered my mother would have gotten over it eventually, I think. 

[MayMay1123]

3 hours ago, KelseyAnn said:

What do you mean a belt? I'm confused. 

pads didn't use to have adhesive on the bottom to attach to your undies...you had an elastic belt that you clipped a pad onto (google 'kotex belt for pics) . when i had my first child in 1986 its what the hospital still used, i had no idea wth it was LOL

 

[PennySycamore]

3 hours ago, KelseyAnn said:

What do you mean a belt? I'm confused. 

Back in the middle ages -by which I mean the middle of the 20th Century and earlier- you'd have to wear an elastic belt with little fasteners somewhat like you'd find on a garter belt to hold up your disposable pad.  There were no adhesive pads.  Before Kotex and others, there were no disposable pads and women wore pads made of rags maybe padded with newspaper.  I don't know how they held them up.  And before those awful sounding pads, women wore nothing!

An interesting nit of trivia (well, to me at least):  That period of time where Lizzie Borden couldn't account for her whereabouts on the morning her father and step-mother were hacked to death?  She was in the cellar washing out her period rags.  Victorian sensibilities would not allow that to be mentioned in court.

[weirdemmaline]

Joining in on the sex ed/periods thread drift. Potentially TMI in next paragraph.

When I got my first period I had no idea what the fuck it was, even though my area had actually pretty good sex ed, all things considered and my mom had explained periods to me at least twice by that point, but it came out black. For like, six periods. I had been expecting blood, not weird black shit, so I thought I'd been wiping incorrectly or something. Literally nothing I'd read or been told had warned that it could be fucking BLACK. Somehow, I managed to just wad up toilet paper and managed like that for months until my mom noticed a dirty pair of undies in the laundry and decided that I must have gotten my period. 

And then she proceeded to tell EVERYONE and my dad and I had to talk her down from having a fucking period party for me, because that's exactly what 11 year old Awkward As Fuck/basically friendless me needed, right? 

[HarleyQuinn]

My mom always got selected for grand jury duty so she was gone a lot before my parents split up. I got my first period when she was away, and she took all the pads with her on her trip so I proceeded to have the most dramatic shouting match with my father through our bathroom door going "DAD WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?!" I literally sat there until he went to the store, came back, and slipped one under the door. And mind you, this is the first time I ever raised my voice at my dad or even argued with him. I totally lost it. 

He says he thought the whole thing was funny but I'm shocked he didn't kill me. I would have.  

[Exposedknees]

I chaperoned my daughters' girls choir on tours for years, I was always a little shocked at the young ladies who were shocked and uninformed by their first periods.  It was about a 70% were well informed, 20% had a sketchy understanding,  10% knew NOTHING!  One mom even got ticked at me after the trip because I had explained tampons as an option to her completely uninformed, never had a period before,- THIRTEEN YEAR OLD!  I thought to myself- " Your kid was damn lucky I was around for this"

On a bus trip with MS and HS girls  the rule is "Everyone who can menstruate will!" I always carried a bag chock full of every feminine product known to mankind.  

[LuckyShot]

I never had "the talk" with my Mom, but being a farm kid I knew where babies came from. My elementary school also had a really good sex ed program, so in Grade 6 I learned all about contraception, STDs and periods. I knew I could talk to my parents about these things, but I never felt the need. I knew where my Mom kept her tampons and pads, and had learned how to use them at school so when I started my period I didn't tell anyone, I just dealt with it. I'm sure my Mom noticed her pad stash dwindling, but we never discussed my period until two years later when I asked to go on the pill because my periods had gotten very heavy. She took me to the doctor, I got my prescription and that was that. I'm quite happy with how I learned everything. Very glad that my parents didn't force an awkward talk on me when I didn't really need it.

My husband's parents saved "the talk" until he was 18 years old and about to move out. He still cringes just thinking about it. He also grew up on a farm, and had the same sex education that I had at school, so even if he'd been a virgin he would have been well informed. He lost his virginity at 16, so that just made it extra awkward. I think his parents still believe he was a virgin until our wedding night!

The only thing I would have liked some clarity on was how long your period lasted. In school we learned that 3-5 days was average but for some reason I assumed that mine would last 3 days and then just be over. I didn't realize that the flow would gradually get lighter and then eventually stop. I ruined a few pairs of underwear before I figured it out.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

Back in the middle ages -by which I mean the middle of the 20th Century and earlier- you'd have to wear an elastic belt with little fasteners somewhat like you'd find on a garter belt to hold up your disposable pad.  There were no adhesive pads.  Before Kotex and others, there were no disposable pads and women wore pads made of rags maybe padded with newspaper.  I don't know how they held them up.  And before those awful sounding pads, women wore nothing!

An interesting nit of trivia (well, to me at least):  That period of time where Lizzie Borden couldn't account for her whereabouts on the morning her father and step-mother were hacked to death?  She was in the cellar washing out her period rags.  Victorian sensibilities would not allow that to be mentioned in court.

And this is also where the phrase "on the rag" comes from. Women used literal rags during their periods, tampons made of sticks and bits of fabric where used. and many used similar belts to tie the rags too.  Many in the more delicate times, like Lizzy Bordens time Ladies would take to their bed for their time of the month, for a lot of us that would be nice, bloating cramps and heavy flows all you want to do is lay in bed and eat. Or maybe that is just me. 

[DaniLouisiana]

1. Periods-Aunt Flo showedvup on my 10th birthday. I was very very glad my daughter didn't start til she 12ish but it was on a cross country trip to see my parents. We had little party when we arrived because she was happy that she had gotten her period. My poor Daddy-he missed out on that part of my life. He was good sport and set there with red face but, hey, that's what his grandbaby girl wanted so he was going to do it!

2. Saddest day of middle school for Kiddo was when he came home (7 grade) and told me that his friend from kindergarten was pregnant and he went and beat up the boy that got her pregnant and dumped her. The boy had 2-3 babies (with Babies!) by the end of that school year.

3. If I ever get my vow renewal-I'm telling DD,Kiddo and DIL, "these are the colors I want, these are the flowers & here's where I want to do the ceremony. Cousin's phone number are here-there are an army and navy of them to help." I pick the dress and let the fashion-design-detail people in my family handle the rest. "Oh, and tell Dennie and Sebby that they can I BOTH perform the ceremony, geeeez!"

[singsingsing]

I knew what a period was, I knew it was coming, and I was not happy about it at all! At the same time, I just wanted it to happen so it would be over with and I could stop worrying it would randomly start at school or something. Well, it didn't start at school. It started New Year's Eve at a family gathering. New Year's Eve 1999. Yes, my first period was Y2K.

[Kak]

I have an extremly repressed mother, who discussed nothing, and I mean nothing. I got given a belt too, in the early eighties. I was/still am horrified by that. I used it too, until I discovered I had other options. I'll join the therapy queue. 

[Pasta]

So, everyone. How does your history make you feel? 

 

*Totally legit psycho... I mean psychologist. 

[Kittikatz]

@weirdemmaline Oh yes - the terror of the black blood. I well remember that. And the giant blood clots, and heavy, almost pyroclastic, flows... so not described in any of my sex ed classes! When the teachers talked about 2 - 3 tablespoons of blood over 3 - 5 days   I was thinking it would bleed lightly and bright red, like a superficial cut and then just stop... I was so not imagining the daily scenes of carnage in my underwear for 10+ days a month. I get they didn't want to scare kids, but it would have been nice to know about the range of experiences.

[PennySycamore]

I got my period in 6th grade when I was over at my aunt's house.  I'll take that any day over what happened to my best friend. We were at summer band practice (think we were in beginner band where we both played the flute) and Laura was wearing a dress with a white or light tan skirt.  She got up from her chair at the end of practice and had this huge red stain in the back of her dress.  She was totally unaware, of course.  We girls walked right behind her because we all understood.  

I went through junior high mortified that that this hot guy in my math class would grab my purse, rifle through it and discover my stash of equipment.

[Jana814]

I got mine @ 11 in Florida. It was the worst. I was always one of the youngest kids in my class (August birthday) but was one of the first to develope & get my period. 

[nokidsmom]

43 minutes ago, Kittikatz said:

@weirdemmaline Oh yes - the terror of the black blood. I well remember that. And the giant blood clots, and heavy, almost pyroclastic, flows... so not described in any of my sex ed classes! When the teachers talked about 2 - 3 tablespoons of blood over 3 - 5 days   I was thinking it would bleed lightly and bright red, like a superficial cut and then just stop... I was so not imagining the daily scenes of carnage in my underwear for 10+ days a month. I get they didn't want to scare kids, but it would have been nice to know about the range of experiences.

When I got my period at 11, I knew what it was, however what I was not prepared for was the heavy flow and giant clots. The first few months were light but about 5 months in, that's when the heavy flows and clots (that I could expect for years) kicked in.  The day it started, I was on a day trip with my folks and all I had on was a regular pad, expecting it to be light as before.  That pad overflowed fast.  On top of that, we will traveling on a a Sunday in a rural area so stores were closed, therefore I couldn't get more pads. We made it to a rest stop so I could get a pad (finally!) but I left a huge stain on the back seat of my parents' fairly new car that never fully came out.   And I found out how really big clots could get,  I passed one the size of my fist.

Throughout my teens, it lasted 10 days, heavy flows for the first 4-5 days and OMG the cramps.  When it shortened to 7 days in my 20s, with 2-3 days heavy flow and cramps that were manageable with just Tylenol, I was so grateful. 

But 2-3 teaspoons?  I was surprised I had any blood left.  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

40 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

I got my period in 6th grade when I was over at my aunt's house.  I'll take that any day over what happened to my best friend. We were at summer band practice (think we were in beginner band where we both played the flute) and Laura was wearing a dress with a white or light tan skirt.  She got up from her chair at the end of practice and had this huge red stain in the back of her dress.  She was totally unaware, of course.  We girls walked right behind her because we all understood.  

I went through junior high mortified that that this hot guy in my math class would grab my purse, rifle through it and discover my stash of equipment.

A classmate of mine didn't get hers this way but one month she was sitting in class and got up at the end of class and had bleed so much she left a puddle in her chair and it ran down her legs got on the floor she was mortified we were in 8th grade. She had endometriosis very badly she missed a couple days of school every month, she tried different BC pills but this was the late 80's so we didn't have the options we do now. Nothing worked and she wound up having a hysterectomy a week after we graduated. She knew with as severe as her endo was she'd never have kids and was in horrible pain all the time, it was better to just take the damn thing out.  She went off to college in August like most of us, and now 29 years later she's a doctor and has adopted 2 kids. 

[HarleyQuinn]

I knew all about that because we had a decent talk about it with our school counselor, but I wasn't expecting to happen to me so quickly after hearing about it for the first time. That and the no mom thing. lol

[HermioneSparrow]

I knew what to do about my period but I didn't recognize the cramps, I had cramps for like two days before actually getting my period and I thought I was going to die lol but i finally got it just took a shower and got a pad, it wasn't a big deal. However, i did not tell my mom because she always made a fuss about it, she found out like a year later lmao.

My poor sis knew what to do but got it at school and she left a big puddle on her chair, I had to go and pick her up. She was very embarrassed.

[Cat Damon]

There was a girl in my first grade class that told everyone about sex in the bathroom one day. I vaguely remember this, but my dad told me that later that I night I asked him about sex and he had no idea how to respond, hadn't planned to have "the talk" with his seven year old daughter, so he simply responded that it was how babies were made. My response? "So you've only done sex twice then right?" (I have a younger sister). Still makes me giggle to think about how uncomfortable he probably was.

[Denim Jumper]

20 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Big Mama JB was close to perfect.m, but not. I was bored one day and rummaged in the credenza for something to do. Found a little  booklet with a photo of a nurse in the funniest-looking cap I'd ever seen and took it to BMJB, laughing. She blanched and yelled, ""PUT THAT BACK and stay out of the furniture!"  When I started a few weeks later, she mentioned that this is what that booklet  was about, kitted me out with a pad and a belt (young ones: don't ask me, but do thank your personal deity for removable adhesive pads and good tampons) and there we were. Never did read the blasted booklet. I like to think the junior JB females got better info from me, but i was so tired all the time during those years, I don't recall. 

The Belt. I was outfitted with one after giving birth to my first child. In 2005. Yes, 2005. I look at the nurse and asked "Where do I put it, and why do you still have these things??" 

Prior to that, the only time I had heard of them was when I saw in a public restroom a dispenser for "beltless maxi pads" and I was mystified over why one would need a belt.

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

I got my period in 6th grade when I was over at my aunt's house.  I'll take that any day over what happened to my best friend. We were at summer band practice (think we were in beginner band where we both played the flute) and Laura was wearing a dress with a white or light tan skirt.  She got up from her chair at the end of practice and had this huge red stain in the back of her dress.  She was totally unaware, of course.  We girls walked right behind her because we all understood.  

I went through junior high mortified that that this hot guy in my math class would grab my purse, rifle through it and discover my stash of equipment.

OMG, when I got my first period, I had no idea what to do, so I wrote a note to pass to my friend during class. Unbeknownst to me, the note fell on the floor and the boy behind me picked it up an read it. Told everyone about it, and mercilessly teased me for the rest of the school year.

[danni9242]

My Mum made sure to talk to me about periods when I was 10 so I'd be prepared if they came on the earlier side. She didn't want be to be like her where she screamed at the babysitter she was bleeding internally and going to die and the babysitter had to explain and get her sorted!

With so many girls all in one room with one bathroom I imagine Duggar girls now don't get too much of a shock.

[friendofgreen]

my told me that she had the belted pads and i seriously thought she made it up. 

but like another poster said when mine started it was pretty black and i thought for sure it had been b/c i had attempted to jill-off. my school had a great sex ed program and I knew I was supposed to be getting it-but i waited until about month 3 to realize and tell my mom (she used tampons only-and I was a bit scared of them at first) turns out I got it on my 12th birthday. Happy birthday! have some cramps! 

as far as "the talk" i was watching the salt and peppa special-lets talk about sex. my mom then chimed in with-"wait until you're married"  and that was the extent of the talk 

i'm actually very glad it didn't go beyond that --it's just awkward 

[Audrey2]

2 hours ago, DaniLouisiana said:

1. Periods-Aunt Flo showedvup on my 10th birthday. I was very very glad my daughter didn't start til she 12ish but it was on a cross country trip to see my parents. We had little party when we arrived because she was happy that she had gotten her period. My poor Daddy-he missed out on that part of my life. He was good sport and set there with red face but, hey, that's what his grandbaby girl wanted so he was going to do it!

2. Saddest day of middle school for Kiddo was when he came home (7 grade) and told me that his friend from kindergarten was pregnant and he went and beat up the boy that got her pregnant and dumped her. The boy had 2-3 babies (with Babies!) by the end of that school year.

3. If I ever get my vow renewal-I'm telling DD,Kiddo and DIL, "these are the colors I want, these are the flowers & here's where I want to do the ceremony. Cousin's phone number are here-there are an army and navy of them to help." I pick the dress and let the fashion-design-detail people in my family handle the rest. "Oh, and tell Dennie and Sebby that they can I BOTH perform the ceremony, geeeez!"

Your son (Kiddo)  sounds awesome! I appreciate him sticking up for his friend. I would have been proud of my son if he got in trouble for beating up that boy, and he wouldn't have had any consequences at home for getting in trouble at school. Congratulations on raising such a fine Kiddo.